Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD with Eve Menezes Cunningham

It was SUCH a delight to speak to the fantabulous Dr Karen Ward again for this episode. She’s moved from Dublin to Cork and reminds us that we have everything we need within us. Yes, she’s now immersed in magical, Sacred Ireland (I love that oracle deck she created as well as her Brigid deck) but even in the midst of a city, you can connect with nature and the Divine.

I hope you enjoy listening (or watching) as much as I enjoyed catching up with her!

le grá (with love),

Ev3

CHAPTERS

(00:00) Sacred places, liminal spaces and belonging

(02:46) Karen’s journey into holistic and shamanic work

(08:17) FEEL. LOVE. HEAL. and creating a nourishing life

(10:13) Nature, place and the healing power of the sea

(15:32) Community, work and what truly regulates us

(20:51) Finding grounding and connection wherever you are

(24:34) Community care, Moon Mná and being held

(27:57) Advice for a younger self and trusting life

(30:46) Growth, healing and always learning

LINKS

Moon Mná

https://moonmna.ie/

Slí An Chroí

https://www.slianchroi.ie/

Dr Karen Ward https://drkarenwardtherapist.ie/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drkarenwardtherapist/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drkarenward

If you enjoyed this, check out:

Episode 20: Dr Karen Ward on energy work and Sacred Ireland

Episode 43: Honouring Brigid and the Divine within you

Episode 96: Sensory Soothers for Trauma and AuDHD this Brigid

Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads

In Healing Sexual Trauma with Erika Shershun: Episode 113 of the Soles to Soul Care with Eve Menezes Cunningham podcast, I’m delighted to introduce the somatic psychotherapist who specialises in helping trauma survivors reclaim the life they were meant to live.

When you think about what YOU’ve survived, how does it feel to imagine, however outlandish it may feel, that you CAN heal? When you read or hear those words about the life you were meant to live, how does it feel to reconnect with potentially forgotten dreams and goals?

le grá (with love),

Ev3

Erika’s the author of the Healing Sexual Trauma Guided Journal: Writing and Somatic Practices to Help You Process, Heal, and Feel Safe, the Healing Sexual Trauma Workbook: Somatic Skills to Help You Feel Safe in Your Body, Create Boundaries & Live with Resilience, and the PESI Sexual Trauma Clinical Training. The workbook is available in Spanish (Tengo Un Trauma Corporal?), Polish, Russian, and Romanian, and the journal is available in Turkish.

Her approach is trauma informed, rooted in somatic principles, drawing on neuroscience and integrative modalities such as EMDR, Brainspotting, energy psychology, mindfulness, self-compassion and parts work.

Erika values diversity, offers individual online therapy sessions in California, and provides coaching to clients outside of the state. You can contact her at HealingSexualTrauma.com, ErikaShershunTherapy.com, or follow her @erikashershun.

Sexual Trauma Clinical Training: Interventions to Cultivate Safety, Release Shame and Guilt, and Nurture Boundaries is available at PESI.com

HealingSexualTrauma.com

ErikaShershunTherapy.com

@erikashershun

https://www.instagram.com/erikashershun/

LINKS

Erika Shershun

https://erikashershuntherapy.com/

https://feltsenseresonance.com

Donna Eden’s five-minute energy tune-up

Bradley Nelson emotion code

https://discoverhealing.com/gb/the-emotion-code

Louise Swartswalter Mind Gems:

www.brainsoulsuccess.com

If you enjoyed this, check out:

Episode 48: Cattitude: Purr! Hiss! Freeze!

Episode 64: Trauma not ‘post’ traumatic stress but ongoing?

Episode 55: EFT Tap Along for Stress Awareness Month

Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads

CHAPTERS

(00:00) Healing, growth and advice for a younger self

(02:22) Erika’s books and journey into trauma work

(07:55) Discovering somatic healing after years of therapy

(13:02) Post-traumatic growth and self-care

(16:36) Grounding practices and toe tapping

(26:06) Self-compassion, spirituality and healing tools

(35:22) Self-agency, choice and nervous system healing

(39:02) Co-regulation, connection and cats

(42:04) Hope, healing and final reflections

I met Claudia Cahalane nearly 20 years ago on an online forum for freelance journalists. I had started my coaching and complementary therapy practice at the same time as going freelance as a journalist with no contacts and, pre social media, it was a brilliant forum to get (and give) encouragement and support.

Since then, I’ve added loads more therapies, counselling and supervision and Claudia has retrained as a Qi Gong instructor.

It was such a joy to reconnect and catch up and I hope you find our conversation helpful.

You can watch or listen wherever you get your podcasts and access full transcript, show notes, links and more at https://solestosoul.ie/2026/05/26/communitea-and-qi-gong-with-claudia-cahalane-episode-112-of-soles-to-soul-care-for-trauma-and-audhd-with-eve-menezes-cunningham/

When you think about your own communiTEAs (geddit?), where do you want to put in more energy and time? Who’s most important to you? What’s most important to you?

le grá (with love),

Ev3

#traumarecovery

#qigong

#claudiacahalane

#teaceremony

#solestosoulcarefortraumaandaudhd

LINKS

Claudia’s website:

https://vitalityqigong.org/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vitalityqigong/

If you enjoyed this, check out:

Episode 83: Community as Self Care (with Elizabeth Potts)

Episode 87: Movement as Medicine with Gwen Williams

Episode 59: Meditation (with trauma and ADHD) isn’t impossible

Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads

CHAPTERS

(0:00) Introduction

(1:57) Welcoming Claudia Cahalane

(2:48) Silent retreats and early experiences

(7:24) Discovering Qi Gong and the power of silence

(10:29) Burnout and becoming a Qi Gong teacher

(14:37) The Feel. Love. Heal. framework

(16:18) Ideal self-care and daily practices

(21:26) Essential self-care for low energy

(22:59) Self-love, meditation and tea rituals

(25:44) Tea ceremony and cultural roots

(30:00) Community, loss and life transitions

(35:19) Rethinking friendships and belonging

(40:06) Nature as community and connection

(42:44) Creating and holding community

(44:35) Advice to a younger self

(46:05) Where to find Claudia and closing reflection

FIND OUT MORE ABOUT EV3RYTHING - email [email protected]

It’s an utter delight to share my interview with the fantabulous Zeenat Ahmed-Peto for this week’s episode. The cognitive hypnotherapist and author (Too Kind: A Survival Guide for Sensitive Souls) shares her journey to extreme self-care.

I met Zeenat through Suzy Walker (see links for her interview and gorgeous Heartleap community) and hope you are as inspired by her story about learning to receive care and love as I’ve been.

le grá (with love),

Ev3

CHAPTERS

(0:00) Burnout and learning to care for yourself

(2:23) Introduction and welcome to episode 111

(2:34) Meet Zeenat Ahmed-Peto

(3:40) Zeenat’s work and background in hypnotherapy

(5:18) Too Kind: A Survival Guide for Sensitive Souls

(6:13) Personal healing journey and chronic illness

(9:21) Feel: Ideal and essential self-care

(11:32) Sleep, stretching and walking as essentials

(14:07) Love: Learning to rest and receive care

(18:20) Heal: Community, connection and belonging

(21:17) Message to a Younger You

(23:18) Closing reflection and body scan

LINKS

Website:

https://zeenatahmedpeto.com/

Substack:

The Authentic Connection

I'm Zeenat, a cognitive hypnotherapist & teacher. I love running communities to empower as many people as I can. Expect increased self-love, connection and joy through personal development & community. 🌟

By Zeenat Ahmed-Peto

Heart Leap:

Heart Leap

Building a simple, happy, creative life that makes your heart leap. Join our Heart Leap writing community

By Suzy Walker

Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads

RELATED EPISODES

If you enjoyed this, check out:

Suzy Walker on meditation and more: Episode 14 of The Feel Better Every Day Podcast https://solestosoul.ie/podcast-feed/former-psychologies-editor-suzy-walker-talks-big-leaps-heart-leaps-meditation-and-more-as-she-shares-her-ideal-and-actual-self-and-self-care-practices/

Gill Fennings on taking things slow: Episode 15 of The Feel Better Every Day Podcast

Sarupa Shah on the art of doing nothing: Episode 6 of The Feel Better Every Day Podcast

Too Sensitive? Too Much? Says Who? Episode 78 of the Feel Better Every Day Podcast

HASHTAGS

#zeenatahmedpeto

#sensitivesouls

#sensorydifferences

#audhd

#solestosoulcarefortraumaandaudhd

It was so lovely to revisit my London Bridge psychosynthesis training roots and talk to the delightful Allan Frater for Episode 110 of Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD with Eve Menezes Cunningham.

He shares some of the ways in which he honours his imagination and integrates self-care, Self care and community care into his whole life.

LINKS

Buy Allan’s latest book here https://amzn.to/4d5XSmk (affiliate link)

Website:

https://wildimagination.uk/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Allan-Frater/100073610989149/

The Psychosynthesis Trust:

https://psychosynthesistrust.org.uk/

Related episodes

If you enjoyed this, check out:

Shake, Cry and Let Go with Emily Rosenkranz: Episode 104 of Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD

Community as Self Care (with Elizabeth Potts): Episode 83 of the Feel Better Every Day Podcast

Own Your Privilege, Change the World: Episode 80 of the Feel Better Every Day Podcast

Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads

CHAPTERS

(0:00) You are important, valuable and worthy

(1:53) Introduction and welcome to episode 110

(2:02) Meet Allan Frater and their shared training history

(3:46) Allan’s new book and imagination in therapy

(5:48) Waking Dreams and being imaginative

(7:30) Feel: principles of self-care and embodiment

(10:54) Attention and protecting focus in modern life

(13:11) Love: connection through relationships

(17:00) Heal: community, differences and polarisation

(22:13) Responding to world events and collective context

(25:18) Message to a younger self

(28:48) Closing reflection and body scan

HASHTAGS

#allanfrater

#imagination

#psychosynthesis

Am feeling a bit morto – two mistakes with this episode:

The Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD normally goes out Tuesday morning 7am Irish time but because I just realised (AuDHD brain), next week’s ep – this one – is OUT NOW so you can actually make USE of it in 2026!!!

Self-compassion, giving myself grace, a thousand DOH!s etc…

Still, I hope you enjoy it as we welcome the start of summer. As I write this, I have washing drying outside, have cycled into town and back and am feeling the seasonal shift which I’m looking forward to honouring more in the coming days – and with the Full Moon this Friday too.

Let me know how you get on with these simple ideas for celebrating and see you in nearly two weeks now!

le grá (with love),

Eve

LINKS

Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices at https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads

Bhangra Joy with Aakriti Kaushik: Episode 108 of the Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD Podcast

Related episodes

If you enjoyed this, check out:

Love your inner Smelly Cat this Bealtaine and beyond Episode 56 of The Feel Better Every Day Podcast

More Joy, Less Angst: Trauma-Informed Yoga for AuDHD Episode 93 of the Feel Better Every Day Podcast

Shake, Cry and Let Go with Emily Rosenkranz: Episode 104 of Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD

Own Your Privilege, Change the World: Episode 80 of the Feel Better Every Day Podcast

CHAPTERS

0:00 Bealtaine and choosing love in challenging times

1:05 Podcast intro and self-care for trauma and AuDHD

2:39 Feel: Let it all out

3:49 From pain to joy: Using joy as your GPS

5:26 Why joy matters for stress and resilience

6:41 Love: Connecting with your highest Self

7:47 Heal: Community, co-regulation and connection

8:57 Practising mudita and celebrating others

10:09 Bealtaine tradition: Flowers, blessings and neighbours

12:17 Choosing joy as an act of care and resistance

13:08 Closing reflections: Feel. Love. Heal.

HASHTAGS

#bealtaine

#mayday

#mudita

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Happy Bealtaine, happy May Day. That’s going to be this Friday with the Full Moon, and I thought I’d do a special episode to celebrate the Celtic festival of love, lust and fertility.

And I really want to focus on ways in which you can help yourself fall in love with yourself, fall in love with your life, fall more in love with your loved ones and fall in love with the world.

We’re living through very challenging times, and if we tell ourselves that the world is going to hell in a handbasket, then it’s really depressing and it disempowers us and we forget about all the amazing people in the world, under insanely horrific conditions, who are still attempting to do the right thing and caring for others and creating good works and being forces for love and joy and peace.

Read the full transcript at https://solestosoul.ie/blog

At time of writing, am aching in the best possible way from the first of Aakriti’s regular Bhangra dance classes at Grit Fitness and Dance – if you’re local enough to Westport, check them out. I’m planning to be there as many Wednesday evenings as possible because SO MUCH JOY!

And, to my astonishment, while feeling like a monster during one of the moves last night, I did improve. I’d loved the taster workshop in February (before this interview was recorded) but had no confidence in my ability to actually manage the (simple!) steps but… I have some hope now (and even if I don’t, it’s a great workout and So Much FUN).

Dance is so good for trauma and AuDHD. And the bilateral movement in some of the steps, while feeling tangled up in my brain, is, I know, contributing to healthy neuroplasticity as well as fitness. And did I mention the joy?

The fact that I’m learning an Indian dance style in my new home country (over 7 years since I immigrated here now!), Ireland and being Indian Irish definitely contributes to the joy but Bhangra is a joyful Punjabi dance form from the north of India, associated with feasts and celebrations of harvest.

The expansive, heart opening upper body movement as well as the gorgeously grounding lower body movements … am still beaming writing this.

I hope you love listening to my interview with Aakriti as much as I loved talking to her. She is such a great teacher, modifying it for those of us who were struggling as well as a superstar there at the front who was managing the more advanced steps with seeming ease.

So Much Fun.

Do you dance?

What style?

What advice do you have for beginners?

Let me know in the comments or by email.

le grá (with love),

Eve

CHAPTERS

(0:00) How dance connects us to emotion and something deeper

(0:25) Introducing Aakriti and the joy of Bhangra

(1:50) Movement as pleasure rather than something we have to do

(4:04) Meeting Aakriti and finding connection through community

(5:12) From engineering to meditation and Bhangra

(9:31) Why dance evokes emotion and joy

(11:46) Self-care practices shaped through challenge

(16:06) Letting go of perfection and adapting your routine

(18:39) The one essential practice: meditation

(23:16) Interconnection, purpose and supporting others

(27:01) Starting small with meditation and building consistency

(32:35) You are already worthy just as you are

(34:10) Closing reflection and invitation to care for yourself

LINKS

Aakriti Kaushik: https://www.instagram.com/bhangra_westport/

https://solestosoul.ie/book

Episode 107 is a really unusual episode of the Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD because my guests for this one are Peadar and Danny, a couple of very young entrepreneurs from Atlantic Valets. Not technically self-care professionals and yet, when I met them recently, something they said made me realise they’d be delightful guests and they were.

I love their energy, enthusiasm and desire to help their customers. If you’re in or near Achill, check out Atlantic Valets and wherever you’re based, I hope this episode reminds you that you deserve clean, organised and welcoming environments. It can especially challenging to create and maintain them with ADHD but supports do exists.

What helps you keep your car clean (enough)?

le grá (with love),

Eve

LINKS

Atlantic Valets

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/61587721393866

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/atlanticvaletsanddetailing

Jayne Leonard on cooking as self care: Episode 28 of The Feel Better Every Day Podcast

The book https://solestosoul.ie/book

Book your free telephone consultation and access 100s of body-mind practices https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads

CHAPTERS

(0:00) The gap between wanting to care for ourselves and finding it hard

(0:30) Atlantic Valets’ Danny and Peadar and their approach to car valeting

(4:21) Making car cleaning feel more doable for ADHDers, one step at a time

(6:26) Finding a simple system to support focus and reduce overwhelm

(8:13) The power of small details and taking pride in what we do

(9:57) Everyday self-care and coming back to the present moment

(15:41) Connecting with love through dogs, family and close relationships

(17:34) Feeling held by community and giving back

(20:08) Gentle advice to a younger version of ourselves

(21:28) A moment to reflect and offer yourself care

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Many people listening, they will have AuDHD or ADHD and there’s the gulf between basic self-care in terms of what we would like to be doing for ourselves and what is more of a challenge. So I will ask you a little bit about that, like how might listeners make it easier for themselves to clean their own cars?

Welcome to episode 107 of the Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD podcast. I thought they were so adorable when I met them at a local networking event.

I wanted them to come on and help all my ADHDers to clean your car, know that you deserve a delicious car to drive around in.

They are Danny and Peadar from Atlantic Valets and they are so new to business and they’re doing so much amazing work so quickly. I’ve been going for like over nearly 22 years now and they are so on message and just so joyful and delightful.

I hope that they’ll inspire you to keep your environments clean, to outsource it where that’s an act of self-care for yourself. They’re based in Achill but wherever you are you might have similar and I really hope you enjoy this very unusual episode.

Read the full transcript and access free downloads and more at https://solestosoul.ie/2026/04/21/cleaning-your-care-with-adhd-episode-107-of-the-soles-to-soul-care-for-trauma-and-audhd-with-eve-menezes-cunningham-podcast/

Have you ever wondered how we’ll ever have peace, freedom, justice, SAFETY and equality when half the population has been systematically erased from what most people in this society consider divine?

Since hearing from much younger women that the Divine Feminine – such a healing force in my own trauma recovery and life these last 30+ years – has been co-opted to be used against women as “Divine femininity”, this episode shares some self-care, Self care and collective care ideas for people of ALL genders to experiment with.

There are SO many Goddess archetypes, from around the world, that have helped me with my trauma recovery and for the graphics for this episode, I chose (to honour my Indian Irish roots):

With all that’s going on in the world, it’s always worth remembering that none of us choose or do anything to deserve who we happen to be born to, wear, what gender, etc etc etc.

We’re all connected. And by connecting to the Divinity (as well as humanity!) in ourselves and others, we can hopefully find more compassion and give ourselves and others more grace.

Le grá (with love),

Eve

If you’re a trauma survivor and AuDHDer like me, or you simply find self-care more of a “should” than a joy, this podcast is for you.

I’m Eve Menezes Cunningham, a trauma therapist, AuDHD and self-care coach, senior accredited supervisor, columnist and author of 365 Ways to Feel Better: Self-Care Ideas for Embodied Wellbeing.

Each Tuesday I share a mix of solo episodes and conversations with other self-care professionals. From other therapists, coaches, yoga teachers and authors to neuroscientists and medical professionals, many of them neurodivergent themselves and all honest enough to share the gap between their own ideal and their ACTUAL self-care.

Find Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD with Eve Menezes Cunningham every Tuesday on Spotify, Apple, YouTube, Substack, and wherever you get your podcasts.

Learn to love and care for all your parts, from the soles of your feet to your soul.

And for bonus content, polyvagal-informed journal prompts and more, sign up for my free newsletter, Míle Buíochas Mondays, plus 100s of free body mind practices, at solestosoul.ie

LINKS

https://www.livescience.com/health/fertility-pregnancy-birth/the-choice-of-sperm-is-entirely-up-to-the-egg-so-why-does-the-myth-of-racing-sperm-persist

Free Downloads https://solestosoul.ie/free-downloads

Polyvagal Purrs https://solestosoul.ie/feline

Meggan Watterson https://www.instagram.com/megganwatterson/

Jean Shinoda Bolen

https://www.jeanbolen.com/

Sally Kempton

https://www.sallykempton.com/

Moon Mná

https://moonmna.ie/

Laura Dowling

https://lauradowlingofficial.com/

Dr Karen Ward

https://drkarenwardtherapist.ie/

Clodgah O’Connor

http://clodaghoconnor.com/

Chapters

0:00 Systemic oppression and the red thread

0:42 Podcast introduction and rebrand

1:44 Introducing the Divine Feminine

2:56 How Divine Femininity has been hijacked

4:53 Reclaiming balance and receptive energy

5:42 Personal journey with the Divine Feminine

7:33 Erasure of women in spiritual history

8:25 The red thread and reconnecting inward

9:42 Polyvagal theory and empowerment

10:06 Feel. Love. Heal. framework overview

10:36 Feel: exploring your relationship with the Divine Feminine

13:00 Love: healing, acceptance and reclaiming power

15:20 Heal: connection, circles and co-regulation

16:33 Closing reflection and inner connection

FULL TRANSCRIPT

To recognise that it is systemic oppression, I got a little thread, a little red thread tattoo a few weeks ago after I had gum surgery and found out I couldn’t swim for an extra week or so, so it’s just my little reminder about that thread that connects us back thousands and thousands of years and that divine love is within all of us, all our genders, like whatever gender we are and that women, we just need to go inward

Hi, you’re listening to Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD. Learn to love and care for all your parts, including your trauma and AuDHD, from the soles of your feet to your soul. So this was previously the Feel Better Every Day Podcast.

I hope you’re enjoying exploring the rebranded site solestosoul.ie, accessing all the free resources at www.solestosoul.ie/free-downloads - finding out how you might work with me.

I’m Eve Menezes-Cunningham, I’m your host, I’m a columnist, author, podcast host and producer. I’m a trauma therapist, trauma survivor, AuDHD-er and AuDHD coach and self-care coach, where I integrate all of my offerings from psychosynthesis counselling to crystal therapy, including NLP, EFT, integrative counselling and coaching.

I’m forgetting something quite major, life coaching. Let me know if you’ve got any questions and as you listen to today’s episode, I hope that you’ll connect with how you’re feeling.

We’re working with Divine Feminine, not Divine Femininity. I recently became aware from some younger women that the Divine Feminine, which I’ve been working with for decades, and increasingly more and more of us are, after thousands and thousands of years of patriarchy and being left out. I was apparently, when I was a small child, when we moved from London to Essex, I asked the priest when I was four, why were there no women priests? And I think because my name is Eve, I took the Bible very to heart. I was raised Catholic and the recognition that women and minorities were systematically erased, that Christianity, Christ consciousness was all about equality and love for all and peace and the way it’s been so hijacked.

But that’s not what this is about. Divine Femininity has been hijacked. I came across fairly recently, the idea of the egg and the cosmic egg as Meggan Watterson talks about.

And the idea is that it’s this ultimate, kind of in her beautiful card, the Divine Feminine Oracle. The cosmic egg made me think of something I heard through Kate Northrup. So her mother, Christiane Northrup, Dr. Christiane Northrup, did amazing work around wisdom of menopause a long, long time ago, decades ago.

And she, Oprah helped her popularise it. Unfortunately, she’s gone quite conspiracy theorist. But one thing that I really remember loving what I heard, we grow up in this patriarchal society, sex education, it’s very much the sperm, the strongest and impregnates and all of that.

Whereas apparently, the egg chooses the sperm. And that was my alarm. I’ve got a client in a few minutes.

I’m going to just start this again when I have more time. No, I’m not. It’s all good.

So it’s very much the language we grew up in with this white supremacist patriarchal society is all about the man, all about the sperm, all about the like the strongest sperm, like impregnates, like kind of fertilises the egg, whereas apparently, the egg chooses the sperm.

[There’s a link in the show notes about how this keeps being discovered by scientists, forgotten and rediscovered – much like the Divine Feminine]

So where I heard about how Divine Femininity, femininity was being used against women, the idea of being very passive, being very receptive in a way of being very submissive, like we all have masculine energy, we all have feminine energy. And the more imbalanced we are, the more we’re using all of it, the more joyful and lovely our lives are.

But if it’s being used against people but at the same time, many women, myself included, have to work on recreating that more receptive egg energy, where we’re able to receive good things where we’re able to not be do.

Like for a long time, it was like women can be everything that men can be. And it’s that women end up then typically doing all the things we can step back, we can just be. My introduction to working with the Divine Feminine really helped saved my life in my 20s, my early 20s.

So initially reading people like Jean Shinoda Bolen, Goddesses in Everywoman, where she talked about the Greek goddess archetypes. And then Awakening Shakti, Sally Kempton, I was kind of reconnecting with my Indian heritage. I’m Indian Irish, born in London, sound English, look white.

But it was lovely learning more about I’m looking up at my bookshelf there. And in case you can see, that’s not a very good way to show you. But that was really gorgeous learning more about the Indian goddesses and moving to Ireland.

I did my Moon Mná Women’s Celtic Circle facilitator training with Dr. Karen Ward, which was a gorgeous way of getting to know sacred islands and the Irish goddesses when I moved here. And you can find out more about her work at moonmna.ie. And there’s loads now around Megan Watterson’s work is phenomenal. And she is a feminist theologian and reading her listening to her.

I also had very visceral reactions as a small child feeling excluded and feeling like how on earth will we ever have safety, let alone equality for women and girls when women are left out of worship, where there has to be representation. We know representation matters in all areas. And Meggan Watterson has gorgeous books, her own journey, in Revealed, where she talks about her own journey with religion, spirituality.

She has the deck I just showed you, the Divine Feminine Oracle Card. It’s one of my all-time favourite Oracle Card decks. She has Mary Magdalene Revealed, where she looks at how the Gospels, what’s known as the Gnostic Gospels, so Mary Magdalene, the Acts of Paul and Thecla, Philip, Thomas, the more progressive, they were actually erased from the King James Bible.

They were erased before that, in the fourth century, when Christianity went from being a religion that was persecuted because it was so about radical love and it became the state religion. So it’s a bit of a blow. And also, it’s wonderful to recognise that it is systemic oppression.

I got a little thread, a little red thread tattoo, a few weeks ago after I had gum surgery and found out I couldn’t swim for an extra week or so. So it’s just my little reminder about that thread that connects us back thousands and thousands of years and that divine love is within all of us, all our genders, like whatever gender we are and that women, we just need to go inward.

I’m hoping that with this episode, it will encourage you to connect with the Divine Feminine in an empowering way for yourself, to learn to receive, to learn to just be and making yourself safe enough, like doing the work with your nervous system to heal things that might have kept you hypervigilant.

And knowing that the safer and more connected we can be, the easier everything gets, the more we’re co-creating a wonderful life, a wonderful world. We need to be empowered. I like working with polyvagal-informed approaches. Where I use the cats, the Polyvagal Purrs approach I developed, helping us feel that safety, that connection and that abundance and that capacity to build longer tables to feed people rather than walls to keep them out.

When you think about the Feel. Love. Heal. framework, if you’re familiar with this podcast and my work, my column for Platinum, I use that framework and often with my clients, but feel, it’s basically a way of working with whatever bandwidth you have for self-care, uppercase Self care, that like kind of highest, wisest, truest, wildest, most joyful, brilliant and miraculous part of yourself. And collective care, that co-regulation, we heal in connection. So for the feel part of the framework, notice how you feel at the thought of Divine Femininity, maybe journal around it.

Divine Femininity or Divine Feminine, what feels more relevant for you? What feels and if you’re a man or if you’re non-binary, what does the Divine Feminine evoke for you? And what might you do to heal your relationship with the Divine Feminine? What might you do today? I love sometimes going up to the local village, Aughagower, where I live and seeing a real-life ancient Síle Na Gig, and I have a little Síle Na Gig here where they’re around Scotland and Ireland and other parts of the world, but it’s like Laura Dowling has that gorgeous book, Love Your Vulva, but it is that rather than a lifetime or lifetimes of shame and hiding, it is that, yep, that openness, that safety. And there’s a Síle Na Gig near St Patrick’s Well in Aughagower and I sometimes like to just go and remind myself that in spite of all the other more organised religions, which have been helpful for some people and also really painful for many, many people and it’s not to take away from any comfort people get from organised religion, but to recognise that there is more to all of it and to do your research and connect with, I mean, it could be connecting with the women who were eradicated from yoga philosophy and history, all sorts of ways. Think about, like, I’m realising that had I organised this better, I could have done this for International Women’s Day, it won’t be out in time, but every day, the more we connect, the more we remember that just like men, just like everyone, we are part of the Divine and we can find that within us and it takes some work. I highly recommend Dr Karen Ward’s work, but also really, if you want a lot of history, she’s phenomenal, Dr Meggan Watterson.

Moving to the Love part of the framework, that acceptance, that support, that recognition of the wounding, “the witch wound”, potentially, the way in which women’s power has been so penalised and, like, cost lives over the thousands of years, any kind of difference, it can be really scary.

Really doing what you can to make yourself feel safe, to accept your power, to accept your vulnerability, to accept your whole self, and working with goddess archetypes, like, goddess, it used to be a not very familiar word, and then it got, like, so many things commodified and to market things, like, I’m thinking, I think there was a Venus razor for shaving your legs, because, of course, a normal Bic razor wouldn’t do.

And the more you actually connect with, the more you research the goddess archetypes, from your traditions, from where you are in the world, your heritage, where you’re drawn to, where you’re appreciative of, not in a cultural appropriation sort of way, but just to educate yourself, just to learn more and more, and connect, rebalance those stories for yourself and know you are part of the divine. We are all made of stardust. It’s not about being better than men in any way, shape or form.

It’s not about inequality. It’s not about, like, a matriarchy isn’t the answer to the patriarchy. It is about equality.

But finding within yourself that love, that acceptance for how your life would have been different and probably much, much better, growing up in a more equal world, where the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine were appreciated, honoured, cultivated and just being open to what comes up for you, in terms of what you might do to do that for yourself.

Moving then to the Heal part of the framework and thinking about how you might connect with others. So, you might want to, now I run monthly lunar circles. I’ve moved them to the Full Moon, rather than the Waning Half Moon. But there’s actually, I’ve not met her yet, but I’ve seen her Instagram, Clodagh O’Connor. She is a high priestess, Temple of Remembrance in Mayo, County Mayo. Check out Moon Mná facilitators near you! And check out people near you. Check out people online. Check out people you’re drawn to.

I’m not saying in any way, shape or form to give your power away. I’m talking about finding sisters, finding people you feel safe and connected to and who you can heal with because we heal by co-regulating. And the safer we are, the more welcome we are, the more loved we are, the more we can all thrive and the more we can all birth a world in which everyone feels safe, welcome, loved and able to thrive.

Thank you for listening. I’m your host and producer, Eve Menezes Cunningham. You can find links and the full transcript and more in the show notes via solestosoul.ie/podcast, and I’m looking forward to sharing more next week.

In the meantime, just scan your whole self, all your parts from the soles of your feet to your soul right now and notice any parts like what you’re feeling, like the most prominent physical feeling, the most prominent emotion, whatever is speaking to you. It might be a thought, it might be an image, but make some notes for yourself. Remember, you don’t need anyone else.

You know what’s best for yourself. Connect with that inner knowing, connect with your inner divinity, make space and time for that stillness, for that wisdom, for that knowing and let me know if it feels good how you’re getting on. I look forward to sharing more.

I look forward to hearing from you, and thanks again for listening.

As you think about this episode, I want you to imagine scanning your whole body, your whole energy field from the soles of your feet to your souls. Notice what has come up for you as you’ve listened and as you think about it now.

How might you show yourself some extra love, some extra care today, this week?

Make some notes, doodle, whatever feels good. And if it feels comfortable and you want to, email eve at solestosoul.ie or comment in any of the comment areas. Feel free to subscribe, rate, review, all the things. And thank you for listening. I’m your host and producer, Eve Menezes Cunningham. Find full links in the show notes and full transcript and let me know if you have any questions. Really looking forward to joining you again next week. Have a brilliant week.

Today’s episode builds on Episode 48: Cattitude: Purr! Hiss! Freeze! and the Polyvagal Purrs approach I developed years ago to include MORE of the Divine. More of what inspires awe, love, hope and other transpersonal – beyond the person – qualities. Nature? (Cats are part of nature and so are you!) Great art? What helps you connect with suPURR (super ventral) energy?

How can you do more of these things on purpose?

If you’re a trauma survivor and AuDHDer like me, or you simply find self-care more of a ‘should’ than a joy, this podcast is for you.

I’m Eve Menezes Cunningham, a trauma therapist, AuDHD and self-care coach, senior accredited supervisor, columnist and author of 365 Ways to Feel Better: Self-Care Ideas for Embodied Wellbeing.

Each Tuesday I share a mix of solo episodes and conversations with other self-care professionals. From other therapists, coaches, yoga teachers and authors to neuroscientists and medical professionals, many of them neurodivergent themselves and all honest enough to share the gap between their own ideal and their ACTUAL self-care.

Find Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD with Eve Menezes Cunningham every Tuesday on Spotify, Apple, YouTube, Substack, and wherever you get your podcasts.

Learn to love and care for all your parts, from the soles of your feet to your soul.

And for bonus content, polyvagal-informed journal prompts and more, sign up for my free newsletter, Míle Buíochas Mondays, at solestosoul.ie

LINKS

Deb Dana

https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/

Stephen Porges

https://www.stephenporges.com/

365 Ways to Feel Better: Self-care Ideas for Embodied Wellbeing https://solestosoul.ie/book

Cattitude: Purr! Hiss! Freeze! Episode 48 of Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD with Eve Menezes Cunningham watch

CHAPTERS

0:00 Not about spiritual bypassing

1:07 Podcast introduction and rebrand

1:28 Background with polyvagal theory

2:18 Introducing a fourth state

2:59 Purr! ventral vagal safety and connection

3:25 Hiss! sympathetic survival stress response

3:58 Freeze! dorsal vagal shutdown

4:26 Naming and understanding nervous system states

5:22 Introducing suPURR (super ventral)

6:01 Feel: self-care practices to access suPURR

8:07 Love: connecting with your inner self

9:43 Heal: collective care and co-regulation

10:53 Awe, DHEA and reducing stress

11:39 Focusing on hope and positive stories

12:29 Closing and reflection prompt

HASTHAGS

#polyvagalpurrs

#newpodcastepisode

#traumainformed

#yourepartofthedivine

#evemenezescunningham

FULL TRANSCRIPT

It’s not about spiritual bypassing, very much not. If you take the example of yoga, if you have a yoga practice or any kind of psycho-spiritual practice, I’m always struck, because I’m a yoga therapist as well, watching people when I’m teaching, doing it myself. I know that I can be going through an emotional rollercoaster and look very serene.

I also know that feeling all the feelings, allowing what’s coming up for to come up is so, so powerful. This is not about pretending super, awe, pride, joy, all the things, love. It’s about really connecting with all your parts and knowing that there’s so much more to you than all of the angst, everything you’ve survived, everything you’re worried about, challenges you might be facing, being able to connect with that more than, but also recognising the reality, recognising what is.

You’re listening to Soles to Soul Care for Trauma and AuDHD with Eve Menezes Cunningham. It used to be the Feel Better Every Day Podcast and I’m still getting used to the rebrand after so long. Here’s little Meadbh and it feels appropriate for today’s episode where I’m introducing a fourth state.

I’ve been working with Polyvagal Theory since I learned about it in 2011. From 2013, when I adopted Rainbow Magnificat, I started using her to help me with my own inner critic, with my own healing of my nervous system and trauma recovery. Then as the other cats came into the picture, I learned more and more, did more and more training, got more and more experience, saw just how effective all these ways of working are with clients.

I’ve been presenting on it. I’ve written about it in journals. I love being paid to find pictures of the rescue cats to illustrate quite a heavy theory.

It really does help people understand it better. More recently, I’ve added a fourth. Deb Dana, who made polyvagal theory so much more accessible, it’s Stephen Porges’ baby and she made it more accessible to clinicians.

She does phenomenal work. She talks about super ventral. For ventral vagal, I call it Purr! because in an ideal world, we have that feeling of safety and connection.

We’re like a cat at ease, able to purr, enjoy life. We’re curious. We’re happy.

It’s safe to connect. Life feels good. It’s all purry.

That doesn’t mean cats aren’t able to change their state, just as we do. We’re not in ventral vagal or what I call Purr! the whole time, but the more we can have that curiosity, that compassion, whatever’s going on around us, whatever’s going on inside us, the better for our overall wellbeing.

Hiss! is what I call the sympathetic survival response, that stress response. When we feel under threat, when we feel disconnected from people, when we act out, we might fight, we might flee. These are all adaptive survival responses. Nothing wrong with it, but in an ideal world, if we can’t even find compassion for ourselves, Deb Dana says even one drop of curiosity is all we need and beginning to think what might help you, might get you back into that Purr! That ventral vagal.

Then we have the dorsal vagal, what I call Freeze! Where the system is overwhelmed and we’re in collapse. We might be numbing. We might be dissociating.

We might be indulging in habits that enable us to numb, but it’s feeling hopeless. It’s feeling overwhelmed. It’s not a happy, joyful place to be by any stretch.

I go into all of these stages, all of these states in episode 48. So if you want to listen to that, but just for yourself, just getting a sense of, I encourage people to find their own names for them. It’s just Purr! Hiss! Freeze! helps because it is easier to remember for most people than ventral vagal, sympathetic survival and dorsal vagal.

The key is remembering your nervous system is never wrong. Your nervous system has kept you alive. It’s kept you safe. It’s helped you deal with whatever you’ve had to survive. They’re all adaptive survival responses. Someone who has grown up knowing that it’s safe to connect with others is an advantage.

It’s like I heard some person say growing up with parents with regulated nervous systems is like growing up with millionaires for parents. And it kind of is, but at the same time, whatever age you are, wherever you are, we can begin to heal it.

Today, I want to introduce what I’m calling suPURR

That’s su, then PURR. And it’s for Deb Dana’s super ventral. And it’s where we bring in the more than the person, the more than the spiritual, the transpersonal and the thinking of the kinds of things you can do to make it more likely that you’ll be able to connect with this amazing energy, which of course helps us be more in ventral vagal, more in that Purr!

For the Feel part of the framework, that’s the like lowercase s self-care, the regulatory things we can do, think about things you can physically do when you have the bandwidth to bring you into suPURR or super ventral. So it might be taking yourself to the beach or to the ocean or to a mountain or to a forest or some kind of nature that feeds your soul, that helps you feel.

It might be taking yourself down the driveway to watch a sunset or sunrise. It might be taking yourself to a gallery to view some art that touches your soul. It might be taking yourself to a concert or whatever it is, think about the kind of things that help you get beyond Purr!

It might take more energy and the more you can do, the more you can connect with this, the more you can fill your environment with things that promote you remembering. Nature is wonderful for so many people, but it’s not limited to nature.

It can be, I’m going back at time of recording, I’m planning my first trip back to London in, it will be two years. And the idea of seeing some of the architecture, some of the arts, obviously people, loved ones will be amazing. But whatever brings you or whatever inspires you, whatever helps you connect with that, WOW, I can’t believe maybe you did something incredible, or it might be like a seventh wonder of the world, or it might be an amazing piece of art by someone else. Or it might be thinking about an incredible feat that someone has survived or endured, or like a new creation.

Think about what helps you connect with that suPURR beyond energy when you have the bandwidth to do that regulatory self-care. When it comes to the love part of the framework, the Feel. Love. Heal. framework I developed, let yourself just be. Remind yourself that you don’t have to go outward at all.

You can go inward. You can connect with the divinity within yourself, just as cats don’t need reminders of their divinity, of their magnificence. You have that within you.

You don’t need to change a thing. You don’t need to be striving, or doing, or producing, or anything. You can just be and marvel at your body, for example.

Even if you’re not happy with your body, your poor body has probably been through so much criticism because we live in a world where so much judgement is placed on these bodies that carry our souls through our entire lives. But if you think about what’s going on, we’re talking about nervous system regulation, we’re talking about healing the nervous system. You think about all the automated processes that we don’t even have to think about, all the amazing miracles happening in your body every day.

Just accepting how incredible it is to be alive and even now in these challenging times, let yourself appreciate it. Moving to the Heal part, that collective care, so the Love part is the acceptance, the love, the support. The Heal part is more collective care.

The Love part is that connection with that Self, that uppercase S. The part of you that is like much more than the spirit, the highest Self, that highest, wisest, truest, most joyful, brilliant, miraculous part of yourself. So the Love part is really just what helps you connect with yourself. How can you make that a bigger part of your life? And then the Heal part is the collective care, the co-regulation.

It might be that joining a Circle. I do monthly, I’m moving it from the waning Half Moon to the Full Moon, but every month a small Circle, which is really enriching my life and I’m getting lovely feedback from the participants. There might be something similar near you.

It could be joining some sort of group that enjoys going to galleries, or going on walks in nature, or creating music of your own, or anything like that. Just give yourself permission to think what gets you into that suPURR stage and know that awe is one of the positive emotions, that when we feel it, we’re creating DHEA. I wrote about it in the book, but DHEA is a natural performance enhancing hormone and feeling good, feeling that sense of awe, that incredible love and pride, hope, all these really positive emotions.

They help us reduce the impact of stress on the system, because when we’re creating DHEA, it makes it impossible to create cortisol for a few hours and it also just feels amazing. So the more you can do, like we’re living in very challenging times, for me one of the things that helps is really focusing not on the destruction and the horror and just the things that very quickly send me into dorsal vagal Freeze! but instead really seeking out feeds and stories of activists and amazing people, who are incredible and just fill my heart and just give me hope and they are beyond, like it’s awful what people are having to survive and endure, but by focusing on the amazing people, doing amazing things and recognising that the majority of people do mean well and let me know what works for you. So thank you for listening.

I’m your host and producer, Eve Menezes Cunningham. You can find links, full transcripts, more information in the show notes at solestosoul.ie and I’m looking forward to sharing more next week.

We’ll be looking at the Divine Feminine and what it means to me and before you go now, think about suPURR, or that super ventral and scan your body, your energy, your thoughts, your emotions, your soul, your spirit, just scan yourself from the soles of your feet to your soul and just make some notes about some of the things that might be calling to you.

Spend a few minutes journaling if you want to, or just make a few notes, or pick one prominent feeling. I’d love if you want to let me know what that is for you, how you’re going to connect with that suPURR energy this week and moving forward, you can email eve at solestosoul.ie, so that’s s-o-l-e-s, as in the soles of your feet, to soul, as in your soul and .ie for Ireland. Looking forward to sharing more next week.

As you think about this episode, imagine scanning your whole body, your whole energy field from the soles of your feet to your souls. Notice what has come up for you as you’ve listened and as you think about it now.

How might you show yourself some extra love, some extra care today, this week?

Make some notes, doodle, whatever feels good. And if it feels comfortable and you want to, email eve at solestosoul.ie or comment in any of the comment areas. Feel free to subscribe, rate, review, all the things. And thank you for listening. I’m your host and producer, Eve Menezes Cunningham. Find full links in the show notes and full transcript and let me know if you have any questions. Really looking forward to joining you again next week. Have a brilliant week.