When I first started coaching, I came across the book “The Ever-Transcending Spirit: The Psychology of Human Relationships, Consciousness, and Development” by Toru Sato. In it he talks about the concept of stealing energy. When you have an energy deficit in yourself, you may try to get it from others by creating drama, manipulating, people-pleasing, punishing, etc. Yes, these are actually ways of trying to meet your own energy needs. You many not realize what you say or do is designed to trigger a reaction in someone else, as a way of stealing their energy, so you can temporarily feel better… like a quick “hit.”

If you pick fights with others and feel you have to win an argument or get them to agree with you, look at your motivation. Are you beating them up to steal their energy? Are you punishing them because you feel crappy and want to feel better? It’s ok if someone doesn’t agree with you, and it’s ok to feel empty or crazy, but it doesn’t give you the right to suck the life out of them. You have to look at what’s triggering you. Where are you ignoring your own feelings? The energy you try to get from someone else will never fill you up. Instead of using other people as punching bags, do something loving toward yourself. Only you can fill yourself up.