Thank You Heartbreak with Chelsea Leigh Trescott

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Chelsea responds to "The Girl In A Situation," a listener's letter who describes what she's found while snooping on her new boyfriend's social media. She worries about what it means and how it makes her feel, and Chelsea helps her get to the heart of it. Themes within this episode include: love triangles, not being wild enough, apologizing for yourself, self-sabotaging intimacy by needing to know everything about your partner's past, taking in versus taking on other people's stories, letting past partners be a benchmark for what you must live up to, overcoming judgment, not deleting evidence of your past or diminishing life experiences, eating disorders, being proud of what once was shameful, and how you'll never be sorry for starting.Chelsea also discusses her year with anorexia and...cries. Because this podcast is, in many ways, about rising up with sincerity rather than capsizing in shame, this episode has not been edited but, rather, lets the tears and revelations roll as they happen.—Sign up for Chelsea’s newsletter at: bit.ly/tyhbletterFind Chelsea’s website at: www.breakupward.comWork with Chelsea at: www.breakupward.com/servicesConnect and send in your questions and/or letters on Instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak or by email [email protected]

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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Chelsea responds to a listener’s question about the effects of a partner’s sexual history. Basically, can a decade of transactional sex and porn use cause someone to be emotionally distant? Chelsea gets to the heart of it, exploring not only the question itself but the mystery surrounding it. Like, is it possible to look for safety—or comfort, rather—in a man who is emotionally distant even if emotion is the intimacy you crave? If so, why? Let’s go there. —Sign up for Chelsea’s newsletter at: bit.ly/tyhbletterFind Chelsea’s website at: www.breakupward.comWork with Chelsea at: www.breakupward.com/servicesConnect and send in your questions and/or letters on Instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak or by email [email protected]—Referenced in this episode:Love Warrior: A Memoir by Glennon Doylehttps://www.amazon.com/Love-Warrior-Memoir-Glennon-Doyle/dp/1250075734Not referenced but applicable to this episode is a book that should be required reading for all:Scary Close: Dropping the Act and Finding True Intimacy by Donald Millerhttps://www.amazon.com/Scary-Close-Dropping-Finding-Intimacy/dp/078521318X/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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Chelsea talks about one of the—if not the—most disempowering acts of all time: waiting. Whether it’s waiting to break up or to start dating a person of a certain stature or compatibility, whether it’s waiting to quit a wasteful habit or a destructive dependency, it all circles back to our fear of assuming our full potential. Chelsea gets real about her frightening dependency on Adderall and her tendency to put her “real life” on hold… for an entire decade… and why freeing herself from her own self-restraint is the bold move that quickly launched her into, not only having more but, showing up more which directly relates to being more.She talks about how no longer waiting to become more before she acts is the very act that’s placing her in the arena she’s always longed to be invited into.For starters, The Bachelor world. Last Tuesday, Chelsea was invited onto iHeart Radio’s Help! I Suck At Dating—a podcast hosted by three former Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants. In today’s episode, she talks about how she made that happen, what that represents, and why she shamelessly applied to be on The Bachelor four times… spoiler… it doesn’t just have to do with love. To skip ahead to Chelsea reading from her Thought Catalog article, “Read This If You’re Waiting For Your Real Life To Begin” jump to minute 27.If you’re waiting for your "real life" to begin, this episode is for you.—Sign up for Chelsea’s newsletter at: bit.ly/tyhbletterFind Chelsea’s website at: www.breakupward.comWork with Chelsea at: www.breakupward.com/servicesConnect and send in your questions and/or letters on Instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak or by email [email protected]—Books, quotes, and other good stuff mentioned in this episode:Help! I Suck At Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared by iHeartRadiohttps://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/help-i-suck-at-dating-with-dean-vanessa-and-jared/id1287751932?mt=2Kick Ass by Mel Robbins on Audiblehttps://www.audible.com/pd/Business/Kick-Ass-with-Mel-Robbins-Audiobook/B07BZV7FKKMel Robbins, “You need to hear this loud and clear: No one is coming. It is up to you.”https://www.amazon.com/Second-Rule-Transform-Confidence-Everyday/dp/1682612384Mel Robbins, “When it comes to change, goals, and dreams, you have to bet on yourself.” https://www.amazon.com/Second-Rule-Transform-Confidence-Everyday/dp/1682612384The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbinshttps://www.amazon.com/Second-Rule-Transform-Confidence-Everyday/dp/1682612384Read This If You’re Waiting For Your Real Life To Begin by Chelsea Leigh Trescotthttps://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott/2016/04/read-this-if-youre-waiting-for-your-real-life-to-begin/

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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Chelsea talks heartbreak with Angelica Hodges, a Nutritional Therapy Practitioner, Certified Health Coach, personal chef, and host of the soon to be released podcast Heart Centered Living.Angelica gets candid about:— The perks of raising a child as a single mom— How marriage doesn’t just mean you’re ready for parenthood— A woman's intuition— Falling out of trust with yourself over time through life experiences and how we return to love (and empowerment) when we reengage with our instinct and self-belief— How becoming a wife taught her the power of choosing her partner every day— Why your significant other should come before your children— Why carving out time for self-care is not selfish but selfless— What landed her in therapy and why she’s such an advocate for asking for help today— Plus, her one hope for this world… spoiler… it has something to do with no longer seeking permission to be yourself. Visit Angelica’s website at: www.simplydeliciousnutrition.comConnect with Angelica on Instagram at: www.instagram.com/simplydeliciousnutritionConnect with Angelica on Facebook at: www.facebook.com/simplydeliciousnutrition —Sign up for Chelsea’s newsletter at: bit.ly/tyhbletterFind Chelsea’s website at: www.breakupward.comWork with Chelsea at: www.breakupward.com/servicesConnect and send in your questions on Instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak or to [email protected]

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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Chelsea responds to a listener’s question about emotional abuse. How can one stay friends with someone who’s been emotionally abusive in the past and what kind of boundaries can be set to protect themselves against future harm? Chelsea gets to the heart of it. —Sign up for Chelsea’s newsletter at: bit.ly/tyhbletterFind Chelsea’s website at: www.breakupward.comWork with Chelsea at: www.breakupward.com/servicesConnect and send in your questions and/or letters on Instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak or by email [email protected]—Referenced in this episode:Zen and the Art of Falling in Love by Dr. Brenda Shoshannawww.amazon.com/Zen-Falling-Love-Brenda-Shoshanna/dp/0743243366/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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Chelsea takes a sick day, opting to push pause on addressing listener’s stories and turn the questions on herself in an effort to heal physically and maybe even emotionally too. Answering the first three questions from her 31-Days of Braver Questioning Workbook, Chelsea is a believer that healing post-breakup has everything to do with the cathartic, and often uncomfortable, process of confronting the questions you have for yourself about your relationship as well as the truths that are hard and sometimes shameful to convey and confess. This episode is Chelsea’s attempt to purge herself of the questions themselves. The three questions she addresses are:+ What do you think the world is trying to wake you up to or, perhaps, is even trying to save you from through this breakup?+ During your relationship where might you have been passively engaging in life? Was there anything you were doing before your breakup that just didn’t feel right or honest, that didn’t feel like enough?+ If you had the chance to sit down with your ex, would you be more interested in hearing what’s in his or her heart or voicing what’s in your own? What do you think you would hear? What would you want to say or ask?—Articles and other gems referenced in this episode:I mistakenly attributed the article on choosing your partner every day to Mark Manson. It was actually written by Life & Relationship Coach (+ Relationship Insight Ninja) Bryan Reeves in one of his infamous articles, "Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her).” A definite read.https://bryanreeves.com/choose-her-everyday-or-leave-her/Mark Manson is an insight ninja too. I recommend every article (and book) of his. Give his article, “Maybe You Don’t Know What Love Is” a read.https://markmanson.net/what-love-isTo receive the Breakupward Workbook containing the questions discussed within this episode, sign up to the newsletter below and have it sent your way. It’s a downloadable and fillable PDF that you can print or type your answers into from the convenience of your computer. Enjoy :) And respond to the email with your own answers, should you feel so compelled.https://bit.ly/tyhbletter

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

Send us Fan Mail

Chelsea responds to a letter from Fiancée Left Behind. The central question surrounds our need for closure, and our tendency to look to our ex for answers and peace. Chelsea gets to the heart of it, offering an alternative view of what closure means and how one can achieve it on their own. Also discussed in this episode is, how we don’t always know what we are working for or really moving towards and, because of this, the importance of having strength on reserve. —Sign up for Chelsea’s newsletter at: bit.ly/tyhbletterFind Chelsea’s website at: www.breakupward.comWork with Chelsea at: www.breakupward.com/servicesConnect and send in your questions and/or letters on Instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak or by email [email protected]—Quoted in this episode:Brené Brown, “When we deny our stories and disengage from tough emotions, they don’t go away; instead, they own us, they define us. Our job is not to deny the story, but to defy the ending—to rise strong, recognize our story, and rumble with the truth until we get to a place where we think, Yes. This is what happened. This is my truth. And I will choose how this story ends.”Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brownwww.amazon.com/Rising-Strong-Abi…ent/dp/081298580X

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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The morning after attending a funeral, Chelsea wakes up feeling good, really good about life. Instead of focusing on why this is, she tells her listeners HOW this is. In other words, how can someone wake up and feel good? How can we wake up in the aftermath of grief and feel better?With utter transparency, Chelsea walks her listeners through her day. Showing them that life is a series of choices, and the bolder we can be, the better we will feel for the very reason that we are living life on our unique terms. In this episode, she talks about:+ The importance of saying yes in the places where you've withdrawn and are saying no+ Loving the questions and living for the opportunities+ Using crossroads as invitations+ The benefits of opting for the more uncomfortable choice and doing what you would do if you weren't intimidated by the potential for emotional consequences+ Celebrating small wins, judging less, hugging longer, and telling people you love them all along+ How not controlling others with your own expectations frees you to not be controlled either+ Not taking lives for granted, rooting for people even if they can't see or hear you, why it's not useless to love people from afar, and plenty more.PS: If you're not into storytime with Chelsea, totally understandable. Skip ahead to the last ten minutes for this episode's sparkly takeaways.Sign up for Chelsea’s newsletter at: bit.ly/tyhbletterFind Chelsea’s website at: www.breakupward.comWork with Chelsea at: www.breakupward.com/servicesConnect and send in your questions on Instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak—Books discussed in this episode:The Answer to How Is Yes: Acting on What Matters by Peter Blockhttps://www.amazon.com/Answer-How-Yes-Acting-Matters/dp/1576752712“The first symptom of true love in a man is timidity, in a young woman, boldness. This is surprising, and yet nothing is more simple. It is the two sexes tending to approach each other and assuming each the other's qualities.” from Les Misérables by Victor Hugohttps://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0140444300/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_taft_p1_i1

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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TYHB listener’s voted for a solo episode so here it is. It’s 1:55 am and Chelsea has just returned from an evening out with her ex boyfriend and the first love of her life. It was an unexpected, unfiltered, unmediated rendezvous and so is this episode. Chelsea reflects on their night together and, really, the relationship her and her ex shared. She talks about why their time together was a Breakupward moment in and of itself and why she thinks she’s able to see her ex all these years later with nostalgia and without any trace of animosity, regret, or sadness. She also talks about how her world has begun to feel small and what that suggests to her about how she's living her life. Of course, in typical Chelsea fashion, she mentions Maya Angelou, Oprah, and touches upon Brené Brown's belief that maybe what the world really needs is less retrospective wisdom and more brave hearts showing people what it looks like, feels like, and sounds like to be in the midst of change. Chelsea wonders aloud about what her listeners may really be yearning for and what this podcast should perhaps expose. She wraps this episode up with a bit of a slip up, expressing what it is she misses about her most recent ex and the ritual she ends her night with. Here’s a hint, it starts with “thank you” and ends with "I love you.”—Sign up for Chelsea’s newsletter at: bit.ly/tyhbletterFind Chelsea’s website at: www.breakupward.comWork with Chelsea at: www.breakupward.com/servicesConnect and send in your questions and/or letters on Instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak or by email [email protected]—Books, quotes, and other good stuff mentioned in this episode:Lindeman’s Framboise—a Lambic beer she and her ex poured over mint chip ice cream, creating a deliriously, delicious alcoholic float.http://www.totalwine.com/ale/belgian-style-ale/fruit-lambic/lindemans-framboise/p/7144825-1?glia=true&s=303&pid=cpc:Shopping+US+NEWJ+ENG+SPART:::google:&gclid=CjwKCAjww6XXBRByEiwAM-ZUIPx10sgKl0YXhDBLWr5XCQDBOXBJZL4bMz19Bq8Gr9oCVYXYfG7IBRoCmjEQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.dsThe Polaroid Spectra System (1200 Type) Camerahttps://www.ebay.com/sch/items/?_nkw=Polaroid+Spectra+System+Camera&_sacat=&_ex_kw=&_mPrRngCbx=1&_udlo=&_udhi=&_sop=12&_fpos=&_fspt=1&_sadis=&LH_CAds=&rmvSB=trueMaya Angelou, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”East Village Barber Shophttp://www.eastvillagebarbershop.com/Super Soul Sunday with Dr. Brené Brown (and Oprah)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFaA7mvgMNkRising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brownhttps://www.amazon.com/Rising-Strong-Ability-Transforms-Parent/dp/081298580X

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott

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Chelsea responds to a letter from Discardable, a listener who’s seeking advice. Discardable feels unsupported and like she’s constantly prioritizing her partner’s feelings over her own. How can she know whether she’s in the “devalue/discard” phase of a relationship? Chelsea gets to the heart of it. —Sign up for Chelsea’s newsletter at: bit.ly/tyhbletterFind Chelsea’s website at: www.breakupward.comWork with Chelsea at: www.breakupward.com/servicesConnect and send in your questions and/or letters on Instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak or by email [email protected]

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak

Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com

Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott