Stepfamily Central - Rachelle Katz, Ed.D.

Kids are vulnerable when their parents divorce and can be effected by it for many years. Today on Stepfamily Central, Rachelle discusses what children can experience when their parents divorce, as well as how they can be helped, with Dr. Jeannette Lofas. Jeannette is affectionately considered to be the wise woman of the stepfamily community and is a leading authority on stepfamilies. In fact, she won a presidential award for her work. She has written five books: among which is Living in Step, Stepparenting: Everything You Need to Know to Make It Work, How to Be A Parent, and He’s OK, She’s OK: Honoring the Differences Between Men and Women. Jeannette is the President and Founder of Stepfamily Foundation, Inc. Besides working with stepfamilies to help improve their lives, Jeannette trains mental health professionals to become stepfamily coaches and counselors. She is offering another certification class the weekend of April 26 & 27th of this year. You can find out more about Jeannette and her certification program by going to her website, http://www.stepfamily.org.

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Divorce is a tough situation, especially if you have kids. It’s difficult to be away from them, whether it’s for a small or large amount of time. Since non-custodial parents spend less time with their children, they have fewer opportunities to get to know what makes them tick. This can be extremely frustrating for that parent. Today on Stepfamily Central, Rachelle talks to Joel Schwartzberg, a father of three, and an award winning humorist and essayist, about being a non-custodial parent, and how to make the most of the time you do have with your children. Joel’s work has appeared in Newsweek, the New York Times Magazine, New Jersey Monthly, the NY Post, Stepmom Magazine among many other publications. His book, “THE 40-YEAR-OLD VERSION: HUMOIRS OF A DIVORCED DAD” can be found on Amazon.com where it’s in paperback or kindle, and has just been turned into an audio book as well. To find out more about Joel, go to his websites, bookfordad.com. or joelschwartzberg.net.

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Babies are such wonderful additions to any family. Before their births, they can bring up a host of emotions for families to experience, ranging from excitement to anxiety. While babies are welcomed with as much love into stepfamilies, these family members can experience a more diverse set of emotions. Rachelle talks about the variety of emotions a new baby can trigger for stepfamily members with Susan Davis Swanson, a psychotherapist who works with individuals and couples specializing in stepfamilies. Susan is the Executive Director and Founder of The StepFamily Center in Beverly Hills, California. She teaches therapists about how to work with stepfamilies and she publishes her own quarterly newsletter. She is a frequent contributor to Stepmom Magazine and appears quarterly on their “Ask the Experts” forum. In addition to her work with stepfamilies, Susan is a trauma therapist since 1998 and experienced in the use of EMDR and Somatics. You can find out more about Susan by going to her website, stepfamilycenter.com.

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Babies are such wonderful additions to any family. Before their births, they can bring up a host of emotions for families to experience, ranging from excitement to anxiety. While babies are welcomed with as much love into stepfamilies, these family members can experience a more diverse set of emotions. Rachelle talks about the variety of emotions a new baby can trigger for stepfamily members with Susan Davis Swanson, a psychotherapist who works with individuals and couples specializing in stepfamilies. Susan is the Executive Director and Founder of The StepFamily Center in Beverly Hills, California. She teaches therapists about how to work with stepfamilies and she publishes her own quarterly newsletter. She is a frequent contributor to Stepmom Magazine and appears quarterly on their “Ask the Experts” forum. In addition to her work with stepfamilies, Susan is a trauma therapist since 1998 and experienced in the use of EMDR and Somatics. You can find out more about Susan by going to her website, stepfamilycenter.com.

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Stepfamily life can be very challenging as anyone who has been part of one can attest. However, many relationships do endure the complexities and challenges of stepfamily life, and in fact thrive. What characteristics do these couples share? Rachelle discusses some of the qualities that happy, healthy re-partnered couples possess with Dianne Martin, a certified stepfamily counselor and social worker. Diane has a private practice in Canada where she works with individuals and couples, and also runs workshops and seminars for stepfamilies. She is a regular contributor to Stepmom Magazine.

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Many of us spend a good portion of our day feeling anger and resentful as a result of the challenges in our stepfamilies. Even though our feelings may be justified, they aren’t doing us any good. They may be contributing to all kinds of physical problems, such as heart disease and stomach ailments, and harming our relationships. Today on Stepfamily Central, Rachelle talks to psychotherapist and stepfamily coach, Susan Davis Swanson, about how you can overcome anger and resentment.

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Susan is the Executive Director and Founder of The StepFamily Center in Beverly Hills, California. She is a licensed psychotherapist working with individual and couples. As an expert on stepfamilies issues, she teaches therapists about how to help stepfamilies, and publishes her own quarterly newsletter. Susan is a frequent contributor to StepMom Magazine and appears quarterly on their “Ask the Experts” forum. In addition to her work with stepfamilies, Susan is a trauma therapist since 1998 and experienced in the use of EMDR and Somatics. You can find out more about Susan by going to her website, stepfamilycenter.com.

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To protect our privacy and personal space, we all need to establish clear boundaries by being able to say no to certain requests that are too difficult for us to complete. Boundaries are important in all areas of life, at work, in friendships, but they are especially important in stepfamilies, since there are so many members involved, each with a different set of potential issues. Rachelle discusses how to establish clear boundaries with Jenna Korf, a certified Stepfamily Foundation coach who works with stepmoms and step-couples. Jenna is the co-author with Jennifer Newcombe Marine of a brand-new book, Skirts at War; Divorced Mom/Stepmom Conflict. In addition to her new book. Jenna writes a regular column for Stepmom Magazine and is a blogger for The Huffington Post and No One’s the Bitch. She lives in Ithaca, New York with her husband, two teenage stepsons and her adorable pup, Astro. You can find out more about Jenna by going to her website, stepmomhelp.com.

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Our expectations play a large role in how we experience the present and anticipate the future. When couples remarry, most have expectations of what will take place. If these expectations don’t match the reality of what does happen, frustration, disappointment, and pain often develop. Today on Stepfamily Central, Rachelle discusses a few of the more common unrealistic expectations held by stepfamilies with Dianne Martin, a certified stepfamily counselor and social worker. Diane has a private practice in Canada where she works with individual and couples, and also runs workshops and seminars for stepfamilies. She regularly contributes to Stepmom magazine.

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Do you know what emotional intelligence is? It’s an intelligence that has to do with discerning and understanding emotional information, relating well to others, and achieving your goals. Rachelle discusses the importance of emotional intelligence and how stepmothers can develop more of it with Joan Sarin, a social psychologist who specializes in emotional intelligence training for children and parents. Joan is also a stepfamily coach, a writer for Stepmom Magazine, and is the author of The Emotionally Intelligent Stepmom, a book which will be released this summer.

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How ironic that Mother’s Day, a day meant to celebrate the contributions of mothers to their children’s lives, can be so painful for so many of the 15 million stepmothers who have stepchildren under the age of 18. These women don’t want much from their partners and stepchildren, just a simple acknowledgement of appreciation will do. Because of their stepchildren’s loyalty binds to their biological mothers and their husband’s lack of awareness that this holiday has meaning for them, many don’t get even a card.

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This week Rachelle interviews Mary T. Kelly, a marriage and family therapist from Boulder Colorado about various ways stepmothers can cope on Mother’s Day.

For the past decade, Mary has specialized in working with stepmoms, stepcouples and stepfamilies. She has a marriage and family therapy practice in Boulder, Colorado, and offers phone, Skype and Facetime coaching for stepmoms and stepcouples, as well as offering “intensive” one- to two- day coaching/therapy sessions. She created and teaches a workshop for stepcouples, “Married With Baggage: 8 Tips to Thriving in RePartnerships With Children”. Mary writes about stepfamilies for the Huffington Post and Stepmom Magazine.

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