Table Rush Talk Show

I cover three topics today.  1) What's up with my hair?  2) How I’m slowly but surely gaining ground on my summit project but my perfectionism is a problem here.  3) And I did some chop wood and carry water which felt good.

Show notes:

My hair keeps growing.  I’m gonna go for 3 years I think :).  Check the FB for my progress :).  How do you do what you love and love what you do when what you currently doing no longer works?  That’s a good question.  I bring that idea up to people and they like it and it makes sense, I may be on the right track.  That brings emotional relief.  My need for perfection is definitely slowing me down and it’s time to move forward.  And I’ve got no more excuses.  We will see if new excuses come up.  Chop wood carry water, dig holes plant plants.  I finally secure the Podocarpus today…  The wind was laughing at me. 

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I say a little prayer for direction and then I brainstorm some summit ideas of off the audience.  Including headline, subtopics for a three day summit…  (I’m not sure how I feel about this lol).  And then some commentary on letting go of money being the main motivating factor.  

Show notes:

What would your life look like if you could transcend the need for money and you move past your need for relationships…  Whats’ the question you would have me answer to best be of service…  So many things I don’t want.  I don’t want to look bad.  I don’t want to fail.  One of my frustrations is that there are so many questions for me to answer and I want to answer them all.  A perpetual mid-life crisis.  Is the fear of financial insecurity leaving me? I feel like money is not the main motivator any more which I like.   The feed back loop of inspiration.  The meandering nature of this episode is representative of the space I’m in.  And letting go of the “way” I need to deliver my content. 

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 In the previous episode I don’t think I painted the complete picture of what “the in it” pain was.  So I give a little more detail.  And also the point of when “it” became fun again.  It culminates with a friend telling me “thank god you’re human, thank god you have normal stuff upset you!”

Show notes:

Round 1 of legit thoughts of I’m done with 2CCX…  I’ll just go out and do my books and read my podcast.  Maybe I’ll stop the podcast…  quit it all.  Which manifested to “nobody loves me”.  Try to find that “pause when agitated”.  As my buddy Dean Bell says, “God is in the pause.”  I was alone on the island and the island was sinking.   And a friend says to me “thank god you’re human, thank god you have normal stuff upset you!”  

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I get my but kicked by the coaching group for the 4th time…  and it crushes me.  It’s a heavy prayer day and thank god for the tools cause they turn the situation from pain to fun and I get a sound night's sleep.  And a little riff on how the idea of the soul does not serve me.

Show notes:

How many damn grand idea summit ideas have I had shot down.  ...IDK, I wish this part of the story was done.    I am trying to shed the ego people.  A soul ain’t serving me.   Believe whatever you want, whatever serves you, believe away!  Damn tech nuisances. What is the result that the reader wants and how can they get it.  9:50 AM that's when the sword went in my heart!  You are not at the next step of the summit. A great prayer “Holy Spirit please use my dreams on behalf of waking.”  “God this is what I need the answer to, what is the result that the reader wants and how can I get it.”  And a final prayer “God I give up, I surrender, IDK I give up!  I surrender!” If I can shift from that egoic pain to the god fun…  Yeah!  The process can take as long as it wants.  

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One of my favorite sayings for a good life and to keep from reverting back to "old behaviors" is “Trust in god, clean house, and work with others.”  Which translated is: put your faith in something greater than yourself, clean up your messes in life, and how can you pass it on and be of service to others.  Matthew Cox does exactly that but in his own words and on his own terms.  There is a lot to be learned from Matt Cox…

Show notes:

For those of you who don’t know Matthew Cox; he was Number One on the Secret Services most wanted list for stealing $11,500,000 dollars and committing $55,000,000 in mortgage fraud all while on federal probation, all while he was on the run, all while he was committing more fraud.  Matthew Cox was profiled on American Greed, Dateline, etc.  Ultimately Matt was captured and sentenced to 26 years in prison.  In July 2019 he was released from prison after 12.5 years.  While in prison he began collecting and writing the true crime stories that he had the privilege of hearing…  So now Matt writes books, has rediscovered his passion for art, and… He’s smart, articulate, and may just have discovered the secrets to finding peace of mind…   

To get caught up read the awesome summary of his story here: https://insidetruecrime.com/true-crime-stories/

His autobiography - incredible adventure of fraud that I refer to “Shark in the Housing Pool: On the Run with the Secret Service’s Most Wanted” is here:  https://www.amazon.com/Shark-Housing-Pool-Matthew-Cox/dp/B0851KBYCF/ref=sr\_1\_2?keywords=shark+in+the+housing+pool&qid=1582751284&sr=8-2

Some of the highlights from my notes on part 4.

It’s cool to see a shift in perspective and awareness, and it’s a beautiful thing to see.  How do you support that continued shift?  Put everything out there, do the right thing, and work, and try and make an effort and don’t be a selfish greedy prick, try not to be too arrogant, be a decent person do the right thing, do the right thing and good things will happen, and the opportunities will present themselves…  

Struggling to stay humble - do this to say humble - (He reluctantly says this, knowing that asking for recognition is not the solution) I pick up trash at his apartment…  Saw the trash at apartments, and now he picks up trash on the way to coffee and on the way back…  How is he going to answer the question of what are you doing picking up trash…  It’s important to stay humble…  I am an arrogant prick with an addictive personality…  I am not above the guy holding the sign on the side of the road…  

Go volunteer at the cancer center.  In prison they schedule your cancer treatment for 6 months…  and then you die in 3 months…  

Are you aware of how you are inspirational to people.  I try to respond to the emails he gets, I talk to these kids, you know I’m 19 or 22, you can help me figure these things out…  Here’s what you do…  Patience, you work, don’t try to keep up with your buddies, and stop care about what kind of car you’re driving and save your money, and be patient cause you're young…  

Do you do any meditation or anything like that…  Absolutely he does in his own way…  

Him and the GF go to church…  He doesn’t disagree with anything the preacher says…  the messenger is irrelevant, everything you’re saying I agree with…  

He’s cries every other day…  How bad he screwed up with his son with the relationships he destroyed…  the good as well, the amazing opportunity he has in general, the luck, the generosity of people he met inside and out of prison.  I don’t even care.  

Let’s talk about the economy…  We can’t pump this much money into the system and not expect inflation.  6 to 18 months…  a hiccup is coming.  It’s nice to have low expectations…  

My experience of the corporate life and the acceptable level of fraud…  and they are not at peace…  Matt, would you trade it, you can go work in a corporate job…  would you take it.  I am going to to push these stories, I am going to do the things in life that makes me happy, and I am not going to do anything specifically as a result of money…  I’m just not going to do that.  I am going to make money doing what makes me happy.  I sleep good at night, and I enjoy what I’m doing and I have fun and I work all the time and it literally doesn’t feel like I work.  I paint, I write sometimes, I answer emails, I talk to people on the phone, I talk to producers, I do podcasts, I sell books…  

What happened to you was a gift, it was a gift in your life, do you see it as a gift?  I said exactly that while i was in prison.  I will never have this much time.  I have been given an opportunity to figure out what I should be doing and the time to cultivate it.  My biggest regret being free is that I don’t have enough time to write.  

See his other books and projects in the works (heck even submit him a story): https://insidetruecrime.com/true-crime-stories/

See him on Youtube - Inside True Crime: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3\_qYh4foNgVXI7NzcuxlCA

See his art here - Cox Pop Art: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCATY5XupLF28qcQ3mDN\_eGg

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Email me: [email protected]   

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After recording 17 interviews with 11 published at time of recording I reflect on the two extremes of the interviewees, and how do they effect me and what are my surrounding thoughts and emotions.  We’ve got more internal based ideas, touchy feely perhaps, one might cry.  Vs super intellectual smart people with ideas, looking at society, politics, art with new lenses.  All with open minded people it seems.

Show notes:

I interviewed two people, very personal interviews over the last couple days.  There was no conflict on external ideas.  More feelings based it feels like.  More internal ideas.  Greg Beckett is a transformational hypnotist - and use hypnosis techniques to help you tap into god is effectively what he said.  And how do I lovingly work with boundaries and loving yourself for who you are.  Janice Mulligan is very much about the morning routine to help you get connected to source, and being loving open and willing to new ideas in regards our kids.  She is conniving powerful emotions.  I was balling reading her work when prepping for her interview.   Can I let go of the past completely and see everybody, including myself, brand new in the moment.  Vs Bill Fenney and  Kirk Michie kind, more of smart people with ideas, looking at society, politics, art with new lenses.  I’ve gotten to play with both extremes with people who are willing to talk about them and be vulnerable.  Here’s my honest opinion in the moment with the understanding that it can change later, that is the vulnerability.  And it is cool to see that open-mindedness.  There is conflict in me vs those two types of interviews…  and of course everything in between

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Let's look at and discuss these two thoughts with indifference.  Idea #1 GDP is the important thing, you’ve got to produce, monetize, and GDP growth is king.  Or Idea #2 meditating on deep, contemplative, metaphysical questions, god etc is the most important thing.

Show notes:

…and looking without judgement.  One is not better than the other, it’s when I judge as one better than the other is when the conflict arrises.   Idea one, our value as a human is to produce widgets, produce things that add to gross domestic product (GDP).  And we value everything in relation to that.  Your value as a country is “is your GDP growing constantly and sufficiently”.  US v China and if we fall behind we are inferior. Some people thrive w/in that.   (Assuming it takes everything to make the world go round).  Fact 1 it takes everything to make the world go round.  Idea #1 GDP is the important thing, you’ve got to produce, monetize, and GDP growth is king!”  Idea #2 meditating on deep contemplative metaphysical questions is the most important thing.  (as a young lad I had deep thoughts about infinity, god, creation, where was the beginning, where was the end?  and it used to cause me turmoil.)  Illusion that everyone has those thoughts and SHOULD have those thoughts.   It went book, mind, paper, I’m talking to you.  Meditating on these deep thoughts, Guilt, Is guilt good or bad?  Judgment, is Judgment good or bad?.   The accurate representation of how our solar system moves through space.  Where do I want to place my faith ego or god/source/what have you?  The box you are trying to fit in no longer serves you.  Get aligned with center and play in the appropriate box.  And where do those circles intersect?  It’s fun to financially support your path in this world. 

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Basically I read a couple of paragraphs of A Course In Miracles on the episode and it inspires all sorts of awesome thought provoking questions for me and sheds light on how beautiful this world is.  Now this is a riff I can be proud of!

Show notes:

11:30 pm. “Attainment In The Real World”.  Enjoy the ride people.    A great question is posed “Am I willing to sit quietly and look upon the world I see and tell myself the real world is not like this?”  And if not why?  Turns out what we see may just be an illusion.  And another really cool concept is that If I’m willing to start looking at what I see as an illusion the real world of love, compassion, joy will begin to present itself.  Does that thought offend me?  Why have am I/have I been afraid, distracted, angry, judgmental of people who have a strong faith in god, a god, something greater the themeless?  Why am I afraid of that?  Many people who have a strong faith have the following ideals compassion, service, help, forgiveness.  Why was that assaulting to me in the past?  It assaulted my sensibilities, chapped my hide.  Why throw the baby out with the bath water?  Sometimes I don’t want to give up the ideas that power, money, adoration and recognition of me isn’t the answer.  “My share” is an illusion.  How great and amazing the real world is when it’s stripped away of illusions.  At least be open to this idea.  Often time’s I think I’m being so progressive when it turns out I’m just catching up.  And even more!

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Coming out of my frustrating class yesterday it’s clear I need some help finding the words that I’m trying to get down on paper.  So I finally go to source and ask for some help…  And it turns out source is sending me the people who can help.

Show notes:

A beautiful day today.  95% certain that I have the summit headline breakthrough.  A Funny recap of yesterdays classroom feedback.  “Speak when spoken to” sure does sound patriarchic!  God I want to be of service…  I need your help…  I’m not able to find the words that you want me to get down on paper.  And I sh*t you not the answer came to me!  “We were co-creating with the universe in order to be of service to the world.  Hopefully the answer from the coach will be “yes, you are finally on the right track.”  The adventure continues…

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Contributors:  2CCX, Bill O, Kyle Nuessen,

Contains Explicit Language?  Always ty to my fully inspired podcast title and art!

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I presented some work to my mastermind class today, had some expectations that I did good work, and got shredded by the coaches!  Worst though, I thought they thought I wasn’t prepared!  It was damn hard on the ego.  My friend says, “Mischa, you get to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and jump back in the fray."

Show notes:

Have not been eating out much during the covid.  It was weird being out!  Episode style which has three components.  What happened today, story based edu training, and controversial email.  God I want to do a controversial email.  One of the great lessons back when I was a dj, don’t practice your mixes on a live audience, practice them at home.  It will save you confused looks from the audience.  It was probably not my place in this environment.  Why are you telling me this? You can learn from my mistakes.  It can all turn on a dime. 

Start podcasting!  Get the Shure MV88 mobile mic, you can literally take it anywhere on the fly https://amzn.to/2Mnba3Q

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