In today's episode Joelle and Gillian discuss the nature of childhood anxiety in general and how powerful it can be in creating physical symptoms and derailing learning. Below is Joelle's amazing one-pager including all we discuss in this episode, and more!
Strategies for students who get stuck when feeling anxious.
Joelle van Lent, Psy.D.
1.) Externalize the anxiety and align with the child against the anxiety.
Ask the child to give anxiety a name and even draw a picture of what it would look like if it were visible. Then others can align with the child against anxiety. When anxiety causes conflict between the child and caring adults, it is winning. Anxiety can be disempowered when it is objectified and when adults emphasize that they are working as a team with the child to overcome the anxiety symptoms.
2.) Reinforce the strategies not the emotion. It is helpful to remember that emotions and anxiety do not follow logical rules and can be very irrational. The child does not have control over how they feel, yet they do have control over
how they cope. Incentives should focus on their willingness to try coping strategies, such as taking deep breaths instead of yelling, swearing, and suppressing the emotions. Success and praise should focus on the use of coping skills and not the central state of being calm or focused.
3.) “Strike while the iron is cold.” Talk about the possibility of an anxious or worried response when the child is calm and there is no sense of urgency. At those times, the child will be more able to plan for how they will be supported and what coping skills they will use.
4.) Schedule “worry time”.
Set a time each day to worry together. When worries come up at other times, write them down in a “parking lot” and come back to them during worry time. During worry time, parents can worry with the child for a set time (7-10 minutes) and then when the timer goes off use calming strategies and distraction techniques. During worry time, there is mostly expression of worries
and validation. Ask the child if they would like to problem solve during this time. After worry time, focus on distraction and soothing routines.
5.) Create visual task strips and schedules for daily tasks and routines.
Parents can give visual task strips or lists to help the child with follow directions when stress may disrupt processing, focus, and short-term memory. For example, write a list on a sticky note and hand it to the child while giving verbal directions. Teachers can do the same to reduce the demand on processing and short-term memory.
6.) Adults should keep their emotion calm to offer co-regulation.
Adults should work to keep their emotional stance calm and actively work to not match the child’s emotion. If adults escalate with the child, this will further dysregulate. The emotions may be irrational, but also real. Validate the emotion, let the child know the problem is in fact manageable, and model how to regulate emotions to match the “size of the problem”. When adults feel urgency to move through a transition, that urgency can further escalate. Therefore, not rushing and reminding oneself that it is OK to pause and regroup for a few minutes in most
situations.
7.) Communicate your belief that the child is capable by not lowering expectations. It is very important that parents and adults in school have not lowered expectations or allowed anxiety to change the rules, limits, and expectations. Children who experience anxiety often notice the secondary gain of anxiety even though it is not the original intention. They may sometimes experiment with those responses even when they are relatively calm, especially if
those responses elicit attenti
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