Talking With Dr Toy

We celebrate and honor survivors, especially those who have overcome many obstacles to say with boldness; "I'm Still Here." So many cannot say the same so it is something to be praised. However, what happens when you stay in a perpetual state of survival where your body remains in a stress response mode? Is it possible to transition from surviving to holistic thriving? Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com. 

Just as ruptures within relationships are inevitable, repairs must be intentional. As someone stated, repairs are a process and not a performance. Attempting to repair too soon, may minimize the effects of the ruptures thereby inducing resentment. However, repairs that are intentional and thoughtful may set the stage for restoration and healing within valued relationships. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.

Have you or someone ever made this statement after a conflictual interaction? "It happen, no need to discuss it further, let's just move on." Yes, that can be the ultimate exit strategy out of a disagreement, etc., but it may also breed resentment and more shallow and unfulfilling interpersonal interactions. According to Braham, "When we engage rupture, it can help us to understand and change our patterns of being in relationship" and help us to move towards repair. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com 

According to Braham, ruptures within relationships occur when there is a "fracture to the normally positive experience of a relationship." Conflict, hurt, unmet expectations, arguments, and disagreements may induce these ruptures. Ruptures are inevitable especially since you're interacting with other flawed human beings. A relationship rupture often entails a breakdown in communication and a disruption of a relational connection. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com. 

Thomas Parham stated people of color should be cautious where they seek validation because seeking validation from the oppressor may lead to disaffirming and dehumanizing interactions. The invisibility syndrome may leave individuals with unmet needs which can lead to disconnection from others as well as themselves. There are strategies to work through this process of being seen and heard in ways that are affirming and validating. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com. 

Invisibility has been deemed as a super power that people employ as a protective mechanism. The goal is to themselves safe from hurt, woundedness, and rejection. Some individuals actually feel empowered by implementing this strategy because it may be the only thing in their lives where there's a semblance of control. "Learned Invisibility" is a survival response especially in the face of abuse, neglect, and abandonment. Why is there a fear of being known and what are the costs of remaining unseen and unheard? Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com. 

Dr. Anderson Franklin constructed the term "Invisibility syndrome" and defined it as "the feeling people get when their abilities, personality, and worth are disregarded because of others' prejudice." Experiences of invisibility can adversely affect one's mental, emotional, and physical well-being. At the core of this experience is the desire to be known, loved, cared for, valued, affirmed, and deemed worthy by oneself as well as "important others" according to Gregg Henriques. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.

The pain and promise of invisibility is a lived experience for many especially among marginalized groups. Invisibility promises to keep one safe, but it also produces pain and a sense of powerlessness. Ralph Ellison (1952), stated "I am a man of substance, of flesh and bone...I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me...They see only my surroundings, themselves, or figments of their imagination--indeed, everything and anything except me." Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.

The trauma and grief induced by the recent tragedies can be so overwhelming that there appears to be no respite for the pain, despair, helplessness, and hopelessness. Taking a pause which requires stillness and reflection may allow one to connect with a few moments of goodness that brings a sense of gratitude to the soul. The gratitude may serve as a filling of the soul which can become so drained and malnourished in a troubling world. Gratitude is more than an attitude, it can be an emotion and a disposition where feelings of kindness and warmth are induced. Please remember, there's room to hold space for the grief and the gratitude. Tune into the podcast via www.talkingwithdrtoy.com