Sucker Punched

When the calendar changed from 2022 to 2023, many people took a deep breath, let out a sigh, and wished things were different. While others were brainstorming resolutions or picking a word to focus their intentions on, those of us who have experienced loss were accepting the fact that we were entering yet another year without loved ones. What do you do when a new year is less of a fresh start and more of a reminder that you're bringing grief into the new year with you?

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Atlas Tea Club: BeckyLMcCoy.com/Atlas A Hole in the World by Amanda Held Opelt Notes on Grief by Chimamanda Ngozi AdichieGrief Library: http://BeckyLMcCoy.com/GriefLibrary 4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

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For most of my life, I would've proudly called myself a perfectionist. Doing things well and with precision is important to me. But over the years I've realized that the 'perfectionist' label is one of the most unhealthy stories I've told myself.

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Shop 30% OFF Our Place Cookware: BeckyLMcCoy.com/OurPlace The Girl Who Never Made Mistakes by Mark Pett How to Be an Imperfectionist by Stephen Guise Present over Perfect by Shauna Niequist When Perfect Isn't Good Enough by Martin M. Antony & Richard P. Swinson 4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

FIND BECKY ONLINE: Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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Feeling in control can give us an illusion of being safe. Safe from loss. Safe from trauma. Safe from feeling any bad feelings. And when - despite our best efforts - we can't predict or control everything that happens to us, we feel like we've failed or (worse) that we are the failure itself. It's an exhausting, defeating cycle that can leave you wondering if being an adult means being either in control or a complete failure. There's got to be a better way.

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: 40% of Spiritual Direction & Coaching with Becky: BeckyLMcCoy.com/SpiritualDirection-FlashSale Shop Our Place Cookware: BeckyLMcCoy.com/OurPlace Mindset by Carol Dwek What Do You Do With a Problem by Kobi Yamada How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big by Scott Adams 4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

FIND BECKY ONLINE: Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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Sometimes when we share the innermost parts of ourselves we leave the encounter feeling like we've been stripped bare, sometimes even flayed on the altar of vulnerability. It can even feel like a hangover - like you can't face the world and your whole self is now too tender to even try. 

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Shop Our Place Cookware: BeckyLMcCoy.com/OurPlace
Daring Greatly by Brené Brown
Vulnerability is my Superpower by Jackie Davis
You are Your Best Thing by Tarana Burke
4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

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Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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We all experience loneliness. And we all have a built in desire to feel like we belong. But when we realize that loneliness and belonging can co-exist - what do we do with that?

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
40% of Spiritual Direction & Coaching with Becky: BeckyLMcCoy.com/SpiritualDirection-FlashSale
Shop Our Place Cookware: BeckyLMcCoy.com/OurPlace
The Great Belonging by Charlotte Donlon
The Art of Belonging by Charles Vogl
All the Lonely People by Mike Gayle
4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

FIND BECKY ONLINE:
Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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Links may be affiliate links, so you're supporting this podcast when you buy through them. Thanks!

When it comes to friendship, there's some kind of unspoken fear that we have to have it all together or our friends won't want to be our friends anymore. Do you find yourself worrying that if your friends could see your *insert weakness, fault, or fear here* they'd go running? What if friendship was less about two perfect people finding each other and more about finding the people who compliment and fit in with your own humanity?

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Shop Rothy's Shoes: BeckyLMcCoy.com/Rothys
Big Friendship by Aminitou Sow and Ann Friedman
Friendship in the Age of Loneliness by Adam Smiley Poswolsky
The Art of Showing Up by Rachel Wilkerson Miller
4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

FIND BECKY ONLINE:
Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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If friends aren't the people we play with at recess or live down the hall from in the college dorm, what are they? Why do we need them if not to have a friend for hide and seek or someone to share the highs and lows of growing up with? Why do we even need friends at all?

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Shop Rothy's Shoes: BeckyLMcCoy.com/Rothys
Thank You, Omu! by Oge Mora
How We Show Up by Mia Birdsong
The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker
4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

FIND BECKY ONLINE:
Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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You know that healthy friendships are an essential part of your mental health and well-being, but it feels like making friends as an adult should be easier. Why does it seem like everyone else has it figured out and you're just sitting there hoping for someone to adopt you and be best friends forever and never have to make a new friend again?

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Shop Rothy's Shoes: BeckyLMcCoy.com/Rothys
Discernment by Henri Nouwen
Daring Greatly by Brené Brown
4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

FIND BECKY ONLINE:
Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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Links may be affiliate links, so you're supporting this podcast when you buy through them. Thanks!

Some of us grew up thinking that our faith was a permanent, immovable object and that any whiff of change or dissonance was a personal failure. But what happens when you realize that the ways you've always understood and practiced your beliefs are unhealthy and need to shift?

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Courageous Community Course:
Shop Rothy's Shoes: BeckyLMcCoy.com/Rothys
Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero
A Deeply Formed Life by Rich Villodas
Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton
4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

FIND BECKY ONLINE:
Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

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Links may be affiliate links, so you're supporting this podcast when you buy through them. Thanks!

It's easy to feel like who we are is made up of all the things we can offer people - we are worth the sum of our productivity and helpfulness. But what happens when we have nothing to offer? Do my friends want me just for who I am or for the value I add to their lives? What kind of a friend am I if I have nothing to give? It's terrifying to be vulnerable enough to admit that all I can give my friends is myself, but sometimes that's all I've got. How can we navigate friendships when we are all overwhelmed, burned out, and exhausted?

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STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Courageous Community Course: BeckyLMcCoy.com/CourageousCommunity (registration open til 9/29/22)
Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab
Peace Is a Practice by Morgan Harper Nichols
4 Mantras for When I'm Overwhelmed: BeckyLMcCoy.com/4mantras

FIND BECKY ONLINE:
Website: BeckyLMcCoy.com
Social Media: @BeckyLMcCoy

Subscribe, rate, review, and share this podcast with the resilient people in your life!

Links may be affiliate links, so you're supporting this podcast when you buy through them. Thanks!