Tea with Queen and J.

Before Kaila was old enough to fully understand her body she became the target of an old racist myth spread by a classmate, about the sexual anatomy of Asian girls. Like many of us who encountered harassment this early, she’d soon learn his comments were only the tip of a bigoted iceberg.

Do you remember the first time you were confronted with a stereotype that would resurface throughout your entire life?

Kaila Yu is the author of Fetishized: A Reckoning with Yellow Fever, Feminism and Beauty. Formerly an import model and lead singer of the all-Asian American pop-rock band Nylon Pink, Kaila joins Janicia for a conversation on the origins of "yellow fever," why your "type" preference might be a problem, the “raunch era” of the late 90's & 2000's, plastic surgery, the underground car scene that inspired the Fast & Furious series, and more.

Content warning for references to SA from 23:08 - 24:35

0:00 Intro & where the heck I've been

3:18 Atlanta Spa Shootings

5:01 Beginnings of Asian fetishization in Western media

6:29 Colonization and sex work in Asia

7:50 Trafficking, “Yellow Peril”, and the Chinese Exclusion Act

11:20 Bride Schools & the War Brides Act

14:08 90s media, whiteness & model minority myths

16:03 Role models, self-esteem and Sung-Hi Lee

20:00 Representation

21:21 Pin-ups and the Raunch Era

23:08 - 24:35 CONTENT WARNING SA discussion

26:02 Import modeling & the Fast & Furious import car scene

29:27 What is the Asian fetish

31:10 Racial awakenings

34:58 Preference vs. fetish vs. BOTH

40:45 Can you be complicit in your own fetishization?

43:26 Sobriety, self worth & therapy

47:56 Sex icons and role models

50:39 Plastic surgery, whitewashing & erasure

1:00:38 Book release drama

Archival audio:

@ameyamarieokamoto 2022

Today Show reports, 2021

Jackie Fernandez, Asian women are not your fetish - TT @jackiefern IG @jackie_fern

@soogia1 2025

Viola Davis, The View 2022

Sung-Hi Lee, The Girl Next Door, 2004

@AsianHappyHour 2022

Watch the full video version of this episode on patreon: https://www.patreon.com/teawithqj/posts/your-preference-165112637?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

Send your inquiries, thoughts and advice letters to [email protected]

If you'd like to support this work, please share it with a friend and/or join us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/teawithqj

To donate:

www.paypal.com/paypalme/JaniciaF

Cashapp: $JaniciaF

Venmo: @Janicia-Francis

xo

Will an era of rap that's finally making room for its male elders make equitable space for women and MaGes too?

For this conversation we use the Clipse epic rollout as grown ass rappers (Pusha T, 48 & Malice, 53) launching their highly rated album and successful tour - to explore the experiences and P.O.V of Black women in and around the industry. I promise you it's not a reach.

Culture writer Starr Rocque & PR Strategist Uchechi Chinyere join me to discuss all things Clipse, hip-hop, Black women & femmes.

You don’t have to know shxt about the Clipse or their latest album Let God Sort Em’ Out to enjoy this conversation, but also please email and let me know how you managed to avoid knowing shxt about the Clipse during this very Clipse 2025.

I think it's important to note that Tyler the Creator who shows up in one of the best features of the album is queer. We mention his feature, but not his queerness, which IS relevant in THIS conversation.

Watch the full video version of this episode on patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/what-clipse-of-138611501?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

Starr Rocque @starr_rocque

Uchechi Chinyere @wordsbyuchechi

Women rapper thread: https://www.threads.com/@janiciaf/post/DMDQXE7gI6j?xmt=AQF0WN0h7xzS2qlRGsOYMykXzUyAAPgE41MUyQlMM43TAQ

00:00 intro

1:52 Hyperbolic Bronx rappers

3:47 Growing up with The Clipse

8:19 Sometimes you just want n****s to rap

11:54 "Drake" "was" "a" "backpacker"

13:10 The Black Women problem

17:58 Women rappers & The Clipse

23:49 Doechii won't stop talking about her vxgina

24:42 Rapsody the obvious or problematic choice

28:20 Give us nothing Nas!

29:25 Ageism

40:09 André 3000

44:10 Misogyny in hip hop is systemic AND personal

48:46 Colorism

58:47 Christianity

1:09:51 Journalism

1:17:15 When women and girls love hip hop

1:35:46 Gatekeeping Black women out, ushering white people in

1:44:04 Asking for what we deserve

1:49:17 Attending Clipse NPR Tiny Desk

1:52:50 Honesty in hip hop and IRL

1:57:17 Big sibling energy

2:03:59 What happened with The Grapevine

Email me [email protected]

Support

Paypal: www.paypal.com/paypalme/teawithqj

Patreon: www.patreon.com/teawithqj

00:00 Intro & updates

04:57 Who is Deanté Kyle

06:52 Men with podcast mics

12:49 How video podcasting is a call back to an earlier podcast era

15:42 The problem

29:42 Jess Hilarious & The Breakfast Club

31:46 Not every transphobe is a TERF

34:50 Jess Hilarious hates “real women” too

41:17 What’s wrong with birth-centric womanhood

This episode was recorded prior to Deanté Kyle’s use of a derogatory slur (typically used against Mexican Americans) in an instagram comment and does not address that incident. Reference link: https://www.tiktok.com/@cetosdaughter/video/7515458001906568478?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7214922055941899818

Watch the full video version of this episode on patreon https://www.patreon.com/posts/problem-with-too-132076103?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

Email me [email protected]

Support

Paypal: www.paypal.com/paypalme/teawithqj

Patreon: www.patreon.com/teawithqj

If you wear clothes this is a Black ass history conversation that you need. Let's discuss. Fashion & style friend's Channél Jordan & Diamond Stylz join us for history, theory & context.

While we use the Met Gala as a launching point for a larger conversation on Black style, YOU DO NOT NEED TO CARE ABOUT OR TO HAVE SEEN MET GALA COVERAGE to enjoy this episode.

3:05 Pop-culture & fashion in politically perilous times

7:37 Black Dandyism Definitions & Disappointment

15:33 Met Gala theme habits

18:00 Enslavement & Jim Crow vs. the last 100 years

26:44 The exhibit

29:30 Gender

40:28 Corporatism

42:53 Black contributors and the Pharrell of it all

52:05 Respectability & Class

56:47 Sapeurs

1:00:09 Who Understood the assignment

Watch the full video version of this episode on patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/met-gala-was-y-129079950?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

Email me [email protected]

Support

Paypal: www.paypal.com/paypalme/teawithqj

Patreon: www.patreon.com/teawithqj

Before my solo Sinners review, I sat with actor/comedian Chris Lamberth on The Mundane Festival podcast for a fresh-out-the-theater spoiler filled review, and got to cover a few additional themes that were on my mind.

We get into the Black British actor debate, church-y-ness and a fear of spirit (we're seeing a lot of that fear in some Christian's negative reactions to the film), Mary's 'whiteness' and more. (Note: The film had just come out at the time of this recording, so I confuse Mary and Annie's name a few times)

6:05 Michael B. Jordan THE ACTOR

10:13 The Black British actor debate

24:09 The world building of 1932 Mississippi

25:02 Lie-max vs IMAX

28:11 Family, Community & Connection

31:44 The importance of movie theaters

34:26 Hoodoo, Anti-Blackness & the Church

38:21 white Mary

44:01 "Revenge" and "life" vs. "death"

53:57 Brotherhood beyond death

57:42 Ranking Ryan Coogler films

1:00:58 Ryan Coogler's unique press run

1:07:09 Why some Christians are afraid of Sinners and Beyoncé

Watch the full video version of this episode on patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/another-sinners-127862233?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

Email me [email protected]

Support

Paypal: www.paypal.com/paypalme/teawithqj

Patreon: www.patreon.com/teawithqj

Let's review Ryan Coogler's original film "Sinners"

4:58 The Great Migration

10:33 Sammie's Salvation

12:27 Why Twins?

15:11 IMAX baby!!!!

17:14 Why do we sleep on Michael B. Jordan?

21:22 What does "Good" vs "Evil" mean to you?

27:15 Music and Spirit

33:24 "The best day" of their lives

37:39 Oral s*x in 1932

38:43 Vampires, cults and persuasion

44:58 Let's talk world building

49:27 That Jonathan Majors casting rumor

Watch the full video version of this episode on patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/sinners-spoiler-127335654?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

Email me [email protected]

Support

Paypal: www.paypal.com/paypalme/teawithqj

Patreon: www.patreon.com/teawithqj

Over the past five years, after a lifetime of struggling and a lot of research, I’ve come to the conclusion that I probably have ADHD = Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. I’m self-diagnosed, so I invited my medically diagnosed friend Diamond Stylz to discuss all things ADHD and how it impacts our lives.

1:55 Growing up undiagnosed

12:21 What is ADHD?

15:54 Ableism & Stigma

20:18 Symptoms and lowkey hoarding

25:00 Procrastination and executive function/dysfunction

26:55 Diagnoses and medication

33:33 ADHD & depression

36:58 Hormones and ADHD

42:38 Anxiety, depression and environment

49:46 bell hooks and your home

55:59 Getting/hiring help

1:00:11 Love, Limerence & ADHD

1:05:10 Friendship & ADHD

1:10:38 Rejection Sensitivity (RSD)

1:14:18 Releasing shame & building community

Episode credits, links & resources https://www.patreon.com/posts/icymi-theres-new-126784182?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

Watch the full video version of this episode on patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/are-you-raw-adhd-125589631?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

[email protected]

SUPPORT

Paypal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/teawithqj

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/teawithqj

Not to bring up old shxt, but I don't like how "the media" glazed over Kendrick Lamar calling out ShxtsNGigs specifically, on 'wacced out murals'. Kendrick is just as sick of the podcast industrial complex as the rest of us and I think that's hilarious. In this episode we talk about Kendrick (because I must) but more importantly we use the men-with-podcast-equipment epidemic as a jumping off point for how to approach trusting men in our community, the potential for betrayal - and how the way we approach both reflects our understandings of oppression, and our individual relationships to power, privilege, and accountability.

00:58 LA fires, California Black Freedom Fund

2:14 Kendrick Lamar is tired of the podcast industrial complex too

5:51 Queen is ok not watching anime

8:37 Were James & Fuhad ever “one of the good ones”

10:56 Is participating in misogyny a choice

13:18 Misogyny sounds cute in a British accent

15:26 Your privilege increases your capacity to harm

17:16 Hyper-focusing on marginalization lets privilege of the hook

19:33 Deifying “nice” men

23:05 Is the disappointment/upset at men like ShxtsNGigs performative

24:53 Are you an agent of oppression?

31:50 Are you in community with people more marginalized than you

36:40 Is your partner's misogyny a reflection of you

Check out the California Black Freedom Fund https://www.pledge.to/BlackLA

For other vetted funds, resources, and events in California check out Philanthropy CA https://www.philanthropyca.org/2025-california-disaster-response

The previous episode referenced is Black American Dollars, Black American Politics, available on patreon, where we discuss the ShxtsNGigs incident and anti-Blackness across the diaspora: https://www.patreon.com/posts/bonus-video-113195050?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

Watch full video version of this episode on patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/is-participating-121221180?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

Music featured in this episode includes "Totter Teeter" by Guustavv https://www.epidemicsound.com/track/4y6tgclvb0/

DONATE

This episode was created, hosted, and produced by Naima Lewis Muhammad & Janicia Francis, with editorial support from Jonathan Luna,

Opening song by Ohene Cornelius

Let's talk about HOW we're talking about Diddy.

Though Sean "Diddy" Combs is in jail on a variety of SA allegations, a lot of social media content has reduced his alleged behavior to "being freaky" - raising a larger conversation about society's understanding of SA, consent and it's complicated relationship with consensual sex.

Our resident kink enthusiast, Queen breaks down how sex and kinks get harmfully conflated with acts of violence and SA, while J. gets in their Black church kid Telfar about the influence of cultural Christianity, domination & control on community concepts of sex and deviance.

Also the kink spectrum, group sex, the closet queer to r*pist pipeline (that's not a thing), queerness and possibility, and more.

Watch the video version of this episode on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/posts/sex-queerness-118518621?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

00:45 GloRilla's PR savvy

4:09 So Diddy is in jail...

6:15 Exhibit A: Diddy is not from Harlem

9:10 How social media is engaging with the Diddy allegations

10:47 Being "freaky" vs being "a r*pist"

12:52 Conflating sex with deviance is a tradition

14:06 The kink spectrum

18:46 Queerness, non-monogamy and Black cultural Christianity

22:53 How a cultural context of control & domination impacts sexual beliefs

27:13 Not the group sex girlies being surprised by consent

35:35 Closeted sexuality is not a pipeline to being a r*pist

38:00 How disregarding whole groups of people allows abuse to persist

41:27 Kendrick's "Not Like Us" and how it frames SA

DONATE

This episode was created, hosted, and produced by Naima Lewis Muhammad & Janicia Francis, with editorial support from Jonathan Luna,

Opening song by Ohene Cornelius

Your womanist race-nerd recap of all them post-election vibes, is here!

In this lawd halmurphy of an episode we recap the delusion of the Mike Tyson vs. J*ke Paul fight, what we're gonna do about these yt people, the racism of deflecting to non-white voters, performing voter disappointment on social media, how the ego is might be ruining activism, the 4B movement, self-caring to freedom and mad other sh*t.

Check out Kimberly Foster's breakdown of the 4B movement making its way to the US. Shout out to @pardonmewithp for capturing that fresh post-election rage. And our throwback post-election episode #79 Bigotry Didn't Start Last Tuesday is worth the listen as a time-capsule of what was happening at the time politically, the birth and rebranding of the "women's march" and the frustration a lot of us felt towards Hillary Clinton's campaign.

Watch the video version of this episode on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/posts/not-post-shoulda-116836973

0:00 Intro

2:09 Mike Tyson vs Paul fight

5:23 VP Harris Concession speech

7:56 Post-election WTF

16:15 Stop deflecting to non-white voters its eww

21:23 2016 vs 2024 election vibes

24:03 Performative pain for social media

31:28 "Not voting during a genocide" morning afters

35:06 Is your activist ego happy that Tr*mp won

39:57 Is the 4B movement a viable post-election response

50:08 What are we gonna do about yt ppl?

52:00 1:02:00 Can we self-care to freedom?

1:05:02 Is there too much disagreement within the movement?

1:09:24 Can you remove your ego from your activism on social media?

1:15:46 The "Latino" vote

1:18:29 Get in your community!

DONATE

This episode was created, hosted, and produced by Naima Lewis Muhammad & Janicia Francis, with editorial support from Jonathan Luna,

Opening song by Ohene Cornelius