This week, on the world's longest-running podcast between a journalist turned middle school teacher and a soon-to-be unemployed accountant, Dan and Paul discuss the items of lesser import, including:

This podcast is so packed we didn't have time for the story about a moose that went into a hospital to get lunch. What Dan and Paul did discuss, includes the following:

Dan and Paul meander their way through topics including the magnificence of Caitlyn Clark, how sandwiches are killing Americans, and the giant seaweed monster headed to Florida (of course).

Paul returns to talk about his future after accounting. Spoiler: Probably more accounting.

Paul is AWOL again. He's had it rough lately. He lost his job, but not for 90 days. That sucks. In his place is Tyler from Ames. He's mild.I've only seem he get really angry once or twice in 33 years of friendship. Anyway, we talk about stuff, too. Enjoy. Or don't. You get what you pay for and I don't see hear the bullet 

Paul lives! After a three-episode absence in which the podcast nearly folded without his genteel Southern charm and wry wit, Paul returns to Talking Paragraphs with his emotional, raw, and wrenching tale of Tetris addiction and the bitter toll it took him. "Things got so bad I flunked one linear algebra exam freshman year in college nearly 30 years ago," Paul says through tears. Stay tuned. The worst is yet to come.

Paul is off for load management. Tyler is in for Paul despite being terrorized by spiders in his shower. Dan is ready for a fried cauliflower sandwich, but they're only available in hippy-dippy towns. Also: Vintage commercials.

Tyler is in for Paul. Dan is still Dan. They talk about stuff, including:

1. The yacht thief who left a dead fish on the doorstep of 'The Goonies' house.

2. The kid who ran up a $1,000 bill with GrubHub deliveries.

3. The dolphin skull found in the Detroit airport.

4. The human jawbone left at a California police station.

5. The man who stole monkies and nearly got away with it.

Ideas to be discussed by a haggard middle school teacher and a man a reader for the local Gannett Outlet Store once called "the mouthpiece of Big Ag:"

1. The singularity approaches.

2. Jimmy Kimmel is going to ruin my favorite Twitter account 

3. Which sucks more: "That 90s Show" or "Velma?"

4. All drive-through fast food

5. Hallmark Valentine's Game