West and Sparks TIMED Podcast! Here to bamboozle your ear drums with fresh content! Sparks shows up to the podcast on time–Hell, even EARLY! Also, we talk about people who have sex with motor vehicles, public flashing and the sequel to the movie, Congo. Have a listen!

 

Show Notes

News That Matters:

Caravan? You mean, Fuck-a-van?

Bring Me My Shorts and A Bible

Comments First:

*

That’s some serious ground and pound action

He knows he’s getting his ancient d wet tonight

old man + plate = Best Mortal combat player ever!

REAL LIFE OR MICHAEL BAY:

Uh, oh. You thought the movie Congo was a one and done sort of deal. After all, how could violent primates ever be represented as well again? Man, they knocked dat shiz out of the park, when violent gray monkeys didn’t want anyone discovering their lost city! Now, it’s time for a primate origin story! From the makers who brought you, Dude, Where’s My Car and From PRUSSIA with LOVE, comes a tale so ape-shit that you’ll have to wear a diaper just to get through it! In the slam-bang-don’t-monkey-around-thrill-ride-of-rolling-back-the-prices-season, it’s AW NO! A MONKEY IN A DIAPER!

pic.twitter.com/iQhGw03Qtd

— Ryan West (@RyanWestt) July 8, 2016

Ice-T, Ice Cube, Vanilla Ice…you could say the 90’s was the last Ice age.

— Sparks (@SparksRadio) June 24, 2016

Thanks to Our Sponsors!

West and Sparks TIMED Podcast is here just in time to finish you off…err..finish off your Wednesday! Ryan got a problem in his pants and it begins before high noon. We’re also talking: Raccoon wishes, elderly gangsters, and something the Guinness Book of Records won’t touch with a 12′ 4″ pole! Listen to this one and laugh the rest of your day away!!

Show Notes

News That Matters:

Get well, coon

Sticky fingers Grandma

Comments First: 

* the toilets in that place must swallow some huge turds…these woman with their gigantic, smelly corn wagons..

* she right some of them look a lil long in the tooth

* My Proudest Fap…..

* I just got brain cancer.

REAL LIFE OR MICHAEL BAY:

Gear up, it’s the big one! From the creators of Dante’s Peak, Volcano, Deep Impact, and Armageddon, comes the next disaster film. This film was financed by Peter North and his gang of northern merrymen! From the director of Stop, or My Mom Will Shoot and Batteries Not Included…from the writer’s of the disbanded Speed 3…comes a film so bold and erect with feeling that even 3D glasses may be TOO REAL. This Winter, go see the slam-bang-jizz-a-thon-thrill-ride-of-the-season: King Cock!

 

pic.twitter.com/iQhGw03Qtd

— Ryan West (@RyanWestt) July 8, 2016

Ice-T, Ice Cube, Vanilla Ice…you could say the 90’s was the last Ice age.

— Sparks (@SparksRadio) June 24, 2016

Thanks to Our Sponsors!

 

West and Sparks is back at it for your Wednesday!! The new website has SOFT LAUNCHED! We celebrate it with catchy and disturbing music! Also, we’re talking: the best criminal alias, people that think water is pee, and catching Pokemon where no one should! Listen in as we bring the News and Comedy in a TIMELY FASHION! This is episode 11 of West and Sparks!

Show Notes!

News That Matters:

Dickface Johnson

It Peed on Me

Comments First:

*

i think i took the wrong pills, plz halp

This shit is therapy

Can I get whatever the creator of this masterpiece was smoking

omg these remixes though I’m dead

I put bleach in my kazoo.

REAL LIFE OR MICHAEL BAY:

What happens when you go from trying to catch them all…to getting CAUGHT?! The ultimate hunt has been turned! I mean…the TABLES HAVE TURNED! From the movie makers who brought you Surviving the Game and Hard Target…it’s the next evolution in shitty hunting movies! In the slam-bang-pikachu-licking-ball-busting-bulbasaur-choking-charizard-thrill-ride-of-the-season! It’s Pokemon…NO!

Guess What’s Up My Rectum:

Hey Lady! Here’s a note. I’VE GOT A GUN. Is what the writing wrote. Made out like a bandit and the cops couldn’t stand it. Probation, I got away. Investigation, Carl Monday. Going to shop post robbery. This bread so fresh, I smell like a bakery. Call up a cab like ballers do. Cops yell hands up, like the crow flew. Now up in prison and this ain’t funny. It’s full week later and from ass they withdrew ________

pic.twitter.com/iQhGw03Qtd

— Ryan West (@RyanWestt) July 8, 2016

 

Ice-T, Ice Cube, Vanilla Ice…you could say the 90’s was the last Ice age.

— Sparks (@SparksRadio) June 24, 2016

Thanks to Our Sponsors!

West and Sparks is all about discovery today! You’re going to learn more about Ryan West in the first 5 minutes of this episode than you have in the past 2 years!! Also, we’re talking: Japanese Nipple Man, ultra-violent Ice Cream WARS, and there’s some Sparks CAN’T TALK ABOUT!!! Listen in as we bring the News and Comedy in a TIMELY FASHION! This is episode 116 of West and Sparks!

Show Notes!

News That Matters:

Nips to Dips

ICE CREAM WARS

Comments First:

* funniest shit I seen all day

* It’s 2016 and people still record vertical?

* my question: why the hell did the kid do thad

* How much did he pay for the T20?

* If the kid was smart, he should have faked an injury and sued the shit out of the driver.

REAL LIFE OR MICHAEL BAY:

Coming home. Coming home. A nice event. Coming home. What a relief. “Ah,” you say. It’s nice to be home. OR IS IT?! It’s not so nice to be home when a fuzzy, gray intruder is there and it’s turning tricks! In the slam-bang-trick-turning-thrill-ride-of-the-season, it’s What the Fuck is this Koala doing in my home?!

Guess What’s Up My Rectum:

My prostate is all cancer, Doc’s got the answer, hit it with radiation, but here’s the frustration. Prostate close to my b-hole, makin it all swole, and bleeding from my buns, it never very fun. Gotta try something new, to inject in my West Virginia poo, wanna take dumps, so build a wall like Trump. Going in for Chemo, my prostate I’m going to repo, giving the cancer hell, now that my rectum got the _____

 

pic.twitter.com/iQhGw03Qtd

— Ryan West (@RyanWestt) July 8, 2016

 

Ice-T, Ice Cube, Vanilla Ice…you could say the 90’s was the last Ice age.

— Sparks (@SparksRadio) June 24, 2016

Thanks to Our Sponsors!

New episode of West and Sparks is up!!!! Somehow this is somewhat of a sequel to a show that occurred 2 years ago! We deliver the news that no one else is talking about, including pubic hair dresses, robo-anus and a discussion about the safest way to be struck by lighting! Here’s a hint: it involves a rod. As always, thanks for listening!

Links!

News That Matters:

* Dress to Impress

* Lightning Rod

Comments First:

*

He identifies as a 6 year old asian girl and you better be ok with that!

He’s so light on his feet. As if he was walking on clouds.

America, you’re fat and fabulous!

Has more baton skills than I.

REAL LIFE OR MICHAEL BAY:

Are you having fun? Or. Just maybe. THEY are having fun! What are they doing?! You’re at Chucky Cheese. BUT THEY….WHERE ARE THEY?! They’re at the slam-bang-action-thrill-ride-all-you-can-beat-whack-a-thon of a lifetime! But you. YOU are at Chucky Cheese…or you’re at Grandma’s…or you’re dead. This summer, it’s FOMO or POMO: you choose.

Guess What’s Up My Rectum:

I’m just one man, but I had a job. B hole of gold, but now discarded like a cob. You don’t work here anymore, says the team of docs. As they’re shoving their fingers in hairless buttocks. Outcast, that’s me. Good riddance to ya and your loose stool seat. I’ve never been one to complain. Taking fingers in the rear of my fleshy membrane. But this butt has gone too far to get a pass. There’s no thoughts & feelings in a robot’s _________

Cleaner than three marines’ mothers’ rooms

— Ryan West (@RyanWestt) June 21, 2016

The models on magazine covers are portraying unrealistic standards to young women who want careers as photoshop retouch artists #Talented — Sparks (@SparksRadio) April 19, 2016

Thanks to Our Sponsors!

New episode of West and Sparks is up!!!! Who is that? Is that Jim Silverbloom? It can’t be, can it? Can you donate to charity every time you masturbate? YES! Find out how! Do you want to smell like a comet? NO! Find out why! Do you want a robot doing your rectal surgery?…maybe! It’s all inside this wonderful episode of West and Sparks!!

Links!

News That Matters:

* Comin and Goin

* You smell out of this world

Comments First:

* Our true savior Satan will punish him accordingly

* Happy anniversary, shitbag!

* if he hadn’t done that, “Ben” would have stabbed him with a lightsaber

* I find this to be the funniest thing in the world

REAL LIFE OR MICHAEL BAY:

Are we alone in the universe? ARE WE?! ARE YOU? ARE WE ARE THE WE ARE ALONE LONE?! These are the questions every scientist and regular human being have been asking since the doctor slapped them in the ass to get them to breathe. These are the only questions to ask. So, when a group of regular human beings and internet experts looked up into the night sky, what they saw next made them say: “Are we are the we are alone Lone?! And the mysterious thing in the sky ANSWERED BACK! This SUMMER! In the slam-bang-thank-you-alien-mam-thrill-ride-of-the-season, it’s “Are we not alone lone?!” Staring, Jim Silverbloom.

Guess What’s Up My Rectum:

Time to go, time to pray, wheeled into surgery is where I lay. Cut with a knife for the whole world to see, not expecting this webcam with “ass play” google history. Steady hands Is all you can hope for, when it’s this type of unit going in the backdoor. Ass up and you learning while I lie on a cot. Brown eye to the sky getting surgery from a ________

 

Cleaner than three marines’ mothers’ rooms

— Ryan West (@RyanWestt) June 21, 2016

The models on magazine covers are portraying unrealistic standards to young women who want careers as photoshop retouch artists #Talented — Sparks (@SparksRadio) April 19, 2016

Thanks to Our Sponsors!

 

West and Sparks TIMED Podcast is here for your Wednesday! Fight a bat, after your team wins a championship! Don’t bounce into electricity! Say goodbye to meat forever! Plus, we even give you the latest news on fashion, of all things! It’s episode 113 of West and Sparks!

Links!

News That Matters:

* Put a cock on your back

* Meat me

REAL LIFE OR MICHAEL BAY:

Bounce with me, bounce with me, bounce with me, bounce. Get bouncy bounce bounce bounce, until you just want to do an ounce. Would you bounce in a house? How ‘bout we bounce in a house? Until thugs descend on the house with FULLY AUTOMATIC RIFLES! Go check on GRANDMA! It’s time to leave! In the slam-bang-action-electrical-thrill-ride-of-the-inflatable-season, it’s “Bounce in a House: the Electricity Equation.”

Guess What’s Up My Rectum:

Oh man! This is gonna be a great game! Soccer, A sport where the fans can’t be tame. Smuggled in my black hole, they said that I couldn’t bring it. Felt like an emergency, you’d need some light to have seen it. Whipping it out at the height of the moment. I burned 2 people now I need b-hole attonement. I brought this in bathing in its red glare, this I pulled out of my arse, it was a roadside _______

 

 

 

Cleaner than three marines’ mothers’ rooms

— Ryan West (@RyanWestt) June 21, 2016

The models on magazine covers are portraying unrealistic standards to young women who want careers as photoshop retouch artists #Talented

— Sparks (@SparksRadio) April 19, 2016

Thanks to Our Sponsors!

West and Sparks TIMED Podcast is here for your Wednesday! We’re breaking down all the news stories you need to hear about.  What’s Rocky been up to lately? Have you ever been to a Waffle House in the daylight? Can our pants convict you of a crime? All these answers and more on episode 112 of West and Sparks!

Links!

News That Matters:

* Waffle or Sausage?

* Shitty story

REAL LIFE OR MICHAEL BAY:

Sheep, aren’t we all? OR. ARE. WE?! What do a shepherd do when he takes his eyes off the flock? Who shepherds the shepherd? What happens when the flock….REVOLTS?! In the slam-bang-have-you-any-wool?-thrill-ride-of-the-season it’s “Sleep Tight but Watch Your Flock.”

Guess What’s Up My Rectum:

Break in here, break in there, nobody will know what’s in my underwear. Whoop Whoop, that’s the 5-O, I’m cat burglar, so I go out the window. Trying to rob a place, I must not have any pockets, there’s only one place to store these golden lockets. Caught and bowels scanned after my own admission, turns out I robbed the place of the X-Ray _______ 

 

Shoutout to trash compactors. They’re crushin it everyday

— Sparks (@SparksRadio) June 10, 2016

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— Ryan West (@RyanWestt) June 12, 2016

Thanks to Our Sponsors!

West and Sparks PODCAST! Back in the studio and coming at you with details on wound vacuums, dick pics and people who breast feed in their 30’s.   Be sure to hit the link and subscribe/review! Without further ado – it’s time for episode 111 of West and Sparks LIVE PODCAST!

Links!

News That Matters:

* The almighty dick pic

* Latched On

REAL LIFE OR MICHAEL BAY:

One murder. One crime. One horrific event. And a God Damn Parrot Who Witnessed It All! Can the parrot be used in court?! Would the parrot even agree to come to court? In the slam-bang-action-thrill-ride-repeat-after-me-movie-of-the-season it’s: “I’m a good bird…a really good bird.”

Guess What’s Up My Rectum:

Round, and Round so come on down to Portsmouth, a town with an inflatable mound. Come take a look and see when you go to the bathroom other than pee. Lush and soft, it won’t leave you with a wallop, when you hit your head on an anus polyp. Can you learn more about the colon? Well that debateable, as you glide down this anus ________

Neigh means neigh pic.twitter.com/l9iRN4ArC5

— Sparks (@SparksRadio) May 15, 2016

Why the FUCK does belly button lint always pile up? Always! Where does it come from? My shirts aren’t that linty! — Ryan West (@RyanWestt) February 23, 2016

Brand new RTO!! We go back over some of our favorite moments!!! listen!! https://t.co/iMr8d7oCBr or @MisfitsPodcastshttps://t.co/jMPtpiIev3

— Rise To Offend (@risetooffend) May 31, 2016

Thanks to Our Sponsors!

West and Sparks TIMED PODCAST is a special one today because it was done LIVE at Time-Out Sports Bar and Grill! In this episode Ryan talks about his first Las Vegas experience, LIVE rectum riddle audience guessing, and we ask what state Google’s “How to make a baby.” It was an absolute blast to get up and do a live show! Big thanks to the boys of Rise To Offend, who celebrated their 200th episode, for letting us get up before them for our first live episode! Be sure to hit the link and subscribe/review! Without further ado – it’s time for episode 110 of West and Sparks LIVE PODCAST!

Links!

News That Matters:

* How to make a baby

* Supplying that Pie Dough

REAL LIFE OR MICHAEL BAY:

79. 79 people awaiting the warm embrace. The clenching of body parts. The skin on skin, brief, friction-laden, rub-a-thon that should never be rushed. UNTIL. IT. IS. RUSHED. Get a move on, boys, it’s time for the deep-good-hug-it-out-but-not-for-too-long-hit-of-the-thrill-ride-rubathon-season! This summer! See the movie that treats you like you

Guess What’s Up My Rectum:

* Sign says dead end, but I still want to get with a partner or the occasional friend. Sealed up tight like fort knox, you’re going to have to go around back if you want to get in my box. Is your name Richard Gere? Because your nickname is Dick and I want it in my rear. Pump pump squirt squirt, now I’m feeling my tummy hurt. I’m pregnant the doc says when he enters the room, that because my rectum is connected to my ________

* Want to heat up your day? Well, I have a way. You may not like it, but it will ultimately make you shout, “HEY!!!!” Are you my bae? Let me say, when you come to the hospital, 10 inches don’t play. How in the hell did that get up there? There are some objects you shouldn’t pair, like THIS OBJECT with your dairy air. It’s kind of a canister, you see, and it can be used for burning trees. More common, it’s used with a mask, coupled with a brightness that, if you had one, would singe your ‘stache. If you guess, it’ll appear on your front porch, dear God, it’s a ________________

* Let’s try something new, I saw it in a film and my mind wasn’t the only thing that blew. Black, long and about 20 inches, I bent over and pulled down my britches. In the past my rectum has taken a beating, but I’ve never felt my rectum during a feeding. Now my intestines and it are having a clandestine meeting. Hours of surgery, the animal I no longer feel, that the last time I keister a live ______

 

Neigh means neigh pic.twitter.com/l9iRN4ArC5

— Sparks (@SparksRadio) May 15, 2016

Why the FUCK does belly button lint always pile up? Always! Where does it come from?