Spencetology

Every four years, America sets aside its irrational dislike of “the beautiful game” and embraces football, or soccer.

Hear the Official Song of the Reflecting Pool – “Algae.”

This year, though, there’s a little extra frosting on this football, er, soccer cake. The World Cup is being hosted in North America – games played all across the United States. Seattle, L.A., Kansas City, Miami, etc., will all get a taste of a game most Americans couldn’t give two shits about.

What, no Tractor Pull? The UFC Freedom 250 Kicks off a White House White Trash Summer.

Americans need a clear-cut winner. We don’t believe in “draws.” (That’s another word for a tie game.) We call it a field, not a “pitch.” And, clearly, the NBA notwithstanding, we get uncontrollably angry when someone flops, writhing on the ground as if they were stabbed multiple times.

Nonetheless, the World Cup is here for 39 days of 0-0 draws and countless goals called off thanks to VAR. (Video Assistant Referee) Who cares, right? Bring on the real football…American football.

• The World Cup – Who Cares?

And a bonus jingle with inspiration from Starship’s “We Built This City.”

• The World Cup’s Comin’

The post The World Cup Is Coming appeared first on Spencetology.

A wise man once wrote, “No more pencils. No more books. No more teachers’ dirty looks.” This statement encompasses summer vacation.

Hear a Kid’s take on Mother’s Day.

Two and half months of freedom. Freedom from backpacks. Freedom from PB&Js. Freedom endless nagging about homework. (Understanding, of course, nagging is transferrable.)

Create content for gas money. Introducing PumpHub

As our resident child submits, “Summer break is like being unemployed.” Kinda makes sense. A kid’s job is school, right? For two and a half months, they ain’t gotta go to work.

Here is an ordinary kid on Summer Break.

• Ordinary Kid on Summer Break

The post A Kid on Summer Break appeared first on Spencetology.

As of the date of this post, the average price for a gallon of gas in the United States is $4.56. In February, before we attacked Iran, gas stood, nationally, at $2.98 per gallon.

AI Data Centers are People Too

You still have a commute every weekday. You still have to run errands. You’re not driving any less. So, somehow you have to figure out how to bridge that gap.

Introducing PumpHub – America’s most stimulating side hustle.

You know Only Fans, right? Well PumpHub is kinda like that, only you get paid in gas money. You post premium content and get paid in premium. And, with PornHub Plus, you can earn luxurious extras!

For Mother’s Day hear the original song “It’s Your Mom’s Fault.”

PumpHub – helping Americans get off…empty. Learn more:

• PumpHub

The post PumpHub appeared first on Spencetology.

AI data centers are popping up all over the country to meet the nation’s insatiable need to post more idiotic memes on Facebook.

Hear a special song for a special lady on her special day. “It’s Your Mom’s Fault.”

The electricity and water needed by even smaller data centers can equal the same amount required to run a small town.

But, hey, you keep generating those 900 new versions of your podcast logo on DALL-E 3.

Most Americans are excited about the possibilities of AI, but most of those same Americans do not want a data center in their backyard. Understandably, there’s a lot of negativity surrounding the creation of these AI data centers.

We could all see it was just a matter of time before Kristi Noem was shown the exit. Here’s a song about it – “Noemward Bound.”

The deluge of pessimistic reporting is affecting the feelings, albeit artificial feelings, of one data center in particular. Here’s a message from an AI Data Center.

• A Message from an AI Data Cent

The post AI Data Centers are People Too appeared first on Spencetology.

As a younger man, I’ll admit to having a fantasy or two about a older broads. She was my best friend’s mom. Sexy, man. Sexy.

Maybe I was fueled by the lyrics, “Stacy’s mom has got it goin’ on.” You know, from that song. I don’t know. But she was hot, built like a woman, and seemed to flirt with me.

I remember staying over at my buddy’s house and seeing her wearing clothes around the house that were unnecessarily titillating. It was those memories that brought me all the way to this parody song.

It’s a fantasy come true. Using Demi Lovato’s “Cool for the Summer,” I made it so the song is about nailing that hot mom of your dreams. Here’s “I Slept with Your Mom.” 

Originally posted September 8, 2015

It’s time for a sing-a-long:

Brought you a croissant

She answered in a thong

But my mind felt real naughty

While we listened to Usher

Pulled me in slammed the door behind

Don’t tell yer father.

We got busy on the kitchen tile

The post I Slept with Your Mother appeared first on Spencetology.

When you’re six years old, your mom is the beginning and the end. So, not so surprisingly, most of the kids were pretty confident that moms would kick some giant lizard booty.

Wishing you a Happy Mother’s Day 2026, please enjoy “Kids on Moms.?

https://spencetology.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Kids-on-Mothers-Day-2014.mp3

The post Kids on Moms appeared first on Spencetology.

When I Was Your Man (Mother’s Day)

The post When I Was Your Man (Mother’s Day) appeared first on Spencetology.

I needed an Uber. I opened the app. I guess it had been a while, because I discovered there are no less than 57 different Uber choices available: UberX, UberXL, UberShare, UberElectric, and the list goes on and on and on.

Hear a classic Mother’s Day song – “It’s Your Mom’s Fault.”

It only makes sense that food delivery might venture down the same path. How about deliveries for just ice cream and candy – UberSweets, or for you carnivores – UberMeats. Hmmm? Yes.

My idea was inspired by the totally not set up, not staged one bit, very authentic, and homespun delivery of McDonald’s to the White House by the self-proclaimed “DoorDash Grandma.” We hear he tipped her $100 and gave her a tour of what is left of the east wing.

Remember AI Data Centers are people, too…artificial people, but people nonetheless.

The concept of DoorDash Silver was born. With Social Security in jeopardy and cuts to Medicare on the horizon, Mee Maw is going to have to find a side hustle.

• Door Dash Silver

The post Door Dash Silver appeared first on Spencetology.

These days, you have all kinds of niche accident-injury attorneys. You have your slip-n-falls. You’ve got your motorcycle injury lawyers, defective products, and the mesothelioma guys. If they can’t find a reason to sue, they’ll make one up.

AI Data Centers are People Too

That’s why this Easter, you need to have the protection of Easter Egg Accident-Injury Attorneys. They’re rabid rabbits when it comes to the rule of law.

Trampled at a church Easter egg hunt? Loss of wages due to toxic egg dye? Dismemberment due to Uncle Carl hiding an egg in the garbage disposal? For these reasons and more, you need to call Easter Egg Accident-Injury Attorneys.

• Easter Egg Accident Injury Att

The post Easter Egg Accident Injury Attorneys appeared first on Spencetology.

Since Jim Bob and his family are constantly running afoul of the law, I thought I’d dig up this classic. It’s been 11 years and the Duggars are still creepy AF.

The latest accusation finds that Joseph Duggar, pastor to Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, sexually assaulted a 9-year-old girl.

There are a ton of people who love the Duggars. Up until a few days ago, “19 Kids And Counting” was raking in the dough. Then allegations surfaced that the eldest Duggar child, Josh, was inappropriate with some of his younger sisters.

Pastor Duggar Certainly Qualifies for This Song: T.W.A.T.

Hulu has ended its relationship with the show. TLC pulled the show as well…although the cable network has not cancelled it…yet. However, with advertisers like Walgreens, Payless ShoeSource, Choice Hotels, and General Mills yanking their dollars…it would seem that Jim Bob and the fam will not be long for TV.

You’re not in the Epstein Files Unless You’re White & Rich – Check out the Hall & Oates Parody

Never fear, now you can play just like the Duggar’s with the new game, “Duggar Huggin’.”

***Re-Post Originally posted May 2015 ***

• Duggar Huggin’

The post Duggar Huggin’ appeared first on Spencetology.