Somebody Wrote This

So much is wrong, once again, in yet another implausibly dysfunctional family. Kelly and Lexi struggle to figure out just how inappropriate the relationships are in the first instalment of VC Andrews' series on the Catseel family, Heaven. Sexy kids, cloakroom shenanigans, fradulent ceramicists, hamster mutilation - you know, the usual. Stop making us read these.

We were supposed to be on a break, but Lifetime made us do it. Kelly and Lexi emerge from rehab to join those kooky Dollangagers for more incest, more donuts and less charisma in Lifetimes Petals on the Wind. Listen as we have difficulty remembering a movie we just watched. We just can't seem to shake VC Andrews here at Somebody Wrote This...

Kelly and Lexi wonder how these dumb cavemen managed to invent everything while doing nothing over 550 pages and 3 years. Neanderthal slurs, fur fruit rollups, domesticated lions, and portable crones - nothing can save this second installment of Jean M. Auel's Earth's Children (Clan of the Cave Bear) series from podcast infamy. Do not read this book - listen to us instead.

Just in time for Valentine's Day, enjoy/despise this tale of leather rooms, serial killer supplies and the classic British novel, plus helicopters. It's the book everyone pretends they didn't read, E.L. James' Fifty Shades of Grey. Christian and Anastasia defy the rules of English and basic human logic for 500 pages and we (almost) all went along for the ride. We'd be sorry if we thought for one second you hadn't read it already.

Kelly and Lexi watched Lifetime's actually a little bit good Flowers in the Attic movie and talked to Lexi's phone about it. Listen as Bart is lamented (again) and they struggle to remember the book's ending because of wine holes. Oh and the twins are still annoying.

Join Kelly, Lexi, Rachel and Lori back in Scotland with double the booze and half the memories. Kelly even comes up with a theme song for Diana Gabaldon's Outlander. Some of us have read it too much, some of us haven't read it at all, but all of us talk over each other anyway.

Kelly, Lexi and Lori commiserate about this baffling medieval romp that manages to slander the dead and fluster the living. Bagpipe outrage + wine = regret. Happy winter holidays and possible year change.

Kelly, Lexi and Rachel discuss the wonder of YA inappropriateness that is Flowers in the Attic by VC Andrews. Bonus if you like people that sound sick, people that say "like" a lot, people that talk over each other and Bart. Happy Halloween?

We introduce ourselves and banter stiffly for about 3 minutes. Our first selection, V.C. Andrews’ Flowers in the Attic, is announced. The world trembles.