Its called 503 c 3 and surprised no one else thought of it
Monroe is scared that Malcom has been involved in a new nefarious gang (lol) and Archie needs to turn this gym into a real community center. Honestly I do love their relationship
Molly Ringwald wants to take Archie to Chicago. Monroe is very grateful that Archie tried to take care of the Dodger issue, he stole a bag of bloody money, which they need to launder. Archie asks Veronica to launder it, she says he should burn it
Molly offers to turn Archie’s community center into a non profit, which should have always been the plan/.
Rats in a Person means it is time to shut things down
Toni is worried about leaving the babies with a mental unwell woman with dementia and you know I have to agree. Nana Rose says something about seeing one of the triplets in the fire and refers to Cheryl as Penelope. We know about three generations of twins (possibly triplets) Clifford/Claudius, Jay Jay/Cheryl, Dagwood/Juniper. We know that DJ has to be twins. Could JC have had a third? Or what about CC?
Toni has called in a tall drink of water to take care of Nana Rose. Darius (do I smell a romantic subplot between him and Toni?). Cheryl over pushes the rule about the chapel in the basement. Its weird. Jason has a RAT INSIDE OF HIM and she is just sewing him up when Toni walks in.
Changing your name doesn’t change your life
Veronica and Archie talk names, everyone is so fucking supportive all the time. They have sex, good for them, its hot.
Hiram is there because he can just walk in and out of prison. He explains to Veronica that his family name is Luna and his dad was super pissed when he changed it. And Hiram is very fuckign pissed that Veronica is changing her name. Great line in this scene “I may have never taken out the trash but I know when something is rotten”
Veronica Luna is such a better name, yes go back to your roots, to your culture, to being a true lady of the moon, a witch, curse the man, yes. She visits him in prison, girl get it
Criminally good and bad fashion
Why the fuck is Charles giving Betty all this intel? Edgar calls Betty on Alice’s phone with a list of demands
Polly arrives in a criminally bad poncho with a bomb and a trigger. Charles talks Betty for some reason through how to cut the wire, which doesn’t work and then Betty stops the bomb with her bobby pin.
Veronica loans Betty the glamersay eggs for the cash and Toni can just make 50 passports because she knows someone?? Betty gives a work around at the school office to get a school bus and lets her into the motel.
She is wearing a cool bomber jacket and Chad Michael Murry is better than shirtless, he is wearing a shirt with no buttons. She gets knocked out and walks up with Alice tied up. What is also criminal is this Che Gavara hat, come on people we can do better than this
Edgar is planning a rocket launch? Edgar is wearing a full Evil Kaveval outfit. He starts monolouging about the prophet Elijiah, he has a gun, Alice has shot him,
Someone call a plumber because Mari’s basement has flooded
MOOSE is back and so is my boner! He goes by Marmaduke here and is Jughead’s roommate.
Brett makes fun of Jughead’s upbringing and jughead wants to go full “skinned a woman” on him (remember that from season 2 we can’t forget) But there is a ‘no violence’ rule and Jughead backs off
Jughead walks in on Dana and Moose. Dana is sex postive and tells him to be careful about Brett and his pscyological warfare. I don’t trust her. Why is she giving free advice? Jughead in a sweater is my weakness, I love a boy in a sweater, just give him to me. Of course this guys name is Brett, although what if the real villain is that Dana girl? Also glad we clarified for all the karen’s in the back what bisexual means
Brett tries to get a rise out Jughead by listing facts about his childhood and it works, jughead then lists facts about his own life again and pushes Brett back to write drama instead of starting drama. Dana wins the contest, Jughead and Bret lose, but Juggie looks happy about it. Someone (some would say Brett, others would say Dana) released the information about Moose to the school.
Mysterious video tape drop
