Sucktastic Cinema

On this edition of Sucktastic, its a re-release of an episode we did for a series we tried on our last podcast venture, the Radkast! An evil mad man wants to weaponize the life's work of a lowly professor. The CIA can't get to the professor to keep the mad man at bay, so they enlist the help of a dweeby teenager to get close to the professor's daughter. Can this nerd go from dud to stud in order to save the world, and possibly win the affection of Hilary Duff?! Stay tuned to find out! Or just assume he will.

On this edition of Sucktastic, Zany Wayne Szalinski is at it again! Only this time, it's the parents who are caught in the cross hairs of the infamous shrink ray! It'll take ingenuity with their surroundings, an element that has become standard in the Honey series, to get the adults to where their kids can see them. Although it's ultimately up to the kids to save their parents, it doesn't come without some get down and partying up in the wake of their parents abscence!

This week on Sucktastic, two stoner-boners who are a burden on everyone they meet, mistakenly find themselves in the middle of a multi-million dollar science experiement. They do absolutely nothing throughout the duration of the movie to endear themselves in anyway, and end up only causing trouble for three-quarters of the film. However, we cling to a few thin silver linings via a familiar character actor, and the best band in the world!

On this edition of Sucktastic, Hulk Hogan plays Ray Chase, a secret agent who comandeers a deadly weapon from an Eve-vil villainess. Her name is Eve, that's why that is spelled like that. Back at home, Ray moonlights as a mild-mannered, dweeby klutz around everyone in town, including his mopey son Jeremy. However, in Ray's attempts to hide the stolen weapon, his double life comes back to bite him. His secrets have now put his loved ones in danger, gotten him captured, and subjected him to a mad scientist's torture methods. It's now up to Jeremy and his pals to ban together and play spy in an attempt to free his dad!

On this edition of Sucktastic, we discuss a film that had us scratching our heads, cringing with second-hand embarrasment, and questioning our sanity. However, It's our own fault for watching a film where the main character has a personality disorder, is a constant burden on others, unashamedly has a butt fetish rooted in a possible oedipus complex, and even manages to throw in some rascism for good measure. But hey; it's for kids!

On this edition of Sucktastic, it's a rockus ride, fueled by steak and motor oil! Humble truck driver Lincoln Hawk is out to emotionally manipulate, er, I mean...BOND with his estranged son, on a classic father/son road trip to see the boys sick mother. While Linc sets out to mend fences with his stubborn spawn, the boy's equally manipulative grandfather is out to put a stop to it! IF ALL THAT WASN'T ENOUGH, the dysfunctional family dynamic is set to a back drop of grunting, spitting, snarling lunatics and maniacs, out to be the best in the world's oldest test of strength!

On this edition of Sucktastic, we talk a little dreamer who everyone dumps on, and who is constantly told to grow up and stop dreaming. Max is a child who tries to escape through fantasies, especially ones involving his favorite dream creations Sharkboy and Lavagirl. However, when his friends jump out of his head and call upon him for help, it's up to Max to use his dreams to save his heroes' planet. Just when you think Max is having an episode of some type, the fantasy world starts to mesh with the real one, and his nay-sayers have no other choice but to trust Max and his dreaming capabilities. Also, this movie was co-written by a seven year old and is in 3D.

On this episode of Sucktastic, Hulk Hogan is the greatest warrior in the galaxy! However, after a work place incident, the Hulkster is forced into a sabbatical and he crash lands on earth. Hulk is your classic fish out of water, and he finds himself in the company of a pathetic everyman and his family. The two become strange bedfellows, and through hinjix and danger, they each teach the other person lessons about themselves they never previously embraced. Also Hulkamania runs wild on a mime, an old lady, and a helpless RC Cola machine.

This week on Sucktastic, Dylan and Cole Martin are two shrimpy kids who love soccer. However, their summer dreams of being soccer superstars are in jeopardy! When their dad has to go away on business, their Mom takes the mantle of coach. Even with the assistance of the boy’s scantly clad Aunt, their Mom realizes that the team of raggamuffins is more than a work in progress, and she is in way over her head. It’ll take the help of a greasy drifter to whip the team into shape, and give the crew a new confidence in their abilities to be winners!

Right off the bat; SPOILER ALERT! If you are listening to this, and haven't watched the new Mortal Kombat, we do have a section of spoiler filled thoughts on the film. The time stamp for that is:

That being said; this week on Sucktastic, we're on the road again! This go around, we are broadcasting from Modwest KC in Kansas City, MO, and we welcome long time pal Tyler Stricklan for his first appearance on the show! This episode, we really try to test our might, as we talk a universally panned, bloated, second-rate-cash-grab of a sequel! No amount of poorly CGI'ed Animalities can save us from Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, this week, on Sucktastic Cinema!