Soberly Speaking

Use code 'SOBER' for 50% off at checkout www.iwannagummies.com 

At just seven years old, Liam Christopher knew how to check whether his mum was still alive.

Growing up in public housing with three brothers, two parents struggling with substance use and a home where violence was a part of everyday life, Liam was forced to grow up far too quickly.

He learnt early on to look after himself and the people around him, taking on a responsibility no child should have to carry. Today, Liam is a successful entrepreneur, partner and dad, with a life that looks worlds away from the one he grew up in.
But Liam has also lost two of his three brothers, including one to suicide. So how does a childhood spent in survival mode shape the person you become, even decades later?

Follow Liam Christopher on social media: @itsliamchristopher

Disclaimer: The stories and experiences shared in this episode are personal accounts told in good faith. While we strive to present these narratives accurately, the views and claims expressed are those of the individuals involved and have not been independently verified. Soberly Speaking and its host, Julia Rangiheuea, do not take responsibility for the accuracy or validity of the information shared. Listener discretion is advised.

This episode contains discussions of sexual assault, addiction, drug use, mental health, suicide and recovery. If this episode raises anything for you, please reach out to a trusted support person or contact a crisis support service in your area.

The National Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline is a free and confidential 24/7 phone service that provides counselling, advice, and information for those struggling with addiction. Call 1800 250 015

⁠https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotline⁠

Lifeline Australia provides 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention services. Call 13 11 14

⁠https://www.lifeline.org.au⁠

1800RESPECT provides support for people impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence and abuse. Call 1800 737 732

⁠https://www.1800respect.org.au⁠

Creator & Host- Julia Rangiheuea

Creative Director - Beaudene Perussich

In the spirit of reconciliation Soberly Speaking acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.

Join our Patreon: https://patreon.com/SoberlySpeaking

Follow Soberly Speaking on Instagram: @soberlyspeaking

Want to share your story? Apply now: https://soberlyspeaking.com.au/

Join our Patreon: ⁠⁠https://patreon.com/SoberlySpeaking⁠ 

This week, I’m joined by award-winning psychotherapist Paula Williams to explore why we can continue behaviours we know aren’t good for us, even when we desperately want to change.

Using Internal Family Systems (IFS), Paula explains the different parts of ourselves and why one part can want to let go while another still clings to a behaviour. We discuss people-pleasing, replacing one addiction with another, relapse and the ways addiction can shape an entire family system across generations.

And what does recovery look like when sobriety is no longer the end goal, but the beginning?

Disclaimer: The stories and experiences shared in this episode are personal accounts told in good faith. While we strive to present these narratives accurately, the views and claims expressed are those of the individuals involved and have not been independently verified. Soberly Speaking and its host, Julia Rangiheuea, do not take responsibility for the accuracy or validity of the information shared. Listener discretion is advised.

This episode contains discussions of sexual assault, addiction, drug use, mental health, suicide and recovery. If this episode raises anything for you, please reach out to a trusted support person or contact a crisis support service in your area.

The National Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline is a free and confidential 24/7 phone service that provides counselling, advice, and information for those struggling with addiction. Call 1800 250 015

⁠https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotline⁠

Lifeline Australia provides 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention services. Call 13 11 14

⁠https://www.lifeline.org.au⁠

1800RESPECT provides support for people impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence and abuse. Call 1800 737 732

⁠https://www.1800respect.org.au⁠

Creator & Host- Julia Rangiheuea

Creative Director - Beaudene Perussich

Image & Logo- Jasmine Rule

In the spirit of reconciliation Soberly Speaking acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.

Join our Patreon: ⁠⁠https://patreon.com/SoberlySpeaking⁠ 

“I was a horizontal drinker”

Alex’s relationship with alcohol and substances had always been extreme, but when a business partner left him tens of thousands of dollars in debt, the financial pressure catapulted his drinking and coke use to another level. Before long, he was hiding whiskey under his pillow so he could wake up, drink, and pass out again.

Alex’s journey with sobriety has been anything but linear. After becoming physically dependent on alcohol, he suffered a seizure while trying to go cold turkey and relapsed multiple times. Even after finally quitting alcohol, Alex admits he wasn’t happy in sobriety.

After travelling to Colombia for an ayahuasca ceremony, Alex relapsed and brought his drinking back to the UK. When he eventually sought help, he made the decision to go all in on AA, something he had never truly done before.

Follow Alex on Instagram: @recoveringalkialex

Disclaimer: The stories and experiences shared in this episode are personal accounts told in good faith. While we strive to present these narratives accurately, the views and claims expressed are those of the individuals involved and have not been independently verified. Soberly Speaking and its host, Julia Rangiheuea, do not take responsibility for the accuracy or validity of the information shared. Listener discretion is advised.

This episode contains discussions of sexual assault, addiction, drug use, mental health, suicide and recovery. If this episode raises anything for you, please reach out to a trusted support person or contact a crisis support service in your area.

The National Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline is a free and confidential 24/7 phone service that provides counselling, advice, and information for those struggling with addiction. Call 1800 250 015

⁠https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotline⁠

Lifeline Australia provides 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention services. Call 13 11 14

⁠https://www.lifeline.org.au⁠

1800RESPECT provides support for people impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence and abuse. Call 1800 737 732

⁠https://www.1800respect.org.au⁠

Creator & Host- Julia Rangiheuea

Creative Director - Beaudene Perussich

Image & Logo- Jasmine Rule

In the spirit of reconciliation Soberly Speaking acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.

Join our Patreon: ⁠⁠https://patreon.com/SoberlySpeaking⁠ 

This is the second and final part of Aunee’s two-part interview.

We continue our conversation as Aunee opens up about the depths of her alcohol dependence, including constantly blacking out and reaching a point where she had no care for her children. She reflects on the neglect her children experienced, and how her eldest two never really got to have a childhood.

Aunee was eventually tapered off alcohol by her father before entering detox and then spending months in rehab.

She finishes this two-part series by reflecting on how she went from being a victim of abuse to becoming an abuser herself, and the trail of destruction that followed.

Follow Aunee on Instagram: @Brown_Girl_In_a_Bottle

Disclaimer: The stories and experiences shared in this episode are personal accounts told in good faith. While we strive to present these narratives accurately, the views and claims expressed are those of the individuals involved and have not been independently verified. Soberly Speaking and its host, Julia Rangiheuea, do not take responsibility for the accuracy or validity of the information shared. Listener discretion is advised.

This episode contains discussions of sexual assault, addiction, drug use, mental health, suicide and recovery. If this episode raises anything for you, please reach out to a trusted support person or contact a crisis support service in your area.

The National Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline is a free and confidential 24/7 phone service that provides counselling, advice, and information for those struggling with addiction. Call 1800 250 015

⁠https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotline⁠

Lifeline Australia provides 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention services. Call 13 11 14

⁠https://www.lifeline.org.au⁠

1800RESPECT provides support for people impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence and abuse. Call 1800 737 732

⁠https://www.1800respect.org.au⁠

Creator & Host- Julia Rangiheuea

Creative Director - Beaudene Perussich

Image & Logo- Jasmine Rule

In the spirit of reconciliation Soberly Speaking acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.

Join our Patreon: ⁠⁠https://patreon.com/SoberlySpeaking⁠ 

Aunee still remembers the nightie she was wearing as a little five-year-old girl when her uncle first introduced her to the “tickle game”.

What was presented to her as a fun game she could play with someone she trusted was something much more sinister. This continued for years, and the ripple effects have been lifelong.

Aunee’s story explores the devastating impact of generational trauma, complex mental health challenges and alcohol dependence, and how the pain of her own childhood trauma impacted not only her life, but also the lives of her three children.

In this deeply vulnerable conversation, Aunee reflects on the painful reality of how unresolved trauma can shape the lives of those around us, sharing how she went from being a victim of abuse to recognising the ways her own trauma eventually led her to cause harm to others.

Disclaimer: The stories and experiences shared in this episode are personal accounts told in good faith. While we strive to present these narratives accurately, the views and claims expressed are those of the individuals involved and have not been independently verified. Soberly Speaking and its host, Julia Rangiheuea, do not take responsibility for the accuracy or validity of the information shared. Listener discretion is advised.

This episode contains discussions of sexual assault, addiction, drug use, mental health, suicide and recovery. If this episode raises anything for you, please reach out to a trusted support person or contact a crisis support service in your area.

The National Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline is a free and confidential 24/7 phone service that provides counselling, advice, and information for those struggling with addiction. Call 1800 250 015

⁠https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotline⁠

Lifeline Australia provides 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention services. Call 13 11 14

⁠https://www.lifeline.org.au⁠

1800RESPECT provides support for people impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence and abuse. Call 1800 737 732

⁠https://www.1800respect.org.au⁠

Creator & Host- Julia Rangiheuea

Creative Director - Beaudene Perussich

Image & Logo- Jasmine Rule

In the spirit of reconciliation Soberly Speaking acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.

Join our Patreon: ⁠⁠https://patreon.com/SoberlySpeaking⁠ 

She's the most recognisable name in the sober scene: the woman behind Sober Girl Society. But Millie Gooch won't call herself an alcoholic. For years she lived in the 'messy middle' nobody talks about, while alcohol quietly wrecked her health, her relationships and her sense of self.

In this episode, Millie talks about hangxiety, blackouts and the uncomfortable truth about alcohol's role in family violence and sexual assault: the elephant in every room that no one wants to name. She also opens up about being diagnosed with ADHD and autism later in life, and how that reframed everything she thought she knew about herself.

Millie isn't here to kill the party. She's on a mission to prove you can ditch the drink and keep every ounce of the fun, and she wants every woman listening to know it's possible.

Disclaimer: The stories and experiences shared in this episode are personal accounts told in good faith. While we strive to present these narratives accurately, the views and claims expressed are those of the individuals involved and have not been independently verified. Soberly Speaking and its host, Julia Rangiheuea, do not take responsibility for the accuracy or validity of the information shared. Listener discretion is advised.

This episode contains discussions of sexual assault, addiction, drug use, mental health, suicide and recovery. If this episode raises anything for you, please reach out to a trusted support person or contact a crisis support service in your area.

The National Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline is a free and confidential 24/7 phone service that provides counselling, advice, and information for those struggling with addiction. Call 1800 250 015

⁠https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotline⁠

Lifeline Australia provides 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention services. Call 13 11 14

⁠https://www.lifeline.org.au⁠

1800RESPECT provides support for people impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence and abuse. Call 1800 737 732

⁠https://www.1800respect.org.au⁠

Creator & Host- Julia Rangiheuea

Creative Director - Beaudene Perussich

Image & Logo- Jasmine Rule

In the spirit of reconciliation Soberly Speaking acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.

Join our Patreon: ⁠⁠https://patreon.com/SoberlySpeaking⁠ 

Can you prove narcissistic behaviour in family court? What actually counts as financial abuse? And can one parent stop a child from seeing the other after a separation?

Family law barrister Jason Hadden joins me in London to answer some of the most common questions about family court. We unpack what evidence courts look for, how coercive control and financial abuse are viewed in legal proceedings and what really happens when relationships break down and parenting disputes begin.

Whether you're navigating the family court system yourself or simply want to better understand how these cases are decided, this episode is a look into what holds up in court and what doesn't.

Follow Jason Hadden on Instagram: @familybarrister

Disclaimer: The stories and experiences shared in this episode are personal accounts told in good faith. While we strive to present these narratives accurately, the views and claims expressed are those of the individuals involved and have not been independently verified. Soberly Speaking and its host, Julia Rangiheuea, do not take responsibility for the accuracy or validity of the information shared. Listener discretion is advised.

This episode contains discussions of sexual assault, addiction, drug use, mental health, suicide and recovery. If this episode raises anything for you, please reach out to a trusted support person or contact a crisis support service in your area.

The National Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline is a free and confidential 24/7 phone service that provides counselling, advice, and information for those struggling with addiction. Call 1800 250 015

⁠https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotline⁠

Lifeline Australia provides 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention services. Call 13 11 14

⁠https://www.lifeline.org.au⁠

1800RESPECT provides support for people impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence and abuse. Call 1800 737 732

⁠https://www.1800respect.org.au⁠

Creator & Host- Julia Rangiheuea

Creative Director - Beaudene Perussich

Image & Logo- Jasmine Rule

In the spirit of reconciliation Soberly Speaking acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.

Join our Patreon: ⁠⁠https://patreon.com/SoberlySpeaking⁠ 

Raised in South Africa by two morticians, Kerry grew up with a loving mother and an absent, alcoholic father who, in her words, should never have been a parent. In sobriety, memories of him behaving in sexually inappropriate ways towards her, and allegedly involving his friends, have begun to resurface.

But the harm within her family didn't end there.

Kerry also shares that she experienced sexual abuse by her brother. As she got older, a moment involving him and her younger sister forced her to confront a reality she could no longer ignore.

By adolescence, Kerry was already drinking heavily, and that pattern of survival followed her into adulthood. After moving to Australia, isolation, loneliness and a later violent relationship deepened her dependence on alcohol. The cycle of unsafe and untrustworthy men continued to repeat itself throughout her life.

Eventually, Kerry reached a breaking point and found Alcoholics Anonymous. She shares how AA helped her begin rebuilding her life, particularly through Step Four, where she was finally able to have honest conversations with her mother about what really happened in her childhood home.

Disclaimer: The stories and experiences shared in this episode are personal accounts told in good faith. While we strive to present these narratives accurately, the views and claims expressed are those of the individuals involved and have not been independently verified. Soberly Speaking and its host, Julia Rangiheuea, do not take responsibility for the accuracy or validity of the information shared. Listener discretion is advised.

This episode contains discussions of sexual assault, addiction, drug use, mental health, suicide and recovery. If this episode raises anything for you, please reach out to a trusted support person or contact a crisis support service in your area.

The National Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline is a free and confidential 24/7 phone service that provides counselling, advice, and information for those struggling with addiction. Call 1800 250 015

⁠https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotline⁠

Lifeline Australia provides 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention services. Call 13 11 14

⁠https://www.lifeline.org.au⁠

1800RESPECT provides support for people impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence and abuse. Call 1800 737 732

⁠https://www.1800respect.org.au⁠

Creator & Host- Julia Rangiheuea

Creative Director - Beaudene Perussich

Image & Logo- Jasmine Rule

In the spirit of reconciliation Soberly Speaking acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.

Join our Patreon: ⁠⁠https://patreon.com/SoberlySpeaking⁠ 

What happens when the life you were born into is the very thing trying to destroy you?

Tove never chose gang life. She was born into it.

Raised around gangs, addiction and violence, some of Tove’s earliest memories were pumping her stepmother’s stomach after overdoses. As she got older, gang members became her friends, then her partners and addiction became the only constant in a life defined by chaos.

After a violent multi-gang shootout at her house and fearing for her safety, Tove fled New Zealand with nothing but a carry-on bag, leaving behind everything she’d ever known.

Now living in Australia and 18 months sober, she’s rebuilding her life while facing the uncertainty of possible deportation and unresolved legal matters.

In this exclusive interview, Tove speaks publicly for the very first time about growing up in gang life, generational trauma and whether escape is even possible when everything is stacked against you. 

Follow Tove on Instagram: @tove_uhh

Disclaimer: The stories and experiences shared in this episode are personal accounts told in good faith. While we strive to present these narratives accurately, the views and claims expressed are those of the individuals involved and have not been independently verified. Soberly Speaking and its host, Julia Rangiheuea, do not take responsibility for the accuracy or validity of the information shared. Listener discretion is advised.

This episode contains discussions of sexual assault, addiction, drug use, mental health, suicide and recovery. If this episode raises anything for you, please reach out to a trusted support person or contact a crisis support service in your area.

The National Alcohol & Other Drug Hotline is a free and confidential 24/7 phone service that provides counselling, advice, and information for those struggling with addiction. Call 1800 250 015

⁠https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/support/national-alcohol-other-drug-hotline⁠

Lifeline Australia provides 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention services. Call 13 11 14

⁠https://www.lifeline.org.au⁠

1800RESPECT provides support for people impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence and abuse. Call 1800 737 732

⁠https://www.1800respect.org.au⁠

Creator & Host- Julia Rangiheuea

Creative Director - Beaudene Perussich

Image & Logo- Jasmine Rule

In the spirit of reconciliation Soberly Speaking acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.