Startup Dad

Tom Willerer is the Chief Operating Officer at Reforge. Prior to that he was the Chief Product Officer at Opendoor, Coursera and a VP of Product at Netflix. Tom is a husband, father of two teenagers and a fellow Michigander.

In this episode we discuss:

Tom's early years as a college baseball player

How Tom got into tech

The decision to start a family

A hilarious story about burritos in the delivery room

Having a limited support network

How parenting is a team sport and how that team changes over time

What it's like raising teenagers

How to let kids make their own decisions (safely)

Mistakes made leaning in too much to help

Parenting frameworks

How to put your partners needs above your own

Managing kids and career

—

Where to find Tom Willerer

- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/twillerer/

 

Where to find Adam Fishman

- Newsletter: https://startupdadpod.substack.com/

- Newsletter: https://www.fishmanafnewsletter.com

- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/

- Twitter (aka X): https://twitter.com/fishmanaf

- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/startupdadpod/

—

In this episode, we cover:

(1:51) Tom's introduction

(2:13) Learning more about Tom's background

(5:57) How Tom got into tech

(8:40) His decision to start a family with his wife

(9:50) Lacking a strong support network

(12:05) Tom's earliest memory of becoming a dad

(15:58) Why parenting is a team sport

(18:40) How the team changes as your kids get older

(22:22) What it's like raising teenagers

(27:26) How to let your kids make their own decisions

(31:30) Mistakes made leaning in too much

(35:23) Parenting frameworks

(38:19) When he and his wife don’t agree

(42:50) Putting your partner’s needs above own

(46:56) Managing kids & career

(48:47) Sacrifices made as a dad

(51:37) Rapid fire round

—

Show references:

Springfree Trampoline - https://www.springfreetrampoline.com/collections/trampolines

Inside Out the movie - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2096673/

Jeep Wrangler - https://www.jeep.com/wrangler.html

Sleep Coach - https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/what-is-sleep-coach

Reforge - www.reforge.com 

Opendoor - www.opendoor.com

Coursera - https://www.coursera.org/

Netflix - https://www.netflix.com/

Indiana University - https://www.iu.edu/index.html

Mario Kart 8 - https://mariokart8.nintendo.com/

Sun Microsystems - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sun_Microsystems

BlackBerry - https://www.blackberry.com/us/en

Dad Joke Cards - https://www.amazon.com/WORD-TEASERS-Worst-Jokes-Conversation/dp/B09BX39MBN/r

City Ballet of San Diego - https://cityballet.org/

X (Twitter) - https://twitter.com/

Colic - https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/colic

ChatGPT - https://chat.openai.com

Super73 - https://super73.com/

Luke Bryan - https://www.lukebryan.com/tour

Shoreline Amphitheatre - https://www.mountainviewamphitheater.com/

Bridesmaids - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1478338/

Elon Musk - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elon_Musk

—

Production support for Startup Dad is provided by Tommy Harron at http://www.armaziproductions.com/

Episode art designed by Matt Sutherland at https://www.mspnw.com/

Ryan Johson is the Chief Product Officer at CallRail a marketing and AI technology company. He was an early pioneer in the AI industry doing fascinating work on computer vision for anomaly detection in videos and images. Ryan is a husband and father of two kids and a fellow Midwesterner.

In this episode we discuss:

• His Midwestern upbringing and the work ethic that instilled in him


• The challenges of maintaining friendships with parents who have kids at different ages than yours


• The worst parenting advice he's ever received


• How to foster interests in his kids without coming on too strong


• How he and his wife navigated the decision for one of them to step back from the workforce during the pandemic


• Muckle-Wells Syndrome - his daughter's rare autoinflammatory disease and the process for figuring it out and getting her treatment


• Mistakes he's made as a dad and lessons learned

—

Where to find Ryan Johnson

- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ryandjohnson/

- Twitter (aka X): https://twitter.com/rydavidjohnson

 

Where to find Adam Fishman

- Newsletter: https://www.fishmanafnewsletter.com

- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/

- Twitter (aka X): https://twitter.com/fishmanaf

- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/startupdadpod/

—

In this episode, we cover:

[1:47] Ryan's professional background

[5:56] Ryan's Midwestern childhood

[8:54] His family's influence on his career

[10:30] How he met wife and an introduction to his kids

[11:45] Maintaining friendships with parents of different aged kids

[14:20] Worst parenting advice he's ever received

[16:05] About Becky, his wife

[18:00] Why his wife stepped back from work during the pandemic and the conversation around that decision

[23:00] Their decision to start a family

[24:08] His earliest memory of being a dad

[26:04] The most surprising parts of being a dad

[27:46] Which of his kids are like him or his wife

[28:23] Fostering kid’s interests in art, sports and other creative pursuits

[32:08] His daughter’s auto inflammatory disease

[41:44] Where he and his wife don’t align sometimes

[43:44] Sacrifices he's made as a parent

[46:12] His version of work/life balance

[48:50] Mistakes made and lessons learned as a dad

[51:00] Rapid fire round

—

Show references:

Oracle: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oracle_Corporation

ChatGPT: https://chat.openai.com

General Motors: https://www.gm.com/

University of Michigan: https://umich.edu/

Albion College: https://www.albion.edu/

Muckle-Wells Syndrom: https://rarediseases.org/rare-diseases/muckle-wells-syndrome/

Mario Kart: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mario_Kart

CallRail: https://www.callrail.com/

The NoseFrida: https://frida.com/products/nosefrida

Saginaw, Michigan: https://www.saginaw-mi.com/

—

Production support for Startup Dad is provided by Tommy Harron at http://www.armaziproductions.com/

Episode art designed by Matt Sutherland at https://www.mspnw.com/

 

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit startupdadpod.substack.com

Ben Wiliams is a product and engineering executive and was most recently the VP Product at Snyk; an $8B developer tools company. He is currently a Product and Growth advisor and owner of PLGeek.com as well as The Product Led Geek Newsletter. Ben is a husband and father of two kids and my first international interview (he hails from the UK).

In this episode we discuss:

• The importance of therapy in a successful career and marriage and how it's stigmatized in the UK


• His early exposures to racism and his upbringing in a mixed race family in the UK


• Meeting your wife on a dating app


• The challenges and joys of being a Dad


• Growing up in a strict household


• How a career never prepares you for the rollercoaster of fatherhood


• Sacrifices you make to be more present


• How life is different for parents in the UK than the States


• Building a robust support network


• Hilarious stories about "birthing class."


• Rapid Fire - UK edition

—

Where to find Ben Williams

- Twitter (aka X): https://twitter.com/semanticben

- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/semanticben/

- Product Led Geek Newsletter: https://www.plg.news/

 

Where to find Adam Fishman

- Newsletter: https://www.fishmanafnewsletter.com

- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/

- Twitter (aka X): https://twitter.com/fishmanaf

- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/startupdadpod/

- Threads: https://www.threads.net/@fishmanaf

—

In this episode, we cover:

[2:06] Welcome

[2:47] Professional background

[4:55] Career prepped for parenting?

[5:17] Childhood family environment/racism

[10:06] Partner/kids

[13:15] Earliest memory of being a dad?

[14:20] UK prep for baby

[18:06] Making sacrifices

[22:26] Risk awareness

[23:17] UK/USA parenting/mental health

[26:23] Emotional intelligence

[29:29] How do kids get along?

[31:28] Support structures

[33:36] Parenting frameworks

[36:32] Partner disagreement

[39:31] Mistake as a father?

[40:46] Comfort zone in parenting

[41:15] Work/home balance

[47:22] Talking to kids about racism

[49:20] Rapid fire round

—

Show references:

The University of Manchester

Snyk

CloudBees

PLGEEK

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)

Brickies

National Childbirth Trust (NCT)

In vitro fertilization (IVF)

Brazilian jiu-jitsu (BJJ)

Fresh Food Feeder

Playmobile Large Princess Castle

IBM

Fujitsu

Acorn Electron

Sinclair ZX Spectrum

BBC Micro

VW ID. Buzz

Pong/Asteroids

Bob Marley

Peppa Pig

—

Production support for Startup Dad is provided by Tommy Harron at http://www.armaziproductions.com/

Episode art designed by Matt Sutherland at https://www.mspnw.com/

 

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit startupdadpod.substack.com

In this special, 10th episode I interviewed husband and wife team Josh Herzig-Marx and Carla Naumburg, PhD. Josh is a product executive and coach, a former VP of Product, founder and ex-Googler. He is also the "default" parent to two teenagers having chosen to step back as Carla leaned more into the workforce as a best-selling parenting book author.

Carla is a clinical social worker and mother. She’s the author of four non-fiction books, including her international bestseller, How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids (Workman, 2019), as well as You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent, and the forthcoming How to Stop Freaking Out, the (completely swear-free) middle-grade adaptation of How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids. 

 

In this episode we discuss:

• Transition stages for kids and puberty during the pandemic


• The argument that led to their decision to start a family


• IVF and fertility


• How you can't learn to be a parent from a pamphlet


• Understanding privilege and balance as a parent


• Their decision for Josh to be the default parent


• Whether you're in Teen or Tween mode and what to do


• Parenting Frameworks


• What it means to be a good parent


• Rapid fire!

—

Where to find Josh Herzig-Marx

- Twitter (aka X): https://twitter.com/herzigma

- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joshuaherzigmarx/

 

Where to find Carla Naumburg

- Carla's Website: https://www.carlanaumburg.com/

- Carla's Books: https://www.carlanaumburg.com/books/

 

Where to find Adam Fishman

- Newsletter: https://www.fishmanafnewsletter.com

- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/

- Twitter (aka X): https://twitter.com/fishmanaf

- Threads: https://www.threads.net/@fishmanaf

—

In this episode, we cover:

[2:10] Personal background

[4:36] How did you meet?

[6:54] Family/kids

[8:12] Kid’s transition stages/puberty

[11:46] Decision to start a family

[15:30] IVF

[19:04] Earliest memories of becoming a parent

[24:04] Work/life balance

[26:05] Privilege

[31:50] Being the default parent

[38:28] Teen vs. Tween mode

[39:18] Parenting frameworks

[48:20] What is a good parent/unconditional love

[52:52] Rapid fire round

—

Show references:

You're Not a Sh*tty Parent: https://www.carlanaumburg.com/books/youre-not-a-shtty-parent/

 

How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids: https://www.carlanaumburg.com/books/how-to-stop-losing-your-sht-with-your-kids/

 

Ready, Set, Breathe: https://www.carlanaumburg.com/books/ready-set-breathe/

 

All of Carla's Books: https://www.carlanaumburg.com/books/

 

—

Production support for Startup Dad is provided by Tommy Harron at http://www.armaziproductions.com/

Episode art designed by Matt Sutherland at https://www.mspnw.com/

 

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit startupdadpod.substack.com

Matt Greenberg is a product and engineering executive and was most recently the CTO at Reforge. He was previously the VP of Engineering at Credit Karma. Matt is a husband and father of three boys and one dog. In this episode we discuss:

• Matt's father being his hero and the wisdom he gained from him


• The work required in raising three boys


• The decision to have a third kid


• What to do when you get a phone call that your kid has wandered off in the neighborhood


• An exciting home birth experience involving the fire department


• The exponential growth of love after having kids


• Parenting three kids and starting Reforge during the pandemic


• Having an autistic son and getting him diagnosed


• Assessments, IEPs, and other support for autistic kids

—

Where to find Matt Greenberg

- Twitter (aka X): https://twitter.com/matt_muffin

- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mattgreenberg/

 

Where to find Adam Fishman

- Newsletter: https://www.fishmanafnewsletter.com

- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/

- Twitter (aka X): https://twitter.com/fishmanaf

- Threads: https://www.threads.net/@fishmanaf

—

In this episode, we cover:

[1:58] Matt's background

[3:53] Current life/Reforge/Engineering Leaders

[5:44] Matt's childhood

[7:03] Random funny parenting stories

[8:24] Matt's parents

[10:27] Advice from Matt's Dad

[12:44] Matt's partner and how they met

[14:00] All about Matt's kids

[14:26] Their decision to have kids

[17:37] Who is in charge of the dog

[19:16] Earliest memory of Fatherhood and a wild home birth experience

[24:15] His most surprising thing as a Dad

[27:24] Managing three kids during Covid with his partner

[31:24] Autism

[37:20] Advocacy/IEPs/supporting your Autistic child and parenting frameworks

[53:45] Where he's not always 100% aligned with his partner

[58:56] Rapid fire

 

—

Show references:

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish - https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/0380811960/

 

The Birth Partner, by Penni Simkin - https://www.amazon.com/Birth-Partner-5th-Childbirth-Companions/dp/1558329102/

—

Production support for Startup Dad is provided by Tommy Harron at http://www.armaziproductions.com/

Episode art designed by Matt Sutherland at https://www.mspnw.com/

 

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit startupdadpod.substack.com

Mike Duboe is a General Partner at Greylock, one of the most well-known venture firms in Silicon Valley. Prior to that he was a Growth leader at Stitch Fix through their IPO and Tilt which was acquired by AirBnB. He is a husband and the father of two kids. In this episode we discuss:

• Cultural influences from his grandparents and parents


• Getting into alignment on the right time to have kids


• Having your second kid 2 months into the pandemic!


• Building resiliency in your family


• The ongoing challenge of balancing with two working parents


• Creating constraints to prioritize your time


• How to make time for your spouse


• Being the social chair of your marriage


• What he'd do differently if they had a third kid

—

Where to find Mike Duboe

- Twitter (aka X): https://twitter.com/mduboe

- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mikeduboe/

 

Where to find Adam Fishman:

- Newsletter: https://www.fishmanafnewsletter.com

- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/

- Twitter (aka X): https://twitter.com/fishmanaf

- Threads: https://www.threads.net/@fishmanaf

—

In this episode, we cover:

[1:50] Mike’s Background 

[7:54] Key Differences Between Growth and Venture

[11:15] Mike’s childhood and upbringing  

[14:46] Mike’s wife and kids

[16:58] Aligning on the time to start a family 

[19:36] His earliest fatherhood memories

[21:31] Most surprising part about being a dad 

[24:08] The ongoing challenge of balancing the lives of two working parents

[28:25] Frameworks for parenting 

[30:30] Disagreements on parenting philosophy 

[33:22] Having your second kid at the start of the pandemic

[35:38] Biggest mistakes made as a father 

[37:15] Rapid fire round

[41:41] Parting words

—

Show references:

Bill Murray-Lost in translation: https://youtu.be/eNK7N3AwVFQ

Greylock: https://greylock.com/

—

Production support for Startup Dad is provided by Tommy Harron at http://www.armaziproductions.com/

Episode art designed by Matt Sutherland at https://www.mspnw.com/

 

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit startupdadpod.substack.com

Darius Contractor is the Chief Growth Officer at Otter.ai, prior to that he was Chief Product and Technology Officer at Vendr, a Growth and Product leader at Airtable and Facebook, and an Engineering leader at Dropbox. He is also a fantastic angel investor and advisor, a husband and the father of two kids. In this episode we discuss:

• His parents influence on his career


• His earliest memories of being a Dad


• Freak out moments


• Watching your kids experience the world for the first time


• Frameworks for parenting


• Sacrifices you make when becoming a parent


• Acknowledging your mistakes

—

Where to find Darius Contractor

- Twitter (aka X): https://twitter.com/dariusmc

- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dariusmc/

 

Where to find Adam Fishman:

- Newsletter: https://www.fishmanafnewsletter.com

- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/

- Twitter (aka X): https://twitter.com/fishmanaf

- Threads: https://www.threads.net/@fishmanaf

—

In this episode, we cover:

[1:24] Darius introduction and professional background

[2:46] His personal background

[4:05] His parent’s influence on his life

[5:30] Info on his family

[6:50] Decision to start a family

[9:53] Parenting during the Pandemic

[12:41] Earliest memory of being a Dad

[15:06] A freak out moment

[17:22] Most surprising part of being a Dad

[21:40] Watching your kids experience the world the first time

[24:22] Parenting frameworks

[30:25] Disagreements with your partner

[34:16] Successes!

[35:31] Sacrifices made in becoming a parent

[39:12] Mistakes as a Dad

[42:17] Hustle culture vs. Parenting

[46:57] Rapid fire round

—

Show references:

Doona Stroller: https://www.doona.com/en-us/car-seat-stroller/discover-doona

—

Production support for Startup Dad is provided by Tommy Harron at http://www.armaziproductions.com/

Episode art designed by Matt Sutherland at https://www.mspnw.com/

 

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit startupdadpod.substack.com

Brian Balfour is the founder and CEO of Reforge, former VP of Growth at Hubspot, and a venture partner at Long Journey Ventures. He is one of the foremost experts on Growth and also a husband and the father of two young kids. In this episode we discuss:

• His parents opinion of his profession


• Other family members' influence on his entrepreneurial spirit


• His decision to start a family and whether he took to fatherhood right away


• The tragedy of losing his first child at birth and challenges of conceiving


• How to protect your time as a CEO and a father


• Brian's frameworks for parenting


• How to align with your partner


• Life during the pandemic with a partner who is a nurse, young kids and a fast-growing startup

—

Where to find Brian Balfour

- Twitter: https://twitter.com/bbalfour

- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bbalfour/

- Personal Website: https://www.brianbalfour.com

 

Where to find Adam Fishman:

- Newsletter: https://www.fishmanafnewsletter.com

- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/

- Twitter: https://twitter.com/fishmanaf

- Threads: https://www.threads.net/@fishmanaf

—

In this episode, we cover:

[1:40] Intros

[2:06] Professional background

[3:28] Personal background

[6:38] Parents' opinion of his career

[9:33] Uncle’s influence on his entrepreneurial spirit

[11:59] About his family

[14:39] Decision to start a family

[18:07] Whether or not he took to Fatherhood right away

[18:30] Losing a child at birth

[21:29] The “Instagramification” of parenting

[22:52] Parenting reality check

[25:26] Most surprising thing about Fatherhood?

[28:08] How to protect your time as a parent and a CEO

[30:21] More discussion of losing a child and Brian's coping strategies

[37:09] Parenting frameworks

[41:34] Aligning as a couple

[45:11] Life during pandemic

[48:58] Rapid fire round

—

Show references

- www.reforge.com

- H.A.N.D. - Helping After Neonatal Death

—

Production support for Startup Dad is provided by Tommy Harron at http://www.armaziproductions.com/

Episode art designed by Matt Sutherland at https://www.mspnw.com/

 

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit startupdadpod.substack.com

Fareed Mosavat is Chief Development Officer at Reforge, former Director of Product at Slack, Instacart, Zynga and more. He's a husband and father of two teenagers (!). In this episode we discuss:

• Lessons from being raised by his Mom


• His decision to start a family


• Earliest memories of being a Dad


• Regrets he's had as a father


• Tweens vs. Teens and which is worse


• Establishing family guard rails


• What he and his wife don't agree on


• Hilarious rapid-fire round

—

Where to find Fareed Mosavat

- Twitter: https://twitter.com/far33d

- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fareed/

 

Where to find Adam Fishman:

- Newsletter: https://www.fishmanafnewsletter.com

- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/

- Twitter: https://twitter.com/fishmanaf

- Threads: https://www.threads.net/@fishmanaf

—

In this episode, we cover:

[1:35] Introductions

[2:25] What is a CDO?

[5:19] Fareed’s career background

[8:19] Childhood

[11:04] Lessons from Mom

[13:49] How he met his partner

[16:36] Their decision to start a family

[20:51] More about his wife

[21:39] Earliest memories of being a Dad

[27:50] Work/life balance and a career story

[32:33] Regrets

[36:38] Tweens vs. Teens and which is worse

[39:46] Establishing family guard rails

[43:44] Where he and his partner don't agree

[46:23] Rapid fire round

—

Companies referenced: www.reforge.com

Production support for Startup Dad is provided by Tommy Harron at http://www.armaziproductions.com/

Episode art designed by Matt Sutherland at https://www.mspnw.com/

 

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit startupdadpod.substack.com

Buster Benson is Principle Product Manager at Medium, the platform creating a new model for digital publishing. He a published author of the book Why Are We Yelling? The Art of Productive Disagreements, the founder of 750Words, and most importantly the father of two boys. In this episode we discuss:

• Joining and leaving companies in pursuit of being a better father


• Starting a family while being broke with no insurance


• Home birthing


• Having a kid who doesn't sleep for more than 30 minutes at a time


• Separation and divorce


• How to talk to your kids about divorce


• Maintaining an amicable relationship with your ex and connection to your kids

—

Where to find Buster Benson:

- Twitter: https://twitter.com/buster

- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/busterbenson/

- 750 Words: https://750words.com/

- Amazon: Why Are We Yelling?

 

Where to find Adam Fishman:

- Newsletter: https://www.fishmanafnewsletter.com

- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/

- Twitter: https://twitter.com/fishmanaf

—

In this episode, we cover:

[1:26] Introduction

[2:30] Background

[6:22] Decision to start a family

[7:49] Homebirth

[9:28] Homebirth community

[11:06] About Buster’s kids

[12:47] Why parenting is hard

[14:40] Buster’s earliest fatherhood memories

[17:53] Surprising fatherhood things

[19:45] External pressure

[21:45] Frameworks for parenting

[24:14] ADHD/Diagnosis

[25:13] The story of his separation and divorce

[28:43] Telling the kids about their separation

[31:04] Advice for separation

[34:46] Agreements in parenting

[36:42] Managing complex demands

[39:46] Mistakes in fatherhood

[43:33] Rapid fire round

—

Production support for Startup Dad is provided by Tommy Harron at http://www.armaziproductions.com/

Episode art designed by Matt Sutherland at https://www.mspnw.com/

 

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit startupdadpod.substack.com