A week before this conversation, my mom graduated from this plane.
She left her body with peace and with ease at 94 years old, after a long life of loving fiercely and generously.
And as divine timing would have it, I already had a conversation scheduled with someone who has spent the last decade helping individuals and families navigate death and meaningful goodbyes.
In this deeply personal episode of Solving for Joy, I’m joined by death care specialist and death doula Madison Kuebler for a conversation about grief, death, ritual, and what it means to be held through loss.
I share some of my own experience of my mom’s final years and the sacredness I felt in her passing, including the eight hours my wife and I spent sitting with her body, the rituals that helped us say goodbye, and why this particular loss has felt, at least for now, more sacred than sad.
Madison shares what a decade working in death care has taught her about grief, presence, trauma-informed care, meaningful goodbyes, and the possibility of a “good death.” We talk about why grief is much more of a scribble than a line, the unexpected places joy and laughter can appear after loss, and why there is no single right way to grieve or remember someone we love.
We also explore the relationship between death and birth, the importance of ritual, alternatives to traditional burial and cremation including human composting, and the ways our choices around death can reflect who we are and what we value.
Because perhaps being willing to look at death doesn’t diminish the joy of being alive.
Maybe it reminds us just how precious it is.
And maybe, if we are very lucky, a life spent loving can leave us becoming more and more love.
In This Episode
- What a decade in death care has taught Madison about grief and being present with families
- Why death is not always tragedy and what can make a death feel peaceful or “good”
- Grief as something nonlinear, personal, and allowed to include peace, joy, laughter, and even absurdity
- The sacred experience of spending time with a loved one’s body after death
- How ritual can help us create meaningful, deeply personal goodbyes
- Human composting, green death care, and having more choices for what happens to our bodies
- What being close to death can teach us about gratitude, presence, and being alive
Chapters
00:00 Grief, Joy, and a Different Kind of Conversation
01:20 Meet Madison Kuebler: A Decade in Death Care
03:01 How Madison Found Her Way to Funeral Service
06:52 Presence, Trauma-Informed Care, and the Small Things That Matter
09:11 Chrissie Shares the Story of Her Mom’s Final Years
15:00 Permission to Let Go and Becoming Love
16:37 When Grief Feels More Sacred Than Sad
19:26 A Good Death and the Connection Between Birth and Dying
20:33 Sitting With the Body: The Sacredness of a Final Goodbye
25:32 4:44 and a Final “Love, Love, Love”
26:18 Human Composting and Returning Our Bodies to the Earth
30:22 Creating New Ways to Remember the People We Love
32:19 The Emotional Reality of Working in Death Care
35:01 What Makes a Goodbye Meaningful?
37:38 Finding Joy in the Business of Death
41:38 Gratitude, Legacy, and What Remains
About Madison Kuebler
Madison Kuebler is a funeral director, death doula, and theatre artist based in Denver, Colorado. With 10 years of experience in the funeral industry, she helps individuals and families navigate death and create meaningful goodbyes. Outside of death care, Madison directs plays and creates soundscapes for local theatre companies and is passionate about telling stories for and by the LGBTQIA+ community. She recently received a Colorado Henry Award for Excellence in Theatre.
Connect with Madison Kuebler
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/madison-kuebler-819b4bb5
Learn More About Human Composting
Earth Funeral: https://earthfuneral.com/
About Dr. Chrissie Ott
Dr. Chrissie Ott is a multi-board certified integrative physician, Professional Certified Coach (PCC), speaker, and founder of Joy Point Solutions. Through Solving for Joy, she explores the science and practice of living with greater meaning, alignment, and delight. Her work helps physicians and other high-achieving humans reconnect with themselves so they can build lives that feel deeply authentic, purposeful, and joyful.
Stay Connected with Chrissie
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chrissieottmd
Podcast: https://www.solvingforjoy.com
Website: www.joypointsolutions.com
For Physician Coaches & Healthcare Leaders
Physician Coaching Collective: https://www.physiciancoachingcollective.com
Physician Coaching Summit: https://www.thephysiciancoachingsummit.com
This episode explores grief and joy, death and dying, good deaths, death care, funeral planning, death doulas, meaningful goodbyes, grief rituals, human composting, green burial alternatives, trauma-informed death care, end-of-life conversations, nonlinear grief, memorial rituals, loss, legacy, and finding meaning and joy after the death of a loved one.
