Somebody Save Me: The Official, but MOSTLY Unofficial, Smallville Podcast

The Return of Senile Sam & Lucy Goosey

After a sex-filled weekend for the new couple, the Lane family drops in on the Kent farm for an early Thanksgiving dinner. Lois is freaking out, but Clark isn't worried until Sam announces he's fighting to push for the new Vigilante Registration Act. Rick Flag returns in order to use Lucy to get to her father, which she happily does because she lowkey hates her family. Oliver keeps treating Tess as the villain until it's time for boo-boos and happy hour.

Ted Whittall (Suicide Squad, Wicker Park) is officially confirmed as DC Comics' original character Rick Flag.

Michael Ironside (Starship Troopers, Total Recall) returns for his final appearance as DC Comics' original character Sam Lane.

Peyton List (The Flash, The Greatest Game Ever Played) returns for her final appearance as DC Comics' original character Lucy Lane.

Elias Toufexis (Blood of Zeus) makes his first and only appearance as DC Comics' original character Emil LaSalle, a.k.a. Warp.

Leave those FIVE STARS for the 5-Star General Sam Lane!!!

Escape, Pt. II / Wrong Turn 3.5: The Flat Tire

Lois and Clark take a little couples getaway, but instead find themselves taken hostage by a blue Kryptonite cult disguised as a normal amish-type of town. The town's leader, Joseph, is determined to fulfill their annual ritual by using Lois as a sacrifice because she refused to eat their dinner. Meanwhile, the Alexander clone is aging rapidly (shout out to Emily and Evan!) into the Lex we all remember. Tess is determined to find a cure since she is running out of money to throw weekly birthday parties.

As always, enjoy the show and LEAVE THOSE FIVE STARS!

What took you so long?

Lois gets possessed by an Egyptian goddess named Isis, real classic Smallville plot line, who is needing to resurrect her husband Osiris. Nope, it's not Black Adam like it should be but who cares? Not us, that's for sure. Oliver starts acting a little more douchey, so Tess calls him out on it. Clark respects that and wants to be bros with Tess. Clark decides to finally come out of the closet to Lois.

The last ten minutes of this episode is a pure masterpiece <3

As always, enjoy the show and leave those FIVE STARS!

IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON FROM THE PAST.

Smallville's 200th episode, a high school reunion, "A Clark-mas Carol", and a barn dance scene. What more could you want?

Lois wants to cheer up Clark by bringing him back to high school so she can feel popular. Brainiac comes back from the 31st Century to teach Clark a few lessons while being sexier than ever. Oliver compares himself to J.F.K. when dealing with the repercussions of taking his hero identity public.

James Marsters returns to make his first and final appearance as DC Comics original character Brainiac/Brainiac 5.

Greg Donella makes a surprise return, and final appearance, as season one villain Greg Arkin, a.k.a. Bug-Boy.

As always, enjoy the show and LEAVE THOSE FIVE STARS!

The Return of Kara Zor-El and BDSM

Darkness has now invaded Metropolis, with hero-bashing radio host Gordon Godfrey being its first [perverted] victim. Kara makes a very public and over-the-top return as a new superhero, and tells Clark he's a terrible son that's been disowned by Jor-El. Lois goes undercover to expose Godfrey's dark side (wink-wink). Oliver, still depressed over Chloe's absence, wrestles with a very big decision (no, not hookers).

Laura Vandervoort returns as DC Comics original character Kara Zor-El, a.k.a. Supergirl.

Michael Daingerfield (Sausage Party, Dreamcatcher) makes his first appearance as DC Comics original character Gordon Godfrey.

As always, enjoy the show and LEAVE THOSE FIVE STARS!

YOUR DRAW.

Since Lois chose Africa over love, Clark has to deal with his new partner at the Daily Planet: Cat Grant. Too bad they have to deal with a country-loving assassin. Carter Hall checks in on Lois as a favor to Clark, but makes a move?! Chloe is missing and it's driving Oliver CRAZY...horny. Tess is somehow better as Clark's sidekick than his villain.

Keri Lynn Pratt (Drive Me Crazy) makes her first appearance as DC Comics original character Cat Grant.

Michael Shanks (Stargate, Saving Hope) returns as DC Comics original character Carter Hall, a.k.a. Hawkman.

Bradley Stryker (Untamed, Magazine Dreams) makes his first appearance as DC Comics original character Deadshot.

Jessica Parker Kennedy (Black Sails, The Flash) returns as DC Comics original character Bette San Souci, a.k.a. Plastique.

As always, enjoy the show and LEAVE THOSE FIVE STARS!

NEW YEAR. NEW SEASON. SAME IDIOTS.

Clark has a near-death experience after his fight with Zod, and guess what? Jor-El wishes he actually died. Lois is wondering if Clark is better than Africa. Tess gets the worst Two-Face origin story. Lex has a bunch of clones. Some random guy is torturing Oliver. Yo, wait, is that Jon Kent? Daddy?

As always, enjoy the show and LEAVE THOSE FIVE STARS!

The South Boston Mall sucks.

We cap off our Friday Film streak with a terrible Christmas TV movie starring the WONDERFUL Laura Vandervoort, a.k.a. Kara Zor-El. Hop on this sleigh ride to get your sexy Santa at your local shopping mall.

As always, enjoy the show and LEAVE THOSE FIVE STARS!

HEY BUDDY, EYES UP HERE!

In celebration of crossing over 200 episodes, we give you our very own Two Nerdy Idiots review of James Gunn's Superman. Another reason is that Taylor is really wanting to avoid starting season ten LOL.

A huge thank you to our Emmy award-winner, JR a.k.a. OG Peace, for returning to make this special event a reality. An even BIGGER thank you to all of our fans for all the continued support, love/hate and amazing jokes these last four years. This one is for you!

You can also find this video on our YouTube channel, or you can click HERE (if the hyperlink works, hehe).

As always, enjoy the show and LEAVE THOSE FIVE STARS!

FIIIILLLMMMM FRIDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Thought you were getting Smallville? Yeah right. It's time to give Erica Durance some screen time! Please join us in the best review of this terrible sequel and laugh with us on its downfall. Is it good? No. Is it bad? Absolutely. Are we having fun? OHH YESSSSS.

As always, enjoy the show and LEAVE THOSE FIVE STARS!