Antonio Banderas trades Zorro for Viking cosplay in The 13th Warrior—a medieval dark epic where an Arab poet battles bear-worshipping cannibals with Norsemen who scream louder than the plot holes. Directed by John McTiernan (then Michael Crichton, oops), this box office bomb swings hard. Is it a sword-slaying epic or a berserker bust? We hack through 90 minutes of mead-soaked madness—thh BMRmy picks the bones. Two weeks into our 1K Patreon push—join the fight!

Hosts: James Hauser, Brian Bzdawka, Curt Mummer, Joe Goratowski

Fuel the Bash: We’re at 500 patrons—hit 1K by May 19 for a Surf Ninjas roast and Wisconsin Baywatch shoot! $5 gets uncut eps, Discord, and rants at patreon.com/badmoviesrule.

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