Sunshine peering through the fog

Discovering that change is sunshine peering through the fog has enlightened my spirit - it may have taken me a while to figure that out but I eventually got there.

I reflect on the last traumatic call my late husband attended as a primary care paramedic and send my love to the family of the patient.

It's difficult for some of us to admit we aren't "all that and a slice of bread" in reality.

When you hear or see something that radiates with your situation - it helps to alleviate some....some of the pain/guilt.

Appreciating those we love the most is hard as we always assume they'll still be here. Attempting to create or sustain traditions after loss is difficult...perhaps you can find sunshine through that fog.

Verbally documenting December 16, 2024 is difficult for myself - a week of not sharing our marital bed in hopes that John would see that he needed to attend an outpatient program and honestly, attempting to "un-love" my husband as I realized I could no longer accept and live with his "grossly manifesting PTSD."

A quick synopsis of December 15, 2024 - unable to function well today a year later

Coming to terms with the fact that your brain controls you is almost cathartic. I am blessed to have the time to allow my thoughts to come forward whether intrusive or pleasant and even more so then allow myself to sit with them and process them.

Putting a voice to the changes the tumour made and how my motto played a role.

Take some time to slow down and appreciate what was, is and could be.