Something Witchy: A Sabrina the Teenage Witch Rewatch

Welcome to the Passion Pit! (cue intense guitar solo)

We had some audio gremlins that delayed our next Sabrina episode, so in the meantime you get a return to the Passion Pit where we recap Season 1 Episode 2 of Passions! We got no answers and a million more questions, such as: What would you do if your friend was convinced they saw a ghost girl? Who would you be if you couldn't remember from age 0-20? Is it the Estonians or the Australians that hate the cranes? Why does Luis hate the Cranes so much?

The Princess Diana/Sheridan Crane plotline continues to get more uncomfortable, rivaling Teresa's obsession with Ethan as most cringeworthy part of the show. The salvation of this episode is that we FINALLY meet Tabitha and the doll that will become Timmy.

Enjoy this short break and we will be back next week with more Sabrina!

It's time to discuss Season 4 Episode 7 "Prelude to a Kiss" and we're halfway through the series! Although this episode really could have been prevented if Josh had ever watched an episode of Wishbone. Instead, he's decided to rely on a high school student to help him keep his grades up for a critical scholarship. Sure. Sabrina is faced with the choice of helping a college student (who should definitely know how to study by now) and supporting her boyfriend of MANY YEARS at a very important football game. Even after talking it over with some pirates who give great advice, she still makes the wrong choice and must face the consequences.

And, yes, the pirates are back! Zelda and Hilda reluctantly hire them as housekeepers but they're still rough around the edges. They continue to try to rehabilitate the pirates, with some help from B. Smith. Also, Salem tries out Tae-Bo and Dreama has a legitimate magic problem that Sabrina does nothing to help. 

Skye and Laura discuss scurvy at length and accidentally blame former president Andrew Johnson for things Andrew Jackson actually did. We discuss Harvey and Sabrina's relationship this season and the intricacies of where the "cheating" line is for high school romance. Plus, learn more about dirty soda!

It's Halloween season, both in Sabrina and the real world! We're kicking off October with Season 4 Episode 6 "Episode LXXXI: The Phantom Menace." Sabrina gets a job at the coffeeshop and her boss leaves her alone on only her second (!) day to work Halloween night. Unfortunately, you can't escape Halloween when you're a witch, and soon coffee-fueled sewer zombies have filled the local college hangout.

Meanwhile, Zelda and Hilda are chasing that spooky feeling and bring Poe back through the "lost-in-time" clock (even though we zapped in people from the past literally 3 episodes ago). It seems that Poe has turned over a new, motivational leaf, however.

Skye and Laura find out this podcast is actually about children's ancient math and fake scratch cards. They also discuss favorite scary stories and how they feel about the addition of Josh. Plus, weigh in on your favorite sucker brand!

In Season 4 Episode 5, Sabrina has get-itis and Laura and Skye are grossed out. Sabrina goes on a journey of learning to value the things that truly matter in life, even though the ending is a little clunky. But first, she ends up cursing half of Westbrook with magical objects and the alien theory gets a little more real. Meanwhile, Salem gets a pet dog-man and Hilda beefs with Ms. Quick. 

In the real world, Other Realm economics have well and truly broken us and we give advice on what precious metals you should invest in (do not take our advice). Plus we get a history lesson on Hurricane Mitch and maybe the worst accent impression of all time from Skye. 

Who's ready to talk about generational trauma? It's Season 4 Episode 4 and suddenly nothing makes sense because the aunts are adopted, they're 620 years old, and they have pictures of themselves as children on a farm sometime in the 1900s. Don't worry - we make things worse by talking about our own family traumas. At least we get Salem dressed up in a cute bellhop outfit.

Join us in this episode as we wonder at Sabrina's complete lack of emotional intelligence, discuss Harvey's terrible parents, and once again ask questions about Hollywood's most famous capuchins. 

WE'VE REACHED EPISODE 100!

Thank you for listening to us for the last 100 episodes of this podcast. Here's to 100 more! (Or however many it takes us to finish the series.) Also, make sure to follow us on social media to see our celebration with Costco cake! But don't be jealous of our longevity or you might develop "jealitosis" like Sabrina in Season 4 Epsiode 3 "Jealousy." (How was that for a segue?)

Sabrina gets jealous of Harvey and Brad's friendship while she is depressed over losing her apparently only friend, Valerie (never mind that we just spent an entire episode establishing Dreama). Meanwhile, Zelda gets a little jealous over Hilda hitting it off with Mr. Kraft's brother, aka the anti-Kraft. And we're still over here questioning why Zelda is with such a scrub. Nick Bakay's influence is also apparent in this episode filled with sports writing jokes, which we love even if we don't always understand them. 

This episode has everything: inquisitions, Babylon 5, Boris Yeltsin, space operas, Pulp Fiction, and more! Plus, this week's burning question: WHERE IS THE DESK CAULDRON?

It's time for Sabrina to make a new friend in Season 4 Episode 2 "Dream a Little Dreama Me." Sabrina finds out she has to mentor the walking disaster that is Dreama, raising questions about why her parents would send a that magical-accident-waiting-to-happen to the mortal realm. Hilda randomly decides to blow up her violin and buy a clock shop despite there being no indications in the previous three seasons that this is something her character would be interested in. Lastly, we find out there's a real reason to hate Brad which Skye actually guessed pre-watch! The gang fixes some time-traveling hijinks which may give us something to blame the aunts' fluctuating ages on. Would this episode have been better with more Salem in it? Maybe, but it definitely couldn't have been worse.

WE'RE BACK AND IT'S TIME FOR SEASON 4!

We're starting off not as strong as we would have hoped. Libby and Valerie are both gone and we're not sure which absence is worse. We do get the addition of a new friend for Harvey with Brad but...is that really the kind of friend we've been hoping for? There's also a new intro sequence and really it's just a lot of changes. One thing never changes though, and that's Sabrina's attempts to run away from her problems and take the easy way out. Plus we spy on people through a television for at least the third time in this series.

In our personal lives, Skye might have a worm, we discuss our fantasy for a private concert, and compare Children of the Corn and Look Who's Talking. The biggest lesson of this episode? We don't trust Melvin the dog.

We've been threatening to do it for so long and it's finally here. A "Passions" recap episode! Skye watches an entire soap opera episode on purpose for the first time ever and Laura delights in the crazy storylines she had forgotten. All soap operas are a little unhinged but Passions takes it up to an 11 right from the start, with hints at dark family secrets, an unhealthy parasocial obsession, a little ghost/angel girl, and the wildest Princess Diana plot line. Enjoy the last of our summer break episodes as we got out on a high!

We're sexy! We're cute! We're popular to boot! We're taking a break but this episode's not fake! We're podcasters! We are podcasters!

After she left Sabrina, Lindsay Sloane gave us one of the most recognizable performances of the new millennium: Big Red in Bring It On. Joined by special guest, Emily Ronquillo, we discuss this iconic film (that somehow Laura never saw) and what it meant to a generation of teenagers...and how we wish it was even gayer. Where were all of the adults in this? Why is the brother even there? Why would they name a teen heartthrob CLIFF of all things? Is this whole movie actually just satire? You won't want to miss out on this special episode.