What do you get when you combine 3 minutes on the worst kinds of sneezes, Arizona death penalties, and Van Damme spinoffs? You get the latest episode of West and Sparks! Ryan is leaking like a White House source and Sparks tries to tell you what he’d like to be lethally injected with! This one is a bit of a roller coaster ride, so strap in and listen to episode 138 of West and Sparks!

Show Notes:

News That Matters:

* Big Weed

* Bring your own drugs

Comments First:

* He sure NAILED IT

* annnnnnnnd this is why aliens still havent made contact….

* Wwatermelone haha

Guess What’s Up My Rectum:

Cruising on down to a place in India land, can’t wait to get there because the pressure I can’t stand. Squishing and pushing all up on my gland. Stashing the goods in more than the luggage in my hand. Going through their TSA, even my b-hole is getting scanned. A man pulls me aside, no emotion, his face all bland. Almost 4.5 pounds found on me as they radio higher command. Gold bars I had manned. Caught smuggling in about 88 ________

 

I am trying to not eat this entire bag of Oreos. I now know what Lindsay Lohan feels like during happy hour

— Sparks (@SparksRadio) January 16, 2017

Back on twitter! This is the hardest app for me to stay active on! Anyone else have this problem?

— Ryan West (@RyanWestt) January 2, 2017

Thanks to Our Sponsors!

Come on, ya’ll! It’s a brand new episode of West and Sparks! This week we discuss the big game, Judy Garland’s SECRETS of a lost time, car flatulence, tiny hands, and chickens that are good for more than just eating! You’ve heard of killing time? Well, this episode straight up kills MINDS! Hit it!

Show Notes:

News That Matters:

* RIPPING ASS!

* Tiny Hands To Yourself

Comments First:

* My cock can play the piano too

* More American than Liberals at this point

Bored at work? Have a long road trip ahead of you? Need something to mask your heavy breathing on the treadmill? This episode is perfect for you!! We’re talking PETA’s pet peeve, party babies, and ancient butt stones! It’s all in episode 136 of West and Sparks! Listen now!

Show Notes:

News That Matters:

* Make Space Vikings Great Again!

* Stone age

Comments First:

* up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, start…Water level unlocked

* It took me halfway through the video to realize this wasn’t real.

* I poop with my phone

Guess What’s Up My Rectum:

Evil spirits are abound. Dug up a tomb and this was found. Ancient toys but not just treasure. Stuck up there for more than pleasure. Spirits leak when bodies decay. In a king’s ass is where I lay. Some with rings and others of jade. 2,000 years ago is when I was made. Hard to find, because of tomb raiding thugs. Only the higher ups had priceless butt ____

 

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I am trying to not eat this entire bag of Oreos. I now know what Lindsay Lohan feels like during happy hour

— Sparks (@SparksRadio) January 16, 2017

 

Back on twitter! This is the hardest app for me to stay active on! Anyone else have this problem?

— Ryan West (@RyanWestt) January 2, 2017

Thanks to Our Sponsors!

It’s Time! This episode is like that friend who doesn’t know you secretly aren’t his friend. What does that even mean?! Listen and don’t find out! We hit on crazy spiders, sea lions, pizza and wings, and even a Star Wars thought or two. This episode has it all!

Show Notes:

News That Matters:

* Catch something deadly!

* Failure to attract!

Comments First:

 

* Just lion around.

* A sea lion choosing a Honda for a nap is his seal of approval for comfort.

Guess What’s Up My Rectum:

All up on my buds, craving cheesy goodness. There should be a family friendly place, sans full of lewdness. Where they have a salad bar that’s not too far from breadsticks and soda fountain fluidness. I can smell the greasy table tops all smooth and waxy. Taking a ride down memory lane in this nostalgia taxi. BANG! BANG! A shot rang out. A deal gone bad without a doubt. So much for peaceful reminiscing. It was a bullet and my bum that have been caught kissing. This place used to be the “hangout” spot somewhat. Kid’s to Moms and baseball teams would always be seen at Pizza ________

#MotivationalMonday #MondayMotivations pic.twitter.com/hY2iAx5juK

— Ryan West (@RyanWestt) November 29, 2016

The 2016 APOCALYPSE SALE IS GOING ON NOW!! https://t.co/cGz1OoSBF0 Tee Shirts & Hoodies are on sale now! Help us reach our goal!! #Podcast pic.twitter.com/WIDqinbacn

— Sparks (@SparksRadio) December 9, 2016

Thanks to Our Sponsors!

Ryan and Sparks are back to change lives with this episode. We do our best to help find a missing mother, show you how a simple gesture saved lives in India, and how friendly New Zealanders (Kiwis) can be. Share in our cultural exploration as we talk about all the NEWS THAT MATTERS from around the globe in episode 134.

PS This episode is mostly about poop and bung holes. We’re children with low standards.

 

Show Notes:

News That Matters:

* I’m turning Japanese

* On Track

Comments First:

* The whole ocean has been drowning and people aren’t doing anything to save all the fish, this is so sad :'(

* This why I always keep my fish outside of water

* If fish are drowning…Does that mean…We are suffocating?

Guess What’s Up My Rectum:

Off to the land of “Lord of the Rings” where colorful tales describe mysterious things. Freedom of information proves of value once more, as we’ve looked at x-rays at your friendly neighbor next door. Some in the ears and others the bladder, stuck in a pee hole and others the latter. “Why is this in there?” I hear most often. The question always sounds like nails in the coffin. Maybe a finger or two there makes me chipper, short nails only, so I sat on some ___________

 

#MotivationalMonday #MondayMotivations pic.twitter.com/hY2iAx5juK

— Ryan West (@RyanWestt) November 29, 2016

The 2016 APOCALYPSE SALE IS GOING ON NOW!! https://t.co/cGz1OoSBF0 Tee Shirts & Hoodies are on sale now! Help us reach our goal!! #Podcast pic.twitter.com/WIDqinbacn

— Sparks (@SparksRadio) December 9, 2016

Thanks to Our Sponsors!

Well, we made it. And by “it” we’re talking a semi impromptu New Year’s Eve Special! SparksRadio.com Presents – The Specialist of New Year’s Eve Specials with Nomi, Ryan West, and Sparks! We’re tackling our 2016 lists and getting ready for 2017 in all the right places! Nomi’s favorite Movies of the year? Sparks’ biggest life impacting realization of 2016? What did Ryan watch everybody else enjoy in 2016? All these questions are answered in this off-the-rails-nonstop-action-thrillride-of-the-season YEAR! Listen in to this mind blowing special!

Thank you for listening to all the shows on SparksRadio.com!

 

Man bun sighting in a Big Lots this morning. I’ll add that to the comprehensive map I’m making. #manbun #manbunmap

— Ryan West (@RyanWestt) November 20, 2016

Let’s make 2017 the year we use blinkers. #UseYourDamnBlinkers

— Nomi Knowme (@Nomi_Media) December 31, 2016

Today’s West and Sparks episode is about a great many things, most of which only make sense after a trip to Australia and a near miss with a Santa Claus! We give you all the best, most important news in the realm, including unhealthy health departments, tree snakes and a Christmas debacle you won’t soon forget! It’s episode 133 of West and Sparks TIMED Podcast!

 

Show Notes:

News That Matters:

* HO HO, ya HO!

* Happy Hurlidays

Comments First:

* This is why the aliens don’t come to visit us

* I WONDER HOW MANY CALORIES HE BURNED

* At least the mustache is okay.

REAL LIFE OR MICHAEL BAY:

I’ve had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking Christmas tree! In the slam-bang-action-is-that-a-snake-or-a-penis-thrill-ride-of-tis-the-season it’s “Merry Christmas, Now Die!”

Guess What’s Up My Rectum:

There’s more to this sport so let’s take it to court, where maybe the judge will cheer. A disabled boy who felt no joy, will forever no the meaning of fear. We had a good time, now I’m charged with a crime, but they couldn’t have gotten that right. Thank you system, standards who needs them, I certainly don’t because I’m white. I’ve learned my lesson, “what is it?” your guessin’, but that’s the real banger. Now being sued, for what the family is due, because I shoved up a boy’s ass a ______

#MotivationalMonday #MondayMotivations pic.twitter.com/hY2iAx5juK

— Ryan West (@RyanWestt) November 29, 2016

The 2016 APOCALYPSE SALE IS GOING ON NOW!! https://t.co/cGz1OoSBF0 Tee Shirts & Hoodies are on sale now! Help us reach our goal!! #Podcast pic.twitter.com/WIDqinbacn

— Sparks (@SparksRadio) December 9, 2016

Thanks to Our Sponsors!

Today’s West and Sparks episode is a doozy! Plus, there’s an added bonus: there’s a full, spoiler free Rogue One: A Star Wars Story review tacked onto the end of this thing! Today we’re talking about all the News that Matters! Stories like: The best Indiana town to rob, old ladies love candles more than you think, What’s worse than flying coach?!? It’s episode 132 of West and Sparks TIMED Podcast!

PS – don’t order oregano on a sandwich around Ryan!

Show Notes:

News That Matters:

* There are no flying reindeer

* Indiana Wants Me

Comments First:

* -why these old ladies sound like Treetrunks from adventure time?

* -American stupidity at its best. thank fuck I’m Canadian

* -much respect for them old ladies. could have died, destroyed the car, but Mission has to be completed. Candle supply store must be visited.

REAL LIFE OR MICHAEL BAY:

Go find grandma. In a world where grandma can’t be found, this film suggests that she can. In the slam-bang-grandma-finding-thrill-ride-of-the-season it’s “Grandma, where art thou?”

Guess What’s Up My Rectum:

Pellets, little round balls deep inside me. You can tell it’s…time to deck the halls and collect my fee. You give me straight cash to fly to paradise? Shit, stick the cheddar in my ass and I’ll treat the cops like mice. Board the flight, this is worse than Spirit economy class. Uncomfortable, considering I’ve got a country’s GDP up my ass. After 14 hours I need more than to stretch my leg.  I approach the cops and it’s my ass health for I begin to beg. Does my ass have a mask like Batman’s Bane? “Now you have my permission to die” screams the ass pellets of _______

 

#MotivationalMonday #MondayMotivations pic.twitter.com/hY2iAx5juK

— Ryan West (@RyanWestt) November 29, 2016

 

The 2016 APOCALYPSE SALE IS GOING ON NOW!! https://t.co/cGz1OoSBF0 Tee Shirts & Hoodies are on sale now! Help us reach our goal!! #Podcast pic.twitter.com/WIDqinbacn

— Sparks (@SparksRadio) December 9, 2016

Thanks to Our Sponsors!

We’re back with all the stuff YOU NEED TO KNOW! This week sex robots are back in the news (did they ever really leave?)!! Also, santa is a world class dick and kangaroos aren’t as tough as everyone thinks! It’s episode 131 of West and Sparks!

Show Notes:

News That Matters:

* Welcome to the Blowjob Cafe!

* Fuck you santa

 

* Comments First:

* First Harambe and now this?

* Kangaroos will rule the world eventually. Let’s hope muslims won’t kill them.

* Jesus Christ Its Jason Bourne

REAL LIFE OR MICHAEL BAY:

What’s worse than a beaver? A ROGUE beaver! A beaver with no code of ethics! A beaver with no morals! A beaver looking for WOOD in all the wrong places! Some beavers want to build dams; other beavers just want to watch the world burn. In the slam-bang-action-tree-munching-beav-thrill-ride-of-the-season it’s “A Beaver Story!”

Guess What’s Up My Rectum:

Locked up, the darkest of days. It’s too late to go back and change my ways. Roll the end credits, like the end of Happy Days. Got something special, my maker I will meet. I’ll add my own nuts, to this life end treat. Place it on up, and let the poison settle in. 60% dark, and let god forgive my sodomy sin. Could have cost 100 grand, but I don’t want to fight. It’s amazing to see the milky way in the broad daylight. Life is a journey, and death is the car. I’ve reached my destination, killed by ass chocolate ________

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jody_Wilson-Raybould

#wednesdaymotivation #wednesdaymotivation #wednesdaythoughts pic.twitter.com/Xdgf3HW4AN

— Ryan West (@RyanWestt) November 16, 2016

Nothing is more humbling than misspelling the word genius

— Sparks (@SparksRadio) November 12, 2016

Thanks to Our Sponsors!

Much like your worse friend, you’re keeping the West and Sparks TIMED podcast around just to point, laugh, and call it stupid. We’re always breaking down the NEWS THAT MATTERS on this show. Plus, unlike any other podcast out there, we’re timing it! No lollygagging, just humor! Today we’re talking about: Penile Strangulation, Who pooped in the truck, and intentional forest fires! Strap in or strap on – it’s Episode 130 of West and Sparks!

Show Notes:

News That Matters:

* Marry Your Cock!

* Poop Delivery

Comments First:

* what is your political leaning? you could be both a figurative and literal cuck!

* If we had Sharia law that would have been an easy fix. Lol

* Watch out in Australia a guy got fined $9000 for flying a drone to pick up a sausage in bread from a barbecue at Bunnings