STORIES TELLING STORIES

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, this isn’t about me, this is about YOU!!!”

Family Guy, the brainchild of Fox animation stalwart Seth McFarlane, carved a niche for itself by busting the formula of the animated sitcom that other such shows have followed for decades, including The Simpsons. More “Beavis and Butt-Head” than “Wait till Your Father Gets Home,” Family Guy was crass, immature, absurd, and occasionally brilliant. McFarlane’s creation single-handedly rewrote the book on animated comedy, whether you like it or not, infuriating censors, religious groups, and anyone curious enough to watch by pulling no punches and letting it all hang out. One episode in particular, the inspiration of today’s podcast, shows family patriarch Peter Griffin gaining great success in the world of literature by crafting his own take on the erotic, with his own aptly-named sub-genre “Peterotica.” Riffing on popular culture, he reimagines classic and modern literature as abstract descriptions of what a blue-collar worker would imagine high-class erotica to be, but accessible to his peers. While Peterotica doesn't outlive the episode in which it debuts, we are nonetheless going to immortalize it as only we can, and bring Peter Griffin’s erotic vision to life.

“There was so many boobs I didn’t know who’s boobs I was grabbing; my boobs or your boobs!!!”

Would there be a viable market for Peterotica in today’s society? Does this sort of “art form” constitute free-speech and therefore fall under the guise of parody to avoid legal complications? And if given the chance, would you bury your nose in “The Half Black Chick” or “Angela’s Asses?” This is Eric R Hill’s take on Peter Griffin’s “HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLACK CHICK,” as read by Daniel Radcliffe, on STORIES TELLING STORIES.

“I wasn’t dead, I was just really sick...”

Making his first appearance in episode 7G04 (the fourth episode of the first season) “THERE'S NO DISGRACE LIKE HOME,” Dr Marvin Monroe was an early recurring character with an obnoxious, gravelly voice that ultimately lead to his demise; being written off the show in season 7 due to irritation the voice caused actor Harry Shearer and the fact that Matt Groening, series creator, found it annoying. I can’t say I blame him. But the fact he was resurrected in episode 10 of season 15 “DIATRIBE OF A MAD HOUSEWIFE,” getting a copy of Marge’s novel “Harpoon my Heart” signed, is confusing nonetheless. But I digress... being a trailblazer in modern television, paving the way for television quacks like Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil, Dr Marvin Monroe made his mark although his time was short. Except it wasn’t, because he wasn’t actually dead. I guess. After nearly 30 years on the air, who’s to say what makes sense in that universe?

“Your dog isn’t the problem, YOU are!”

What words of wisdom does this briefly-mentioned self-help book have to teach us? Was this character better off dead? And based on his varying levels of expertise, did Marvin Monroe go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College, too? This is Eric R Hill’s take on I’M OKAY, WHY AREN’T YOU, by the immortal Dr Marvin Monroe, on STORIES TELLING STORIES.

“This is what I call aversion therapy... When someone hurts you emotionally, you will hurt them physically, and gradually you will learn not to hurt each other at all... And won't that be wonderful?”

“Well, it’s kind of about love and betrayal! The inner workings of the human mind!”

Whether you love the series or hate it, South Park, having been on the air for over 20 years, has carved an indelible mark into popular culture. Whether poking fun at politics or crossing every imaginable line one might define as decency, the twisted brainchild of Trey Parker and Matt Stone has nonetheless persisted and managed to stay relevant and just as fresh as ever. Episode 197; THE TALE OF SCROTIE MCBOOGERBALLS, the second episode of the 14th season, is no exception. A jab at censorship and our human need to find meaning in the meaningless, it’s as self-referential as it is poignant, as times and tastes have changed since the early days of Harper Lee’s “To Kill a Mockingbird.” Sometimes a blue curtain is a symbol of the writer’s despair, and sometimes butt cheese is just butt cheese.

“Sorry Dad, I was just bein' the voice of a generation.”

Does Butter’s sequel to THE TALE OF SCROTIE MCBOOGERBALLS really stack up to the original? Is the language too simplistic and two-dimensional for an audience accustomed to the soaring metaphors of the original, or is there truly a deeper meaning? And how exactly does a poop take a… nevermind… This is Eric R Hill’s take on Leopold “Butters” Stoch’s “THE POOP THAT TOOK A PEE” as read by Morgan Freeman, on STORIES TELLING STORIES.

“Oh it's raunchy alright! I know what my readers want, and I'm going to deliver!”

“My name is Darth Vader… I am an extraterrestrial from the planet Vulcan!!!”

What can one say about the timeless 80’s time-traveling comedy that hasn’t already been said? Old Man builds time machine. Old Man enrages Libyans. Libyans kill Old Man. Boy escapes in time machine. Boy almost destroys universe. Younger Old Man fixes Time Machine. Boy makes out with mother. Boy inspires Father. Boy kinda puts space-time continuum back together. Boy goes “back to the future.” New-Present is awesome and Father wrote a novel about it. Whoops... And old-younger-old man cheated at time and didn’t die.

“You mean you’re gonna touch her on her…”

Does the new 1985 still have Star Wars and Star Trek? Will George get sued for Darth Vader coming down from Vulcan? And is homelife super awkward after that tonsil hockey in the parking lot at the dance? This is Eric R Hill’s take on George McFly’s “A MATCH MADE IN SPACE” on STORIES TELLING STORIES.

The 1995 film BILLY MADISON, alongside an equal-classic HAPPY GILMORE helped launch the post-SNL career of Adam Sandler, and became the namesakes of his production company; HAPPY MADISON.  While at the beginning of his journey to re-education, Sandler’s BILLY MADISON finds himself in first grade, being read a book by the enigmatic Miss Lippy while the class prepares for naptime.  What follows is a woefully incomplete animal-based adventure novel that prepares us properly with plentiful alliteration, and jumps immediately to a warm-and-fuzzy resolution.  While Miss Lippy seems pleased with the story, Billy is not.  Clearly upset with how the young boy owner of the dog gave up in his search after an hour, he tells Miss Lippy exactly what he would’ve done in that situation, which sets the class up for a rousing game of dodgeball.

“I think it’s time to play dodgeball…”

What happened to the boy to cause him to give up his search so soon?  Where did the puppy disappear to when he was merely sniffing around the bushes?  And do you think Miss Lippy is still a Miss because of the odd paste-facial obsession?  Sit back, relax and enjoy… This is Eric R Hill’s take on Chrissy Taylor’s “THE PUPPY WHO LOST HIS WAY” on STORIES TELLING STORIES.

In today’s episode of STORIES TELLING STORIES, we take a look at Mrs. Hazeltine’s submarine story from the oft-ommitted 80’s classic “THROW MOMMA FROM THE TRAIN.”

“...dive, DIVE said the captain through the thing…”

The 1987 black comedy “TMFTT” is notable for being Danny DeVito’s directoral debut, as well as the only other film to star late-actress Anne Ramsey (of GOONIES fame) in the title role as DeVito’s cranky and cruel mother “Mrs. Lift.” OWEN LIFT is a man-child of sorts who was never allowed the chance to grow up and escape the grasp of his overbearing mother. Finding an outlet in a community college class, taught by Billy Crystal’s PROFESSOR DONNER, we discover a colorful cast of characters all vying for the opportunity to become better storytellers. Within this class, we discover an opinionated older woman, known only as MRS HAZELTINE who crafts a wartime submarine story without such key details as the name of certain instruments or the captain’s name; just a fellow seaman named DAVE, the use of questionable similes, and a seemingly abrupt and anticlimactic ending.

“...his guts oozed nice like a melted malted…”

Where did these seamen come from? From what enemy do they make such a daring escape? And who the hell is DAVE? It’s time to find out, as MRS HAZELTINE’S Submarine Story comes to life, 30 years after the original, with the world’s first fully fleshed-out telling… Sit back, relax, and enjoy… This is STORIES TELLING STORIES…

“HOLY $#!^! WHAT A DREAM I WAS HAVING! Louis Armstrong was trying to kill me!”