Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD with Eve Menezes Cunningham

Welcome to Excitement Without AuDHD Burnout: Episode 124 of Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD with Eve Menezes Cunningham.

Today, we’re looking at living life to the full. Not simply trying to calm your extra sensitive nervous system (although that is a wonderful way of bringing it into balance in this 24/7 society) but enjoying the lifted states.

Doing the things that energise us, that excite us and bring joy more deliberately and frequently while also recognising that our extra sensitive nervous systems need more rest before and afterwards and building those buffers in.

What are your favourite ways to lift your nervous system? What gets you enthusiastic about life?

What helps you come back to earth with less of a crash? How can you better manage these transitions?

Thanks for watching/listening and let me know in the comments or by emailing [email protected]

le grá (with love),

Ev3

CHAPTERS

0:00 The nervous system has different states for a reason

1:43 Why sympathetic activation isn’t bad

3:41 Understanding AuDHD burnout and your own nervous system

5:31 The things that make you feel activated in a good way

6:54 Making space for joy and recovery

7:29 Knowing you deserve joy

9:39 Finding support in nature and spiritual practices

10:14 The role of community and co-regulation

11:35 Balancing connection with enough recovery time

12:39 Connecting with your younger self

13:30 Grounding and listening to what you need

LINKS

https://solestosoul.ie/feline

If you enjoyed this, check out:

Episode 84: Be Kinder to Your Extra Sensitive Nervous System

Episode 105: Su-Purr! Polyvagal Purrs evolution

Episode 115: Inoculate yourself against despair

Choose your own adventures: New adventures in the works including Inner Child Play, Stop Self Loathing, Move Past People Pleasing and Purpose, Meaning and Joy

https://solestosoul.ie/adventures/

Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads

Welcome to this brand new episode: Reducing Cortisol with Neuroscientist Dr Manish Tomar for Episode 123 of the Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD with Eve Menezes Cunningham Podcast.

Two of my favourite things about our conversation were:

1) his pointing out that the brain benefits from teeny tiny self-care, Self care and collective care practices – it’s all about intention and

2) teeny tiny breaks every 60-90 minutes, even to have a quick stretch or delicious sip of water help us reduce excess cortisol by reminding our nervous systems that we’re safe

He explained that we can try and prove ourselves worthy by crossing the Sahara but actually, the brain doesn’t differentiate between something enormous like that and something as simple as even a couple of Sun Salutations each day or a walk in the park.

As you commit to ANY practices that help you feel more connected to yourself, your Self and each other, you’re supporting yourself at a neurobiological level, too.

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I enjoyed talking to Dr Manish Tomar.

Le grá (with love),

Ev3

HASHTAGS

#neuroscience

#reducecortisol

#adhdsupport

#traumarecovery

#drmanishtomar

#newpodcastepisode

#solestosoulcarefortraumaandaudhd

CHAPTERS

0:00 Introduction: Why tiny intentional actions change the brain

0:41 Welcome to Dr Manish Tomar

3:27 From dream research to neuroscience and meditation

7:53 What does self-care really look like?

12:11 Why small acts of kindness to yourself matter

14:32 A simple breathing practice to regulate your nervous system

16:46 Movement, dopamine and making difficult tasks easier

20:37 Finding awe in nature and the power of the sea

25:49 Co-regulation, community and emotional safety

29:21 Why lots of little self-care practices work best

31:38 What would you tell your younger self?

34:19 Grounding practice and closing reflections

LINKS

Sisters of Defiance with Anita Rani

If you enjoyed this episode, check out:

Episode 47: Create Your Dopamenu

Episode 83: Community as self-care with Elizabeth Potts

Choose your own adventures: New adventures in the works including Inner Child Play, Stop Self Loathing, Move Past People Pleasing and Purpose, Meaning and Joy

https://solestosoul.ie/adventures/

Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads

Is Elle Woods autistic? Legally Blonde 2 is one of my all-time favourite films and I’ve been adoring the new prequel series Elle on Prime in Ireland.

While I’ve seen the films several times and I saw the musical in London, it’s only now watching Elle that I’m like, oh my god, is she autistic?

Might she be autistic?

Might that be why, even though we don’t have much in common, I’ve always adored the character so much.

What they’ve done is they’ve put her in the 90s, in high school, in the midst of grunge, moving from Bel-Air in California to Seattle.

It’s genius.

What do you think? Might she be autistic?

le grá (with love),

Ev3

CHAPTERS

0:00 Is Elle Woods autistic?

0:52 Welcome to Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD

2:04 Why Elle Woods might be autistic

5:20 Special interests, justice sensitivity and staying true to herself

7:03 Love, compassion and caring for others

8:53 Healing through community and authenticity

9:33 What would Elle Woods do?

10:15 Grounding practice: From the soles of your feet to your soul

11:23 Final reflections and how to connect

LINKS

If you enjoyed this, check out:

Episode 62: Be your true Self. Your way

Episode 78: Too Sensitive? Too Much? Says Who? with Alice Tew & Carly Radford

Episode 94: Neuro-affirming Self Acceptance with Dr Emma Bede

Choose your own adventures: New adventures in the works include Inner Child Play, Stop Self Loathing, Move Past People Pleasing and Purpose, Meaning and Joy

https://solestosoul.ie/adventures/

Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads

#ellewoods

#legallyblonde2

#elle

#austism

#isellewoodsautistic

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Is Elle Woods autistic? Legally Blonde 2 is one of my all-time favourite films and I’ve been adoring the new prequel series Elle on Prime in Ireland.

While I’ve seen the films several times and I saw the musical in London, it’s only now watching Elle that I’m like, oh my god, is she autistic?

Might she be autistic?

Might that be why, even though we don’t have much in common, I’ve always adored the character so much.

What they’ve done is they’ve put her in the 90s, in high school, in the midst of grunge, moving from Bel-Air in California to Seattle.

It’s genius.

What do you think? Might she be autistic?

You’re listening to Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD with Eve Menezes Cunningham. I’m your host and each Tuesday or whenever you choose to watch or listen, you’ll get a new episode to help you learn how to love and care for all your parts from the soles of your feet to your soul.

You can visit solestosoul.ie, that’s s-o-l-e-s, as in the soles of the feet, to t-o and then soul, s-o-u-l.ie, forward slash podcast for older episodes, full transcripts, links, free resources, other ways in which we might work together, including becoming an adventurer for a whole array of online programmes for you to dive deep within yourself. Let me know if you have any questions and I hope you love episode 122.

I hope you love this episode.

Working with the FEEL. LOVE. HEAL. framework, again, for the FEEL. bit, I’m just noticing what I think. I’m no way qualified to diagnose fictional characters or anyone, but so much of what I’ve learned about my own autism and working with others, all the additional training and reading and listening and everything, the special interest it’s become over the last few years.

Some of the features that I feel might be signs that Elle Woods is autistic includes her feeling her big emotions, her really having big emotions and her allowing herself to feel it, to express them, to take to her bed, to eat chocolates and they move through her.

They then lead to action. And I’m realising that she’s a fictional character. I’m also realising that she is a woman with a lot of privilege in many different ways, thin privilege, beauty privilege, wealth privilege, white privilege, cis privilege, hetero privilege, intelligence privilege, beauty privilege, all sorts of ways in which her movement through the world is easier than many.

And her parents are very supportive of her. They don’t always understand her, but they haven’t apparently shamed her for having big emotions. So, it’s just a delight to see a woman, a young woman, a teenager in this case, on the screen, allowing herself to not suppress, to have a meltdown, to feel and then move on.

Because if we all let ourselves feel how we’re feeling, if we all design our lives to work with ourselves, to work with our big feelings, we too can move on rather than getting stuck, getting caught up in masking, getting exhausted.

And yeah, I just identified this as one of the many ways in which she might be autistic. Her questioning whether the mosh pit is sanitary, and she gets in in the end, but the sensory differences that she exhibits in many instances with no apology.

And again, this is, I think, why I love the character so much. She’s never excusing her difference. She loves pink, she commits to pink, she continues to remain true to herself.

And it’s that unapologetic being herself. She has that non-hierarchical approach when it comes to talking to people in positions of power. She talks to the principal as if he’s an equal.

She has the great pattern recognition when it comes to identifying the key they need. I’m hoping that I am not giving away spoilers. I think I’m doing this in a way where you’ll identify these when you get to that part if you haven’t already.

But what I’m saying will make no sense if you haven’t yet seen it, and it’s not going to ruin anything for you. Other special interests she has include fashion, the law, Judge Judy in Elle, Donna, her friend’s mother and her friend, the first friend she makes in Seattle.

Justice in Legally Blonde 2. She quit when she realised that her law firm didn’t share her care for something that was obviously wrong. And once she brought it to their attention, in this case, animal testing for cosmetics.

And it has a very silly premise in terms of her wanting to invite her dog’s mother to her wedding. But it’s also, if you think about it, yes, she’s a fictional character. She worked really hard for that law degree at Harvard.

She gets the job of her dreams. And then when she realises that there’s a lack of integrity, a lack of ethics, she quits. That’s no small feat.

She’s a stickler for the rules. She can’t bring herself to do a pie in the face. She seems to struggle a bit with social cues, but she wouldn’t call it social awkwardness because she has her friends in Bel Air.

She has her sorority in the film. She has enough love behind her. But you think about her going into the canteen or to the parties on the back foot and her ways of getting through that.

I’m just curious. Like I say, I’m not a psychiatrist. I’m not a psychologist.

But there are lots of ways in which she might be. As we move to the LOVE. part of the framework, her love for Bruiser. Bruiser’s a little puppy in Elle.

And she had an impassioned plea for him in Legally Blonde 2. And she is hoping to keep a hypothetical rat safe in Elle at a certain point. I won’t say any more to not give anything away. But she recognises that humans are the most evolved species in the room they’re in at the time. And she points out that as that more powerful species, the responsibility to care for the more vulnerable species. And it’s just gorgeous.

I mentioned her supportive parents, her sorority, helping her. And they don’t always understand her just sensitivity and her special interests. But she’s able to be herself. And she does seem to, I mean, anyone would have rejection sensitivity with some of the situations she’s in.

But she’s tough. And I think her recognition of herself as part of nature, no better or worse than a rat or a dog. And all of us connected, all of us having responsibility to care for each other.

That’s how I’m shoehorning this into the LOVE. section of the FEEL. LOVE. HEAL. framework for this episode. But really, it’s about her acceptance of herself, her love for herself and for others. But that support that she’s had means she’s able to offer that love and support to so many others.

And she is just an amazing friend and person to have in the other fictional characters’ lives. The HEAL. part, the turning what hurts your heart into action, she does this, we all need to co-regulate. We all heal in community.

And she’s very isolated at first. But she finds her footing in Seattle, like she did at Harvard Law School, by being herself, by being caring, by organising for Donna, for fun. And by recognising the importance of community and doing what’s right and even a bit of a haphazard community that she creates.

It’s a gorgeous seeming group. And I’m hoping that as you listen, as you watch, you’ll think about your own life, your own fish out of water situations.

And maybe if you love Legally Blonde and all things Legally Blonde as much as I do, you’ll ask yourself, what would Elle Woods do? And let her inspire you to be more of who you are and recognise going with the glimmers, pink fashion, it makes her so happy, it makes her empowered and powerful.

What is it for you? How can you be more true to yourself? What do you think? Is Elle Woods autistic?

Before you go, please take a moment to ground the episode by just pausing and scanning your parts, all your parts, from the soles of your feet to your soul. So you may want to keep your eyes open, you may want to close them, but planting your feet firmly on the ground, lengthening through the spine if that feels comfortable for you, letting yourself feel held by the chair or whatever it is you’re sitting or lying or standing on. And taking just a moment to scan your whole self, your whole body, your whole energy field and ask yourself what you’re going to do for yourself right now.

It might be as a result of listening to the episode, it might be something else, it might be a nap, it might be something to eat, it might be some kind of movement, but let yourself ground, let yourself get into the habit of connecting with your inner wisdom and notice what you need and give yourself what you need. Thanks for listening to this episode. If you haven’t already and would like to, please like, subscribe, comment, engage across the platforms, wherever you may be accessing this.

And you can also email me, eve at solestosoul.ie. Thank you for listening. I look forward to sharing more next week.

Happy Lughnasadh!

In Harvest Your Shame and Trauma this Lughnasadh: Episode 121 of the Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD Podcast, I (your host) Eve Menezes Cunningham invite you to experiment with a reframe of all you’ve survived. Rather than focusing on getting rid of what you can’t change, what if you harvested it instead?

Using the Celtic harvest festival of Lughnasadh as a lens, we explore how the hardest parts of our lives (trauma, undiagnosed AuDHD, the years spent just trying to survive) can become sources of strength, resourcefulness and even purpose.

Working with the FEEL. LOVE. HEAL. framework, I share some of my own late-diagnosis journey along with gentle prompts to help you:

· notice what you’ve already harvested

· reparent the parts of you that needed protection and more tenderness and

· turn what’s hurt your heart into support for yourself and others

And if harvesting feels too ambitious right now, that’s (obviously – there’s never any point in arguing with reality) fine too. Sometimes survival is the harvest.

Wishing you a wondrous Lughnasadh weekend with time to reflect on and celebrate how far you’ve come as well as contemplating the seeds you’re planting for future harvests.

le grá (with love),

Ev3

HASHTAGS

CHAPTERS

00:00 Happy Lughnasadh: Harvesting the shame from your trauma and AuDHD

01:42 What does it mean to harvest your experiences?

03:17 Turning pain into purpose

05:05 Journaling, self-reflection and connecting with your inner wisdom

06:05 Reparenting yourself and embracing post-traumatic growth

07:04 Turning what hurts your heart into action

08:37 Imagining a more healed version of yourself

10:41 What are you harvesting this Lughnasadh?

11:18 When survival is enough

12:15 A grounding practice before you go

LINKS

Lughnasadh https://solestosoul.ie/2019/08/01/happy-lughnasadh-what-are-you-harvesting/

Metta

https://solestosoul.ie/?s=metta

Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads

If you enjoyed this, check out:

Episode 73: Befriending your Traumatised and ADHD Inner Children

Episode 83: Community as self-care with Elizabeth Potts

Episode 94: Neuro-affirming Self Acceptance with Dr Emma Bede

Choose your own adventures: New adventures in the works including Inner Child Play, Stop Self Loathing, Move Past People Pleasing and Purpose, Meaning and Joy

https://solestosoul.ie/adventures/

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Happy Lughnasadh!

Have you ever considered harvesting your trauma and AuDHD, rather than trying to get rid of things that we can’t change?

Lughnasadh is where we appreciate the harvest and in today’s episode I will learn some ways to not only find freedom and release from some of the more painful things you might be going through, but strength as you harvest, as you recognise your strengths, your resourcefulness.

Welcome to episode 121 of the Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD with Eve Menezes Cunningham podcast. Thank you for being here.

This might be a tough idea and it may also be that it resonates and you might want to delve further yourself and you also consider working with a trusted loved one, therapist, coach or whoever feels right for you.

You’re listening to Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD. I’m your host Eve Menezes Cunningham and each Tuesday (or whenever you choose to listen or watch) you’ll get a new episode to help you learn to love and care for all your parts from the soles of your feet to your soul.

You can find older episodes, full transcripts, links, more free resources, ways in which we might work together including becoming an adventurer, a special price at the moment, at solestosoul.ie/podcast. So that’s solestosoul.ie/podcast.

As we work through the FEEL. LOVE. HEAL. framework for this episode, starting with FEEL. that self-care, the regulatory things that we can all do to help ourselves feel better when we have the bandwidth to do them.

It’s not always possible but thinking about regulating your nervous system, noticing how you feel at the thought of harvesting and release. If you think about some of the more challenging aspects of your trauma and AuDHD, like when you imagine recognising how coming this far has made you a stronger person and when I talk about AuDHD, it’s a disability, autism and ADHD. They are disabling.

They’re also not, in my opinion, disorders although technically they are categorised that way. Much of the disabling elements are to do with living in a very ableist society but that’s where we live. It can be really easy with trauma, with AuDHD to blame ourselves, to internalise that and think that there’s something wrong with us.

But if you were to imagine harvesting, if you were to imagine whether you’ve already done it in elements, which I’m sure you have and it might be a matter of identifying it, or whether you think you would like to, but how can you use your experience or how have you used your experience to support yourself?

For me, I recognise I adore my work so much and it was born out of feeling unable to function. I became a life coach because I didn’t know how to do life. I had wanted to be dead for much of my teens and even early 20s and part of my earlier childhood.

I had happiness as well. I have an enormous amount to be grateful for but I always felt wrong. I always felt broken.

When I became a trauma therapist and I began to heal my own trauma as well, that was a huge part of the puzzle but AuDHD has been the missing pieces for me.

Being able to harvest all the pain that I went through to help you, hopefully it’s helping you, and to help so many clients over the years and supervisees and groups and others, it brings me so much joy to think that my pain has been harvested and I know I worked hard to do that.

I trained endlessly in so many different areas and it takes a lot to build up a practice and I honour that but I’m really appreciative that I kind of had to walk the walk in order to do my own healing, in order to ultimately create, design a life that I adore and also this practice, this work, this podcast, all of it, the writing, all of it, I feel really lucky and if life had come easier to me I might actually be miserable doing something I hate because the misery factor hadn’t been enough to have me make enormous changes as I had to in my early 20s.

So think about for yourself, what have you already done to harvest it? Does the idea of harvesting your trauma and AuDHD even feel possible? Does the idea feel offensive? And you might want to do some journaling around it, you might want to do some embodied journaling around it where rather than writing, if writing isn’t for you, record yourself and watch it back and see what lights you up, see what drains you, you can tell by your posture, your tone of voice, all sorts of things that you might not pick up if you’re writing it. And you can do the same by recording audio, you will hear differences in your voice so you’re connecting with your inner wisdom. I do recommend you work with a trusted loved one or a therapist or coach if you need one but you can do a lot of this for yourself.

Me personally, for a lot of the early part of my journey it was all on my own because I didn’t trust people, I didn’t trust other people, so I felt I had to do it all myself. So I’m hoping these episodes help you support yourself. As we move to the LOVE. part of the framework, that supportive energy, that love archetype, that acceptance, just reminding yourself that you deserved protection, you deserved safety, you deserved love, you deserved ease, you deserved support and acceptance, you deserve accommodations, all these things that you deserved and you still deserve.

What tiny and larger steps can you take today to reparent the parts of you that weren’t protected, loved, safe, supported and accepted? How can you move towards that post-traumatic growth? How can you befriend your AuDHD brain even more than you have already or it may be early stages for you?

As we move into the HEAL. part of the framework, it’s about the turning what hurts your heart into action, that co-regulation, the collective care, the community care. So just thinking to yourself how has your experience enabled you to be more of a help to others? We can only take people as far as we’ve been ourselves, so that can be through lived experience, it can be through training and support, but ultimately what you’ve survived means you can go deeper with others than most people can or will.

Do you honour this in terms of your capacity to help others? How about how they’ve helped you and the help that you still offer and receive? Which communities are you able to lean into? Which communities, which groups, which organisations, which individuals? And it could be things you listen to, things you read, music, it could be an actual group of people, of friends or people with a similar special interest to you, support group, place of work, your local community where you live, your family.

There are so many different ways of finding community online, in person. And what are most supportive for you and where do you feel most able to offer support to others in a way that’s wholehearted rather than potentially depleting yourself? How have you already turned what hurts your heart into action and what else might you do? If you were to imagine a future, even more healed version of yourself, if you’re already doing pretty well, but it might be feeling a far away version of yourself. But if you imagine yourself feeling more whole beyond your wildest dreams, like really loving life, like I never believed I would get here.

It’s taken time, it’s taken a lot of meditation, all sorts of like kind of the yoga, all the things I do, all the body mind practices that helped me, the Metta has been enormously helpful. You can kind of search my website for other episodes and blog posts on those. But ultimately, it’s about knowing that you deserve to feel better, you deserve love, you deserve acceptance.

And you deserve wholeness, you deserve to harvest what you have sowed. And where people who haven’t been through what you’ve been through, it might look like they’re doing far better, climbing far higher. When you think about the pits of despair, you’ve already climbed out of, the challenges that you’ve had to overcome that other people haven’t even recognised as challenges for you.

It astonishes me when I work with clients, I often think to myself, I’m very late diagnosed, late 40s. And when I was 50 for the autism. But I always think if I’d known when I was at uni, but working with people who are at uni now, or more recently, or at work now, and such simple accommodations still not being offered.

And it just astonishes me that so many people’s lives could be made so much better. And you can take the strength you have already gained from learning to advocate for yourself, being forced to advocate for yourself, to continue in easier ways and also for others and to let them advocate for you as well.

So I’d love to know, first of all, how you’re enjoying this gorgeous Lughnasadh time of year, what you’re harvesting here and in other areas of your life?

What are you grateful for?

And how can you appreciate your own role in it as well as all the others, all the other factors involved as well?

What can help you connect with the Lughnasadh energy?

Let me know and let me know if you’ve got any questions, feel free to email [email protected]

And happy Lughnasadh.

And also, if this all feels too wildly ambitious, if you’re just trying to survive at the moment, and the idea of harvesting things and helping others feels way beyond your capacity, you don’t have to do anything, your survival is plenty, your healing is plenty. It’s just it can be helpful to think about how actually you’re building muscles that are pretty powerful. And if and when you choose to, and for many people, especially with that sense of hyper-empathy and justice sensitivity, it can be a real motivating factor in terms of taking better care of ourselves, the idea of then being able to help others.

But however you’re celebrating or whatever you’re doing to honour Lughnasadh, I hope that you will take some time to honour yourself as well.

Thank you for being here. Before you go, please take a moment to ground the episode by just pausing and scanning your parts, all your parts, from the soles of your feet to your soul.

So you may want to keep your eyes open, you may want to close them, but planting your feet firmly on the ground, lengthening through the spine if that feels comfortable for you, letting yourself feel held by the chair or whatever it is you’re sitting or lying or standing on, and taking just a moment to scan your whole self, your whole body, your whole energy field, and ask yourself what you’re going to do for yourself right now. It might be as a result of listening to the episode, it might be something else, it might be a nap, it might be something to eat, it might be some kind of movement, but let yourself ground, let yourself get into the habit of connecting with your inner wisdom and notice what you need and give yourself what you need. Thanks for listening to this episode.

If you haven’t already and would like to, please like, subscribe, comment, engage across the platforms wherever you may be accessing this, and you can also email me eve at solestosoul.ie. Thank you for listening, I look forward to sharing more next week.

There’s a huge correlation between trauma, AuDHD, joint issues and other chronic pain conditions.

I hope this new episode will help ease your pain by helping you find movement that works for YOU, your body and your brain.

le grá (with love),

Ev3

CHAPTERS

00:00 Introduction: Why movement matters

02:12 Meet Sarah Mottram and the Healthy Movement Programme

04:56 Finding joy in movement and everyday self-care

09:41 Making space, self-compassion and slowing down

14:22 Community care and supporting each other

17:31 Building connection through online and creative communities

19:06 What Sarah would tell her younger self

20:59 Grounding practice and final reflections

LINKS

Links for Sarah Mottram

https://www.instagram.com/the_movementworks/

https://www.facebook.com/move.themovementworks

https://www.themovementworks.co.uk/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarahmottram

If you enjoyed this, check out:

Episode 83: Community as self-care with Elizabeth Potts

Episode 87: Movement as Medicine with Gwen Williams

Episode 97: Movement and Meaning with John Wilson

Choose your own adventures: New adventures in the works including Inner Child Play, Stop Self Loathing, Move Past People Pleasing and Purpose, Meaning and Joy

https://solestosoul.ie/adventures/

Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads

#sarahmottram

#themovementworks

#audhdsupport

#traumarecovery

#painrelief

Do you ever feel like, even if you've been formally diagnosed with autism and ADHD, that you're somehow making it out to be worse than it actually is?

That you somehow, even though you waited for years and answered all the questions truthfully and all the forms and everything, that somehow you don't deserve your diagnosis?

You don't deserve potential support?

Episode 119 of Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD is a solo episode where I share some personal reflections (including my lived and professional experience) around caring for ourselves, our Selves and each other when the world seems inexplicably hostile to the idea of people denied a lifetime of support suddenly having potential access to that support.

Let me know what you think and what helps you own your diagnoses (even self-diagnoses).

le grá (with love),

Ev3

CHAPTERS

0:00 – Do I really deserve my autism and ADHD diagnosis?

2:50 – A new way to access support through Adventures

5:42 – Why increased diagnosis isn't the same as overdiagnosis

10:02 – Replacing self-doubt with self-compassion

13:02 – The FEEL. LOVE. HEAL. framework

14:41 – What rescue cats can teach us about accepting ourselves

17:25 – Finding the support your nervous system needs

19:08 – One small step you can take today

20:07 – Final grounding practice and reflection

LINKS

Kaelynn Partlow https://linktr.ee/kaelynn_vp

If you enjoyed this, check out:

Episode 44: Some of my own mental health journey

Episode 69: Will ADHD Meds Work for Me?

Episode 106: Su-Purr! Polyvagal Purrs evolution

Choose your own adventures: New adventures in the works including Inner Child Play, Stop Self Loathing, Move Past People Pleasing and Purpose, Meaning and Joy https://solestosoul.ie/adventures/

Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads

Welcome to ADHD Late Diagnosis and Writing with Flic Everett: Episode 118 of the Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD with Eve Menezes Cunningham Podcast

It was such a delight to interview journalist and novelist Flic Everett. I’ve been aware of her writing long before I even became a freelance journalist in 2004 but we’ve been online friends for a good while and was inspired by her move to Scotland when feeling scared about my own move to Ireland a few years later.

In Late ADHD Diagnosis and Writing with Flic Everette: Episode 118 of the Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD, Flic shares her love for pottering and decorating, charity shop treasures, reading, hot baths, walks in nature, yoga, why her Inner Teenager wouldn’t want her wisdom and advice and more.

Do you think your Inner Teenager would listen to you?

le grá (with love),

Ev3

LINKS

Flic Everett

https://www.instagram.com/f.l.everett_author/

https://www.facebook.com/p/FLEverett-61551319733773/

Available in bookshops and libraries everywhere, you can also buy Flic’s books using this affiliate link https://amzn.to/3SGGEnE

If you enjoyed this, check out:

Episode 32: Author and podcast host, Joanne Mallon

Episode 47: Create your dopamenu

Episode 83: Community as self-care with Elizabeth Potts

Choose your own adventures: New adventures in the works including Inner Child Play, Stop Self Loathing, Move Past People Pleasing and Purpose, Meaning and Joy

https://solestosoul.ie/adventures/

Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads

CHAPTERS

00:00 Introducing Flic Everett and finding your own version of self-care

03:30 From journalist to cosy crime novelist

09:32 Ideal self-care day of pottering, nature and simple pleasures

13:32 ADHD, creativity and the satisfaction of making things

15:46 Hot baths, thrillers and finding moments of calm

16:29 Nature, yoga and feeling part of something bigger

24:34 The importance of friendship and building community

31:06 Old friends, life lessons and being kinder to yourself

34:50 A grounding exercise to end the episode

#fliceverett

#fleverettbooks

#cosymurdermysteries

#readingasselfcare

#writingasselfcare

The feet are the most distal point from the brain, so anytime we’re working with the feet in yoga or giving yourself a massage, you’re kind of waking up the whole body, you’re treating your whole self. So just notice for yourself which of these things feel friendly to experiment with.

Welcome to episode 117 of Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD. Learn to love and care for all your parts from the soles of your feet to your soul. I’m Eve Menezes Cunningham and I’m your host and the producer and you can find out more, access older episodes, full transcripts, free resources, all sorts of things at solestosoul.ie. So that’s s-o-l-e-s-t-o-s-o-u-l.ie and there’ll be a link in the show notes.

In today’s episode, I’m talking about something I never thought I’d be talking about, feet.

When I rebranded at the beginning of this year, I’d been Feel Better Every Day for so long, selfcarecoaching.net, and Soles to Soul felt really appropriate because my approach is very grounded, it’s very embodied and it also works with the transpersonal and energy. So Soles to Soul, it kind of encompassed everything. And it also brought on a bit of a reckoning for me personally, where I’ve been awful to my own feet my entire life.

Now I understand more about sensory differences and AuDHD, I have more compassion for that, and I’ve actually been able to work with my feet, understanding that it’s harder for me than it might be for someone more neurotypical. Or other ADHDers, everyone has different sensory differences. But I remember as a teenager, my brother being like, chop them off already, because I used to moan about having feet so much.

But the learning to love and care for all our parts, from the soles of our feet to our souls meant I had to really connect with my own… It’s been HIDEOUS. And beyond heel-ing (geddit? Heel? Heal? Sorry not sorry).

I hope this episode will help you connect with your own feet and send them more love and care. Let me know how you’re getting on.

le grá (with love),

Ev3

CHAPTERS

00:00 Introduction and why feet matter

01:13 From hating my feet to heeling my relationship with them

03:51 Shock breakthrough in yoga class

10:03 FEEL.: caring for your feet and your nervous system

14:45 LOVE.: accepting and appreciating your feet

17:01 HEAL.: standing tall and supporting others

19:03 Younger you, foetal (feet-al) position and feeling safe

22:53 Grounding practice: from the soles of your feet to your soul

LINKS

Choose your own adventures: https://solestosoul.ie/adventures/

If you enjoyed this, check out:

Episode 51: Reconnect with the earth and your Self

Episode 73: Befriending your Traumatised and ADHD Inner Child

Episode 82: Love Yourself, Warts and All

Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads

I’ve done it again and got the dates mixed up so this one’s going out EARLY in order to give you the SUMMER SOLSTICE benefits for this (gloriously sunny here in the west of Ireland – I swam across the Shannon and back today in just my swimsuit. BEST SWIM EVER) weekend.

This episode offers ways of working with the solar plexus chakra and more to get that sunshiney, powerful and JOYFUL vibe even if everything feels stormy.

What helps YOU?

How might you make life easier for yourself?

As you reflect on your contributions to the world, both current, imaginary, past, ideal, also think about ways in which you can make things more easy, more effortless, how you can work with the seasonal energies, how you can work with nature.

le grá (with love),

Ev3

CHAPTERS

00:00 Summer solstice and the gift of ease

01:52 Feeling safe enough to shine

03:39 FEEL: Reflecting on your impact

06:59 Adventures programme update

09:57 LOVE: Radical acceptance

11:19 HEAL: Community and connection

13:51 Looking back, looking forward

Choose your own adventures: https://solestosoul.ie/adventures/

Episode 114: Sacred Ireland with Dr Karen Ward

If you enjoyed this, check out:

Episode 36: Self care for despair

Episode 63: ADHD, trauma and the Solstice

Episode 98: Self Care When Trauma Triggers are Everywhere

Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads

I recorded this before the racist mobs inflicted terror in Belfast. It’s even more important to look after yourself. And this may feel impossible when fascists are running amok.

The weekend I talk about in this new episode, less than two weeks ago (at time of writing this) was bookended by the fantabulous Panti Bliss’s If These Wigs Could Talk at Westport Pride and the parade then Dublin for the amazing Kimberlé Crenshaw, Backtalker. It went a long way towards healing the heartache I’d been feeling about racism in Ireland.

I’m facilitating a workshop for therapists, coaches, supervisors and other helping professionals, Sustainable Practice When the World is on Fire for onlinevents.co.uk on 22nd August and hope you’ll join me to support yourself and your communities in protecting your nervous system in order to live wholeheartedly and lovingly.

Something Panti Bliss said during her show has stuck with me: A quick nod to the “suspension of disbelief” around acting as if she was beautiful and the audience also acting as if she was beautiful.

She WAS and IS.

Beauty radiates from every pore when people let themselves shine (more on shining in ways that feel safe for your nervous system in next week’s Summer Solstice episode!)

Love truly is stronger than hate and the more you celebrate your whole self and connect with communities that help you do so, the better.

Can you imagine a world in which everyone was nurtured and supported in finding ways to express their uniqueness instead of being hurt for it?

As I say in the episode: if every child, if every adult had the support to flourish, to be celebrated, to their unique gifts, to be nurtured and finessed and the world’s problems could be solved and there’d be so much more joy and collaboration.

And I know I sound way too old to be so idealistic but this was how we were created, this is how we are wired: we are wired to thrive when we feel safe, welcome and loved and we know this now through modern neuroscience.

By not loving others, by not welcoming others, by making others unsafe, we are making ourselves unsafe, we are making ourselves less loved, less welcome.

We’re creating a hell on earth when there could be a heaven on earth.

If humanning feels too much at the moment, with everything that’s going on, give yourself permission to hang out under the duvet and regroup. 2026 is a LOT.

I still believe we can defy dystopia but it’s about continuingly checking in with yourself to identify whether you need self-care, Self care or community care.

Sending love to everyone everywhere.

le grá (with love),

Ev3

LINKS

Panti Bliss https://www.instagram.com/pantibliss

Kimberlé Crenshaw https://www.instagram.com/kimberlecrenshaw

Related episodes

If you enjoyed this, check out:

Episode 80: Own your privilege, change the world

Episode 83: Community as self care with Elizabeth Potts

Episode 84: Be kinder to your extra-sensitive nervous system

Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads

CHAPTERS

0:00 An unforgettable weekend and finding joy in difficult times

2:54 Mayo Pride and feeling inoculated against despair

6:17 Dancing, celebration and the healing power of joy

9:37 Speaking up, community and restoring faith in people

13:30 Kimberlé Crenshaw, hope and responsibility

15:44 The FEEL. LOVE. HEAL. framework in action

20:10 Self-acceptance, love and personal transformation

25:14 Pride, belonging and celebrating who you are

26:29 Community, connection and turning pain into action

29:07 Reflection: finding sources of joy

HASHTAGS

#belfast

#pride

#intersectionality

#kimberlécrenshaw

#pantibliss