You’ve heard there are two sides to every story. Actually, there are as many sides as there are people involved because stories are based on perspectives. When you build a case against someone, believing you are right and they are wrong, you are sticking to your story (i.e. your version of reality). It’s all subjective, however, and your story becomes an illusion. When you cling to it, possibilities are restricted because everything needs to fit into what you believe is true. Your stories color everything, so understanding when your actions are based on a story is very important.

If you want a partner who fits into the story of how you want your life to be, you’ll look for that person through tunnel vision. Maybe you envision your home together, and how you want it decorated. You see that person accommodating you in every way. Then one day, your partner asserts him or herself and stops going along with the program. You’re completely thrown because they no longer support what you envisioned. You’re then left with a choice: stick to the story where you’re the good guy and he/she is the bad guy for changing their tune OR look at what’s going on and challenge your perspective. When you accept reality and see that you contributed to this situation, your options open up. You can always choose to change your story… you just need to recognize when you’re stuck in one.