Raphy Feolino and I are both in the 2CCX. Russell Brunson’s high end coaching program. I have gotten to see Raphy and his wife build their relationship coaching program from the ground up. I thought I would bring him on to talk about what he does. In part 1 of the interview we talked about the trials and tribulations, the struggles, the successes of building their business. In part two here we go deep on what his business actually does. Who they help. Aka their avatar. And all the fun stuff around that. There are good relationship tips and tricks for all who listen.
Their program is all about building the foundation for a good marriage. They specifically work with couples who aren’t married. I.e. they are helping you get married. Not saving your marriage!
Their Holly Couples Coaching program: https://journeytomarriage.com/coaching/
Their Dating To Discern Couples challenge here: https://www.datingtodiscern.com/
Him and his wife sarah, at the time of this recording, have an almost two year old and a three month old. It’s stressful. They are grateful for what they learned to build such a strong foundation for their relationship. One that is helping them thrive through this time. And they want to pass it on through their coaching program.
Raphy gets a bit into the futility of his dating and how he used that as a spring board to communicate with his wife.
The importance of having the hard conversations with your partner right out of the gate.
The power of their faith based frameworks. They take their couples through a whole journey. And by the end you’re probably gonna know if you should be married!
The power of turning your differences into your strengths.
Hey talks about some amazing couples successes.
The coolest thing I think. Is they have a relationship assessment that grades your relationship on 5 or 6 different parameters. And you get so see a before and after based on your scores. You literally get tangible results and scores that you can look at.
Administrative: (See episode transcript below)
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Transcript:
Mischa Zvegintzov
Welcome, everybody to the table rush masterclass where we get back to the marketing and sales basics to help entrepreneurs like you grow your business to $1 million and beyond. And today, I am very excited to introduce to you, Rafi and this last name is great. It's almost as good as mine, Rafi feel lino and Sarah, who's hiding in the background? Well, welcome Rafi.
Raphy Feolino
What's up, Misha, thanks for being here. And thanks for not butchering my name. Like, that's good. Like, both both my like the first name and the last name. Somebody gets it all mixed up. I'll know how like it's kind of pretty, like straightforward. But you got it. And I, I really enjoyed this interview. So thank you for having me on.
Mischa Zvegintzov
Indeed, it's so good to have you have quick we have we have some roots together. And that we're in this high end coaching program. It's called the two comma club X. It's a significant financial investment, which I love. And I'm proud to invest in myself. I know you have as well. It's with Russell Brunson. And I've just got to watch your journey through this for the last year, year and a half. And so my goal here today is just to talk about what you do, and the amazing work you're doing. Right now, this will be our part one of the interview. So if that's cool, and you have what's called holy couples coaching, and anybody can check it out in the link below Journey to marriage.com. It's a great website, you can schedule a call to it's all about, about about bringing spirituality into your into your marriage, right? And it's based it's got a Christian or Catholic, yes to it. Correct? Yeah,
Raphy Feolino
yeah, we primarily work with couples who aren't married. Because we see that there's like, plenty of marriage enrichment stuff. But like, we're trying to figure out, like, who's helping the people that want to get married?
Mischa Zvegintzov
Mm hmm.
Raphy Feolino
Cuz that's a significant step of your relationship. Right? Like, you don't just have a good marriage, like, just because you get married? It's like, what is the foundation that you have to build to have that, that good marriage? Because the reality is marriage, when you're in it, man, there's a lot of responsibilities. We just, we just became parents. I mean, like, I would say, we're still new to parenting and everything, we have a, an almost two year old, and we just had a three month old, just recently. So it's, it's difficult. Like, I'm glad that we we had a like work on relationship before we had to go through these transition points. And that's the gift that we wanted to help other couples to not come into marriage, like being reactive, and like trying to figure things out, because in itself is it's pretty stressful if you don't know how to really do the basic essential things that unfortunately, nobody really teaches us School doesn't teach us how to communicate and all these these things that we teach our couples, so yeah,
Mischa Zvegintzov
fantastic. I love the purpose, a noble cause, right? And and I say that with a full open heart, like, hey, let's, let's set people help people who are on the path to marriage. Let's set them up for success. Right. And I'm looking at your website now. And I think it's awesome. So when everybody's watching here, or you're watching me and I look over here, it's because I've got another screen and I'm looking at your stuff. So I see we've got this whole before and after. Not a framework but but you've got different metrics of before and after. growth area possible growth area, possible strength, strength area, and then you break it down even into I'm having trouble reading it got awfully small. But you have like financial relations, right? You've got all these different things. Yeah, I see that you've got you've had success like I see we've got Nico and Sam who there before and after metrics went up dramatically. So you've got a whole system writer, Vicki and Laney you've got a before and after. So quickly. Tell me a little bit about that.
Raphy Feolino
Yeah, so that assessment that you see that's the number one marriage and relationship assessment in the world was called Preparing rich and because because like it's kind of hard to tangibly like understand like how like how your communicate like the health of your communication, like how you guys handle finances as a couple like, all these different facets of your life. It's kind of hard to to put them into like, are we getting better or getting worse? Like, where are we at? So we wanted to create something where objectively couples can see, like, what are the areas? They're there they have strong points on and and what are the areas that they should really focus on growing, especially before coming into marriage, because there's a lot of conversations that we help our couples really dive into, that they may have not have talked about. Until they start working with us. Because when they start working with us, we get them to be very intentional about the time that they're putting in their relationship and working with us. So yeah, we had like, before we actually go through our coaching program, that's like our first initial call. We help them to see objectively what their relationship look like. Because, you know, couples are like, Oh, our relationship is fine. Like, I don't even know why we're doing this thing. Most of the guys are like that. They're like, I don't know why we're doing this, like we known each other for years. Like, we're fine. Yeah. But they do this assessment. And they're like, dumbfounded. Really like, Wait a minute. Yeah. So we have one of one of our couples that we want to talk about. They were actually about to get married, like four months later, before we actually started working with them. And they, when we started working with them really like they felt like pretty on on tune with everything. And they're like, oh, yeah, we're fine. Like, I'm sure everything is good. But we'll try this out. They got the report, and they actually ranked the lowest that you can in that assessment is like conflicted couple, right. And they saw that and they're like, oh, my gosh, like we're about to get married in four months. And it seems like we're not on the same page. Like it felt like we were on the same page. But that's what's powerful about like, the objectivity of assessments like this. So we were able to do that they, they, they went through the process, we helped uncover a lot of the things that they couldn't see. And that's what that's the power of having a coach. And then after our program, they became a vitalized. Couple. So what a vitalized couple is the top rank that you can that you can measure in that assessment. So within just a few months of working with us, they went from the lowest to the highest rank. And they weren't even married. And I think that blows up a lot of people's mind as well. Because they think like, oh, we should be working on a relationship when we're married. Like, that's when we should be doing it like no, like, why, why wait, you're gonna be you're gonna be doing these things throughout your life, regardless, why not learn it so early on in your relationship, so you don't get into those, those places where you're building these bad habits, and all these things, because that's exactly what I had to experience. Like, I wish I would have known this early on in my dating stages. But, I mean, I feel like God has given me that purpose. He put all these challenges in my life so that my wife and I could do this type of work.
Mischa Zvegintzov
But yeah, fantastic. I want to get to that in a moment that God has given you this purpose, because I think that's what's so powerful about what you do. It's so much work to create something like this to create a structure to help people and to bring a message to market. Right. And, and so to have a powerful why we're gonna get to that in a minute. But really quick, on this Oh, and so that I love the idea of a measurable, right you in such an esoteric space, you've said, here's a measure of here's the measurables that we can look at, and I think they're beautiful. So now I'm looking at and we've got communication, conflict resolution, partner style and habits, financial management, leisure activities, sexual expectations, family and friends, relationship roles. And the last one is spiritual beliefs. And so, obviously, as I just say that if you can grow your competency or capabilities in those areas with your partner, how powerful is that? Especially heading into a marriage, right? Like yeah, yeah, super powerful. Yeah. So awesome. Tell me
Mischa Zvegintzov
like how it's a lot of work, and it's a lot of pain, a lot of growth opportunities. How about that to put something like this together? Like what's the how What was the pain point where you and your wife are like? Did you have an experience? And so your relationship was struggling and you? And then you're like, we've Wow, how powerful Tell me? Does that make sense?
Raphy Feolino
Yeah, so actually, it goes even way before my wife like before, when I met my wife, like, everything started getting a little bit better. Like I started dating the right way. When I, when I initially met her, we dated the right way. And we ended up getting married in just a few months. But before, like, before I met her, I was dating all these other women. And I didn't know exactly like, what the purpose for dating was. So I'd be in these relationships for years and years. And you know, I'm hearing like people's advice, like, oh, yeah, take your time, have fun, go travel and do all these things. And I did. So I spent years of my life dating, I want to talk about this, the certain individual, I dated this one, one girl for over five years, without having like, intention or purpose, but because I guess, just looking back at it, I just wanted significance I wanted to be loved. And I thought I was doing all the right things. So it kind of got to a point where I was like, Okay, we've been together together for like five years. Like, what's the next step of marriage? Right? So in my mind, I was like, Okay, let me go ahead and propose her because that's what everybody is doing. Like, again, not really having any purpose or intention. And then,
Mischa Zvegintzov
how old are you quick, at this point? How old are you?
Man, I think I was like 24, or 25, when I was engaged before I met my wife. So when this happened, just a few months afterwards, I had a spiritual director as well. And he was the one as much as I love him to death. Like, he was very honest with me, as a good director, or coach should have been, but when we're engaged, and I was kind of like sharing to my spiritual director, like, the challenges that we're facing, he helped me to realize how toxic my relationship was, that I couldn't really see. Which really, it kind of blew my mind because I've been in the relationship for five years. So I thought, like, you know, like, Oh, I th
