For this final truncated cut, we discuss our wishes for a Jade Fox origin story, some of the best acting we have ever covered so far, and how we would have ended the movie because the way it ends is pretty baffling to us. Also, Robin is incensed by the purple yin, Rick is stunned at how deceitful 8-year-old girls can be, and Jonathan remembers why he never liked this movie.

Finally, as always, we discuss at length about whether this movie gets our sword, and some of the criteria we look for to determine that.

In this cut, the Swordboys finally get to the best 20 minutes of the movie! After experiencing some ear-piercing trills that natively are known as "music", Jen brings her Karen energy to a restaurant where you get the best cod by fighting the toughest person there. Legends like Iron Arm, Ring Sword, Abacus Guy and Fiststick Man try their best to take the girlboss down, and the establishment ends up in ruins as a result.

Speaking of girlbossing, Shu Lien shows us the difference between a boss and a leader when Girls Night at Sun Security ends up deteriorating into the swordfight that made this an official Swordboy selection! But after Obi-Wan Mu Bai interrupts the rumble, the Swordboys are forced to rationalize wuxia flight skills as Li and Jen film a Nestle Symphony commercial amongst the bendy branches of the bamboo trees.

Comb one, comb all as we continue the flashback to Dark Cloud's Mountain Spa, where we find out what happens to falcons that can't deliver messages correctly. Jen is on her eat pray love journey with Lo, where we return to a Swordboys staple: the pre-coitus stabbing. Yup, this is a kissing movie and Jen and Lo meld each other's cultures so much that Jen could eat a whole horse. Back in the present, Lao Che Longfingers is the unwilling participant in a wedding processional that is secretly a Trap. But instead of luring out the Fox, we are left with a sadsack Hound: Bad Rufio - who is brought Lo by his pathetic behavior. Soon enough, it's Runaway Bride time as Jen escapes to a KOA Kampground. Finally, we learn when China got Windows. Join us as we ponder three questions that we would love your input on: is Bravestar bigger than Trap, who is the crouching tiger and who is the hidden dragon, and what is your badass name? Wait, is that four questions?

Welcome to The Most Talking Cut, which would probably be better with either Sean Connery or arm wrestling. In this cut, you've got Sir T (who pities a fool), Karen Yu and High Energy Action Star Li Mu Bai trying to figure out what to do with a Jade-pilled Jen.

Just when Li thought he was out, some flying wuxia and skadooshing brings him back in. We also flashback to days, months or years ago (who knows), when Jen's caravan was raided by Dark Cloud and the Heartbreakers, but it turns out to be quite the beat-cute when Jen gets Lo. But it leads the Swordboys to an important question: are you a Lo Boy or a Bo Boy? En garde!

If you're bored, you'll be so happy to hear from us as we get into another cut of Crouching Talking Hidden Drama! Mr T pities the fool that stole the Green Destiny, but could Governor Yu be behind it all? Maybe not, but that wanted poster sure looks like his daughter's governess! Speaking of, Jen and Shu Lien become like total besties and Jen is shipping #ShuLiMu on her Tumblr. But Shu Lien is conflicted because of the death to Meng.

But enough about them, because the best part of this movie is Deputy Bo who is such an idiot but also our favorite character. He bumbles around Inspector Tsai (chief head-puncher and Glaive aficionado) and his daughter Mai (wielder of the ancient butter knife) to take down Jade Fox, who steals all her moves from Wudan Mountain and Miyagi-Do. But an awesome fight turns into a crazy awesome fight when Jen and Li Mu Bai join in from nearby trees.

The Swordboys are here to say that they know kung fu (movies)! They take a major step down in quality from the last movie to discuss CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON! Buckle up, everybody - they’re about to get everything wrong - from Chinese history to basic pronunciation. They jump aboard the Li/Yu ship. What, Li? No, Yu! Jonathan talks about the time he joined a meditation cult, Rick discusses Shu Lien’s gaslighting/gatekeeping/girlbossing and Robin delivers some audio swordporn. It’s their Green Destiny to talk this film, which brings up topics like Mr. Sword, Swords & Sensibility and the sounds of a sword wiggling and wobbling. Wiggle wiggle wobble wobble!

Sexy Skeletor is now Master of the Universe and we are so happy for him! He has a huge staff, a costume change, a pig nose and a winged helmet that he stole from a Jun warlord. He gloats to Eternia ( Population: 8 ) but now that he is at the top, he is so lonely, something he shares with arch-nemesis, the very greasy He-Man.

The Earthlings arrive and blasters and shotguns are a-blazin'! A moment of silence for Skeletor's most loyal servant, Blade, who can't even die the death of a true Swordboy. He-Man finally has The Power and nothing changes except the room empties out for a budget-friendly fight! It's the unintelligible jock that everyone loves versus the sexy bad boy your parents warned you about! Who will win?

And, as we say "Good journey!" to this movie and hoist our Skeletor impersonations into the rafters (yeah right), we determine finally, did this movie not have enough sword to get our sword, or does it get a pass because of how much fun we had discussing it?

Oh gosh, this one is a doozy! We have arrived at the Last of Earth! Cut-out He-Man flies his pizza stone and finally pulls his sword out while Man-At-Arms and Teela shoot questions first and ask blasters later! We learn about Sexy Skeletor bits and the origins of Snake Mounting. Julie Ackbar gets her leg manipulated while Skeletor reminds Evil-Lyn to blast his cache.

We take the space butthole back to Eternia where there’s a really rude robot announcer and Blade gets to be a Whip Boy. Robin starts his Earth First campaign, Rick explains all the technobabble and Jonathan announces his epitaph in Cut 5 of Masters of the Universe!

Welcome back to the quiet desolate streets of Los Angeles, where the only place open is Charlie's Music Store. After Kevin autotunes his way out of the Collar of Al Jarreau and Gwildor tries on Julie's clothes (because comedy!), it's a race to Charlie's to find out the secrets of the cosmic key. You see, the universe is music and---boring!

Time for a shootout after Evil Lyn's swampboat pulls up. Woman-at-arms Teela shows us her blaster skills and a Ghost Mom makes Jonathan declare that the movie is now officially off-the-rails. But the Superman IV effects bring in more hoverboards, another Space Butthole and Skeletor's Dick Ship!

Hey. You like warehouses? Because we are in Pizzabox Alley again in this cut. But at least He-Man finally uses his sword in a movie which should have probably been called "Blasters of the Universe". And Blade has TWO swords and we gotta tell ya - it's pretty terrific.

Other highlights include the "piss moment" of the movie, the arrival of both Pawn Star Ernie and Marshall Strickland, a Triple Tech of the Ep, a discussion of cold vs reheated chicken, and trying to understand why Skeletor's robots come with chins.

Speaking of, Sexy Skeletor is still here and really wants you to butt dial him.