The Ascertainers

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Hey, we made it to 60--and still aren't very good.  What does say about you for listening?

• Newt's is HOPPING
• New car to Mark
• Size concerns
• Movie Reviews:  Clerks and Blade Runner 2049
• Radio Game
• Bee  Gees Documentary
• Eff Jimmy Fallon
• Timberwolves--can they do it?
• Sprewell's financial prowess
• Kentucky Derby update
• Errors & Omissions
• 2024 golf preview
• Musicians that golf
• The Alice Cooper story
• There is a new "bless your heart/child please"

[email protected]

#Newts
#Spree

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We take a slight left turn from almost being a music podcast to talk about the thing everyone in our demographic can relate to in some way--Wide World of Sports.

• Reunted and it feels so good
• International listeners
• Wedding recap--guy style
• Jim's cool friends
• New Newt's Featured Item--we're not mad....just disappointed
• Beyond burger shoutout
• Radio Game
• RIP Dickey Betts
• Happy belated Charlie!
• 80 Foot Wave
• Wide World of Sports
• Claudine Longet Ski Invitational
• Evil Knievel
• Harlem Gloetrotters
• Flabby weight lifters
• F-1 racing
• How to not bet the Derby (or IS it?)
• Apologies to Liv Tyler

For those about to rock:  [email protected]
Also, there's a new "Send us a Text Message" feature above.  Try it out!

#Newts
#AscertainerBurgerWillHaveToWait
#TheVaqueros
#Pescatarianism

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May was rough on us schedule-wise.  We'll record a fresh episode on the night this one is released.  In other words, this episode was recorded a while back and has been aging in the barrel.  Careful--we don't know how strong it is.

• No matter how you spell it...
• Earth's gonna earth
• The European Model
• Iman and other one-named celebrities
• Joey Browner--we (Jim) promise not to swear
• Jim's first F-bomb in front of his Mom
• Mark is the Cliff Clavin of Newt's
• Egg MarkMuffin
• Aaaand we're back to the Newt's promo
• Mark's sitting on a revolutionary new idea
• Radio Game
• Music Documentaries
• Speaking of STD's
• Ramones 101

Tell us what you think:  [email protected]
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#Newt's
#Cheers
#EggMarkMuffin

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Due to scheduling conflicts with Mark and Jim's super busy social calendars (or something like that), we went to the episode pantry and pulled this one off the shelf.  It was this, or canned peaches.  

• Hey German listener...
• The Subaru of sandals
• Jim's milestone birthday
• Old guy stuff
• Uncle Milty's is bigger
• Newt's--The We'll See Burger
• Our cool new stage prop
• Bedtimes and bunkbeds
• Radio Game--with assist from Sarah
• Joey Browner and various Vikings talk
• Newt's promo--better late than never

We'd love to hear from you (especially any unnamed/unknown German listeners).  Please email us at [email protected]

#doit
#AscertainersBurger
#Whitesnake

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Ran into super listener Pat K at Newt's (nobody was hurt) and recruited him to come on a future episode.  He claims to have listened to every Ascertainers episode.  Be like Pat.

• The Rain the Park and Other Things
• South Park Randy Shoutout
• CSI: Jim's Basement
• Vikings Middle Linebacker or Porn Star?
• Still no Ascertainers Burger at Newt's (but ask for it anyway)
• Can't spell thrust without trust
• RIP Count Floyd
• Two-man dead pool
• Errors and Omissions
• The Outsiders
• Think Drink Disney gives a shoutout
• Spinal Tap cast
• Radio Game
• Sibling Bands
• Captain and Tennille bombshell
• Hey Aquaduct!
• David Lee Roth Cliffhanger

To claim your lottery winnings:  The [email protected]

#Newts
#Cowsills
#ThinkDrinkDisney

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For all you Viking's fans, this is also known as the Scott Studwell episode.  Not because we talk about him or anything--but he did wear #55.  I bet he also knows Joey Browner.
In this episode, we finish up on 1976 by talking some music, TV shows and other useless banter.  

• Well, my broker is EF Hutton
• Newt's--yum--you should go there
• Saving best stuff for Mark (phrasing)
• There's no Joe Rogan Burger either!
• The McDonald's mafia
• Radio Game
• Mark's bizarre headphones accident
• 1976
• Sitcoms (bumper crop of them)
• Queen/Bohemian Rhapsody was a redneck's worst nightmare
• Boston, Neil Diamond, Hall and the other guy, Wings, Glen Campbell, Peter Frampton, Beatles (yes in 1976), Bay City Rollers, The Miracles, CW McCall, Kiss
• Jr High school dance challenges

If you'd like to be connected to an Operator: [email protected]

#Newts
#Robot
#HallandWhatshisname
#Corduroys

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We're still trying to get our groove back (as if we ever had one).  Jim's wife, Kris makes her Ascertainers debut.

• What would you say you do here?
• Gramma's Boy
• Introducing Mrs Jim
• Mancini's shoutout
• Girl drinks
• Fancy Ray sighting
• Newt's:  Featuring the All-New Ascertainers Burger
• Errors & omissions
• Radio Game
• 1976 songs, pop culture, etc
• Hair calendar
• Your vintage currency leader
• Silver Streak
• Happy Days
• The poster/cell phone analogy the world needs to hear
• SCTV
• The long MN goodbye

To reserve the party room: The [email protected]

#Newt's
#Mancini's
#CliffRichard
#BrandyAlexander

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The sophomore slump hit your boys hard.  We enter year two of this adventure by failing on our first two attempts at getting anything worth sharing with you, our loyal listeners--both of you.  What we ended up with should be an indicator of how very bad the first two were...

• Listener shout outs
• Prospective guests
• Newt's and how Mark pissed off our ONLY sponsor
• The Ascertainer Burger--ask for it by name
• MN transplants, Ken and Renee
• Fabrication
• Radio Game
• MTV nostalgia
• Dangerous childhood activities
• Remo Drive shoutout
• Happy Anniversary!

Complaints:  [email protected]

#Newts
#KickHisAssSeabass
#HoldYou

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That couple is Mark and Jim.  During the recording with the Think Drink Disney fellas, Jim dissed Mark even more than normal.  Thanks to Mark being a podcasting pro and great editor, you probably didn't even know about it, but in this episode, you'll hear how we worked things out.  Extra Kleenex for this one.....

• Another new friend at Newt's
• Jim and Cory are both Rockets!
• The Ascertainer Burger?
• The faux pas
• Dickslaughter
• Think Drink Disney Redux
• Instagram comments gone wrong
• That clapper thing in the movies
• One year anniversary
• Jim's celebrity laugh
• Radio Game
• Mark's fun facts about curling!
• MN nice is overrated

#Newts
#AscertainerBurger
#Sorry

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One episode was not enough for legends Matt G and Lance from the Think Drink Disney podcast.  This time around is a bit less frenetic (look it up Ascertainers followers....  The TDD people probably knew that one already).  If you could use a laugh, give this one a listen.

• Reintroducing Think Drink Disney (TDD)
• What's with all the Kleenex?
• Micro Obliterator
• Callouses
• Never pass up a chance to Chuck spin
• Our endless pursuit of Mr Joey Browner
• The Pink Floyd/Rush theory blown up
• DinnerSupperMotherMomAntAunt
• Matt's joke kills
• Radio Game
• Newt's promo: TDD-style
• Ace and Gary hit the town
• X-Golf shoutout
• Bricksworth Brewing Burnsville shoutout
• A TDD primer
• The Nightmare Before Christmas
• The opposite of David Lee Roth
• GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!

For full recipe: [email protected]

#Newts
#ThinkDrinkDisney
#CrunchyCarpet