The 100 Word Stories Podcast

Unlike other demons who required fancy rituals, sacrifices, and strange geometric patterns drawn on the floor, Agarro Darkshade had an ad in the yellow pages. Forgoing the traditional fireball, he preferred to knock on the front door. He also didn’t require souls or other rare artifacts for payment, he just traded in cash. No checks or credit cards, he wasn’t set up for that. He also didn’t practice dark magic. There was enough of that going about. Most of the time he’d snap his fingers to clean a house, fix a clanky air-conditioning system, or get a car running again.

Hampton Maddox drew the short straw and earned the role of getaway driver for the heist. The thing is, he didn’t know whether he should wear a mask or not. I mean, sitting there in a car in a mask is kind of suspicious, but if there are cameras on the street, they’ll clearly identify him. So he split the difference and put on nose glasses with a Groucho mustache. A cigar completed the ensemble. However, when the gang ran out of the bank, he forgot how to unlock the doors. He rolled down the windows though. That’s sorta worked.

Sixgun McGinty had an itchy trigger finger. Thankfully itchy trigger fingers are covered by the gunslinger union medical plan. Doc Walker gave him some pills and a cream and advised him to wear thin gloves for a few weeks. His condition significantly improved and instead of prematurely blowing away deputies and sheriffs and Marshalls, he shot them at a more reasonable and decent pace. Not that the law men ever felt like that. They felt like they were shot and bleeding out, which they did. McGinty then complained of a sore throat, but they still put a rope around it.

Frederick maintained the boiling oil over the entryway at the Duke’s castle. But he used the finest cooking oil of the kingdom, and he had a side business of making skewers of tempura, vegetables and chicken. It was quite the lucrative venture. On Thanksgiving, he would deep fry turkeys. The Duke really enjoyed deep fried turkey, and he gave Frederick a promotion. Frederick‘s assistant, then took over the oil duties, but the next Thanksgiving he forgot to thaw the turkey and when they were dropped in to the cauldron, the ice flashed to steam and scalded everyone in the tower.

When it came to jobs at the castle, a lot of the guards were jealous of Frederick. He was in charge of the night shift for the boiling oil that they could pour over enemy soldiers coming through the main entrance. with the castle being in northern Denmark, and it’s cold climate, Frederick was warm in winter while the archers on the parapets had to wrap themselves in multiple elk skins. Then the Duke remodeled the entrance to use interchangeable archers to fire through murder holes. Frederick was not so good with a bow and arrow, and he was downsized.

More and more football players are suffering the effects of multiple concussions and brain damage. Despite tougher rules and tougher helmets, weak schools and brains still end up damaged. Thankfully, there’s an endless supply of guys willing to make millions at the expense of their long-term health. Scientists look to nature for Solutions. The woodpecker has a tongue so long, it wraps around its brain while it’s bashing its head against a tree. Genetically engineering a football player with such a long tongue might be difficult, but I’m sure that the cheerleaders and the players baby mamas would approve.

Jenny saw the silver picture frames at an estate sale. There weren’t any pictures in them. Which meant the family wanted the photos but not the frames which is strange, I mean, they’re silver, but maybe they just needed the money. Or maybe they bought the frames but never got around to putting pictures in them. Or they took the pictures out to put into a photo album. Her mind raced with possibilities, telling stories and stories about stories. She bought them for really cheap, went to a jewelry store, and sold them for their silver. For a good price.

The Robo corporation releases new models every year. The latest, Trixie, is a rather versatile model that can handle most tasks. Unlike their Heather or Yoko, it can handle domestic housework, babysitting, offshore oil rig maintenance, and some surgical procedures. The Eloise, which was recalled recently, was only in limited release and despite several firmware updates, never quite could get the hang of yoga or crochet. And the less said about Cynthia, the better. When I last heard, the class action lawsuit had been settled with the victims or their families. What a nasty piece of work that Cynthia was.

A pair of Jehovah’s Witnesses girls were at the door, asking me if I wanted to go to church with them to learn about Jesus Christ. I told them that they’re at the wrong house. Jesus Christ lives next-door. They didn’t believe me, so I walked over next door with them and knocked, and Jesus opened the door and said hey. The two girls were absolutely stunned. I said hey dude. Can I get my lawnmower back? Jesus shrugged and told his voice assistant to open the garage. The girls just stood there, I went and got my lawnmower back.

The next topic is An empty cup

LISA

The Case of the Missing Baggage

Have you seen online where someone buys unclaimed baggage and then livestreams the opening to show what they got for the money? I tried it!

RICHARD

Tokyo Drift

Tokyo isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, believe me.

SERENDIPIDY

The name’s evocative, isn’t it?

LEWIE

Title: Everything But the Tea

“I need to grab a bottle of tea”, the tourist said.

They stepped into a konbini. A selection of 30 rice balls caught their attention. After five minutes, they panicked and grabbed the only flavor they couldn’t identify, deciding to live life to its fullest and take a chance.

The little store in Tokyo had a better life organization than they did.

They picked up fried chicken, pudding, socks, and a phone charger.

“Would you want chopsticks, a spoon, a bag, a receipt, and heating?” the cashier asked.

So many questions, and overcome with a fear of forgetting something.

“Yes”

LIZZIE

He booked a trip to Japan. He wanted to visit Kyoto, Osaka, Kobe. He wanted to just sit and enjoy the beauty of the cherry blossoms. So, he landed in Tokyo. He was hungry. He went to a street vendor and sat down to eat. And he stayed. He ate and stayed some more. The food was so good, Kyoto and everywhere else would have to wait. A few months later, he moved to Tokyo, and his life changed. Strange guys with massive tattoos hired him to be a bouncer. He’d do anything for that food, even go to jail.

TOM

My Woman From Tokyo

Uncle Bob loved to tell tales of his time in China during the war. His job was to guard high value Japanizes prisoner. After VJ day he continues this work in Tokyo. This is how he met Iva Toguri the voice of Zero Hour, Tokyo Rose. Uncle Bob was her guard and they become good friends. When Iva was released from prison she settled in Chicago. She and my uncle remained friends until his death in 1981. He always spoke highly of her and thought the government had treated her unfairly. I think he might have had a crush on her.

NORVAL JOE

Pinkerton turned to Joan. “Where do you think they are?”

Joan shrugged. “Last we saw, Mr. Yaan was being carried out to sea by a tornado. He’s probably halfway to Tokyo by now.”

Ms. Pinkerton’s face went bright red. She snarled, “Don’t mock me.”

“I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking,” Joan said, recognizing only her superpower might save them and a veil of efficiency spread around them. “Patrick and Bobby Yaan can verify this.”

“Okay, bit it’s late,” Pinkerton said. “We can meet at the Yaan’s house tomorrow morning, say 9:00?”

Joan nodded and shuttled Sabrina back to her car.

PLANET Z

Just as I was waking up and making a cup of coffee, I knew that my coworker in Japan was coming home from a night out in the Tokyo clubs. He usually left an encouraging message and a stack of code changes that I needed to test and document. However, this night there was a ransom note and a photo of a bloody finger. They wanted access to the code base, but my coworker refused to enter the password. Company policy is to notify our security team so I did. I finished my coffee, sat in my chair, and prayed.