Spite Club

This episode, Zoe and Margie tackle 1986's top military recruitment tool, Top Gun, directed by two guys we don't mention and starring Tom Cruise, Lesbian Kelly McGillis, Val Kilmer, and a whole lotta planes. What's a mig? What's a hard deck? What's a woman like Lesbian Kelly McGillis doing settling for a man like Tom Cruise? What happens to Sea Org servants when the people they're working for die? Whose house is that? None of these questions will have answers, but listen anyway to find out once and for all who is the toppest gun.

Tweet us how many teeth you have: @clubspite

E-mail us kissing tips: [email protected]

Intro music by Hot Lava.

It's a super special holiday spectacular bonus episode - our Christmas gift to you! Join us as we fall down several elevator shafts in our fake bare feet on the holiest night of the year. Gather your friends, family, and dead fetus guardian angel around the ol' yule log and learn how Zoe answers the phone, why Margie hates Jim Carrey, and what we want for Christmas (hint: it's for you to leave a review.)

Tweet us your wild ride of a single-sentence review: @ClubSpite

Write to us about your favorite balls-to-the-wall crazy Christmas movie: [email protected]

Intro music by Hot Lava.

This month, Zoe and Margie dive headfirst into the MRA cesspool that is 1979's Kramer vs. Kramer, a movie with 90% less Meryl Streep than we deserve and 100% more jabs at feminism than we can tolerate. Along the way they discuss what Drake Bell and Shia LeBoeuf have in common (it's not fun!), what unknown actress Meryl Streep looks like, and how the comments section of YouTube can be your angle or your devil. Plus, Margie is ungrateful to her boyfriend for trying to fix her car, Zoe surprises absolutely no one with her Dump Him and Watch Instead, and if you listen real hard you might be able to hear Zoe's toes.

It's a special spooky halloween election day arnold schwarzenegger episode extravaganza where we bravely endure the utter nonsense that is John McTiernan's Predator. Join us as we ask such pressing questions as: could the predator serve on the supreme court? is the predator batman? why does the predator have hands? what is a critter? Plus, Margie gets shamed, Zoe gets appreciated, and we give you the inside scoop on jokes we came up with as teenagers.

Margie's poem paraphrasing "get to the chopper": https://thepostapocalypse.com/2013/04/13/best-cheap-haircuts/

Who Was Phone?: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/then-who-was-phone

Election resources: https://www.eac.gov/voters/voter-resources-helpful-links

Tweet us your level of respect for the predator: @ClubSpite

Write to us with firsthand knowledge of the beef between CIA and Army: [email protected]

Tag us in photos of bodybuilders: @spiteclubpodcast

Intro music by Hot Lava.

Margie hates him so much that she never bothered to learn his real name and calls him McFarland the whole episode. Zoe hates him so much she'd rather get on stage at a Norah Jones concert and sing a love ballad a cappella than watch another movie of his. Other men we hate on in this episode: Daniel Tosh, Peter Travers, and Ryan Reynolds. Plus, Margie gets McHale'd, Zoe learns some fun facts about heterosexual intimacy, and you lucky listeners get pro tips about sex, drugs, and vegetables. Oh, yeah, btw we're watching Seth McWhatever's Ted from 2012, starring hate crime perpetrator Mark Wahlberg and the smoke monster from Lost (who you might know as Mila Kunis).

This Film Is Not Yet Rated: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0493459/

I Think We're Alone Now (Tiffany documentary): https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1152828/

Reese Witherspoon Fan Club: https://www.fanpop.com/clubs/reese-witherspoon

Tweet us your sorry-babe-I-gotta-go celeb crush: @ClubSpite

Write to us to correct Margie's pronunciation of MacFarlane: [email protected]

Intro music by Hot Lava.

O Crotch Shot, My Crotch Shot: Zoe and Margie head off to boarding school in the WASP-iest episode yet with Peter Weir's 1989 teen drama Dead Poet's Society. Listen in for rousing and thoughtful discussions about manipulation tactics, cults of personality, and teen suicide. In other news, God's on the phone, John Waters is alive, and someone gets spanked.

Teachers on lunch break: https://twitter.com/shycsmith/status/1279269008764698626?s=20

SNL Dead Poets Skit: https://youtu.be/Ie6LpKOJVf0

Tweet us about your fav Mary Kate and Ashley movie: @ClubSpite

Write to us about your experiences with (gay) sex in boarding school: [email protected]

Intro music by Hot Lava.

We're back after our summer hiatus with an extra-long, extra-spiteful episode about Todd Duffy's 1999 machismo skateboarding masterpiece, Lords of Reservoir Saintstown. Join us as we romp through Boston alongside two identical nameless brothers who sometimes do and sometimes don't have Irish accents but who always recite a dumb poem after they murder. Along the way we learn about how not to get home from the airport, women in holes, The Blob, Pinky and the Brain's sex life, and how white dudes have been obsessed with vigilante justice for the entire history of white dudeness.

The True Kitty Genovese Story: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2014/03/10/a-call-for-help

Twitter: @ClubSpite

IG: SpiteClub

Intro music from "Ghosties" by Hot Lava

What was ur fav song off the Garden State soundtrack? In this episode, Zoe and Margie don't answer that question but they do answer questions about manic pixie dream girls, taking drugs, and Natalie Portman. How long does it take a dead hamster to go into rigor mortis, and when should you call your local deep reaching force about a leak in your bathtub? Also, Zoe gets on her moral high horse over grave-robbing and Margie encourages everyone to live dangerously regarding q-tips.

Petition for Justice for Breonna Taylor: change.org/JusticeforBreonnaTaylor

Resources for Breonna Taylor: https://justiceforbreonna.org/

Ryan Gosling refusing cereal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkpCP9R1Jjc

As the title suggests, we watched Sly Stallone's 1976 character-driven sports drama, Rocky. But first: we support Black Lives Matter and the fight to defund, demilitarize, and dismantle the police. The following resources have been helpful to us and we hope they will be helpful to you.

https://defund12.org/ makes it really, really easy to "email government officials and council members to reallocate egregious police budgets towards education, social services, and dismantling racial inequality via this crowd-sourced tool."

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/06/the-case-for-reparations/361631/ links to a 2014 essay by Ta-Nehisi Coates that should (continue to) be read and shared widely

https://www.communityjusticeexchange.org/nbfn-directory is a state-by-state directory of bail funds you can donate to in support of protesters and other people currently being targeted and arrested.

https://secure.actblue.com/donate/ab_mn?refcode=innocenceproject allows you to make one donation through the Innocence Project which you can split b/w several national groups - also allows you to choose one or several groups to put your money towards.

https://blacklivesmatter.com/chapters/ will help you find your local BLM chapter so you can join in protests or get involved to whatever capacity you're able.

There is no Ghostbusters (1984), only Ghostbusters (2016). In this episode, worlds collide as we watch another Bill Murrary-Harold Ramis thing directed by the guy who did Animal House. Where did Bill Murray learn to be so charmingly disaffected, and why wasn't this a murder mystery set at Rick Moranis' client party? Also: New York-native Margie can't recognize the Empire State Building, Zoe talks about family business meetings, and Linda Hamilton makes a surprise appearance!

"Best" "Conservative" "Movies": https://www.nationalreview.com/magazine/2009/02/23/best-conservative-movies/

Theme Song: "Ghosties" by Hot Lava