The A to Z of Sex

Hi everyone! Welcome to the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host. We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time. Today’s letter M and M is for Mrs Robinson. Mrs Robinson was the older woman in the film the Graduate who seduced the younger man. She was the consummate cougar. Today my guest Suzanna Mathews -- also known as The Date Maven -- has written a new book: Revising Mrs. Robinson. It is an exploration of social and personal responses to romantic relationships between older women and younger men. Revising Mrs. Robinson uses the critical lenses of ageism and sexism to examine this phenomenon and applies social science research and the stories of women interviewed across the country. The book provides perspective, insight, and guidance for women who are trying to manage the unique challenges presented in a “cougar-cub” relationship.

Cross-generational relationships aren’t just a “Hollywood topic” or in the exclusive territory of the likes of Jennifer Lopez or Kris Jenner and their younger male partners or reference points for TV shows like "Younger" and "Girlfriend's Guide To Divorce" or pop songs like "MILF$" by Fergie. They are a growing phenomenon in society. Older men have courted younger women for centuries with little stigma or self-doubt, but this isn't always the case when a middle-aged woman is involved with a younger man.

With 2017 being the 50th anniversary year of the Mike Nichols' film, "The Graduate" -- which introduced us to the original cougar, Mrs. Robinson -- the time is right to open up the conversation on this unique dating & relationship phenomenon.

Suzanna is a self-confessed “Love Junkie” and an expert in first impression management and gender communication, specializing in soulful-spiritual relationships, intergenerational dating, and high net worth relationships. She is also a keynote speaker, wedding officiant, and image consultant.

Suzanna believes that “love favors the brave” and is dedicated to helping people amplify their vibration in order to better attract, give, and receive love. She works one-on-one and in small group settings using a blend of marketing & branding strategies and tools for personal growth and self-improvement.

We spoke of the various things that have made Cougar/cub relationships more acceptable recently, millienial’s ease with sexual fluidity, and the older woman’s confidence. Many couples do find themselves dealing with negative responses from those around them and often the women have their own internal battle to manage. They can sometimes find themselves over focusing on perceived physical signs of aging, worrying about what others will think of them and wondering why these men find them attractive.

On the positive side, these relationships are often sexually extremely exciting and satisfying. Women find a return to a freer sexual expression and are better able to ask for what they want. The men enjoy their partner’s strength and some are happy to be ‘kept’ by their older and more successful partners. Suzanne said that for many this relationship was a ‘palette cleanser’ – a short-ish relationship that happened after the woman ended a long term relationship. She said that for others, what started as short term effortlessly turned into long term.

Thanks for joining me this week for the A to Z of Sex Write in with your questions to [email protected] and visit both websites www.atozofsex.com and www.the-intimacy-coach.com to learn about alternative sexual choices, types of sexual relationships and to learn to sizzle and create that ideal lasting intimate relationship. For a free 30 minute session with me, head over to www.atozofsex.com and click on the button that says ‘book now’.

Hi everyone!  Welcome to the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host.  We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time.  Today’s letter M and M is for Mrs Robinson. Mrs Robinson was the older woman in the film the Graduate who seduced the younger man. She was the consummate cougar. Today my guest Suzanna Mathews -- also known as The Date Maven -- has written a new book: Revising Mrs. Robinson. It is an exploration of social and personal responses to romantic relationships between older women and younger men. Revising Mrs. Robinson uses the critical lenses of ageism and sexism to examine this phenomenon and applies social science research and the stories of women interviewed across the country. The book provides perspective, insight, and guidance for women who are trying to manage the unique challenges presented in a “cougar-cub” relationship.

Cross-generational relationships aren’t just a “Hollywood topic” or in the exclusive territory of the likes of Jennifer Lopez or Kris Jenner and their younger male partners or reference points for TV shows like "Younger" and "Girlfriend's Guide To Divorce" or pop songs like "MILF$" by Fergie. They are a growing phenomenon in society. Older men have courted younger women for centuries with little stigma or self-doubt, but this isn't always the case when a middle-aged woman is involved with a younger man.

With 2017 being the 50th anniversary year of the Mike Nichols' film, "The Graduate" -- which introduced us to the original cougar, Mrs. Robinson -- the time is right to open up the conversation on this unique dating & relationship phenomenon. 

Suzanna is a self-confessed “Love Junkie” and an expert in first impression management and gender communication, specializing in soulful-spiritual relationships, intergenerational dating, and high net worth relationships. She is also a keynote speaker, wedding officiant, and image consultant.

Suzanna believes that “love favors the brave” and is dedicated to helping people amplify their vibration in order to better attract, give, and receive love. She works one-on-one and in small group settings using a blend of marketing & branding strategies and tools for personal growth and self-improvement. 

We spoke of the various things that have made Cougar/cub relationships more acceptable recently, millienial’s ease with sexual fluidity, and the older woman’s confidence.  Many couples do find themselves dealing with negative responses from those around them and often the women have their own internal battle to manage.  They can sometimes find themselves over focusing on perceived physical signs of aging, worrying about what others will think of them and wondering why these men find them attractive.

On the positive side, these relationships are often sexually extremely exciting and satisfying.  Women find a return to a freer sexual expression and are better able to ask for what they want.  The men enjoy their partner’s strength and some are happy to be ‘kept’ by their older and more successful partners.  Suzanne said that for many this relationship was a ‘palette cleanser’ – a short-ish relationship that happened after the woman ended a long term relationship.  She said that for others, what started as short term effortlessly turned into long term.

Thanks for joining me this week for the A to Z of Sex  Write in with your questions to [email protected] and visit both websites www.atozofsex.com and www.the-intimacy-coach.com to learn about alternative sexual choices, types of sexual relationships and to learn to sizzle and create that ideal lasting intimate relationship.   For a free 30 minute session with me, head over to www.atozofsex.com and click on the button that says ‘book now’.

Hi everyone! Welcome to the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host. We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time. Just a reminder this podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones. Today the letter is L and L is for Libido, in this case particularly loss of libido in women. There is quite a bit of talk of the changes men go through as they get older, including erectile dysfunction and even some discussion about loss of libido. But we rarely talk openly about the loss of libido that can accompany peri-menopause and menopause and how devastating women kind find this change. Libido in this context refers to someone’s sex drive, that is their desire to have sexual encounters (solo or with others). There are many events during the course of a lifetime that can impact libido and libido certainly ebbs and flows as a result of hormonal changes. For some women, these changes take them entirely by surprise and just at a time when they no longer have to worry about using birth control, a time when they hope to be freer and more spontaneous in relation to their sexual encounters, they can find themselves surprisingly and sometimes suddenly entirely uninterested in sex of any kind.

When midlife mayhem descends it’s not uncommon to wake up in the morning feeling like you have been possessed by an alien. Life as you knew may seem to be a dim and distant memory. Your hormones are in the driving seat and you are left clinging on by your finger nails. Gone are the days when you roll over in the mornings hoping your partner is in the mood for some fun. Instead of snuggling up for comfort and love you are only too pleased to be in your own space busy throwing off the covers as the heat over takes you. When you cool down, hoping you will stay cool long enough to engage in passion, you may be fearful that intercourse will be a nightmare leaving you feeling sore instead of satisfied. If this sounds familiar then you will be pleased to hear from Maryon Stewart as she has been helping women to rekindle their libido naturally for over 25 years. Maryon Stewart is well known in both the UK and Australia as a pioneer in the field of non drug medicine. In 1984 she set up the women’s nutritional advisory Service, which has helped tens of thousands of women all around the world to improve their health and wellbeing. In 2010, following the death of her 21 year old daughter Hester, Maryon founded the Angelus Foundation, the only charity currently dedicated to raising awareness about the dangers of legal highs and club drugs. She has written 26 popular self-help books, co-authored a series of medical papers, written regular columns for numerous daily newspapers and magazines, had her own radio show, written scripts for, and produced many films, as well as contributed to a variety TV series, including being the Nutritionist for Channel Four’s Model Behaviour and now she presents The Really Useful Health Show.

Maryon spoke about the symptoms of perimenopause and menopause and talked at length about how many things can be resolved through the use of natural medicine. We spoke about how hard it is to make sure you have good information as the internet has so much that it can be overwhelming and most GP’s are not well versed in the alternatives to hormone replacement therapy. Maryon spoke about the importance of community support as people often feel that they are the only one going through this and she has started a closed Facebook group called Midlife SWITCH for women going through perimenopause and menopause. She reports that since the start lots of women have written in about how comforting it is to know others are there who understand what they are going through.

You can find Maryon Stewart on www.maryonstewart.com and Midlife Switch on Facebook. Her books are widely available.

Thanks for joining me this week for the A to Z of Sex Write in

Hi everyone!  Welcome to the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host.  We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time.  Just a reminder this podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones. Today the letter is L and L is for Libido, in this case particularly loss of libido in women. There is quite a bit of talk of the changes men go through as they get older, including erectile dysfunction and even some discussion about loss of libido. But we rarely talk openly about the loss of libido that can accompany peri-menopause and menopause and how devastating women kind find this change.  Libido in this context refers to someone’s sex drive, that is their desire to have sexual encounters (solo or with others). There are many events during the course of a lifetime that can impact libido and libido certainly ebbs and flows as a result of hormonal changes. For some women, these changes take them entirely by surprise and just at a time when they no longer have to worry about using birth control, a time when they hope to be freer and more spontaneous in relation to their sexual encounters, they can find themselves surprisingly and sometimes suddenly entirely uninterested in sex of any kind. 

When midlife mayhem descends it’s not uncommon to wake up in the morning feeling like you have been possessed by an alien. Life as you knew may seem to be a dim and distant memory. Your hormones are in the driving seat and you are left clinging on by your finger nails. Gone are the days when you roll over in the mornings hoping your partner is in the mood for some fun. Instead of snuggling up for comfort and love you are only too pleased to be in your own space busy throwing off the covers as the heat over takes you. When you cool down, hoping you will stay cool long enough to engage in passion, you may be fearful that intercourse will be a nightmare leaving you feeling sore instead of satisfied. If this sounds familiar then you will be pleased to hear from Maryon Stewart as she has been helping women to rekindle their libido naturally for over 25 years. Maryon Stewart is well known in both the UK and Australia as a pioneer in the field of non drug medicine. In 1984 she set up the women’s nutritional advisory Service, which has helped tens of thousands of women all around the world to improve their health and wellbeing. In 2010, following the death of her 21 year old daughter Hester, Maryon founded the Angelus Foundation, the only charity currently dedicated to raising awareness about the dangers of legal highs and club drugs. She has written 26 popular self-help books, co-authored a series of medical papers, written regular columns for numerous daily newspapers and magazines, had her own radio show, written scripts for, and produced many films, as well as contributed to a variety TV series, including being the Nutritionist for Channel Four’s Model Behaviour and now she presents The Really Useful Health Show.

Maryon spoke about the symptoms of perimenopause and menopause and talked at length about how many things can be resolved through the use of natural medicine. We spoke about how hard it is to make sure you have good information as the internet has so much that it can be overwhelming and most GP’s are not well versed in the alternatives to hormone replacement therapy.  Maryon spoke about the importance of community support as people often feel that they are the only one going through this and she has started a closed Facebook group called Midlife SWITCH for women going through perimenopause and menopause. She reports that since the start lots of women have written in about how comforting it is to know others are there who understand what they are going through.

You can find Maryon Stewart on www.maryonstewart.com and Midlife Switch on Facebook.  Her books are widely available.

Thanks for joining me this week for the A to Z of Sex  Write in with your questions to [email protected] and visit both websites www.atozofsex.com and www.the-intimacy-coach.com to learn about alternative sexual choices, types of sexual relationships and to learn to sizzle and create that ideal lasting intimate relationship.  For a free 30 minute session with me, head over to www.atozofsex.com and click on the button that says ‘book now’.  Please join me next week when the letter will be M for Mrs Robinson (Cougar/Cub relationships).

 

 

 

Hi everyone!  Welcome to the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host.  We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time.  Today’s letter is K and K is for Kinky. Kinky (when it refers to sex) is defined as involving or given to unusual sexual behaviour. Kinky behaviour has traditionally been underground but in recent years, has entered the mainstream public domain. Today I am joined by Ms Max Rulz. She has been teaching people about sexuality and kink for the past 25 years. She has participated and supported and educated folk through the national leather community. She served on the board of the Leather Library and had her own kink radio show called the Leather Hour in Houston and Galveston.

We talk about the most common kinks that Ms Max has observed over the years and she says the number one is cross dressing. The second is flogging or the desire for some type of correction.

Ms Max highlights that the most important skill is communication and that lots of discussion and negotiation goes on between people who decide to engage in a kinky sexual scene. She compares this to the way people who are not kinky communicate about sex and we discuss the problems in this arena and the concerns we have for the younger generation who are not learning to talk about sex from their parents but rather from their peers. 

Ms Max highlights that honesty and authenticity are the other two most important components and that this is an area where there is also a lack in modern day relationships.

John wrote in and asked how he could raise the subject of his desire for cross dressing with his wife. He has been a cross dresser for 15 years but has never told her. Ms Max suggests that he can approach the subject gingerly by bringing up things in conversation – like the fact that he enjoys the feeling of her gown when she is lying next to him. And then maybe asking if she would like to feel how that feels.  She is clear that he needs to be prepared for rejection because he did not bring his authentic self to the table initially but that he shouldn’t give up after only one try. She may have her own kinks that she would like to explore.  She also suggests that he try one of the many games that encourage couples to take turns doing sexual things. This way they can explore together. 

To contact Ms Max you can email [email protected].

Thanks for joining me this week for the A to Z of Sex  Write in with your questions to [email protected] and visit both websites www.atozofsex.com and www.the-intimacy-coach.com to learn about alternative sexual choices, types of sexual relationships and to learn to sizzle and create that ideal lasting intimate relationship.   For a free 30 minute session with me, head over to www.atozofsex.com and click on the button that says ‘book now’.

Hi everyone!  Welcome to the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host.  We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time.  Today’s letter is K and K is for Kinky. Kinky (when it refers to sex) is defined as involving or given to unusual sexual behaviour. Kinky behaviour has traditionally been underground but in recent years, has entered the mainstream public domain. Today I am joined by Ms Max Rulz. She has been teaching people about sexuality and kink for the past 25 years. She has participated and supported and educated folk through the national leather community. She served on the board of the Leather Library and had her own kink radio show called the Leather Hour in Houston and Galveston.

We talk about the most common kinks that Ms Max has observed over the years and she says the number one is cross dressing. The second is flogging or the desire for some type of correction.

Ms Max highlights that the most important skill is communication and that lots of discussion and negotiation goes on between people who decide to engage in a kinky sexual scene. She compares this to the way people who are not kinky communicate about sex and we discuss the problems in this arena and the concerns we have for the younger generation who are not learning to talk about sex from their parents but rather from their peers. 

Ms Max highlights that honesty and authenticity are the other two most important components and that this is an area where there is also a lack in modern day relationships.

John wrote in and asked how he could raise the subject of his desire for cross dressing with his wife. He has been a cross dresser for 15 years but has never told her. Ms Max suggests that he can approach the subject gingerly by bringing up things in conversation – like the fact that he enjoys the feeling of her gown when she is lying next to him. And then maybe asking if she would like to feel how that feels.  She is clear that he needs to be prepared for rejection because he did not bring his authentic self to the table initially but that he shouldn’t give up after only one try. She may have her own kinks that she would like to explore.  She also suggests that he try one of the many games that encourage couples to take turns doing sexual things. This way they can explore together. 

To contact Ms Max you can email [email protected].

Thanks for joining me this week for the A to Z of Sex  Write in with your questions to [email protected] and visit both websites www.atozofsex.com and www.the-intimacy-coach.com to learn about alternative sexual choices, types of sexual relationships and to learn to sizzle and create that ideal lasting intimate relationship.   For a free 30 minute session with me, head over to www.atozofsex.com and click on the button that says ‘book now’.

 

Hi everyone! Welcome to the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host. We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time.  Today’s letter is J and J is for Judging (Slut Shaming). It seems that all of our sexual behaviour and sexual presentation is judged by everyone around us.  Girls learn early on that being hot is important but that there is a fine line between being seen as hot and being seen as a slut. Despite events like slut walk which attempt to empower women through taking back the term, research highlights that women still cringe when they hear the term slut and still use it to describe their more sexually loose sisters. Today I am joined by Arianna Jeret.  As a senior editor for Yourtango.com she focuses on divorce, relationships and healthy sexuality. She is passionate about connecting with readers, writers, experts and anyone with an interest in real, raw conversations about love, sex and life.

We talked about judging women for whatever they do sexually and the fact that enjoying sex is a reason to be called a slut. We spoke about the problems men and women have dealing with talking about sex and how much shaming is done across the board.  We spoke of the changes (or lack thereof) since the 50’s and 60’s in how women are viewed when they are being sexual. We spoke about how women and girls still don’t learn about their own desire and often don’t know what their vaginas and clitori look like and don’t realise that each person is different.We ended with the hope that this will change through education. 

Thanks for joining me this week for the A to Z of Sex  Write in with your questions to [email protected] and visit both websites www.atozofsex.com and www.the-intimacy-coach.com to learn about alternative sexual choices, types of sexual relationships and to learn to sizzle and create that ideal lasting intimate relationship.   For a free 30 minute session with me, head over to www.atozofsex.com and click on the button that says ‘book now’.

Hi everyone! Welcome to the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host. We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time.  Today’s letter is J and J is for Judging (Slut Shaming). It seems that all of our sexual behaviour and sexual presentation is judged by everyone around us.  Girls learn early on that being hot is important but that there is a fine line between being seen as hot and being seen as a slut. Despite events like slut walk which attempt to empower women through taking back the term, research highlights that women still cringe when they hear the term slut and still use it to describe their more sexually loose sisters. Today I am joined by Arianna Jeret.  As a senior editor for Yourtango.com she focuses on divorce, relationships and healthy sexuality. She is passionate about connecting with readers, writers, experts and anyone with an interest in real, raw conversations about love, sex and life.

We talked about judging women for whatever they do sexually and the fact that enjoying sex is a reason to be called a slut. We spoke about the problems men and women have dealing with talking about sex and how much shaming is done across the board.  We spoke of the changes (or lack thereof) since the 50’s and 60’s in how women are viewed when they are being sexual. We spoke about how women and girls still don’t learn about their own desire and often don’t know what their vaginas and clitori look like and don’t realise that each person is different.We ended with the hope that this will change through education. 

Thanks for joining me this week for the A to Z of Sex  Write in with your questions to [email protected] and visit both websites www.atozofsex.com and www.the-intimacy-coach.com to learn about alternative sexual choices, types of sexual relationships and to learn to sizzle and create that ideal lasting intimate relationship.   For a free 30 minute session with me, head over to www.atozofsex.com and click on the button that says ‘book now’.

 

Hi everyone! Welcome to the A to Z of Sex.  I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host.  We are working our way through the sexual alphabet one letter at a time.  Today’s letter is I and I is for Intercourse.  When talking about sex, intercourse is a word we use for fucking.  Intercourse is also used to refer to communication and that is how we will address it here.  

Want to know fun--and arousing ways to communicate your sexual needs?  Perhaps you want to enliven your "sex-as-usual" with your partner.  Or, maybe you are not sure when or if to have sex with a new partner--or agree to do certain sexual things. No worry.  Today's guest Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, has great advice that is tested and tried with thousands of couples she's counseled.

Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, Ed.D. is an award-winning, nationally recognized author and  licensed clinical psychotherapist, specializing in helping you get smart, brave and intuitive in your love, life and work.  Dr. Wish is the author of her book "Smart Relationships," which is based on five years of research with thousands of couples.  The National Association of Social Workers has placed her on their list of the Top Fifty Who Have Contributed to the Profession.  She is also the subject of biographical entry in many of the Marquis Who's Who Publications for her pioneering work with women.  Dr. Wish served for many years as the Clinical Director of the nationally respected Institute of Family Relations, in the Boston area in Massachusetts.  The Institute was known as one of the first places to receive licensed, professional counseling for sexual issues.

In this episode we spoke about how important communication is and how to make sexual talk easier by making it fun.  Dr Wish talks about having the sex conversation in a restaurant adding an extra layer of excitement or titillation because people around you have no idea what you are talking about.  Dr Wish talked about the first two years or so of a relationship you are in arousal mode and so sex drive is high.  Once you settle into the relationship, that will die down.  It has to we can’t stay in that state forever.  To re-invigorate your sex life, you need to bring surprise back.  Things cannot continue to be predictable.  We talked about ways to breathe new life into the sex life that are easy to try and fun to try.  We highlight laughter as being something that brings couples closer.   

Thanks for joining me this week for the A to Z of Sex  Write in with your questions to [email protected] and visit both websites www.atozofsex.com and www.the-intimacy-coach.com to learn about alternative sexual choices, types of sexual relationships and to learn to sizzle and create that ideal lasting intimate relationship.   For a free 30 minute session with me, head over to www.atozofsex.com and click on the button that says ‘book now’.

Hi everyone! Welcome to the A to Z of Sex.  I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host.  We are working our way through the sexual alphabet one letter at a time.  Today’s letter is I and I is for Intercourse.  When talking about sex, intercourse is a word we use for fucking.  Intercourse is also used to refer to communication and that is how we will address it here.  

Want to know fun--and arousing ways to communicate your sexual needs?  Perhaps you want to enliven your "sex-as-usual" with your partner.  Or, maybe you are not sure when or if to have sex with a new partner--or agree to do certain sexual things. No worry.  Today's guest Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, has great advice that is tested and tried with thousands of couples she's counseled.

Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, Ed.D. is an award-winning, nationally recognized author and  licensed clinical psychotherapist, specializing in helping you get smart, brave and intuitive in your love, life and work.  Dr. Wish is the author of her book "Smart Relationships," which is based on five years of research with thousands of couples.  The National Association of Social Workers has placed her on their list of the Top Fifty Who Have Contributed to the Profession.  She is also the subject of biographical entry in many of the Marquis Who's Who Publications for her pioneering work with women.  Dr. Wish served for many years as the Clinical Director of the nationally respected Institute of Family Relations, in the Boston area in Massachusetts.  The Institute was known as one of the first places to receive licensed, professional counseling for sexual issues.

In this episode we spoke about how important communication is and how to make sexual talk easier by making it fun.  Dr Wish talks about having the sex conversation in a restaurant adding an extra layer of excitement or titillation because people around you have no idea what you are talking about.  Dr Wish talked about the first two years or so of a relationship you are in arousal mode and so sex drive is high.  Once you settle into the relationship, that will die down.  It has to we can’t stay in that state forever.  To re-invigorate your sex life, you need to bring surprise back.  Things cannot continue to be predictable.  We talked about ways to breathe new life into the sex life that are easy to try and fun to try.  We highlight laughter as being something that brings couples closer.   

Thanks for joining me this week for the A to Z of Sex  Write in with your questions to [email protected] and visit both websites www.atozofsex.com and www.the-intimacy-coach.com to learn about alternative sexual choices, types of sexual relationships and to learn to sizzle and create that ideal lasting intimate relationship.   For a free 30 minute session with me, head over to www.atozofsex.com and click on the button that says ‘book now’.