The 100 Word Stories Podcast

The art institute sent out invitations to artists every year to display their works at the annual Queen’s Show.

Most superpowered individuals register with their respective governments. Some governments are more open about their members than others are, but all of them hold back a few names. Whether you call them heroes or villains, it all depends on the circumstance, I guess. And some individuals prefer the vigilante track. There is no global registry, so sometimes there’s two or three records for the same person or different translations of their name. So, what you have there is Captain Cyclone from Sri Lanka, not Captain Hurricane from old New Orleans, we can bring you in peacefully or not. Your choice.

A friend of mine has been having hip problems for years.

I put vibration sensors on my trashcan and recycling bin so I know when they have been collected. That way I can go out and wheel them back up the driveway. I set the sensors only to go off on the mornings that they’re supposed to be collected. However, if I have a late bag of trash or collection of cans to recycle, dumping them in the bin that morning will set off the sensor. The only person that bothers is me, so I should probably just disable the sensors and relax a bit. Life isn’t graded on a curve.

When I go for my walk in the morning, I can choose between turning left and turning right at the main road Left allows me to take the short path through the trees and I’m done in 15 minutes. Or I can just keep going and head out to the Main route for another 5 to 10 minutes walk. If I turn right, I can walk the path through the abandoned golf course that was turned into a park. But that takes me about 30 or 40 minutes. In the end, it’s just important that I get up and walk and get my ass moving.

Now that colleges can’t use standardized tests because they’re racist or sexist or something, they have to figure out if a student GPA of 4.7 is legitimate or just inflated bullshit from the football factory high school. This is why colleges write no refunds on the admissions form. And to add to the turnover, they gave up an offering remedial math, remedial English, and pretty much remedial everything else. The few people who managed to graduate did so with useless degrees in psychology, sociology, gender studies, race studies, and other worthless pieces of paper in the job marketplace. Society collapsed.

The next topic is Tokyo

LIZZIE

Dear You,

RICHARD

Wish you were here

TOM

From the Lost Room

For many years I have been on a great scavenger’s hunt. It was connected to the tv show “The Lost Room”. One of the items of the collection was a painting of an old oak tree. In the fore-ground of the painting was on odd shape stone. After much searching, I learned the oak in question had been on the U of C campus in Berkley. Figured the paint might have some source image. So, I found an old postcard from 1915 which pretty much matched the painting. Written on the card was an update about a trip to Oakland.

SERENDIPIDY

I was struggling with the latest Windows update.

NORVAL JOE

Old Doris Grindlebomb was 92 when her family took her keys away. No, they weren’t the keys to her Cadillac convertible. There was no way in hell they were gonna take those away from her no matter how blind she was. Or, blind drunk. It was the keys to piano that they took away. For 70 years, she had been the music teacher at the local elementary school, and they would’ve retired her long ago if anyone else had wanted the job. She switched to the saxophone. She was so bad at it, they gave her the piano keys back.

PLANET Z

Old Doris Grindlebomb was 92 when her family took her keys away. No, they weren’t the keys to her Cadillac convertible. There was no way in hell they were gonna take those away from her no matter how blind she was. Or, blind drunk. It was the keys to piano that they took away. For 70 years, she had been the music teacher at the local elementary school, and they would’ve retired her long ago if anyone else had wanted the job. She switched to the saxophone. She was so bad at it, they gave her the piano keys back.

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate. The rare times his captain gave him a mission, he’d fail it miserably. But when the entire crew came down with a plague and George was the only man spared, the captain begrudgingly sent George out to obtain a rare flower to brew a tea to cure the malady. George set out that day in the longboat, landing on a tropical island. He found a clearing with many flowers, and he brought them back to the ship… too late. He made wreaths of the flowers and held many funerals.

The mayor never liked it when people called Centerville, a one traffic light town. So he had the traffic light removed and replaced with a four-way stop. And the accident rate didn’t change that much, considering that there were never any accidents in the town. You thought about putting in a traffic circle. Things that he read on the Internet said that traffic circles were safer, but it was a small intersection already and didn’t need all the ruckus to build up the traffic circle. Although putting some flowers or a flag pole in the round would’ve looked nice.

When Lucy lost her first tooth, she kind of freaked out. She thought she was gonna completely fall apart. I told her now it’s just teeth, although every now and then a fingernail might come loose and hair and eyelashes will fall out. The tooth fairy gave her a dollar that night. However, when my friend Bill came over, who had lost a leg to cancer, Lucy completely freaked out. By the time Bill and I calmed her down, she asked how much money the leg fairy gave Bill. Bill laughed, and said nothing. But it cost him a lot.