Talking ‘Bout My Evolution

I talk about how Henry is eager to branch out and wants to rent a space and start a recording studio.  I have a problem with this idea for multiple reasons, not the least is he can't pay for his own car insurance right now, so how is he going to take on a monthly rent?  I also have questions about the reliability of his friends.  I know they are good friends and mean well, but who would obtain the lease?  Who would front the expenses to buy more equipment and soundproof the space?  I just don't see how this can happen when he can barely organize a trip to record/make beats/make money with his friends.  So, yes, I don't think Henry is ready to take on additional financial responsibility at this time.

I talk about what I'm learning in the book White Fragility.  It's very humbling to me to realize that I don't have the first clue what it means to be a minority in the US.  I have my experience as a woman, which comes with its own perils, but to be a different color brings so many further restrictions with it that I had never even considered.  It is overwhelming to actually read through and see lists and descriptions of all the limitations minorities face in their day-to-day life and in situations where one is applying for something.  There's so much more to write and say about this topic -- I can't possibly do it justice, but I'm becoming aware of what's happening and I will use this knowledge to be more understanding now and in the future.

I talk about some recordings I was listening to of Dr. Joe Dispenza.  He was describing how you can use meditation to visualize your future and create the reality you want.  So many people talk about the power of creative visualization and this is one technique to implement it into your life on a daily basis.  The key to visualizing is to add emotion to it, the more the better.  It's the emotion that anchors the vision into your body and field.

I talk about the 100,000 people who are anticipated to show up for the Buck's celebration parade today in Milwaukee and contrast these crowds to the lack of spectators at the "2020" Tokyo Olympics.  I feel badly for the athletes there, but understand the hesitation of the Japanese people to host a massive international event during COVID.

I also talk about some of the enormous insights I have gleaned from reading White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo.  I guess she is from Wisconsin or lives her now.  I didn't understand that the structures in place to keep white people "on top" are so huge you can't see around them and don't even realize they are there.  That was a big awakening for me.

I talk about how exciting it is that the Milwaukee Bucks won the Basketball championship.  The city is out of its head right now with excitement.  The crowds down at the Deer District were mind-bogglingly huge.  I wanted to go down and see them, but didn't want to be around so many unmasked people.  I'm glad I stayed home, because they showed everything I wanted to see about the crowds on TV.

I talk about Caroline Myss' Sacred Contracts book.  I finished it and the final section before all the archetype descriptions has many questions you would ask to "interview" your suspected archetype to see if it's the right one for you and how it shows up in your life, both in good ways and not so good.  The question list is extremely thorough and daunting.  Interviewing at least 8 archetypes to see if they are the right ones for you would definitely take some time.  For good measure, you'd probably want to interview 10-12 to rule out the ones that might fit, so you can find the definite match.  One of the interesting methods to figuring out what your archetypes might be (each person has 8 individual archetypes in addition to the 4 universal archetypes of: saboteur, victim, child, and prostitute) is to reflect on things you have always said to yourself or identified with yourself.  For example, I consider myself to be one of the family archivists/historians and a life-long learner, so the student and the historian are probably two of my archetypes.

I talk about my trip down to Chicago over the weekend and how it wound up being a super fun evening that was filled with dancing, relatives, and laughs.  I had a great time hanging out with Michael and my cousins.  It was a giant pain in the ass to get down there, but my cousin Heather let me stay in her hotel room, which was very gracious of her.  There was some excitement leaving in the morning, because I lost my credit card while dancing, but luckily I had that $100 bill on me and the parking garage had to take it.  They were irritated and told me they don't take bills higher than $20 and I told them they could either take the $100 bill, let me out for free or let me live in the parking garage for the rest of my life.  They didn't like any of those options and made me wait for about 45 minutes while they made change.  Eventually I was sprung and made my way home.

I talk about how when you upgrade your life, be it getting a better job, updating your wardrobe, getting in shape, finding a rewarding relationship, ditching those unsupportive friends and/or family, you will probably get tested at your new level in order to prove that you have truly ascended to this next level.  I have known this on an intellectual level, but it finally hit me emotionally that I am being tested with my house.  I've felt like I shouldn't have bought it and it's a liability and a piece of crap, but really, I think, it's a test to see if I'm willing to allow greater happiness and security into my life.  Realizing this has calmed me down quite a bit.

I talk about how Henry has been feeling super stressed out lately and how I was discussing his business with him.  Running your own business can be overwhelming and there are a lot of things to think about.  I ran through a bunch of things he should be tracking, like mileage, expenses, gas, studio time, etc.  However, I think talking over all the ins and outs of running your own business, saving for estimated taxes and budgeting is a little too much for him to take in right now.  I don't even know if he'll actually owe any taxes, because he isn't making that much, so I might be overinforming him and lecturing at him for no real reason.

I talk about two very different topics.  In the first half, I discuss Henry's trip that he's trying to put together with a group of his friends.  He isn't receiving timely information and I'm pushing him to make some decisions that he's trying to wait on.  I've gotten irritated with him, because I think the proof is in the pudding, i.e., his friends don't really want to go on the trip or they would commit to it.  Now he's frustrated with me and them, so I'm trying to let it all go for now.

I also discuss my confusion about how the archetypes line up with the astrological houses as Caroline Myss discusses them in Sacred Contracts.  If each house has a natural sign and then our birth sign overlays that and then an archetype overlays that, how do you interpret all that information?