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All of this DOGE nonsense has far reaching implications. Elon Musk’s tech bros are assigned with finding government fraud and waste. The ramifications of cutting programs and mass firings may impact some unsuspecting souls.

See the Original “Bad Bunny.”

For one, take the Easter Bunny.

It takes a lot of money and bunny power to keep Easter as the 4th most popular American holiday.

Without government funding, Peter Cottontail is now struggling to make ends meet.

To battle Elon Musk’s assault on Easter, Mr. Cottontail has formed The E.A.S.T.E.R. Fund – Eggs And Sweet Treats Emergency Relief Fund. Without your help, your child’s Easter basket may be completely empty. No eggs, Cadbury or otherwise.

Finally, a Breakthrough in Male Contraception – The Cybertruck.

It’s time to put all of your eggs into one basket and help Peter Cottontail continue to “hop down that bunny trail. Donate today the The E.A.S.T.E.R. Fund. Learn more here:

• The E.A.S.T.E.R. Fund

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If you recall, during the election, President Donald J. Trump promised that inflation, and specifically egg prices, would be remedied on day one.

Uh, there have been a lot of days since that famous “day one” and egg prices are at staggering levels.

Enjoy a batch of “Un-Valentines Day” Songs.

Is it all 45-47’s fault? Not really. Much like inflation during the Biden administration was a direct result of a once-in-100-year pandemic, current egg prices and shortages can be chalked to “avian influenza” aka the bird flu.

A most recent count found that some 157 million birds have been affected by the disease. 145 million of those birds were chickens. They either died of the bird flu, or were culled to prevent the disease’s deadly spread.

A Breakthrough in Male Contraception – Elon Musk’s Cybertruck

Now, I don’t know which came first, the chicken or the egg, but I do know that without chickens you don’t have any eggs. For those who still don’t seem to understand supply and demand, when eggs are in demand, and there is a short supply, prices go up.

Here is a quick explanation with The Chicken Dance (Bird Flu Remix.)

• The Chicken Dance (Bird Flu Remix)

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If you’ve ever lived in an apartment, you know how vital it is to your well-being to have a good upstairs neighbor.

At some point, most of us have experienced a rude, obnoxious butthole living a floor above us.

A Breakthrough in Male Contraception is here – The Cybertruck

You have the one who sounds like they’re pet sitting an elephant. If it’s not their Bluetooth speaker blasting out the jams, it’s their vacuum cleaner doing a thorough clean up at 3am.

Canada is North America’s friendly upstairs tenant. Canada would never park in your assigned parking spot and then leave town for a week. The sheriff’s department doesn’t make regular visits. Canadians are polite. Canadians are courteous.

So, why the f*** are we f***ing with the best upstairs neighbors in the history of apartments?

Oh yeah, elections have consequences.

Enjoy some “Un-Valentines Day Songs”

Among all this tariff-talk and threats of of being “51st state,” Canadians are still lovingly here to help their American neighbors with an empathetic ear or a shoulder to cry on. If you’re struggling getting through the day-to-day anxiety of a second Trump presidency, maybe you should get an Emotional Support Canadian.

• Emotional Support Canadians

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It would seem that most people prefer the traditional Christmas. The stories of a fat, bearded guy hitting every address on the planet delivery toys for the good boys and girls. Cool.

Then you got the put “Christ” back in Christmas types. I feel you, but that’s not a lot of fun, is it?

I tend to side with the more rebellious. The anti-Christmas that is Frank Costanza’s “Festivus.” Of course, you can’t have Festivus without Christmas, and the airing of grievances.

I consider the following holiday-inspired bits to be just that, a comicial airing of grievances with a touch of feats of strength

Manger Zone

In the Bible, Joseph & Mary’s trek from Nazareth to Bethlehem was referred to as the “Highway to the Manger Zone.” Fact.

A post shared by Drunkle Spence (@spencetology)

Here Comes Amazon

Jeff Bezos is destroying Santa Claus with help from YOU!

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Why Santa is Better Than Amazon

An ordinary kid explains who really is responsible for overnight delivery.

• A Kid on Santa vs Amazon

The Elf on the Shelf Song

He’s not spying on who you think he is.

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HOzempic

This year Santa is looking slim and sexy. Now, we know why.

• HOzempic

Santa Claus

I think every fictional holiday icon deserves the Beastie Boy treatment, don’t you?

Santa Ooh Na Na

A song for Christmas’ top banana, Santa Ooh Na Na

• Santa Ooh Na Na

Phone Scam: Flock You!

To flock, or not to flock. That is the question.

• Scam “Flock You!”

Melania Stars on Hallmark’s Countdown to Christmas

She’s back for another four years, and still hates the holidays.

A County Jail Christmas

Perhaps the Hallmark Channel is struggling for plotlines for this year’s Countdown to Christmas.

• A County Jail Christmas

Office Christmas Party

No good can come from co-workers drinkin’ and gettin’ freaky on the dance floor.

• Office Christmas Party

A Drunken Christmas

Much like the Office Christmas Party above, bad things happen when you booze up over the holidays.

• A Drunken Christmas

A Perverted Christmas

Christmas albums are a must for this time of year especially if you’re on the naughty list.

• A Perverted Christmas

Frosty the Snowperson

You have to believe that Frosty is gender neutral, right?

• Frosty the Snowperson

Grandma Got Pulled Over With a Cold Beer

Whose grandparents know how to party?

• Grandma Got Pulled Over with a Cold Beer

Ho

Florida’s rap anthem, “Low” gets a Christmas makeover.

• Ho

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