Stressless Eating

Do you ever wonder why time and time again you set a goal, but you cannot seem to reach it? Or maybe you fall in the category of "I know what to do, but I can't get myself to do it"?

It's super-tempting to just want to do SOMETHING -- to not let your circumstances get worse or to keep feeling like a failure when it comes to your goals.

And that's why most women end up impulsively committing to a new diet, attempting Whole30 or Keto, or go​ing​ back to Weight Watchers for the umpteenth time….

There's no judgement. I totally get it. I used to do the very same thing all the time!

But here's what I can tell you with 1000% certainty:

It's an unwinnable game.

Because the truth is:

All things work. They ALL work...until they don't anymore.

Things go great for 30 days or a few weeks, but what happens after that?

That dreaded 'Bounce Back Effect' every single time.

Sure you lose some weight, gain some confidence, and feel good for a while. But then you simply gain it back (or have to GIVE it back) -- usually with interest!

It exhausts you. It sucks the life out of you.

And the worst part? It doesn't even work!

Not in the long term at least...

Because as soon as you go "off" whatever 'wagon' you've committed to (and you ALWAYS eventually go off it, because who can live like that forever?)...

Tendencies are that we go WAAAAY off.

And that's why it FEELS like your goals keep failing you.

But your GOALS are not the problem in this equation. It's how you're THINKING about your goals that's keeping you stuck on this roller coaster.

So are you ready to stop that cycle in its tracks?

Laura Lea Bryant is back on the Stressless Eating Podcast to help me shed some light on this frustrating topic.

Susan had been living in a 40-year food and diet prison, and she didn't know how to get out. Diets eluded her, and even though she had hope that there was a better way to go about her relationship with food, her body, and her health, she was almost at that point that she felt helpless. Food and her body was a topic that carried a lot of shame and guilt. And she had almost completely convinced herself that this was just the way things were going to be.

Her relationship with herself and those around her was suffering which added another level of guilt caused by not showing up as the woman, wife, mom, and therapist that she knew wanted to be.

Feeling she had tried everything under the sun, Susan scheduled a call with me and took a leap of faith to finally commit to herself. Accepting that the road to peace, love and happiness with herself was a long term game, she began taking steps toward healing her body & mind and reclaiming her life.

But as you'll learn, it's never too late! In this interview she shares how her 54-year old therapist self got her life back, took back her power, and broke free from a 40-year food and dieting PRISON!

Back when I owned my Fitness studio for women, I used to offer this thing called a "28 Day Holiday Body Challenge".

Every single year, 50 or so women (that would otherwise be gaining weight during that tricky time between Halloween and New Year's) would sign up to work with me while I guided them through the process of "dropping pounds fast" or "getting in your skinny jeans by New Years" or "getting rid of that muffin top" (or whatever words I was using at the time.)

It wasn't rocket science:

I would put them on a calorie-restricted meal plan, have them come to my studio (at least) 3 days per week to work out, and then strategically use the holidays (like Thanksgiving Day or Christmas Day) as a "cheat day".

And of course (as you do when you're in "weight loss challenge" mode), we took pictures, measurements, and body fat percentages to measure their progress.

As you can probably imagine pounds were dropped. Physiques were chiseled. And body-shaping happened right before my very eyes.

It ALL worked until it didn't anymore.

Things were great for 30 days or 6 weeks, but what happened after that?

Well that's the part that my own shame and fear of failure didn't allow myself to share for a long time.

Because the truth is, come January 1st, that dreaded 'Bounceback Effect' was already in full force:

• They had grown TIRED of seeking out the energy to monitor, count, measure, and track every morsel of food that touched their lips.
• Their bodies were exhausted, sore, over trained, and in need of some major recovery after the (literal and metaphorical) sprint they just participated in.
• Their mojo was shot! They spent all that time and energy using their limited stores of willpower and motivation to keep things going for those few weeks.

Looking back I know exactly why it happened too. We only made over PART of them.

We didn't do what needed to be done on the INSIDE: the head work, addressing the problem, and creating actual brain-change.

We never addressed the CAUSE of their struggles, their RELATIONSHIP with food, or their RELATIONSHIP with their body.

We just essentially threw another diet, another plan, and another short-term band-aid at it.

What if instead of committing to ANOTHER diet or ANOTHER 'fix' you:

• first identified what is clearly NOT working?
• simply created an awareness of what NOT to do more of -- the road NOT to keep going down?
• simply started becoming an 'observer' instead of a 'doer' or 'action-taker'?

Most WON'T do this. Most women will go start looking for the next diet, the next game of "control myself", the next action item. But those that DO -- those that stop the 'definition of insanity' (doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results)...they'll find that their journey to healing and to finally ENDING the suffering and struggling can finally begin!

So let's talk about this, shall we? Instead of making it so hard, so complex, let's talk about making it EASIER!

As in, take the time and energy ONE time to learn the language of stressless eating; a language that gets easier the more you practice it and you get better at it the more you practice it so it just becomes you... VS dieting that gets HARDER and you get WORSE at it.

Let's talk about THAT kind of thinking for a change.

I get asked all the time by stressed out dieters and women that are SICK of thinking about food:

They ask me, Leanne, "Does it ever get easier?"

The answer is Yes AND No depending how you look at it:

Here are a couple of the ways it looks like to practice hard:

★ CONTROL: This includes restriction, deprivation, punishment, persuasion, counting, weighing, measuring, micro-managing, obsession.

★ PAIN: This means physical, mental, or emotional pain. Practicing anything that is soul-sucking, energy-robbing, smile-stealing, stress-inducing, or that you outright do not like or do not enjoy.

★ EXTREMISM: This means all the black/white, all in/all out mentalities, using language labeling things as "good/bad", "wrong/right", "should/shouldn't", "always/never", or committing to anything that causes you to sacrifice your happiness, peace of mind, or freedom for results.

And here are some of the ways it looks like to practice ease:

★ FREEDOM: This is about feeling like we have a choice; an abundance of choices. Feeling like we have influence over ourselves and our behaviors (rather than THEM controlling US). Feeling FREE; not chained to or confined by rules and regulations and especially diets.

★ CONSISTENCY: If you're not able to get yourself to do it consistently, you'll never get the 'returns'. You're better off working in MINIMUMS and doing things consistently, rather than working in MAXIMUMS and doing it sporadically. Consistency is the key. Consistency over intensity all day every day. Which is the opposite of most diets.

★ SUSTAINABILITY: Anything that we can see ourselves doing not just a week from now...but 1, 3, 12 months from now. Anything that doesn't fit in this category is bound to be a time-limited 'thing' that will eventually get HARDER the more we practice it.

This is how you practice ease. And if you're anything like me (and I was dieting my whole life), this is not the stuff that usually comes alongside dieting. And that's why you need a whole new way of thinking which again might seem foreign to a lot of women listening.

And yes again...you can play the diet game over and over again and never break the cycle, or you can do what we are doing right here and now which is to CHANGE YOUR THINKING so you can get different results. But if you want to DO differently, you must THINK differently.

Most WON'T do this. Most women will go start looking for the next diet, the next game of "control myself", the next action item. But those that DO, those that stop the 'definition of insanity' (doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results) they'll find that their journey to healing and to finally ENDING the suffering and struggling can finally begin!

A few weeks ago, a dear friend of mine double-dog dared me to enter into the Miss Tennessee for America beauty pageant.

Among other reasons, he knew that because it was SO far outside my comfort zone, there was a massive breakthrough waiting for me on the other side of it. But as he said to me that day, I had to get "on the court" in order to find it.

My immediate reaction was "No way! Are you kidding me? Me? Enter into a beauty pageant?"

The voices in my head immediate said:

"You're too old!"

"You're not a size 2!"

"You're too much [fill-in-the-blank] or not enough [fill-in-the-blank]!"

"You know nothing about pageants!"

And then a higher voice said:

"That's exactly why you need to do it Leanne! This is your chance to re-define (and help others re-define) what beauty IS and what it is NOT -- that beauty doesn't have to mean a certain shape, a certain age, a certain size… that beauty is not a SEEING, it's a BEING."

So what did I do? At the ripe ol' age of 37, with no experience, no knowledge, and not a clue about anything beauty-pageant-related, I signed up to compete less than 2 weeks out.

⭐️ It was the EPITOME of me facing my own deepest fears, insecurities, and comparison-itus tendencies.

⭐️ It was my own self-image and body-image experiment to break through my own self-limiting beliefs.

⭐️ It was an experience I'm honestly still processing, and really just figuring out how to share right now.

In this episode of the podcast, I share the details of how everything went down, but in the meantime, I'll just summarize my experiences by saying this:

YOU get to say who you ARE and who you are NOT.

If you want to do ANYTHING, the only thing stopping you are those voices in your head saying you CAN'T or saying you WON'T.

Four weeks ago, I thought you had to be a 'skinny mini' or in your 20's be in a beauty pageant, but after my experience , I think it's safe to say that's just not the case.

And just in case you're wondering, spoiler alert: this 'non-beauty-pageant gal' was chosen as:

⭐️Placed 3rd Runner Up for the State of Tennessee

⭐️Was voted on to be an Ambassador for The Miss for America Organization

⭐️Am The Official "Miss East Nashville"

Never say never. Because you might just surprise yourself. I sure did! ❤️

Listen to the full episode of the podcast where I go through the in's and outs of my experience entering a beauty pageant!

Let's be honest:

Your inner critic can be brutal.

And after a while, it can wear you down.

We all have that version of ourselves that we wish would just go away.

The version that preys on our insecurities, takes us away from our goals, and generally makes us feel not so nice.

I call that your Inner-Bitch.

We've talked a lot about (what I call) the weight of the weight. There's 4 of them in total, and we briefly touched on #2 in another episode: the weight of walking around with your Inner bitch running the show.

Specifically....

The 'weight' of harsh judgements, self-criticism, guilt, shame, blame, comparison-itus, and perfectionism that lives in our Self-Image & Self-Talk.

(AND the EMOTION that typically comes alongside food...and it doesn't have to)

If you have a voice in your head :

• That voice judging you based on what or how much you do or don't eat…
• That voice telling you that "this is just how you are" or "this is how you'll always be"
• That inner-critic whispering in your ear all the things you are NOT doing, reminding you of what you DON'T like about yourself, or all the ways you're FAILING.
• That voice telling you you're not enough– that you'll never skinny enough, successful enough, pretty enough, good enough – enough period.

I call that your inner Bitch, and THAT is the real weight that needs to be ditched. You've got to stop feeding her.

In last week's episode of the podcast, I told you all about the 5 Ingredients that (I wholeheartedly believe) comprise your Self-Image.

I definitely invite all women to go define these ingredients for themselves, because we all have our own unique recipe.

As in: MY recipe won't work for you, and YOURS won't work for me.. We all need our own.

But before I can get into the in's and outs of THAT with my clients, I believe it's really important that they understand what's STANDING IN THEIR WAY from having a powerful and loving and confident Self-Image.

And that's what this episode is dedicated to helping you discover: What's standing in your way (and what to do about it).

So without further ado...

How to ditch YOUR Inner Bitch in 5 Easy Steps:

Step #1. Ditch the Guilt

Guilt says: "I ate a cookie. That act or sin was "bad"wrong or unhealthy"." (The word guilt literally means "sin/crime".)

Guilt and shame are reactions on the same continuum. They share the same data or"the account of what actually happened": (I ate the cookie in this example.). They simply entail different summaries, meanings, or translations of that event.

Are you calling food, fat, calories, or carbs bad or good? Is it healthy or unhealthy? Should or shouldn't. Again these hard and fast rules about food and the diet mentality are almost always going to cause guilt as a by product. Be super mindful of your language and where guilt is becoming a weapon against yourself.

And this is just another example where it's not the food that's the problem -- it's who you're being while you're eating... and the framework and 'diet mentality' that's causing it. And of course I'm talking about food, but it's true with anything.

Step #2. Ditch the Shame.

Shame is feeling bad about who you ARE based on what you did. Calling yourself names, living in an emotional home where you're ashamed of who you are because of something that you did.

Eating that cupcake does not mean that you are 'weak-willed' or a 'self-sabotager'. In fact nothing about what you do or don't do has to mean anything about who you are as a person, but that's the part that we are walking around not even realizing.

Here's the reality, I'm not telling you that you need to love all of your decisions or actions, but you don't need to confuse your actions with who you are either. You also don't need to apologize for how you feel, and you certainly don't need to apologize for your past, hide yourself, disgrace yourself, or shame yourself for what you did or didn't do.

Step #3. Ditch the Blame

Blame can show up in a number of ways. Whether it's pinning faults on yourself, someone else, or something else, it doesn't actually change or solve anything and it essentially gives up ownership of your life. It also keeps you focusing on the past or focusing on the problem itself. (and you know we create more of what we focus on)

The only way to truly own your life is to take RADICAL ownership and responsibility for it -- but notice I didn't say blame. Sometimes things happen and there is no logical explanation, and it doesn't need to be anyone's fault per se -- it could just be something that happened -- even if we don't like it.

Next time you are looking to assign blame to someone or something, ask yourself: "Will this really change anything?". Then focus on what you CAN influence, what you CAN do about the situation, and how you DO want to feel.

Step #4. Ditch the Comparison

Compare literally means 'to liken or rival'. Let's nip this one in the butt, shall we? There is no one like you, never has been, and never will be. There is no competition or fight or rivalry. And if there is one –it's not real….at least it doesn't have to be. It's in your head – – and most likely it is not serving you.

They say comparison is the thief of joy, and I believe this couldn't be more true. Comparison can be a valuable tool. It can help us create distinctions in our mind, figure out our own preferences, and generally help us detect apples from oranges. BUt...Comparison can also be used as a weapon to judge, shame, and critique ourselves (and others). Comparison to what you shoulda, woulda, or coulda done…or where you should be, would be, or could be. It can easily turn someone, something, or some experience into a negative or harmful encounter if you are not aware.

What if you just started owning the fact that you are uniquely you and you're not meant to be a carbon copy of someone else? What if you noticed the differences you share between yourself and someone else, but didn't use it as a weapon to judge yourself, critique yourself, or shame yourself? What if you started with self-acceptance first, comparison second?

We are wired to make comparisons, judgments, and associations. Saying not to do so isn't realistic. But know who. what, why and how you are comparing. If it is not serving you and your happiness, I suggest you own it, or it will most certainly own you.

Step #5. Ditch the Perfectionism

Call it what you want. Perfectionism, control, micro-managing everything you do or say. If it serves you, that's great. Truth is I've yet to meet a woman that doesn't drive herself crazy over it.

I refer to perfectionism as a 'losing game', because it's this unattainable thing, and it's really just an attempt at control. Most people think it's the highest standard, but my mentor pointed out to me that it's the LOWEST standard... because it's unattainable!

It's perfectly natural to desire that certain things happen in a certain way, but when we create requirements that everything happens according to plan (requirements to be happy, to feel successful, to feel good about ourselves), that's when it backfires. And it's only because we will never truly be able to control everything and everyone in our lives or ourselves. It's an impossibility. But we do have the power to INFLUENCE ourselves and our lives to our greatest abilities. Influence what we can and release what we can't.

Bottom line, if you can identify where you are talking to yourself about yourself through the eyes of guilt, shame, blame, comparison-itus, or perfectionism and start talking to yourself like you with acceptance, compassion, and understanding, your life is going to completely change.

I know it's simple (not easy), and I'll be the first to admit that this isn't the thing that changes overnight without serious commitment and a proven strategy and plan, but I wouldn't be who I am if I didn't at least help you see what the REAL problem is.

Check out the full episode of the podcast where I go into detail on these 5 steps and help you learn how to implement them for yourself.

Back in the day, before I lost all that weight and made over my body….AND Long before I was doing what I do now, I was a high-achieving woman, highly-motivated, lady on a mission that just wanted to feel beautiful, feel proud of my life and my accomplishments, and simply be HAPPY!

So I went and did what any woman would do with (a lot) of weight to lose, a hope, and a dream:

★ I went on every diet, plan, and program I could imagine.

★ I hired coaches, joined masterminds, and attended retreats and events.

★ I even went back to therapy!

And it worked…to an extent.

But fast forward to the part where I 'had it all' – to the part in the story where I SHOULD have been happy and content.

As you've learned from me sharing bits and pieces of my journey, you know that that's not how the story went down AT ALL.

In reality, even AFTER I lost one-third of my body weight, built a successful business, and checked off all those proverbial 'tick-boxes' I thought I needed to be happy…

I was NOT happy.

Because Self-Love has a unique recipe. It has its own magical ingredients.

I tried skipping steps!

I tried cutting corners and fast-forwarding through the process. I tried leaving out ingredients.

And I believe that when the recipe is crafted (and then followed),(which is exactly what I do with all of my Stressless Eating clients), it hands-down-every-time brings YOU ( the 'chef' of this recipe I speak of) from feeling:

Okay so let's talk about the 5 Ingredients (Goggles) Of Your Self-Image:

Ingredient #1: Self-Care: And what i mean by that is Figuring out what it would take for you to care for yourself (as a verb and a noun) physically, mentally, socially/emotionally, spiritually, relationally….all of it?

So...that being said….Do you truly feel like you know how to take CARE of yourself?

I have found that most women don't.

They might know how to 'get fit' or 'get healthy' for a little while, but after adversity strikes they go right back to their default.

Or maybe you know how to take care of yourself PERSONALLY, but on the mental and emotional levels, you feel like you need some help?

Ingredient #2: Self-Acceptance: Figuring out what it would look like (and feel like) for you to fully accept yourself without exception. Figuring out how to accept WHO you are and WHERE you are (without all that shame, blame, guilt, comparison, and perfectionism).

There's actually few sides to this. The first side is one that isn't rocket science and it's not THAT different than what a lot of the self love messages out there are sharing.

And that's….What it would feel like for you to fully accept yourself without exception?

I mean FULLY accept yourself-- 'warts' and all. Not when you lose the weight or make more money. I mean...right now.

Ingredient #3: Self-Worth: Understanding what you are 'weighing', what you are measuring, and the 'currency' that you are living your life (judging yourself) by.

What are you 'weighing' and what are you measuring?

Are you judging yourself 24 hours a day based on the size of your jeans, your career status, or the number of 'likes' you got on Facebook?

Or are YOU defining and setting the 'currency' that you want to be measuring yourself by and working towards THAT?

Ingredient #4 Self-Esteem: Understanding the 'know, like, and trust' factor of yourself.

Do you know, like, and trust yourself?

Most women are walking around feeling very UNtrusting of themselves.

Because somewhere along the lines they stopped believing themselves when they made promises to themselves.

Ingredient #5: Self-Endorsement: Figuring out who you are (and how you feel about yourself) regardless of what anyone else thinks.

Here's the truth:

It's not practical (or even possible) for any woman to "not care" what other people think about her. Our brains are WIRED to care -- especially the FEMALE brain! We are WIRED to actively notice other people's opinions and judgments MORE than the male brain (I'll share more about this specific part of the brain in another episode)...

But here's what IS possible:

It's possible to figure out what it would take for YOU to value your own opinion of yourself more so (even just a little bit more so) than someone else's opinion of you.

This is the recipe to your FREEDOM and happiness and peace of mind. And at the end of the day -- that's what you want! You might think you want to lose weight or be smaller or attract a better mate or make more money or whatever….but I promise you, what you really want is how you think you'll feel if you get those things. But if you don't address the self image and body image that's causing you to think and act and feel and behave the way you are right now…..you'll always end up back where you are.

That's why I truly believe that a brain based approach and a self image solution is the only pathway to permanent transformation -- not just short term change.

And in this episode I'm going to detail the 5 ingredients to the recipe that you need to create true and lasting change in YOUR life.

Diet after diet had left Jenna feeling hopeless and in a dark place. Food was a topic that carried a lot of shame and guilt. And she had almost completely convinced herself that this was just the way things were going to be. She believed the scale was just going to keep increasing while her control, happiness and self worth continued to decrease.

Her relationship with herself and those around her was suffering which added another level of guilt caused by not showing up as who she wanted to be.

Feeling she had tried everything in the book, Jenna scheduled a call with me and took a leap of faith to finally commit to herself. Accepting that the road to peace, love and happiness with herself was a long term game, she began taking steps toward healing her body & mind and reclaiming her life.

In this interview she shares her amazing journey, her hesitations, her radical transformation, and what enabled her to finally set herself free.

I've been on diets and weight loss programs since the age of 7.

I got really good at outsmarting whatever plan or program I was on.

I got really good at "fake it till you make it" and motivational pump-me-ups.

I got really good at tricking the scale, tricking my stomach, and tricking my mind.

I got really good at living my life hungry, tired, miserable and restricted.

Yup I mastered them alright, but there was a major cost.

When it came to social interactions, instead of getting excited about connecting with people I love, I was getting STRESSED about what to eat or how my body appeared when I was with them.

Instead of engaging and focusing in on the conversations or connections at hand, I was focusing on what I 'should' or 'shouldn't' eat….and if I should get dessert or not!

So yea, I had motivation, discipline, and willpower in-check.

And I was indeed able to sculpt that rockin' body, toned tushy, and 'healthy lifestyle' that I always dreamed of having.

But...

Food was the boss of me.

I was a slave to my brutal workout routine to ensure that I didn't gain anything back.

Because no matter how motivated or disciplined I got myself to be on a day to day basis, food and exercise still ruled my every move.

If you have (what I call) a Fat Head sitting on top of your body, you will always be carrying around the weight of the weight.

Most women think they have a weight 'problem' or a food 'problem' or a laziness 'problem', but I don't believe that any of those things are the problem.

Women are indeed walking around with a weight 'problem', but it's the weight of the weight that is weighing them down.

THAT is the weight that is truly weighing you down and KEEPING you on this rollercoaster of a ride with your body.

So how can you tell if you're using food and exercise as a tool to get yourself healthy? Or if you're using it as a weapon: a weapon of punishment, control, restriction, or shame.

There's 4 different signs and symptoms that I talk about with my clients, and we are going to talk about all of them.

Symptom #1 : You use food as a Weapon of Mass Control.

When your 'diet brain' is the one calling the shots, it's only natural that it might start to feel like food controls YOU more than you control IT.

And this is when food has the tendency to become a means for you to control yourself, compare yourself, or judge yourself.

Symptom #2 : You use your body as a Weapon of Mass Control.

Again when your default brain is the one in charge, you might feel like your body controls YOU more than you control IT – as in, you feel like a prisoner in your own body or a prisoner to your weight or size.

And this is when you might have the tendency to use your body to control yourself, compare yourself, or judge yourself….or control, compare, and judge your body.

Symptom #3 : You walk around feeling weighed down by whatever plan or program you are (or aren't) following.

If your gameplan is sucking the fun out of your life and bogging you down, chances are you are never going to stick with it, and it's going to end up being another short term band-aid and you'll end up putting it in the category of "great here's another thing I tried that didn't work for me".

Symptom #4 : You're waiting for the weight to go live your life the way you really want to.

Thinking things like "when I lose the weight then I'll wear that, commit to that, feel that way, be [successful/happy/loved/fill-in-the-blank]", that's a sign that your Fat Head is doing the talking.

I'm not saying not to want more for your future (by all means, aim high!). But if future-thinking is causing you to miss out on your life right now, there's a good chance you're waiting for the weight to live your best life.

Your life is happening right now. If you spend all your time living, worrying, or projecting into the future, you're going to miss out on your life. Don't wait for the weight to start living your life as your most beautiful, powerful, and confident self. Because I promise you: you don't have to.

You're allowed to want more for yourself. I say go make those changes, set those goals, and take your life to the next level.

But don't turn into your own internal super-bitch just to get there.

And know when you are using food, your body, or the experience itself as a weapon against yourself rather than a tool of freedom.

Hopefully today's episode gave you the insight YOU needed to figure out what that looks like for you, and whatever you do, don't give up on your freedom.

I used to think that I HAD to live in that diet prison -- filled with all that control and shame and stress. But there is a better way, I promise you that-- so don't give up on carving out your own freedom. Don't believe the lie that this is how you have to live! Because you were meant for SO. much. more.

In this episode of Stressless Eating we talk about four tell-tale signs to help you discover if you too are using food & exercise as a weapon AND if so, how you can change that!

Do you struggle with overeating?

Do you feel stuck on that all-or-nothing Diet 'Roller Coaster'?

Well don't worry, you are SO not alone! Do you know how many women I talk to that are in exactly the same 'place'?

Hopping from one diet to the next -- knowing in their heart-of-hearts that it might have a different name or different 'rules', but it's just another version of the SAME thing:

Restriction. Micromanaging what you eat or how much you exercise. Relying on willpower and motivation to get you through it. And OBSESSION! Always thinking about food or your body or your weight!

It's friggin' exhausting!

Overeating comes in many shapes and sizes:

Whatever form it comes in, it's REALLY hard on us — mind, body, spirit, and mojo.

I'm sure you've noticed this too, right?

★ It causes us to feel bad physically — whether it's the discomfort of eating too much or the lethargy we get when we are in a 'food coma', it's actually really hard on our bodies.

★ It causes us to feel bad about OURSELVES — feeling powerless to control ourselves over food, feeling like a failure, or feeling frustrated because even though we are smart and accomplished and amazing in so many ways, this food 'thing' still isn't in-check.

★ It causes us to show up differently in our lives — whether that's in our relationships because we are ashamed of how we look or feel, our ability to feel like a good 'role model' to our family, children, co-workers, friends etc.

So why do we do it?

Here's the thing: we all have our different cause-and-effect cycle for overeating, so what I'm going to do is simply share the 3 most common ones that came up in my life and the most common ones I see in my clients' lives.

1) The Diet Mentality.

Whenever we are playing the game of "eat less, move more" or the game of control, restriction, deprivation, and obsession or the game of "can/can't have that", "should/shouldn't eat that", or "good/bad, wrong/right" foods…it's only a matter of time before we can't take it any longer.

2) If you still have an EMOTIONAL or STRESSFUL relationship with food.

When you have an emotional relationship with food, it doesn't matter what LOGICAL plan you have about what you are going to eat, because your EMOTIONS will eventually win out.

It's not your fault. There's nothing wrong with you if you have an emotional relationship with food. It's a brain 'thing' — a connection that got created that can be re-wired any time.

3) You haven't ever fully COMMITTED to transforming your relationship with food.

So when it comes to ending this struggle and suffering around food, you cannot dabble. This is not something that goes away on it's own and it doesn't fix itself.

So…. Why do we overeat? Why do we commit to something and then ruin it by ditching our plans….and again over eat, over indulge, over consume?

The solution does not live in another diet, program, or plan. (And trust me: I tried to out-diet and out-will my food struggles and sugar addictions for DECADES!)

Because...

When you change what you're seeing and what you're saying (and yes! You also need a better STRATEGY!)...

THAT is when the diet madness can finally come to an end, and the real healing can begin.

Then (and only then) can you finally be free.

And in this episode I'm going to take you through the ins and outs of all of this to help you figure out why you can't stop overeating.

Rewind about 12 years ago…

My anesthesiologist has me counting backwards from 100 as the surgical team gets ready to go in microscopically and remove the calcified, hardened disc fluid that had been sitting on my nerves for the past 8 months.

A procedure I endearingly call, the Cost of Skinny…

I was so focused on getting 'skinny' or 'lean' or 'toned' or 'hot' or whatever words ruled my brain at the time, that I didn't pay attention or tune in to what my body needed and what my body was screaming at me to do.

If only I had listened to the screams from my body to "slow down!", "chill out!", "and while you're at it, go eat a friggen sandwich Leanne!", maybe it could have all been avoided.

But I didn't care! I just wanted to be skinny and beautiful. And no back pain or injury or pesky flare-up was gonna stop me!

Until it finally did stop me.

It didn't just stop me—it landed me on an operating table at Cleveland Metro for major spine surgery at the ripe ol' age of 25.

But that was just the tip of the iceberg.

And it certainly was not the ONLY Cost of Skinny…

When I started looking back at my life, I realized that decades of the "Diet Mentality' and all the self-loathing that came alongside it had a cost that I didn't even know to look for — that I didn't even know to try to avoid.

★ A Food Prison that had me chained to the handcuffs of restriction, deprivation, control, and OBSESSING over every morsel of food that touched my lips…or (when I couldn't possibly take it any longer) veering over to the OPPOSITE side: care-free abandonment, eating everything in sight, feeding my sugar addictions, and using food to comfort, distract, or numb myself. (And then of course the cascade of guilt, shame, and self-loathing that would follow suit).

★ A Body Prison where I felt like I was walking around in a body that didn't reflect the woman I really was — like the outsides didn't match the insides — but that I felt powerless to change. A prison of wearing 'fat clothes', covering my body with cardigans, and refusing to wear shorts or tank tops (or god forbid be seen in a bathing suit!) even when it was 95 degrees outside. Not to mention allowing my body to BE the barrier that kept me from doing what I wanted to do, feeling how I wanted to feel, and showing up as the version of myself that I really was…but I just couldn't access her.

★ A Shame Prison where I was outright ashamed that (after decades on this planet) I was STILL struggling with food, still struggling with my body, and still on this up-and-down roller coaster. I felt like a fraud — like if anyone ever "found me out" they would see how crazy or broken I really was. And of course there was the shame that followed me around every single day because of the identity that I had created about my struggles — that I WAS my body, that I WAS my addictions, that I WAS a failure.

And of course…

★ A 'Fat Head' that (no matter how much weight I lost or how 'successful' I became) my Self-Image saw me through goggles seeing me as 'fat', 'unloveable', a 'failure', 'embarrassing', and that I would never be enough — skinny enough, successful enough, enough period.

And all of this left me in a prison of pain, disconnection, and loneliness.

Physically. Mentally. Emotionally.

And in those moments of clarity, that's when I realized:

"Whoa! This is not unique to ME!"

Every woman that feels stuck on the diet and weight loss Roller Coaster is paying their own Cost of Skinny too!

And in this episode of the Stressless Eating Podcast we get into the in's and out's of how to avoid YOUR 'Cost of Skinny' in your own journey.