“I just can’t get motivated”. “I know I need to (fill in the blank ___) BUT I DON’T WANNA!”. “My motivation goes away in the afternoon, doc. Do I need a higher dose of medication?”.
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What is motivation anyway? Why do we avoid, put off, get all wound up over tasks which are no big deal? And how can we find some?
Join me and my guest Dr. Tamara Rosier as we work through those questions. Tamara is an ADHD coach, founder of the ADD Center of Central Michigan, and the author of two superb books on ADHD (Your Brain’s Not Broken and You, Me, and Our ADHD Family), among her many roles in life. She explains her methods of unpacking motivation problems and offers a re-frame on how to get going, how to create motivation on our very own.
She tells us that people with ADHD struggle with motivation because they have erroneous expectations of consistent motivation and don’t have on-demand motivation like non-ADHD individuals. She outlined three key areas where motivation problems arise:
the “what” (sequencing tasks), the “when” (identifying peak motivation windows), andthe “how” (executing tasks). Motivation is based upon emotion, which raises all kinds of complications for those of us with ADHD.
Our discussion also explored how women with ADHD face additional challenges due to societal expectations around cleanliness and over-functioning in families, leading to shame and judgment. The “window of tolerance” is her concept for the optimal state between hyperarousal and hypoarousal, where people can think clearly about their personal situation, uncover the barriers to getting started, and learn how to use the time they are “in the time window” of tolerance, a time not disturbed by scrambling overactivity nor by mental exhaustion, to find motivation. Tamara shared practical strategies including using music, physical movement, and the shock effect of cold water (no, not poured over one’s head) to shift out of hypoarousal states. We concluded our discussion exposing some of the harmful beliefs about motivation, including the false belief that motivation requires high energy levels and that “I can’t” statements freeze us into inaction.
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