The Ascertainers

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What in the world??  20 episodes already?  When we began this folly, I'm not sure either of us thought we'd make it to 20!  You'd think we'd be so much better with that much practice...  Because this episode was recorded after 2 previously recorded episodes were aired, there was a lot of time needed for Mark to correct/analyze/deflect, etc from those 2 episodes.  We eventually get into music and wrestling.  Totally worth the wait.

• Jim keeps saying this one's the charm
• New special at Newt's
• Pickles
• The Saints snub
• So-so night at the track
• Audie K's big birthday bash
• Fascinating MN Saints trivia
• More pimping other podcasts
• Extended errors and omissions
  • Jigsaw
  • Snagglepuss
  • Humble Pie
  • Jim's "unbelievable" memory
  • Curling/Smartless
  • Weather personalities
  • The T-shirt promo 
• Favorite wrestlers/Mean Gene
• New Radio Game criteria
• The "root" of the problem

Remember, to win a t-shirt, send us a comment or idea or just your name and address to [email protected]   Due to overwhelming demand, supplies are very limited, so stop what you're doing and send that email!
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As you will discover early on, this is the second episode of the night and we have remained well hydrated on account of the hot weather...  Typical episode with no real intellectual value, but a few laughs are there for the taking.

• Tom Hanks, Super Roadie
• MN Weather and Weather Personalities
• Are they really a Dr?
• When to leave a party
• Uli Jon Roth
• Joe Walsh's thoughts on AI
• RIP Sinead
• Mark's new phone/ How cheap is Mark?
• Blue Swede mystery solved
• What happened to Sax players?
• Radio Game--Bonus Edition
• The Power Loon
• Late Newt's Mention
• Pescatarianism explained
• Olive Juice

Thanks for listening.  Social media should be up soon.  Go eat at Newt's and tell 'em we sent you!

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Episode 18 is a case study in ADHD.  We are all over the map--even more than usual...

• Mark's salmon shirt
• Crayons--specifically Burnt Orange
• Mark sends Jim back to Episode 1 
• Ascertainers Facebook page excuses
• Quarterback
• Shout out to You Betcha Guy
• The most obscure Radio Game to date
• Quadriceps Contusion
• Phil Collins controversy reboot
• Jim's Ram Jam rant
• Grab Bag concept teased
• Snagglepuss (didn't he have a son?)
• Cartoons as political barometer
• Mark's new "Wrap it up" signal
• National Geographic

Thanks for listening.  AFTER you listen to this episode AND go eat at Newt's Apple Valley (tell them we sent you), consider giving the You Betcha Radio podcast a listen.  Maybe they'll throw us a bone if they listen and like.  Fingers crossed!
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As the title indicates, bit of a mixed bag.  We get into music a little later, but you have to battle your way to the prize.

• Jim's Community Service
• Mark Beats Jim at Golf (a/k/a Blind squirrel finds nut)
• Errors and Omissions
• Big night at Newt's
• Mark gets snubbed by an Audie!
• Blue Swede or Blue Suede?
• Radio Game: Pablo Cruise and the Aztecs
• RIP to our rodent mascot
• Tony Bennett--Overrated?
• Engelbert Humperdinck
• Bob Dylan
• The mystique of Mark's profession
• Fred Garvin--Male Prostitute
• 'Til Tuesday

A little shorter episode--you've earned it.  Thanks for listening!

#Newt's
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As the title indicates, we had a visitor on this episode.  What's kind of interesting is that we had been in the basement and recorded one episode before we saw the vermin.  Then he became fearless and we're lucky to be alive.  

Second episode with neighbor Charlie.  Any early jitters were gone, and we flew through a ton of topics.  Here's a recap:

• Mark's Phobia's
• Super-sized Radio Game
• Charlie's got serious music/content rules
• Beastie Boys and Butthole Surfers get some love--Meat Puppets get mixed review
• Radio Game WINNER!!
• Country Music is getting worse
• Studio vs Live band evaluation
• MN Zoo Concerts
• JT, Bruno and Gaga
• Blade Runner
• Don't fly with a celebrity pilot!
• High Tech Newt's promo
• How Charlie got his name 
• Standup Comedians

Yep--we covered a lot of ground.  Hope you enjoy.  We're trying to determine if we could execute a live podcast on location at Newt's.  More to follow.   Feedback always welcome at [email protected]

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This episode brings us our third guest--Charlie from down the street.  Charlie is a former professional broadcaster and decided to slum it for a night with us.  High/lowlights include:

• Mark got beat at golf by a guy wearing jeans
• More submarine talk--definitely too soon
• The Marklaughlin group gets destroyed
• Rick Moranis gets some significant time
• Judd Apatow movies
• Dickhead Jim
• More curling talk
• Steve Miller Band

Thanks for the listen.  Facebook page coming soon.  Reach us at [email protected]
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In Episode 14, Jim feels the need to tighten a few things up now that it looks like we'll be doing this for a while.

• Mark enjoys his first Newt's sponsor beer
• Randolph Mantooth is discussed
• Stage fright at the pee trough
• Mark's Country Club gets a mention
• Jim pays the oddest compliment ever about his buddy's podcast
• The Public Appearance (and what Mark didn't like about it)
• Is the Radio Game going the way of the dinosaurs?
• Donovan debate
• We discuss some music eventually
• Frank from Newt's
• The one and only episode of The Marklaughlin Group game (including one very very very obscure early 1970's NW Rochester reference)

Thanks for listening.  Hope you like it--if you don't, email us: [email protected]  Especially if you are one of the international listeners!

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Let's see if the title of this episode attracts or repels listeners.

• We spend just a little time on Ms Swift early and then move on to our random list of topics that you've grown to love/hate.
• We now have downloads from 4 countries:  USA (USA! USA!), Germany, India and now Canada.  How's it goin' up there, eh?  Nice fires you hoser.
• Mark's pop culture reference is from about 1980.
• We talk a little imploded submarine
• Jim's thing falls off right before he describes how awesome his first sponsor-deal beer went down.
• A jazz version of the Newt's promo (free form, long, hard to know when it ended, few will enjoy it)
• Tipping the Pull Tab Lady
• Back to the 50's Car Show
• The Ascertainers call the neighbor kid's grad party a "Public Appearance"
• All in the Family
• Jim realizes he swore too much and will get better
• Mark makes us wait until the 9th inning for his signature coalminers/cartoon/whistle laugh
• Mark reveals our identity crisis--we're TRYING!

Thanks for listening.  Please tell a friend.  
Go to Newt's Apple Valley MN and tell the Manager The Ascertainer's sent you!
Suggestions, feedback, etc:  [email protected]

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Here we are at Episode 12 already.  Let's get to the highlights, shall we?

• Mark still gets the newspaper.
• The Ascertainers secured their exclusive Newt's sponsorship.
• Mark won the Radio Game (even though he could have been disqualified).
• In case you missed the second bullet point--WE GOT A HANDSHAKE DEAL. AT NEWT'S!  Sure, it's got a few caveats and is to be paid out in free beer, but we're taking the win!  
• We have listeners in 3 countries now:  USA, Germany and India.  Now we know how Pitbull feels.  You know--Worldwide.
• Fish taco eating tips.
•  Why you don't play the Radio Game with Mark's wife.
• Jim's wife is musically promiscuous (that description escaped me during episode).
• Christian Laettner--not that big of a dick after all.
• Mark's inability to pronounce Szczerbiak is borderline depressing.
• Jim's inability to articulate forces a coalminer's laugh out of Mark.

Thanks for listening.  Drop us a line at [email protected] if you have feedback or suggestions, and GO TO NEWT"S!  Don't forget to tell them The Ascertainers sent you!

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This one starts off innocently enough but takes a few twists and turns.  There are laughs to be had, so it may still be worth a listen.

Pretty significant fail while trying to gain efficiencies by slimming down the intro and Radio Game explanation.

We discuss the different restaurant we tried while we have Newt's sweat out our negotiation tactics.

Radio Game = Shit Show.   But a shit show that gave birth to a modern spin on the Abbott and Costello classic "Who's on First" featuring The Guess Who and Grand Funk Railroad.  My guess is that you'll either find it very amusing or soul-crushingly irritating.  Enjoy!

We muck through a few more bands before finishing on a high note (relatively speaking...) with some John Denver and Carpenters.  Yes, the bar was set so low that we elevated the conversation with those two acts.

We now have listeners in Germany, India and Canada.  If you are one of them, please send us an email at [email protected] and let us know how you found us or anything else about you.  We hope you are an Audie!

Thanks for listening.  Big news coming on next episode!