The Ascertainers

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This is technically our 40th episode (our Special Holiday Episode was not numbered).  Jim had to be up early the next morning, so we only recorded one episode.  However, we still hit our normal hydration quota, so I don't think we gained much.  Also, we decided to try without a topic.  

• Sorry Ma--Forgot to Plug in Your Headphones
• Radio Game
• Shoutout FeeGeeBand
• The Pink Floyd / Rush fan paradox
• Pat talk, including Pat Morita
• Gary Gulman shoutout
• Love IS a Battlefield
• No Anchovies
• Errors & Omissions
• Topic Ideas
• Christmas Cards
• Basic check writing tips
• Apologies to Chrispher Reeves
• The Ball Drop

#ForgotTheNewt'sPromo
#GoThereAnyway
#SeriouslyPLEASEGoThere

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It's the most wonderful time of the year--and I don't mean Honda Days.  It's Christmas and we are here to wish you and yours a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Freaky Festivus--whatever you celebrate.  Hope you get what you wanted.

• Will Santa get us a new mixing board?
• We tease an upcoming special episode release
• Mark's a Christmas guy--who knew?
• Pajama party highlights
• Robe talk volume 4(?)
• Listener Pat provides valuable feedback (and then gets savaged)
• Shout out former guest Charlie
• We've exceeded 1300 downloads to date
• Radio game with ironic winner
• Joe Superior
• Newt's Promo
• Reach out and touch someone
• Jim's sappy holiday message

#BrownChristmas
#Newts
#SorryPat

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To help you better understand why Jim is the way he is, we invited his Mom, Ellie, to join us for a special episode.  As you will see, she held her own and in spite of a technical blunder--she told us she couldn't hear anything through the headphones, and only after it was over did Mark discover her headphones weren't plugged in.  It's a fun episode and one that is very G-Rated.

• Fertile Myrtle and Mr Seeds (really--it's a clean one)
• Roundabouts
• Young Jim stories
• Grammar Police
• College life / The Charleston
• Cell phone/Facebook
• Worry Wart
• How do you was a washcloth?
• Under indulging
• Frogs
• The Land
• Beer Cans

#ThanksMom
#CallYourMom

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Big treat for everyone as we are joined by neighbor and broadcast professional, Roy!  We laughed, we learned and we give Roy the business pretty good/well.

• Fun Hibbing MN facts
• Roy runs, Marks runs and Jim ran
• Newt's promo--mostly uninterrupted but a bit dull as a result
• Shout out Roy's baseball buddies Brad and Charlie
• Radio Game
• The Outfield controversy--who was right?  Jim was a bit harsh to Roy--apologies
• Listener challenge--prize pending
• Jim went to NYC and met the parents
• 80's bands
• Billy Squier rant remix
• David Lee Roth scuttlebutt
• Where were you when....
• Cliffhanger ending

To enter the contest and give other feedback:  [email protected]

#Newt's
#VisitHibbing
#CoachBrad

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This is a second recording of the night, and we attempt to not make any date/season references so we can potentially release it at a later date.  Spoiler alert--we are bad at this.  Jim's brother Jeff joins us again.  For fans of Mark pushing Jim's buttons.

• Shoutout to the creators of our theme music
• Newt's promo--can I get that with a side of provocation?
• Jeff gets interrupted early and often (for no good reason either--apologies!)
• Yet another Johnny Depp movie reference
• Radio Game
• Hall & Oates restraining order
• Game Shows
• Lutefisk
• Garage Logic
• 21 in Dog Years

Thanks for listening!

Feedback: [email protected]
#Newts
#GarageLogic
#HaveaGreatDay

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As some already know--don't read too much into the title.  We didn't really have a topic going into this one, so if you like the Ascertainers for our ability to rapidly shift from topic to topic with limited redeeming value on any of them--you're going to like this one.  If not, maybe sit this one out.  Now you want to listen on curiosity alone.  Is this milk bad?  Gimme that!

• Jim's brother, Jeff joins us again--he gets cut off quite a bit
• Dryer turkey reference
• Rice/Chow Mein
• Mark's movie review: Napoleon
• Roundabouts
• Radio Game
• Errors & Omissions
• Marcus Welby, MD
• Newt's Promo--Mark does not make it easy
• Jim finally interrupts himself
• Future sponsor--Adderall
• Wong's Shrimp Balls
• St Anthony MN rice > Japanese rice
• Green bean debate
• Mini Golf shenanigans
• Spam facts

Feedback and international booking:  [email protected]

#Newts
#WhiteTrashChocolate
#BurpFetish

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A little nostalgia. 

• Mark's red shirt
• Episode confusion
• Newspaper article
• Have you guys heard of Newt's?
• Table vs Booth
• Casual Pescatarianism
• Errors and Omissions
• Killed a guy
• International waters
• Radio Game
• Air Force self-deprication
• Newt's has coupons
• Bath Robe
• TV theme songs
• Aaaand it's over

#Newts
#whatareyouhiding

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If you're tuning in just for the Friday Night stuff (our original topic), go ahead and fast forward to about 10 minutes left.  We still can't budget our time....  Attempts were also made to do a "tight" intro and Newt's promo.  We were not successful there either.  But hey--you're already here, so give this a listen!

• Shout out to aspiring podcasters
• Mark's relationship with onions--it's complicated
• Shout out OG Todd
• Reciprocation
• Radio Game
• Errors and omissions
• How to know if you have a really good friend
• Mar's Hawaiian nuts
• Rabbits
• My neighbor's cans
• Wrestlers
• Average Friday night as a kid
• Unique units of measure
• Jim pedals off his 3.2 beer buzz

Feedback:  [email protected]

#Newts

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If you can hear this episode, then we haven't been sued yet (check out Ep 31:  Jim's Invention).  

• Jim's Bachelor week
• That one Johnny Depp movie
• Radio Game
• Dave Mustaine update
• Fascinating grammar finds
• Please stop emailing us!
• Mark's candy fantasy
• Weather report
• Debut Albums
• Mark sings / T Rex
• Errors and Omissions
• Newt's!
• Scarface
• The Californians

Thank you for listening!  If you're on Facebook or Instagram or X, throw us a like or follow if it's no trouble.  

Booking Info: [email protected]

#YesHeSaidBookingInfo
#NobodyWillBuyIt
#ButWhatIf
#NoSeriouslyWhatIf
#Newts

 

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Buckle up kids.  This episode could be considered pretty relaxed by Ascertainer's standards, but there are two bona fide big laughs.  I hope we don't need a legal defense fund after this one.

• How we got our name
• Thanks to last guests, Chantz and Alex
• Deadlocked at the golf course
• Errors and Omissions
• Last Supper correction
• Radio Game
• Newt's promo (also--have you been to Newt's yet?)
• Pulltab beatdown
• No eating on the air
• Light Sabre/Star Wars/Hans Solo
• INXS--Jim's invention
• Underrated bands remix
• Dead Leg
• Shout out Jack Swagger

#Newts
#carefuloutthere