Dr. Eileen L. Cooley lost her husband of 30 years in a span of 2.5 months after he was first diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It was shocking, it was painful. Her children had grown and were no longer living at home and Dr. Elieen was struggling with her grief in the beginning. She found writing to be a comforting thing to help her work through her emotions and through that experience, she wrote the book, Newly Widowed, Now Socially Awkward to help others like her. 

 

Key Takeaways:

• Dr. Elieen shares her story on how she lost her husband. 
• Most of her circle of friends hadn’t been through such a loss and didn’t understand what Dr. Elieen was going through. 
• Dr. Elieen expected the tears and loneliness, but she was caught off-guard when it came to social changes. She was annoyed at people and at herself. 
• Dr. Elieen found comfort in writing herself letters and just taking time to write out her thoughts and feelings. 
• “Call me anytime.” But after trauma, you’re less likely than ever to be the initiator. 
• Dr. Elieen hated when people told her, “You’re stronger than you think.”
• Dr. Elieen would get invited to parties and she had such a conflict with it. She wanted to go, but she also wanted to leave without being noticed. There were a lot of mixed emotions. 
• Susan really noticed things getting tough around the year two mark. 
• As people are stuck in quarantine, the feelings of loss have become so much larger. 
• Dr. Elieen's advice for those grieving is to not try to keep up with anybody’s timetable. You work on your own time. 
• Be kind to yourself and the people in your life. 

 

Get Connected:

Eileencooleyphd.com

Newly Widowed, Now Socially Awkward: Facing Interpersonal Challenges After Loss by Eileen L. Cooley Ph. D.