If someone does something nice for you that’s unexpected, does that make you feel uncomfortable? Do you believe it puts you at a disadvantage because you owe them? Receiving is much harder than giving. Many people have a hard time receiving without feeling obligated to reciprocate because giving provides a false sense of control. When you give, you may think people owe you. Even if it is not your intention, pay attention to where you have emotional strings attached. Or perhaps you feel you don’t deserve to receive without jumping through hoops first. In truth, receiving is an act of self-love.

Look at why receiving is uncomfortable. Does it come from a lack of value? Perceived lack of power? It’s important to identify what’s at the core, then feel it. It’s not about power and it’s not about control. It’s about opening yourself up and believing you deserve, while also trusting that life is on your side, supporting you. Keeping score never makes you happy, and the inability to receive stems from a lack of trust. To receive with your whole heart, you need to trust life and believe you deserve, which is a vulnerable place to be. If deep down you feel unworthy, receiving can be difficult. Ask yourself what you’re afraid of losing. Or what are you afraid you don’t have. Allowing yourself to receive is a vulnerable position to be in, but it’s the only position that will lead to a true partnership—not one based on power and keeping score. Receiving is not a zero-sum game