Terrible Person

Gary and Selena kick things off with a chaotic episode recorded on a tight deadline before a cross-country road trip. Travel plans, overnight drives, Alabama visits, and birthday week chaos set the tone as Gary prepares for a long drive across the country while Selena tries to keep the show somewhat on track.

The episode quickly spirals into listener voicemails, a wild phone call with the Critter Getter of Northern Colorado about mountain lions, wildlife attacks, and surviving the outdoors, and a bizarre conversation about cloning pets, lab-grown babies, and the future of artificial womb technology. Gary and Selena also dive into internet culture, OnlyFans trends, strange celebrity behavior, Instagram turning into nonstop advertising, and the strange places the internet keeps taking modern relationships and entertainment.

Gary and Selena ring in the new year with an engagement story that starts at a bowling alley and ends with a surprise proposal before midnight. They break down the exact moment it happened, the custom ring details, the shock factor, and the immediate regret of forgetting the ring at home the next morning. The night continues with drunk voicemails from Wyoming, recorded snoring evidence, and a debate about faking a wheelchair at the airport to skip security lines.

Gary and Selena also dive into Prince Harry’s memoir, royal family tension, conspiracy theories surrounding the monarchy, and why celebrity drama never really goes away. They react to the Damar Hamlin on field collapse, media backlash over sports commentary, and whether a major game should continue after a life threatening emergency. Add in Jennifer’s Body, The Invitation, early 2000s fashion returning, tracksuits, cargo pants, Thailand travel culture, and the strange online world of older men seeking relationships overseas, and the conversation moves fast between dark humor, pop culture, and uncomfortable honesty.

Gary and Selena open the week still riding the energy of their New Year’s Eve engagement, revisiting how the proposal happened and what it feels like now that it is official. They talk about edibles gone wrong, TMJ pain, spilled water disasters at work, and the chaos of living with a cat that refuses to behave during important moments. The conversation moves into high school memories, long term teenage relationships, and a story about a childhood fight that spirals into a shocking reflection on a former classmate’s tragic death.

Gary and Selena also debate gross hypothetical questions, weird food scenarios, nerds gummy clusters, and the strange things people did in school hallways. They break down the Lifetime movie The Suitcase Killer, the stress of booking flights, overpriced one way tickets to Alabama, buying luggage at Tuesday Morning, and whether Southern travel requires more planning than expected. Add in Jeremy Renner’s snowplow accident, insurance cards, health savings accounts, early 2000s hair trends, bowling night observations about teenagers, and neighbor drama over holiday decorations that never come down, and the conversation jumps rapidly between dark humor, nostalgia, and everyday absurdity.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! This is a VERY SPECIAL mini episode of the podcast.... thank you so much for listening!


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HAPPY NEW YEAR! This is a VERY SPECIAL mini episode of the podcast.... thank you so much for listening!

Gary and Selena kick things off by diving straight into the strange world of internet rap after discovering the wildly chaotic music of DigBar, breaking down outrageous lyrics, viral internet humor, and the kind of absurd content that somehow becomes a cult online phenomenon. The conversation spirals into the bizarre corners of YouTube culture, shock comedy, and why certain artists gain huge followings online.

From there Gary and Selena jump into celebrity chaos, including the Good Morning America scandal involving Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes, workplace affairs exploding into public drama, and the strange culture of morning television personalities becoming tabloid news. They also talk about aging in the public eye, celebrity fitness extremes, and the obsession with image in television and entertainment. The episode also explores odd movie choices with a breakdown of the film Sharp Stick, discussing awkward storytelling, bizarre relationship dynamics, and uncomfortable sex-obsessed character arcs. Gary and Selena debate strange indie film trends, pretentious acting culture, and actors who take “the craft” a little too seriously.

Other topics include Nick Cannon continuing to expand his massive family, the strange behavior people display in public places like malls, frustrating airport travel stories including a man missing a life-saving heart transplant because of weather delays, and the increasingly weird features appearing on social media like Instagram Notes. Gary and Selena also rant about broken apartment gates, neighbors leaving grocery carts around the complex, and the everyday frustrations of living around people who simply refuse to clean up after themselves. The episode bounces between internet culture, celebrity absurdity, apartment living chaos, and the unpredictable randomness that defines modern life.

Happy New Year! We made it...
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Gary and Selena close out the final episode of the year reflecting on the strange, chaotic energy of 2022 and the bizarre corners of the internet that constantly fuel their conversations. They dive into conspiracy theories surrounding TikTok, China, surveillance culture, and the growing concern that social media platforms are quietly collecting massive amounts of personal data that could shape the future in unpredictable ways. The discussion shifts into the viral AI portrait trend where people uploaded dozens of photos to generate stylized images of themselves.

Gary and Selena question why people rush to hand over huge amounts of personal data to unknown tech companies just to see cartoon versions of themselves. This leads into a larger conversation about filters, social media vanity, influencer culture, and the endless stream of Instagram content driven by attention and image obsession. They also explore the strange dynamics of online attraction, viral street interviews, and the kinds of blunt answers that accidentally become internet moments. The conversation jumps between body positivity debates, internet culture, and the line between confidence and self-deception in the age of social media.

Holiday life also becomes a topic as Gary and Selena recap Christmas gifts, new gadgets, skincare routines, and the odd satisfaction of trying to maintain healthy habits like facial care and grooming routines. The episode also touches on COVID aftereffects, including the surprising number of people experiencing hair loss months after infection. Other topics include grocery store revenge against an overbearing employee, awkward restaurant interactions with overly attentive waiters, long road trip plans to Alabama, and the realities of getting older as the new year approaches. The episode blends internet culture, conspiracy theories, holiday reflections, everyday annoyances, and the strange moments that define the end of the year.

Gary and Selena spiral into one of their strangest conversations yet after an edible kicks in and the discussion turns toward conspiracy theories, reptilians, and the idea that reality itself might be an elaborate simulation. Gary breaks down the bizarre theory that ancient reptilian beings created humans as an energy source and secretly control the world through hidden influence, powerful elites, and manipulation of everyday life. The conversation dives into the idea that strange signals from Saturn may be connected to these theories, with claims that sound waves or frequencies could be influencing human perception and shaping reality itself.

Gary walks through the Saturn Moon Matrix theory, the symbolism surrounding Saturn in ancient mythology, and why some conspiracy theorists believe the planet plays a central role in controlling human consciousness. Selena plays skeptic throughout the discussion, questioning the logic behind reptilian overlords, secret elites, and the purpose of manipulating humanity in the first place. Their debate moves between serious curiosity and hilarious disbelief as they try to untangle the strange rabbit holes that conspiracy theories often lead down.

The episode also jumps between pop culture topics including White Lotus, modern relationships, and the way television constantly portrays marriage and infidelity. Gary vents about questionable chiropractic treatments, questionable wellness trends, and the frustration of feeling like every service industry interaction is designed to waste time.

They also imagine what they would do if The Purge were real, debate weapon choices in a completely hypothetical scenario, and discuss whether joining organized crime would even be possible later in life. Holiday chaos, Mormon temple curiosity, run-ins with Jehovah’s Witness missionaries, grocery store confrontations, and Christmas preparations round out the conversation as Gary prepares to cook breakfast for the family. The episode blends conspiracy theories, dark humor, holiday energy, bizarre internet rabbit holes, and everyday frustrations.

Gary and Selena kick off a Christmas episode filled with chaos, holiday energy, and the usual unpredictable conversations that make the show what it is. Gary announces a holiday promotion for the premium feed and teases an upcoming deep dive into reptilian conspiracy theories and the strange Saturn Moon matrix ideas he has been researching. The episode begins with a discussion about possibly changing the name and intro of the show moving forward. Gary considers dropping the traditional intro and reworking the branding as the podcast continues evolving away from its original advice format into something more conversational and chaotic.

Gary also shares the news that his parents are divorcing after more than four decades of marriage, which leads to a conversation about how strange it is to see couples separate later in life. With the divorce comes an unexpected cross country road trip as Gary prepares to fly to Alabama and drive a car back across the country, which could lead to some travel podcast episodes recorded from the road. They talk about seeing Avatar: The Way of Water and debate whether the movie was worth the long runtime. Selena enjoyed the visuals and action while Gary struggled to remember enough from the first movie to fully follow the plot. They break down the ocean tribe, the strange world building, and the over the top spectacle of the action sequences.

Things escalate when Selena nearly wipes out in the living room while confronting Gary about a mysterious substance stuck to the bottom of a cooking pan. After a long day of cooking, dishes, and homemade edibles, she storms across the room to show him the pan and trips over the cat’s new litter box, crashing into the floor and leaving a painful bruise. The story becomes a full reenactment of the moment and quickly turns into one of the most ridiculous domestic arguments imaginable.

Other topics include Tom Cruise performing insane movie stunts, Scott the cat constantly interrupting the podcast, Christmas preparations, homemade edibles, breakfast cooking disasters, and the strange everyday moments that spiral into full blown chaos. The episode sets up the premium episode where Gary promises to explain reptilian conspiracy theories, Saturn symbolism, and the idea that reality itself might be some kind of elaborate illusion.