Die Hard On A Blank

SPEED 2: CRUISE CONTROL with Kris Tapley!


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It’s Die Hard on a cruise ship!

Leeches! Copper poisoning! Vehicles moving very slowly! Or sometimes not at all! That’s right folks, it’s the sequel nobody asked for! This week, Phil and Liam are cruising for a bruising as they attempt to make sense of the hideously misguided cinematic atrocity that is SPEED 2: CRUISE CONTROL! Joining them on this voyage into watery oblivion is none other than Kris Tapley, host of the SPEED oral history podcast 50MPH! 

While on a vacation cruise in the Caribbean with her new boyfriend Alex Shaw (Jason Patric), Annie (Sandra Bullock) and Alex find themselves caught up in a nefarious terror plot orchestrated by John Geiger (Willem Dafoe), a disgruntled computer programmer seeking revenge on the shipping company who screwed him over. Geiger seizes control of the cruise ship’s computer systems and threatens to destroy the vessel and everyone on it…so can Alex and Annie foil fiendish Geiger’s plan, before the cruise ship crashes? If you’re still awake, maybe you’ll find out! 

The guys start by discussing the memories of the movie’s release, and their feelings about the prospect of a sequel to Jan De Bont’s peerless original classic, 1994’s SPEED (aka “DIE HARD on a bus”). They also ponder what might have happened to the DIE HARD franchise, had the same choice been made to replace the leading man action hero with another actor. 

After talking through the various connections between DIE HARD and SPEED 2 in the ‘DIE HARD DNA’ section (including an abandoned DIE HARD sequel with an almost identical premise), the boys break down the film piece by piece, from its ill-conceived premise, to the total betrayal of Annie’s character, to the doomed attempt to replace Jack Traven with another gung-ho LAPD SWAT cop and hope nobody minded, to the pitiful villain with a very confused agenda (and a predilection for leeches, lest we forget). This is arguably the worst film that’s been covered on the podcast so far…but it might also be the funniest episode yet! 


SPEED 2: CRUISE CONTROL trailer: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8f7HlX6iW-M

At the time of release, SPEED 2: CRUISE CONTROL is streaming on Starz and is available to rent or buy on Amazon Prime Video, YouTube, Apple/iTunes, Fandango, AMC On Demand and all the usual platforms! 



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Die Hard On A BlankBy Philip Gawthorne and Liam Billingham

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