The first time I heard John say to a doctor; "But what if I wanna go on my own terms?" and it wouldn't be the last, same with my first breakdown and first daughter to become engaged.

Continuing from Part 1

After 3 attempts to record my thoughts and feelings to no avail. Here is part 1 with quite a bit missing, but I'm just too exhausted at this point and my body is shutting down.

I have no control at this point with what my body and mind are doing. Gonna be a tough ride from here on out.

An image that haunts me quite regularly was taken a year ago today.....my husbands strength to keep going even when he had to of been suffering.

Thoughts that I actually had to write down so I wouldn't forget them. My brain is shutting down again as I head into the last week before John's diagnosis. Sometimes you just gotta go with the flow and accept the changes.

Not attempting to be negative, just being honest with how we - John and I perceived December 25th as shift workers to our girls. Wishing you all a Merry Christmas

Probably a top 10 contender for one of the worst days. December 24th, 2024 showed everyone what was going on behind our closed doors.

Recalling memories can be difficult as they create happy, sad and indifferent emotions.

Acknowledging that I am not always as open minded as I "think" I am, grateful to open my mind and heart to others when I least expect it to be to my benefit.