That Was Disappointing...

Episode 041 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

The one apocalypse we’d be safe from as we don’t have the brains to spare.

Today’s Theme: Zombies. You know, the thing that should’ve stopped being a thing a decade ago.

Our first topic is the Best. Zombie Video Game. Ever. The fact Zombies Ate My Neighbors didn’t make the cut is a crime. Especially when a game about a farting zombie did! Matt, why didn’t you plan for this topic better?

Our second topic is if you were bitten, whether you’d a) put a bullet through your brain or b) allow yourself to become zombified. Lex is keeping it real... real fucking morbid! At least these topics won’t get anymore dire. Right, Producer Kenny?

Our third topic is what’s more terrifying: slow or fast zombies. I mean, how is this even a contest? Then again, given Art’s cardio, the slow zombies might be able to outpace him. In other news, we’re going to need a new cohost.

Our final topic is if you’d be able to put your loved one down if they became a zombie. Well, I guess that blows our second topic out of the water. Good thing Jeff’s wife doesn’t listen to our show or his sleeping arrangements would be downgraded from the couch to the tub. Hi-yo!

Episode 040 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

“It’s so hard to say goodbye to... Producer Dave!”

Today’s Theme: Goodbye Producer Davey, Hello Producer Kenny

Yep, Producer Dave is headed out the door. He received a promotion to something called fatherhood. Pfffffft!

Oh no, whatever will we do without someone who’s biggest contribution to the podcast is forgetting to update the Google Drive document? And we’re replacing him with someone, Producer Kenny, who’s been data mining and is from the school of analytics!? Oh woe is us!

Seriously though, all of his quirks/inefficiencies aside, he’s our brother and we love him. And we couldn’t be happier for him (and his wife) as he becomes a proud papa... even is he has no clue what he’s getting into. ❤️

Episode 039 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

Still more popular than Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch!

Today’s Theme: Baseball. We even brought in an extra panelist to pinch hit for Art as there’s only two balls he’s familiar with.

Our first topic is MLB’s lack of a salary cap. Lex wants to know if it makes a difference or do good teams just do smart things (e.g, the Baltimore Orioles from 1966-1983) and bad teams just do dumb things (e.g., the Baltimore Orioles from 1984 to 2180).

Our second topic is whether baseball is still considered to be America’s pastime. *guffaws* Sure thing, Art. Also, the Tooth Fairy is real and Mall Santas really do fly home to the North Pole every night. Seriously though, who else thinks Curling is ready to step up and earn its place in the sun?

Our third topic is reminiscing about the best game we ever attended. This was just an excuse for Ryan to talk about the time he got to sing the national anthem before a game. Regretfully, Dave didn’t share the tale about the time he met *redacted* in the tunnel and their (mis)adventures with the bat handle.

Our fourth (not final!?) topic is why is baseball just so gosh darn boring? I’m football, you have 11 separate battles on every single play; in baseball, you have a lot of crotch adjusting and stepping off the mound. I mean, the sports couldn’t be any more similar, Kenny. Just one of life’s many great mysteries...

And lastly, our final topic has to do with the best baseball film of all-time. Newcomer George had the perfect opportunity to make the case for The Bad News Bears Go to Japan but he punted for one of the classics. Speaking of, how could Tom Selleck and his beautiful mustache get no votes for Mr. Baseball?

Episode 038 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

Everybody...

Cringe your body...

Everybody...

Cringe your body right...

Shitheads back alright...

Today’s Theme: The 1990’s. Too soon for Justin Bieber, too late for Dexys Midnight Runners.

Our first topic is fashion. Specifically, what era of the 90’s was your spirit animal. Everyone remembers Art’s M.C. Hammer’s Pants-phase, so we’re not sure who he’s kidding when talking about his “grunge” look. Meanwhile, Producer Dave had to be reminded that Borat’s mankini didn’t come until a decade later. womp womp

Our second topic is what fad would you like to see make a comeback. Tim allowed us all to relive some of our favorite childhood tchotchkes that had their 15-minutes-of-fame. Sorry, but any debate that doesn’t include Bop It is complete and utter horseshit.

Our third topic is a battle of the boy bands. As in... an actual battle. Yes, Lex wants to know if they all threw down, which of these supergroups would reign supreme. A decade too late for Musical Youth and their anthem “Pass the Dutchie.” Google ‘em!

Our final topic is Y2K. Funny fact: Chris was born halfway into the decade, making him the ideal guest to talk to about 1990’s fashion and fads. JFC, it’s like we’re not even trying anymore. I’d say this is part of the show’s brilliance, but no, we’re really just that dumb. Or we need a new producer. Say that gives me an idea...

Episode 037 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

The luck of the Irish be with you! We are so f*cked.

Today’s theme: Happy St. Paddy’s Day. Be mindful of your drinkshcjdkcrujskpf...

Our first topic is whiskey dick. Instead of sharing his own personal horror story, Art decided to take a shot at another panelist, so in turn, another panelist aired Art’s dirty laundry. It’s the circle of life, Simba. Suffice to say, this is another good episode to listen to if you want any blackmail on the four of us.

Our second topic is what American hero/zero deserves to be their own Catholic Saint. Kenny was hoping his topic would stir some really patriotic conversation, but the only conclusion we were able to draw is that this country has some really shitty role models. I mean, when Colonel Sanders enters the fray, you’ve reached the doldrums.

Our third topic is how much money would it take for you to fight Conor McGregor. Lex ridiculously, foolishly, idiotically (or insert your own Mad Libs adjective here) says he’d fight Conor for no money as a) the 15-minutes of fame would net him more and b) he’d make a killing in the Cameo game afterwards. Meanwhile, Producer Dave wouldn’t accept any money as he just needs a warm embrace... even if it’s in the Octagon. *sniffs*

Our final topic is your worst hangover story. Chris continues to grasp at that low hanging fruit whenever we invite him on the show as a guest. I guess we should be glad his topic wasn’t “What’s your favorite beer?” Hmmm... not e to self, don’t invite him back in for the Cinco de Mayo episode.

Episode 036 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

In space, no one can sense your boredom.

Today’s theme: Your Balls, My Balls, SPACE BALLS!

Our first topic is what items you’d blast into space, knowing full well they’d be found by extraterrestrial life. Will Lex bring about the destruction of our planet with this topic? And more importantly, will sexy time be involved? Survey says YES!

Our second topic is our favorite space-related movie or television program. How Buck Rogers in the 25th Century was shafted but Pigs in Space got a vote is anyone’s guess. Make sure you send any hate mail to Kelly. However, send it C/O Producer Dave as we actually like her.

Our third topic is whether you’d take the plunge and take a one-way trip to the red planet. Guess there’s trouble in paradise as this is the topic Art brought to the program. I guess it’s better than the couch though, eh?

Our final topic is what planet, moon, etc., of our solar system you’d visit, if given the chance. Unfortunately, Jeff served us up a golden opportunity to make the first “Uranus” comment of the episode. To be fair, did you really think we could avoid it for the whole hour?

Episode 035 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA WE SUCK!!!

We’re switching it up because we’re out of ideas. Huzzah! From now on all our topics revolve around a central theme. This week: dorks who wear their undies on the outside.

Our first topic is the infinity stones. Mind? Power? Reality? Soul? Space? Time? Our cohost with the least, Lex, wants you to pick your poison: What stone do you value most and would want to hold in your possession? What’s his obsession with bringing the world to his heel anyway? Doesn’t he see all the beauty in the—

scans the past year of news headlines

Never mind. Carry on!

Our second topic is our favorite one-shot storylines. Kenny isn’t talking The Dark Phoenix Saga or The Death of Superman. He’s thinking more the time Archie met The Punisher. Holy shit! How did we forget to mention this during the discussion!? Guess you can blame Producer Dave for not bringing it up in the chat. Then again, his understanding of comics begins and ends with Marmaduke, so perhaps we should give him a break...

Our third topic is what was the first comic that got us into our obsession. It’s hysterical that this is Art’s topic, given the fact that a) he couldn’t give a shit less about superheroes and b) he’d rather be traipsing about in a field with Frodo Baggins anyway. Still, here we are. E for Effort though, champ. 

Our final topic is the immortal question: Superman or Batman? As in, who’s your fave, knave? We’ll pause as you marvel at our elegant verbiage there. Ryan kept it safe in his inaugural appearance on the podcast. Hey, at least he didn’t ask who the lamest member was of the Justice League. We all know that’s Thor. Duh!

Episode 034 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

It’s the Birthday Special! Don’t care about Ben? Err... maybe skip this episode?

Our first topic is karaoke. Specifically, the times you really tore the house down with your bad self.

“Never gonna give you up

Never gonna let you down

Never gonna run around and desert you

Never gonna make you cry

Never gonna say goodbye

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you”

You can thank Al for that.

Our second topic is A Day in the Life of the Stanley Cup. The least popular sport (let’s be honest) has the coolest f***ing trophy and Lex wants to know what all the panelists would do if they got to spend a day celebrating with it. Yes, he would defile it. As would Producer Dave, who needs something other than his participation trophies to bask in.

Our third topic pertains to taking television characters from different eras and sticking them in a show from another era. Art will do anything to keep Dawson Leery relevant. Hell, he used to fancy himself as a character from the show... until life hit him like a garbage truck, if it were to repeatedly back up and run over him again-and-again-and-again.

Our final topic is like the end of Ghostbusters (the good one!) where you get to pick the object of your demise. The fact that our birthday boy, Ben, picked such a grim topic is probably a cause for concern, but seeing as hardly anyone listens to this show to begin with, it’s like screaming into a vacuum.

Episode 033 of That Was Disappointing is Live.

A divine number for an oh-so-shitty show. 

Our first topic is and bear with us here... what sense would you lose for a year if a) it honed the rest of your senses and b) your lost sense returned as a “super sense” after that one year. Between Art not understanding how Daredevil works and other panelists not knowing the five sense, we were firing on all cylinders here.

Our second topic is parallel universes. Specifically, what parallel universe version of yourself would you like to meet. All the Jiu-Jitsu and Sanshou training must be going to his head as Lex wants to meet the evil version of himself. Whether he can pull off the bald look of Lex Luthor is another question all-together. Answer: he can’t.

Our third topic pertains to Mercury in retrograde. Don’t know what we’re talking about it? Wiki it, fool. That’s what our sacrificial (show) virgin, Jay, told us to do when introducing this topic. He does realize that Producer Dave doesn’t even know how to say the word “Wikipedia,” let along use the service, right?

Our final topic is, and yet again, bear with us here... what parts of 3 different cities would you take to make your ideal city. Folks, this is the best you can get when you invite Chris on your show. His “grandiose” ideas are spur of the moment, so there’s really nothing we can do... but put him on last. Hi-yo!

Episode 032 of That Was Disappointing is Live.   

Stonks! Otherwise known as the episode where Art puts r/wallstreetbets users on blast. *whistles*

Our first topic is parenting advice. Art decided to ask the three panelists (with kids) questions like “what surprised you the most?” and other dumb shit that made us guffaw. Meanwhile, as an expectant parent, Producer Dave thought it was wise to share his “knowledge” about the situation. Oh, to be the fly on the wall of his nursery when he realizes the knowledge you glean from a book on the topic is laughable.

Our second topic is overrated shit. We’ve touched on similar topics in the past, which shows that Joshua really prepared for this episode. We get it, you don’t like LOTR. That puts you in such lofty company as Randal Graves. If you have to Google that name, I doubt you’re even old enough to smoke yet, so you definitely shouldn’t be listening to this podcast.

Our third topic pertains to the GameStop stocks saga. We’re a bit behind in taping new episodes, so we get to be topical for once. Huzzah! Lex has no problem admitting he’d cave like a coward the moment something in his portfolio exploded like this rather than sticking it to The Man. He’d cry all about it too on his private beach in Tahiti. Losers!

Our final topic is fantasy realms we’d like to reside in. Sadly, we told Jeff his pick of the Playboy Mansion wasn’t an acceptable response as a) it’s a real location b) he doesn’t have the cred to get an invite and c) the restraining order is still in effect.