The Babylon Bee

This is the Babylon Bee Interview show.

In this episode of the Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Alisa Childers. Alisa Childers first gained fame by being in the Christian Pop band, ZOEgirl. Alisa has since moved on from music into becoming a Christian Apologist with her own podcast and her debut book, Another Gospel?, available wherever you find books. Alisa's apologist story began when she discovered her Pastor was a self proclaimed "Hopeful Agnostic" thus leading her on a journey of discovering historic Christianity and the true meaning of rap core. Ethan and Kyle receive all the CCM back stories including that of the mysterious Carman.

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

Topics Discussed

• Alisa's logo design explanation
• What is Historic Christianity?
• Origin of ZOEgirl
• Alisa's Crisis of Faith
• Hopeful Agnostic Pastor
• Journey towards becoming an Apologist
• Defining Progressive Christianity
• Ways Progressive Christianity is infiltrating the Evangelical Church

Subscriber Portion

• Cool Stories
• Newsboys food habits
• Ending up on Aerosmith's bus
• Altar call with Journey
• ZOEgirl name Origin
• Rapcore
• 10 Questions
• G.K. Chesterton
• Babylon Bee Altar Call

This is the Babylon Bee Weekly News Podcast for the week of 11/13/2020.

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week's biggest stories like the pandemic being officially over now that Biden is President-elect, Biden's secret list of cabinet picks getting leaked by The Babylon Bee, and the party against fascism, the Democrats, are creating a giant list of enemies because that always ends well. Also, The Bee's big 'covfefe' table book The Sacred Texts of The Babylon Bee Volume 1 is finally hitting the streets and we have weird news and glorious hate mail!

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

Introduction

Kyle and Ethan talk about why Kyle looked like a hobo last week, vacuum haircut devices as seen on Wayne's World, the brand new The Sacred Texts Of The Babylon Bee Volume 1 available now and whether or not to accept the election results.

Stuff That's Good

Kyle likes Dungeons & Dragons

• Basic Rules
• Starter Set
• Tomb of Annihilation
• Tomb of the Serpent Kings

Ethan likes Bear in the Back Seat by Kim Delozier and Carolyn Jourdan.

Weird News

"Bigot" has been given a new dictionary definition (NTB)

• Oxford English Dictionary's definition of 'bigot' now reads: "A person who is obstinately or unreasonably attached to a belief, opinion, or faction, especially one who is prejudiced against or antagonistic toward a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular group."
• It no longer reads: "A person who is intolerant toward those holding different opinions."

Woman arrested for pretending to be FBI agent and demanding free Chick-fil-A. She even talked into her shirt like she was calling backup. (NTB)

• Authorities said Ragsdale kept up the ruse even as she was being arrested Thursday, at one point pretending to talk into a radio supposedly hidden under her shirt and urging the FBI to send someone to her aid, according to The Polk County Standard Journal, citing police. She also claimed her credentials were electronic-only when officers asked to see identification.
• Can FBI agents demand chick-fil-a?

Russian scientists discover huge walrus haulout in Arctic circle

• What the heck is a haulout - is it pronounced "haloot!" which is another word for Walrus dance party
• There were 3,000 walruses found in Russia
• The animals are believed to be going further and further south as scientists believe their habitats are warming and melting due to climate change
• Is John Bolton among them? How is he doing?

"Hey, Siri … How old is the president?" Her answer might shock (and infuriate) you (NTB)

• For some period of time, Siri would tell you how old Kamala Harris is… not Donald Trump or even presumptive President-elect Joe Biden
• Kyle tried it and it worked

100 Year Old Disc Golf Player Breaks Guinness Record With Long Throw

• At age 90 set a World Record when he lobbed a disc at a distance of 189 feet
• At age 100 threw a disc 189 feet for the over 100 age bracket
• Shinn said he is proud of his world record, but he feels like he can beat it again

Indian man builds 9-foot-long marker pen for Guinness\\\\\\\ record

• This one is just to piss Kyle off.

Parrot returns to British Owner speaking Spanish - four years after disappearing

• Nigel, a grey African Parrot, flew away from his home in California in 2010, but was returned to his British owner, Darren Chick, after he was discovered in Torrance, California.
• The bird's British accent is gone, replace by fluent Spanish and someone called "Larry"

King of West African Tribe returns to gardening job in Canada

• Eric Manu became royalty when his 67 year old uncle, Dat, passed away last year
• He moved back to British Columbia, he has returned to landscaping and gardening in the town in a bid to raise cash for his 6,000 strong tribe
• Manu hopes to improve healthcare with all the money he raises

Stories of the Week

Story 1

Pandemic Officially Over

Summary: After almost a year of suffering under a devastating killer pandemic, America was relieved to learn that the pandemic is officially over after they saw huge crowds of people smashed together celebrating Biden's apparent electoral win.

• You still can't go to church or go to a funeral, but hey!
• People were celebrating in the streets in mass crowds when major news like the AP and others declared Joe Biden the President-elect on Saturday 11/7.
• Scientists predict if Trump manages to flip the results COVID will return with a vengeance

Story 2We at The Babylon Bee have acquired a top-secret list of Biden's cabinet picks. Here they are.

Story 3

The political party vocally opposed to fascism, the Democrats, have begun creating lists of undesirables

• AOC's tweet
• The Trump Accountability Project
• "Remember what they did," the group's sparse website declares. "We should not allow the following groups of people to profit from their experience: Those who elected him. Those who staffed his government. Those who funded him."

Topic of the Week

The Sacred Texts of The Babylon Bee

• Retrospective on the life of The Bee
• Pull our favorite articles from the book
• Read through some of the new infographics

Hate Mail

This guy really hates Jonah Goldberg.

Subscriber Portion

• Behind the Scenes Update

• Mailbag From 13yo Kaitlyn and Jana asks about our podcast diet.

• Bonus Hate Mail

• • Cancel your own subscription!
• Headline Forum - Subscriber Headlines of the Week

• Got Any Cool Stories? / Calvin Update

• Email your cool stories for subscriber exclusive reading to [email protected]

This is the Babylon Bee Interview show.

In this episode of the Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Austin Petersen. Austin Petersen ran for President in the 2016 election with the Libertarian Party and is the founder and chief editor for The Libertarian Republic Website. He is described as a secular dude bro that is Pro life and finds more in common with many Christian Conservatives than those in his own party. Kyle and Ethan test Austin on his Libertarian views, especially in terms of Trump policies, Ferret ownership, and how often he prays to the Libertarian father, Ron Paul.

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

This episode is brought to you by Faithful Counseling. Get 10% off your first month.

Topics Discussed

• Election Day
• How many times does Austin show reverence toward Ron Paul?
• Why Petersen voted for Trump
• Major difference between Dems and Republicans
• Conservatism is about losing slowly
• The Two kinds of libertarians
• Libertarian view on Ferret ownership
• Are Libertarians Eating babies?
• Secular argument toward Pro life
• Creation of incubation chambers
• Secular journey for Petersen
• Why Petersen prefers Christian Conservative to Atheists Communists
• Not speaking up is much worse
• Libertarian Government future is not good
• Senator Mike Lee
• Libertarians take on a social justice warrior perspective

Subscriber Portion

• Problem with Petersen's Wiki page
• Living in a dumpster behind a quick drip
• Being a dude bro
• Most Garbage Libertarian website
• Why Petersen can't fit in to any political party
• 10 questions
• Good Kick fight story

This is The Babylon Bee News Podcast for the week of 11/6/2020.

In this Election 2020 special, your hosts Kyle Mann and Ethan Nicolle do a recap of all of our Election 2020 coverage which turned out to be fake news you could trust after all. They fondly remember all the absurd moments of the primaries and general election and try to bring some sanity to your election week craziness. We make politics way too important as G.K. Chesterton teaches us in this most excellent Election Podcast Special. Also, will you be our RBG?

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

This episode is brought to you by Small Group The Movie.

Introduction

Kyle voted for the first time and is haggard and tired. Ethan wrote a song to bring us all together: Be my RBG.

Stuff That's Good

Kyle likes Star Wars Squadrons.

Ethan likes Monster DC Sniper.

Weird news

Costco pulls coconut milk after report on forced monkey labor

• A PETA investigation accused Thai growers, who supply the coconuts for coconut milk such as the Chaokoh brand, of forcing monkeys to work as coconut pickers. Costco has stopped selling coconut milk derived from those producers, reports USA Today.
• Seems inefficient. Can't you just put a big snipper on a stick and get them down?
• PETA says some of the monkeys are driven insane.

Off-duty Nevada officer dressed as 'Star Wars' Stormtrooper stops suspected drunken driver

• An off-duty state trooper wearing a "Star Wars" costume while returning home from a Halloween party prevented a suspected drunken driver from entering a Las Vegas freeway in the wrong direction.

Indian doctor duped into buying 'Aladdin's lamp' for $93,000

• Police in India's northern Uttar Pradesh state have arrested two men who allegedly duped a doctor into buying an "Aladdin's lamp" for $93,000 that they promised would bring wealth and good fortune.
• Dr Laeek Khan approached police in the northern state of Uttar Pradesh after he realised the lamp did not have any magical powers, as described in the popular folk tale about Aladdin and his wish-granting genie that appears when it is rubbed.

California kayakers end up in mouth of humpback whale

• Two kayakers escaped uninjured when they briefly ended up in the mouth of a humpback whale that surfaced beneath them.

Seance live streamed from British manor breaks Guinness record

Babylon Bee Election Coverage:

2020 Election Roundup: The Insane Democratic Primary

Trump Vs Biden: The Babylon Bee's Top Articles From The 2020 Election

Topic of the Week

Kyle and Ethan read a portion of Chesterton's What's Right with the World

Hate Mail

We get chewed out by a retired Army guy for our coverage of Mitch McConnel's recent encounter with a plastic six-pack ring.

Love Mail

We get some crude love mail that we can appreciate.

Subscriber Lounge

Kyle and Ethan talk about politics being made to be more important than it is, discontent, prigs, and oligarchs as they continue reading from G.K. Chesterton.

This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

In this episode of the Babylon bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Jonah Goldberg. Jonah Goldberg is the Asness Chair in Applied Liberty at the American Enterprise Institute and a Fellow at the National Review Institute. In 2019, he left a role as Senior Editor of National Review magazine after a 21-year stint with the publication to start a new venture. He has been a weekly columnist for the Los Angeles Times since 2005 and a nationally syndicated columnist since 2000. He hosts the popular podcast The Remnant with Jonah Goldberg.

His most recent book, Suicide of the West: How the Rebirth of Tribalism, Populism, Nationalism, and Identity Politics Is Destroying American Democracy, was also a New York Times bestseller in 2018.

This is The Babylon Bee Weekly News Show for the week of 10/30/2020.

In this Spooky episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the Babylon Bee being mentioned at the Senate hearings and the week's top stories like another amazing Guinness World Record that Kyle gets so excited about, ACB ordering all Nation's Women to Wear Handmaid's Outfits, Democrats Proposing to stop Coyotes by distracting them with Decoy Roadrunners, and after Thanksgiving being banned, Californians turning to Turkey Barbecues in Honor of Black Lives Matter. Kyle and Ethan also share their favorite Horror Movies, TV Shows, and Books all in time for you to enjoy them before Halloween. Tune in for more weird news, cool stories, a trip to the mailbag and, of course, glorious hate mail.

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

This episode is brought to you by Small Group The Movie.

Introduction

Kyle and Ethan joke about Jack Dorsey dressing as a homeless man during his remote senate hearings and being referenced at the Senate hearings.

Stuff That's Good

Kyle likes Geeks Under Grace

Ethan likes Flor De Selva cigars

Weird News

• World's longest gum wrapper chain created by 70 year old retired teacher

• He began the feat back in 1965, which is when Gum chains were quite popular
• Gary's record breaking chain came in at a mind boggling 106,810 ft.
• Gary says as someone with no special skills that he has to do a lot of hard work in order to succeed in getting a world record

• Woman allegedly posed as prosecutor, dropped charges against herself

• Lisa Landon used the state's electronic system to drop the charges and submitted fake documents in three separate criminal cases last year.
• A forensic examiner who was supposed to perform a competency evaluation on her, noticed the charges were dropped.
• Landon also falsified a judge's decision to waive a filing fee and faked an order in a child custody case involving her child and a family member

• Police ID pastor accused of urinating on female Delta passenger: 'He peed on me!'

• According to the passenger named Alicia Beverly, told police she woke up on the plane around 2:45am to find a man urinating on her.
• After Beverly yelled 'He peed on me,' the Pastor said "I peed on her, I thought I was going to the bathroom"

• 'Big Pile' of eels dumped in NYC park; impact not yet known

• After dumping the eels in the lake, the man walked away, explaining to bystanders that "I just want to save lives"
• New York has a long history of people releasing animals. In 1890, Shakespeare enthusiasts released a flock of 60 European starlings(birds) that destroyed crops and snarl jet engines

• California billionaire Bill Gross accused of blaring 'Gilligan's Island' theme song on loop at his neighbor

• Gross was frustrated that he was forced by the city to take down a series of lighting and netting that blocked the neighbors view.
• The neighbor told Gross to turn the music down and he responded "Peace on all fronts or we'll just have nightly concerts big boy"

• Prescription drugs reported in children's Halloween candy after California event

• At a trunk or treat where kids would get candy through their windows, Police reported that a mother called after she found a resealable plastic bag with four blue pills and a white tablet in her child's bag of candy
• Recommended to parents to go through their children's candy piece by piece before they eat any of it

• Headless horseman brings music, double-takes to Concord, MA

• Man rides bicycle with no hands playing guitar while in a headless horseman costume

• Bicyclist says he has started to play the trumpet instead of the guitar on some days

• He has fallen, he said, but no serious falls as the headless horseman though

Story 1

Newly Sworn-In ACB Immediately Orders All Nation's Women To Wear Handmaid's Outfit

Summary:WASHINGTON, D.C.—After being sworn in as a Supreme Court justice, Amy Coney Barrett immediately issued a decree that all women are to wear red handmaid's outfits for the rest of their lives.

"Execute papal order 66," she said, her eyes glowing red. "Implement the theocratic state."

• ACB was confirmed on a party line vote in the Senate 52-48 with only one Republican Susan Collins voting NO.
• 'No': Graham Shuts Down Democrats' Attempts to Delay ACB Vote
• • Graham says that after what they did to Kavanaugh he is a changed man and didn't seem to have any tolerance for what they were trying to do.
• Democrat Harry Reid got rid of the rule requiring a supermajority to end debate over a nominee in 2013 so these narrow votes are able to get through.

Story 2

Democrats Propose Stopping Coyotes By Distracting Them With Decoy Roadrunners

Summary: After Trump brought attention to the coyote epidemic at the southern border during the debates, Democrats on Twitter are offering unique solutions to the problem, such as setting up decoy roadrunners to distract the coyotes.

Trump brought up coyotes bringing immigrants over the border. Liberals freaked out on Twitter and it was hilarious.

https://twitter.com/SophNar0747/status/1319524700721192967

USA Today Factcheck: Fact check: Trump did not mean actual 'coyotes' take children across the border

A "coyote," also known as "el coyote" is a term for people who smuggle others across borders in exchange for payment.

Story 3

After Thanksgiving Banned, Californians To Hold Turkey Barbecues In Honor Of Black Lives Matter On November 26

Summary: CALIFORNIA—Gavin Newsom has effectively banned Thanksgiving from California, requiring celebrating households to have only a few people, no bathroom usage, two-hour maximums, and individual plates.

Californians all announced they are complying with the plan and instead of celebrating Thanksgiving will be holding Black Lives Matter turkey barbecues scheduled, coincidentally, for November 26.

Topic of the Week

Scary Stuff We Like

Ethan:

Movies:

Exorcism of Emily Rose

Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness

Bad Taste, Dead Alive (Braindead)

The Babadook

Troll 2

Birdemic

the Thing (Kurt Russell)

Get Out

Shaun of the Dead

Gremlins

Spielberg's War of the Worlds

The Monster Squad

Riki Oh

Dead Heat

Books:

Brave Ollie Possum!

Babylon Bee Writers recommend the Cat which has a kung fu fight between a cat and dog

Kyle:

Movies:

• New Blumhouse series - The Lie, Black Box, Nocturne, Evil Eye.
• It Follows
• The Witch
• Misery
• The Shining
• Cabin in the Woods
• Happy Death Day
• Alien
• Get Out
• The Invisible Man
• A Quiet Place
• 2017's It
• Zombieland
• Color Out of Space
• 1922
• Doctor Sleep
• Black Sheep

Books:

• The Shining
• Pet Sematary
• Misery
• Salem's Lot
• Frankenstein
• Something Wicked This Way Comes
• Carrie
• Lovecraft: At the Mountains of Madness, The Festival, The Rats in the Walls, The Shadow over Innsmouth, Colour out of Space

Hate Mail

Check out some of the best Hate Tweets that are doing their best at hurting Kyle and Ethan's feelings.

Subscriber Lounge

• Behind the Scenes Update of the Studio being installed

• Updates on the Babylon Bee Book being sent out

• Kyle and Ethan read from the mailbag about their experiences with Christian Worship music

• Bonus hate mail from a reader that discourages Lebron wearing Lace to Basketball games

• Exclusive cool Ethan and Kyle stories

• Email your cool stories for subscriber exclusive reading to [email protected]

This is The Babylon Bee Interview Show.

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Doug Wilson. Doug is a pastor, author of over 90 books, most recently of Ride, Sally, Ride, and the host of Man Rampant. His church got in the news recently for a non-socially distanced, unmasked Psalm Sing in Moscow, Idaho that landed several members of their church in jail. They talk about what happened at the Psalm Sing, churches disengaging with the culture and politics, and why a Christian would write a book about sex robots.

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

This episode is brought to you by Faithful Counseling. Get 10% off your first month.

Topics Discussed:

• The Moscow Psalm Sing
• The Doug Wilson Cult and complex in Moscow
• The Fight, Laugh, Feast network
• Churches being politically active and engaging the culture or not
• Churches meeting or not because of COVID-19
• Partisan politics- is it a sin to vote for Joe Biden?
• Dead people voting
• Controversy surrounding Doug Wilson
• Slavery, William Wilberforce
• Revolution vs. Reformation as means of change, applying this to abortion
• Postmillennialism in the year 2020
• Mark of the Beast going on facemasks
• Writing books about sex robots like Ride, Sally, Ride
• Appropriateness of lewd, shocking things in Christian art

Subscriber Portion

• What the heck is Federal Vision?
• Doug Wilson's respectful relationship and debate with atheist Christopher Hitchens
• The Ten Questions
• Doug tells an awesome fistfight story
• Kyle and Ethan de-convert Doug Wilson
• Kyle and Ethan Post-Show

This is The Babylon Bee Weekly News Show for the week of 10/23/2020.

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week's top stories like President Trump tweeting out a Babylon Bee story, Jordan Peterson returning with the 12 Rules For Life on stone tablets, and how Facebook is murdering comedy. The Babylon Bee also has some updated and more realistic travel posters to America's big cities. Tune in for more weird news, cool stories, a trip to the mailbag and, of course, glorious hate mail.

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

This episode is brought to you by Small Group The Movie.

Introduction

Kyle and Ethan joke about our recent spat with Mark Zuckerberg and dive into the weekly news.

Stuff That's Good

Kyle likes the 2018 video game Celeste.

Ethan likes I survived...

Weird News

Space Station air leak repaired with help from floating tea leaves

• There was a slow air leak in a transfer chamber on the space station that suddenly got worse
• Astronauts broke open a tea bag to watch the leaves float toward where the leak was so they could use tape to seal it.

'Breathable Bacon' face mask gives wearers the aroma of bacon

• A U.S. company is offering fans of breakfast meats the chance to enjoy the scent of sizzling pork anytime they want with a bacon-scented face mask.
• Hormel said the Black Label Breathable Bacon mask uses the "the latest in bacon-smell technology" to give the wearer the experience of smelling bacon anytime they don the protection accessory.
• Do they make a soy version?

Naked teen taken into custody after damaging business, covering himself in ranch dressing and crashing car.

• Sheriffs responded to a call at 3:30am and found a naked 17 year old man who was under the influence of a substance
• The man had covered himself in ranch dressing and damaged property inside the business
• He ran outside and drove off. Didn't get far and crashed into a pillar.
• He must do penance by covering himself in CFA sauce

Tennessee teenager's homemade fusion reactor lands Guinness record

• the world's youngest person to achieve nuclear fusion after officials verified that he built his own nuclear fusion reactor at his family's home and successfully used it in his final hours of being 12 years old.
• Tony Stark?

Blindfolded man smashes 50 coconuts around another man's body

• An Indian martial artist showed off his strength and precision when he donned a blindfold and smashed 50 coconuts that were arranged around the body of another man.
• They were given a Guinness World Record
• The men, Rakesh B and Prabhakar Reddy P, were awarded the Guinness record for most coconuts smashed around a person blindfolded in 1 minute.
• Kyle would like to protest these absolutely ridiculous records
• What's next? Most toothpicks covered in Crisco fit into a microwave?

Story 1

Check Out These Eight Beautiful Travel Posters For America's Democrat-Controlled Cities

Summary: U.S.—With people leaving Democrat cities in droves, mayors and city councils are hoping to fill them back up again -- with tourists!

Maybe it's time to give these cities a second chance. Check out these beautiful tourism posters from Democrat-controlled cities around the country!

• Read the posters and the punchline, keep it tight, video version will display the posters

Story 2

Trump Shares Babylon Bee Article, Thousands Accept Jesus Into Their Hearts

Summary: WASHINGTON, D.C.—Thousands around the world are forsaking their sins and receiving Christ this week after Trump shared an article from The Babylon Bee.

The Babylon Bee is widely known as the most Christian website ever created. In fact, it is so insanely Christian that a single share on social media has the power to instantly save hundreds of souls. According to sources, Trump was ignorant of this fact before sharing the article.

• USA TODAY: Trump tweets satirical news story: What is Babylon Bee and is it 'fake news'?

• The knowingly fake story came from Babylon Bee, a satire site with a conservative bent, and claimed, in jest, that Twitter was shutting down its platform to prevent the spread of negative news about Democratic nominee Joe Biden.
• "Wow, this has never been done in history. This includes his really bad interview last night. Why is Twitter doing this," Trump tweeted.
• Also mentioned: Video of Trump being normal guy at church in Las Vegas.

Story 3

Jordan Peterson Returns To Find Americans Worshiping Golden Statue Of Karl Marx, Breaks 12 Rules For Life In Anger

Summary: After a year-long excursion into the belly of the beast, Dr. Jordan Peterson emerged this week and was dismayed to find millions of Americans worshipping at the altar of a golden Karl Marx statue. Overtaken with righteous anger, he smashed his stone tablets containing 12 Rules for Life into tiny pieces.

• Jordan Peterson seems to be back posting to his YouTube channel a video entitled Return Home.
• He had been out of the public eye for a very long time with a severe reaction he had to a anti-anxiety medication he had been taking as prescribed but became chemically dependent upon when he tried to cease taking it
• He ended his video by saying, ""With God's grace and mercy, I'll be able to start generating original material once again and pick up where I left off."
• We are interviewing Mikhaila soon so stay tuned for that!

Topic of the Week: Facebookgate and the challenges of writing comedy for the internet

• Facebook took down this facebook post Senator Hirono Demands ACB Be Weighed Against A Duck To See If She Is A Witch
• 'It's literally a regurgitated joke from a Monty Python movie!" the Bee's CEO exclaimed.
• Facebook completely deactivated any monetizing tools for us on their site.
• Kyle's tweet thread about this.
• What makes writing comedy for the internet difficult? How the articles are seen, shared, received, etc.
• It's like a comedy show where you can't talk to the audience directly. Instead, you must tell your jokes to Mark Zuckerberg. Then, he edits your joke and walks out to your audience and tells them the ones he finds appropriate. You're never sure if a "bomb" is your fault or Mark's.
• Check out Kyle's op-ed in Thursday's edition of the WSJ
• Kyle mentioned this Vulture article on how Facebook is killing comedy
• Funny or Die was thriving, then Facebook came along. They fired a bunch of their writers 'cause it was impossible to write for Facebook's algorithm. Every post throttled, etc.

Hate Mail

We get some very fiery Scottish rendition of this week's hate mail.

Subscriber Lounge

• A more structured Subscriber Portion!
• Book updates and office updates
• Mailbag
• Mega Bonus Hate Mail
• Headline Forum
• Exclusive cool Ethan and Kyle stories
• Email your cool stories for subscriber exclusive reading to [email protected]

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Diana Glyer, author of Bandersnatch: C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien, and the Creative Collaboration of the Inklings.. She has spent 40 years combing through archives, studying old manuscripts, and is considered a leading expert on C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien. Her scholarship, her teaching, and her work as an artist all circle back to one common theme: creativity thrives in community. Kyle and Ethan talk to Dr. Glyer about Tolkien, Lewis, and the creativity that can happen in a community like The Inklings.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

Topics Discussed

• Who were The Inklings?
• How does Creativity thrive in community?
• Tom Bombadil and the quiet "homely home" portions of LOTR
• Peter Jackson's Lord Of The Rings trilogy
• "There are no dentists in Mordor"
• Tolkien caused C.S. Lewis to throw Narnia in the trash at one point
• Differences between C.S. Lewis and Tolkien
• The Chronicles Of Narnia
• C.S. Lewis' journey to faith and Tolkien's consistent prayer for his friend
• G.K. Chesterton's The Everlasting Man influencing Lewis
• What was going on in the third book of Lewis' Space Trilogy?
• Humans being sub-creators, Mythopoeia
• How much pipe weed did the Inklings go through?
• What is a Bandersnatch?
• Artists need brutally honest criticism to be better
• Diana likes our Decaf Condemned As Heresy mugs and Mt. Writemore mugs in our store

Subscriber Portion

• Which of these modern writers make it into The Inklings or have been promptly kicked out?
• The Chronicles of Narnia movies
• How well did Christopher Tolkien manage to expand his father's work?
• Amazon's Lord of the Rings series gets the Game of Thrones treatment
• The Hobbit movies
• Drama and conflicts in The Inklings
• Dyson is the Yoko of the group
• The Ten Questions

This is the Babylon Bee Weekly News Podcast for the week of 10/16/2020.

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week's biggest stories like ACB using a crucifix to defend herself from the Senate, Los Angeles allowing a large religious gathering after the Lakers win, and Biden telling voters they don't deserve to know if he will enact a glorious communist utopia if elected. Kyle and Ethan also talk about the angry comments on the New York Times piece on The Babylon Bee and how dictionaries now are engaging in gaslighting the populace.

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

Introduction

Welcome to The Babylon Bee where we talk about the news and have an animation playlist on YouTube...

Stuff That's Good

Kyle likes Stephen King's On Writing.

Ethan likes Gran Torino.

Weird News

Herd of charging cows in England kill second man in month

• Police are looking for witnesses to help with the investigation in who's causing the charging cows

Thai hotel seeks deal with guest facing jail over bad reviews

• Thailand's criminal defamation and computer crimes acts, he could be fined up to 100,000 baht ($3,200) as well as facing jail time.

• Reviewer said he was mad about a 500 baht ($16) corkage fee

Reporter confronts aggressive raccoon outside White House

• The incident was not the first confrontation between the media and racoons at the White House.

• Reporter quoted "Frickin' raccoons, man. God, again! This is the second time! Jesus...It always comes around right around when I'm about to go on TV...get!

Ex-jail employees charged for playing 'Baby Shark' on repeat

• Jail employees forced inmates to stand handcuffed for hours and listen to "Baby Shark" on repeat

Stories of the Week

Story 1

Democrats Hiss In Terror As ACB Pulls Out Crucifix

Summary: Amy Coney Barrett has eloquently defended herself through the Senate confirmation hearings this morning. But as Dems grew increasingly vicious, she was forced to turn to desperate measures. After several hours of hearings, Barrett pulled out a large crucifix and held it aloft. A light shone from the heavens, and the Democrats knew they were defeated.

• ACB took questions beginning Monday from the Senate about her judicial philosophy of originalism and how she would decide on cases related to the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) and Roe V Wade.
• "I've made no commitment to anyone, not in this Senate, not over in the White House, about how I would decide any case," said Judge Amy Coney Barrett "I'm not willing to make a deal, not with this committee, not with the President."
• Sen. Mazie Hirono asks ACB "since you became a legal adult, have you ever made unwanted requests for sexual favors or committed any verbal or physical harassment or assault of a sexual nature?"
• @Erikrosalesnews tweeted: What is so amazing, Judge Amy Coney Barrett is testifying with only a small note pad and a pencil. She is a former law professor who is often correcting Senators on the details of the cases headed to the Supreme Court. She is schooling lawmakers.
• When she was confirmed as a Federal judge 3 years ago, Sen. Diane Feinstein said, "The dogma lives loudly with you."
• The new Dem talking point is to scream loudly about Court Packing which nominating ACB is not. Here's Dan Rather to illustrate.

Story 2

L.A. Mayor Allows Large Religious Gathering Outside Staples Center

Summary: Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti, having opposed large religious gatherings in his city for the past 7 months, has suddenly reversed course, allowing a large worship service to take place in the streets of the city last night. Despite the ban on religious gatherings, the worshipers came together to honor their god, LeBron James, in a spontaneous outpouring of love and praise. Worshipers in this religion, rather than singing songs or saying prayers, topple cars and throw things at the police.

• Mayor Garcetti and Governor Gavin Newsom have famously been harassing churches that try to meet in defiance of the social distancing rules like Grace Community Church and John MacArthur
• They seemingly have no problem with BLM/ANTIFA marches and now everyone massing in the streets to celebrate the Lakers winning the NBA championship
• Did anyone watch it? There's no salvaging these awful NBA Finals ratings

Story 3

Biden: 'I Won't Reveal Whether I Plan On Abolishing The Constitution And Establishing A Glorious Communist Utopia Until After I'm Elected'

Summary: Joe Biden was asked yet again today if he plans to abolish the Constitution, overthrow Congress, dismiss the Supreme Court, and set up a Communist regime to take their place. Once again, Biden refused to answer the question, saying voters will find out whether he plans to seize the means of production and institute a one-party rule, U.S.S.R.-style.

"Look, if I tell you whether or not I plan to institute a new Communist order, establishing a glorious worker-led revolution that will lead us out of this capitalistic nightmare and into a paradisical utopia, that would become the headline," Biden said. "That would be playing Trump's game. So I'm not going to say whether I support this great idea."

• Joe Biden and Kamala Harris have been dodging the question of whether they would consider packing the Supreme Court
• Biden says voters don't deserve to know his position on court-packing.

Topic of the Week: Even the dictionaries are beginning to gaslight people. The dictionary changed a word because of a moment at the ACB SCOTUS hearing to make something she said "offensive."

• Kyle's Orwell tweet about the definition being changed in a day to make 'sexual preference' defined as 'offensive

Hate Mail

Sit back for these awesome comments to the recent NYT mostly peaceful piece on The Babylon Bee. Their readers were not happy.

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Kyle and Ethan talk about peanuts and a terrible yard sign you've probably seen around town.