The Babylon Bee

This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to professor of political science Justin Dyer, author of C. S. Lewis on Politics and the Natural Law and director of the Kinder Institute on Constitutional Democracy. Topics range from C.S. Lewis' view on natural law, being a classical liberal, and how C.S. Lewis wanted all kids off his lawn.

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

Topics Discussed

• How Dyer became interested in CS Lewis
• Would CS Lewis vote for Trump
• How Lewis pulls theology, philosophy, and politics all into his writing
• What is natural law?
• C.S. Lewis influences
• C.S. Lewis being a classical liberal
• Social Dilemma
• Abolition of man and the modern times
• Left and right attacking natural law in Lewis' time
• C.S. Lewis would be a libretraian
• Lewis wanted to be treated like a dinosaur
• Abolition of man waterfall
• C.S. Lewis criticism of english language textbooks
• Objective standards to beauty and art
• Oxytocin for humor

Subscriber portion

• Lewis answering every letter written to him
• Lewis hated his modern technology
• Lewis didn't like change
• Lewis wouldn't be a fan of twitter
• CS Lewis and Sexuality
• Cs Lewis view on marriage made Tolkien uncomfortable
• How one writer believes Lewis is going to Hell
• Lewis' view of tradition
• 10 Questions
• Great embarrassing story

This is the Babylon Bee Weekly News Podcast for the week of 12/18/2020.

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week's biggest stories like Elon Musk noticing our fine journalism, Dr. Jill Biden expertly saving a life with just a podium and a microphone, Disney announcing 7,562 new Star Wars shows. They also discuss how prolific and prophetic G.K. Chesterton was writing over a century ago. There's stuff that's good, weird news, glorious hate mail, and unintentional rambunctious reindeer.

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

Introduction

Kyle is getting old and the guys discuss whether walking on one's back is a remedy. On the plus side, Kyle read all of Abigail Shrier's book Irreversible Damage. Kyle and Ethan remember Ebaumsworld and Newgrounds and how his Mission To The Moon music video is getting some attention recently.

Stuff That's Good

Kyle likes the board game Sonar.

Ethan likes Scythian album Roots and Stones.

Weird News

Porch pirate steals bait box filled with cat poop

Precious painting lost at German airport found at dumpster

Woman receives birthday card mailed by her late mother in 2015

Man buys 160 tickets for one lottery drawing, wins 160 times

Marvel's Star-Lord is apparently now a polyamorous bisexual

Google sends 7-year-old warning that his parents are monitoring his account and WAY too many people are okay with that.

Genius! These codebreakers just cracked the Zodiac Killer's infamous 340 cipher, 51 YEARS after it was first published.

Teacher assistant mortified after missing rude detail on Christmas cardigan

Sentence spelled out by balloons breaks Guinness record

Stories of the Week

Story 1 - Man Chokes In Restaurant, Dr. Jill Biden Springs Into Action To Deliver Educational Lecture Summary: As Dr. Jill Biden and her husband went out to eat over the weekend, a man began choking on his Denver omelet. But lucky for him, Dr. Jill Biden was there, and she is a doctor.

"We need a doctor here!" cried a waiter. "Is there a doctor in the house?"Dr. Jill Biden sprang into action. "I'm a doctor!" she said, rushing over. "I'm going to need a podium and a microphone, stat!" After a busboy hurried over with the life-saving tools she would need, Dr. Jill Biden thanked him and then began delivering a speech on meeting students' needs at the community college level.

An op-ed in the Wall Street Journal by Joseph Epstein sparked a debate over calling Jill Biden a "doctor" since she is not a medical doctor but has a doctorate in education.

"Madame First Lady — Mrs. Biden — Jill — kiddo," the piece begins. "Any chance you might drop the 'Dr.' before your name? 'Dr. Jill Biden' sounds and feels fraudulent, not to say a touch comic."

Epstein went on to argue that the prestige of doctorates and honorary degrees has been diminished by political correctness and the relaxation of academic standards before urging Biden to "forget the small thrill of being Dr. Jill, and settle for the larger thrill of living for the next four years in the best public housing in the world as First Lady Jill Biden."

Conservative pundits pointed to the episode as an example of what they say is a quickness on the part of the political left to be offended.

"I'm sorry. Telling a white lady in her late 60s that she should stop calling herself doctor because she is not an actual medical doctor, that is not sexist. It's not," commentator Ben Shapiro

Hillary Clinton tweeted: Her name is Dr. Jill Biden. Get used to it.

Lots of politicos on Twitter were changing their bio and hilarity ensued.

Story 2 - The Babylon Bee Presents An Exclusive Inside Look At 15 Upcoming Star Wars Shows

Summary: Disney announced about 7,562 new Star Wars shows yesterday. But that's just the tip of the iceberg, as more shows are soon to follow. We at The Babylon Bee have a Star Wars insider (we're not saying it's Gina Carano, but we're not not saying it). We asked her -- or him, or them -- what shows have yet to be announced, and they were able to tease these upcoming shows. They sound amazing!

Story 3 - Immediately After Moving To Texas, Elon Musk Announces Tesla AR-15

Summary: After years of fighting lame California politicians who want to lock everyone in their homes so they can't go to space or build cool stuff, Tesla CEO Elon Musk announced he was moving to a land flowing with milk and honey called Texas. Almost immediately after the move, he announced a new product the whole world has been waiting for: the Tesla AR-15.

Elon Musk really is moving to Texas

Elon has a strange obsession with The Babylon Bee

He said we were "savage" on Twitter.

He also weirdly tagged us under an Onion story.

What else could he create?

Topic of the Week: Top Prophetic Chesterton Quotes

G.K. Chesterton was a prolific and seemingly prophetic writer. Kyle and Ethan discuss.

Hate Mail

Ethan delivers a moving rendition of Linda not appreciating our satire when it targets her personal political hero and we discover a new word to describe journalism that makes us think of the bathroom.

Subscriber Portion

Bonus Chesterton Prophecies/Quotes

Mailbag

Caleb R. writes in to tell Ethan he is not alone with his toddler poop struggles.

Bonus Hate Mail

Someone was looking for highbrow content and mental stimulation and was sorely disappointed when he flipped out The Babylon Bee Podcast.

Email your cool stories for subscriber exclusive reading to [email protected]

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Mike Lindell. Mike Lindell is the founder and current CEO of My Pillow. Mike Lindell first gained fame for starring in the My Pillow infomercials sporting his trademark mustache, periwinkle blue shirt, and cross necklace. He has gained recent notoriety for becoming one of President Trump's biggest supporters. Mike shows why he is always the best at parties by sharing stories of his crack addiction, becoming a commercial celebrity, and how the media can't cancel him.

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

Don't forget to check out our store and pick up your Christmas gifts!

• Subscription deals
• The Sacred Texts
• Santa punching heretics shirt

Topics Discussed

• What makes the My Pillow Great?
• How an inventor's mind works
• Becoming an Evangelical speaker
• World record pillow fight
• Bible Verses with My Pillow
• Addiction story
• Getting cut off from a drug dealer
• Lindell Recovery Network
• Donald Trump
• Swords, drugs, Mexico
• Armed robbery as a card counter
• Infomercials
• Been on tv 3.2 million times
• Periwinkle Blue shirts
• Government is sequestering the supplements
• South Dakota has been doing it right
• California's insanity with Covid
• Donald Trump and the election
• Addiction centers
• Mask giveaway with a two hour sermon

Subscriber Portion

• My Pillow voting machine
• My Pillow can help with all the corruption in politics
• Wearing a cross at the crack house and on TV
• Breaking records on the shopping network
• Hears God by staying proactive in Prayer
• Funding Unplanned
• Riding a bulldozer in Unplanned
• Being attacked by Jack Dorky
• 10 Questions

This is the Babylon Bee Weekly News Podcast for the week of 12/11/2020.

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan are joined by actress Wendy Shapero, who you may know from Dirt, Free Samples, Robot Chicken, or the voice of the mom from our very own Babylon Bee animation. They talk about the week's biggest stories like how our government is covering up aliens being among us, the vaccine being distributed through pyramid schemes, and how Santa's Nice List has become compromised through software glitches. They also talk about how Kung Fu masters look to spread the gospel of the iron crotch, read hate mail, and wonder how many trendy food products Wendy will pitch to us before the show ends.

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

This episode is brought to you by Faithful Counseling. Babylon Bee listeners get 10% their first month at that link.

Intro

Wendy talks about some of the roles she has played for The Babylon Bee and Robot Chicken. You might recognize her voice as the mom for our family or from the Halloween special. Here is the song she can't get out of her head right now.

Stuff that's Good

Kyle likes Almost Heroes

Ethan likes Sugar Taylor sauce and Junebug rub

Wendy Shapero likes walking on hot coals with Tony Robbins and TUSOL which she swears is totally not a pyramid scheme.

Weird NewsAliens in hiding until mankind is ready, says ex-Israeli space head

• Space aliens have reached an agreement with the US government to stay mum on the experiments they conduct on Earth — as well as their secret base on Mars — until mankind is ready to accept them, the former head of Israel's space program, 87-year old Haim Eshed, claimed in a new interview.
• "Trump was on the verge of revealing [aliens existence], but the aliens in the Galactic Federation are saying, 'Wait, let people calm down first,'" Eshed, who helmed Israel's space security program from 1981 to 2010, reportedly said. "They don't want to start mass hysteria. They want to first make us sane and understanding."
• He also claims astronauts have already been to Mars… at the Alien's secret base

California man punches 350-pound bear in face to save beloved dog 'Buddy'

• This happened in Nevada county, the bear had the dog by the head in its mouth and was dragging it back into the woods 100 ft away so Kaleb Benham ran out and punched the 350 pound bear in the face.
• Buddy went into surgery and came out after three hours with some stitches and some staples, but was able to return home for Thanksgiving. Benham and Buddy spent the holiday in bed resting up and healing.
• Buddy is expected to make a full recovery.

"I'm OK, Just A Bit Tired": Italian Man Walks 450 Kilometers To Cool Off After Arguing With His Wife

• A man from Italy walked 280 miles after an argument with his wife
• He was caught by police and fined for breaking the lockdown.
• Wife had to pick him up and drive him back home after paying the fine.

Mall Santa Rejects Nerf Gun Request, Brings Boy to Tears

• A video making the rounds on social media shows a mall Santa bringing a young boy to tears by rejecting the child's request for a Nerf gun, and going even further to say, "No guns."
• The New York Post reported the story, referring to the Kris Kringle imitator as a "politically correct Santa."
• Update: Christmas justice! That mall fired Woke Santa and got a nerf gun for the kid he made cry.

Chinese "iron crotch" kung fu masters fight to preserve a painful-looking tradition

• These guys smash their testicles
• Its most famous technique involves a steel-plate capped log, 6.5 feet in length and weighing 88 pounds that swings through the air and smashes into a man's crotch.
• "When you practise iron crotch kung fu, as long as you push yourself, you will feel great," said Wang, head of the Juntun Martial Arts Academy.

Man uses sword to slice 68 grapes while standing on balance board to beat world record

Stories of the Week

Story 1 - 138,000 Kids Suddenly Added To Santa's Nice List In Middle Of Night

Summary: Santa Claus's nice list is said to be run on trustworthy software, safe and secure on an unhackable server under his workshop.

But some are questioning the legitimacy of the nice list after the tally suddenly spiked in the middle of the night, adding over 138,000 kids to the good side of the list.

• There was a suspicious adjustment of 138,000 votes all for Biden in the middle of the night in Michigan.
• There are still various Trump lawsuits and the state of Texas lawsuit about the election procedures around the nation.
• We will probably get banned from YouTube for talking about it though according to their latest email.

Story 2 - In Order To Appeal To Suburban Christian Women, Vaccine To Be Distributed Through A Pyramid Scheme

Summary: Many people are skeptical of the coming vaccine, some due to political reasons, and others due to religious reasons or the fact that all the numbers in the vaccine's serial number add up to 666 or something.

But there's one group that will definitely be on board with the vaccine now: suburban Christian women.

That's because the vaccine is being rebranded as an empowering wellness product called VacciLife. Women can sign on as an independent VacciLife consultant just by purchasing a $200 starter kit. Then, they're able to become their own boss and control their financial future by selling the vaccine -- and, even more importantly, a great business opportunity -- to their friends and family.

Story 3 - Newsom Issues Double Stay-at-Home Order Where You Have To Stay In A Smaller House Inside Your Original House

Summary: In an attempt to fight another spike in COVID-19 infections in California, Governor Gavin Newsom has issued the first ever double stay-at-home order. With the new order, people aren't only ordered to stay in their homes no matter what, but also aren't free to wander around their homes. Instead they have to stay inside smaller houses inside their regular homes.

It's suggested that each member of the household stays inside their own tiny house until the pandemic ends, even babies.

• Once again a policy that favors the rich (they have space in their big houses for small houses)
• Newsom is trying to ban gathering, outdoor dining, etc. Lots of local county and city law enforcement aren't listening
• LA County tried to ban outdoor dining, but lost a court case about it.
• Newsom is a hypocrite going to French Laundry with no mask and no social distancing
• LA County Supervisor Sheila Kuehl voted to ban outdoor dining and then went to her favorite restaurant
• Chef Gruel who owns nation-wide chain of restaurants called SLAPFISH Seafood basically said the government's orders aren't based on any science that outdoor dining is causing the spread of COVID and that banning outdoor dining is causing more people to gather indoors in their homes which we know is causing the spread. He told the government he's going to stay open. He says, "It's crystal clear... elected officials are owned by corporate America or Silicon Valley, perhaps the entertainment industry— the rules don't apply to them. But they obviously apply to all of us small businesses, and we're getting crushed..."
• Pete Davidson calling people babies for wanting to end the lockdown and get back to work —- FROM HIS JOB (SNL)
• The Austin mayor told everyone to stay home while vacationing in Mexico

Topic of the Week: Wikipedia's List Of Unusual Deaths

Kyle recently became obsessed with this morbid topic.

Hate mail

A woman really takes issue with how we apparently are banning meals that serve more than six.

Subscriber Segment

Subscriber update

Kyle and Dan are launching a Babylon Bee Reads podcast starting with The Lord Of The Rings. Get the book, read the foreword, prologue, and chapter 1 and look for episodes to drop in a few weeks.

Mailbag

We have a Carman sighting from Bee friendCameron Belt

MAGABoomer Bonus hate mail -

A MAGAboomer responded to our newsletter and didn't like us poking fun at Sydney Powell and sent us the most ALL CAPS, LINK-FILLED, ANIMATED GIF-filled MAGABoomer email we have ever received. And we are absolutely in love with it.

Subscriber headlines

We do a weekly rundown of the top subscriber-submitted headlines of the week and give shoutouts to the ones that even got published! HUGE shoutout!

Got any cool stories?

In this episode of the Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Bridget Phetasy. Bridget is a well known writer and podcaster. She has a monthly column on the Spectator website and has two Podcast shows: Dumpster Fire and Walk-Ins Welcome. Bridget gained notoriety for making both liberals and conservatives angry through her writing and now has gained an even greater audience making people angry on Twitter. You may even recognize her voiceover work on the Bee Animation, where she has voiced Samantha and many others. Kyle and Ethan talk to Bridget about how Kanye West wrote a lyric about her, her struggle with addiction, and how she is stuck in the wasteland of being a centrist in a polarized political world.

Topics Discussed

• Bridget's origin story
• Bridget's dreams being delusional
• 2020 can be good
• Tropic Thunder
• Appearing on Jerry Springer's show Baggage
• Stand-up comedy
• Appearing on Curb Your Enthusiasm
• Voiceover work
• Game of improv for a career
• Ben Shapiro
• Bridget's first appearance on Fox
• Kanye writing a song about Bridget
• Risk of talking to the other side
• The left being afraid of platforming
• Danger of woke culture
• Wasteland of the center
• Gavin Newsom atrocities
• Gun control
• Free speech warrior
• Pro brunch

Subscriber Portion

• Introduction of the subscriber lounge
• The PG rating
• Being politically homeless
• Trump wearing people down
• The election results
• Sydney Powell
• Encouraging man spreading
• Equal hate from both sides
• No sacred cows
• Take the work seriously, don't take yourself seriously
• Hypocrisy of capitalism
• Wealthy woke white women
• People in power thinking they are oppressed
• Fake vote suppression
• Twitter fact check
• Built Back Better
• Alex Jones starting to sound reasonable
• Religious talk
• Conspiracy theories are hilarious
• Trust in Institutions
• Q Adjacent
• Handling Trauma with jokes
• 10 Questions
• Good fight story
• Best Concerts

This is the Babylon Bee Weekly News Podcast for the week of 12/4/2020.

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week's biggest stories like Biden's all-female communications team reminding us that we should already know what's wrong in the nation, Biden's arm falling off in peanut butter jar opening attempt, and a bowl of porridge getting a record-shattering 80 million votes. Kyle and Ethan inform you about the worst Christmas songs ever so that you can avoid them. There's weird news, glorious hate mail, and Kyle learns how to pronounce the word 'heron'.

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

Introduction

The Babylon Bee wishes our fanbase in Wyoming, MATT TUNSTALL, a happy 40th birthday!

Also, Ethan is having some killer deals at his Axe Bear Store with a way to get a free Axe Cop trade paperback.

Stuff That's Good

Kyle likes The Battle of Five Armies Behind the Scenes Video

Ethan likes Axe Cop the Game which is available now on Steam!

Weird News

More than 150 Santas ride jet skis for Guinness record

Mike Tyson eats ear off Roy Jones Jr. cake ahead of exhibition bout

George Clooney Has Been Using Flowbee For Years

Anti-gay Hungarian politician József Szájer resigns after being caught attending 25-man orgy in breach of COVID-19 rules

Eel bursts out of Flying Heron's stomach alien style

Stories of the Week

Story 1 - Biden All-Female Communications Team Won't Tell Nation What's Wrong, Nation Should Already Know

Summary: Biden's transition team has announced they will be appointing an all-female communications team. According to sources, the team will not tell the nation what's wrong, since the nation should already know.

Story 2 - Biden's Arm Falls Off While Trying To Open A Jar Of Peanut Butter

Summary: Staffers have revealed that Biden was the victim of yet another tragic accident after his arm fell completely off as he attempted to open up a jar of peanut butter.

Story 3 - In National Survey Of Favorite Foods, Lukewarm Bowl Of Porridge Wins 80 Million Votes

Summary: In a surprise result from a national survey of favorite foods, the winner, with 80 million votes -- blowing away the previous record of 69 million votes -- was a lukewarm bowl of porridge. The soggy bowl of chopped grains has apparently exploded in popularity around the country and is now handily the most beloved food of all.

Topic of the Week: The Worst Christmas Songs of All Time

• Mary Did You Know?
• The Christmas Shoes
• Last Christmas
• Wonderful Christmastime
• Little Drummer Boy
• Baby It's Cold Outside
• We Three Kings
• Anything by Chris Tomlin "Joy to the World"
• Santa Baby
• I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
• Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
• All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth
• Feliz Navidad
• We Wish You a Merry Christmas
• 12 Days of Christmas
• Every Hanson Christmas album

Bonus: Christmas songs we like

• O Holy Night
• O Come O Come Emmanuel
• Rob Halford's III Winter Songs
• Dio's God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman
• Stryper - Winter Wonderland
• Handel's Messiah

Hate Mail

A concerned fan believes the Joker has released laughing gas at The Babylon Bee studios and some dude has a thing for sweaty jars of mayonnaise.

Subscriber Portion

Behind the Scenes Update

Subscribers actually get to see the subscriber-exclusive lounge.

Mailbag

Video question from subscriber Allen Boone.

Bonus Hate Mail

This is the most flowerbedded email we have ever received.

Headline Forums

Got Any Cool Stories?

Email your cool stories for subscriber exclusive reading to [email protected]

In this episode of the Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Dan Whitney better known as Larry The Cable Guy. Dan gained fame from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour while patenting the phrase "Get R Done" in his hilarious stand up act. Dan was able to reach out to the next generation when he voiced the role of Mater in the Pixar film, Cars. Dan talks to Kyle and Ethan about how he snagged the role of Mater, how he's canceling cancel culture, and the time he had to get Chuck Berry off stage.

Topics Discussed

• Larry The Cable Guy on the View
• Why Dan chose the name Reagan for his daughter
• How Dan found the Babylon Bee
• The Story of Dan snagging the role of Mater
• Joking with Paul Newman
• Kicking Chuck Berry off stage
• How Dan became Larry The Cable Guy
• Ben Shapiro Tweet
• Can't cancel Larry The Cable Guy
• Late night talk hosts
• Goofiness of Steve Martin
• The worst audiences of the world
• Being a comedy superstar
• Tobacco spitting and Delta Farce
• Replacing the Rock and Arnold Schwarzenegger

Subscriber Portion

• Friendship with Lewis Black
• Cool stories with Jeff Foxworthy
• 10 questions
• Another Carmen story

This is The Babylon Bee 2020 Thanksgiving Special.

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

Check out the new Babylon Bee book: The Sacred Texts Of The Babylon Bee. It makes a great Christmas gift!

Check out the new Axe Cop video game coming out Thanksgiving 2020! Watch Kyle and Ethan react to their first time playing here!

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan don't talk about the week's top stories. They are joined by the rest of the studio Bee crew, Matthew McDavid, Dan Coats, and Patrick Green, to have a Thanksgiving feast and talk about gratitude, interesting facts about the history of Thanksgiving, and how Kyle sees himself as Tom Bombadil. In the subscriber portion, the dinner guests break into a meeting of the Chestertonians by reading The Philosophy of Gratitude by G.K. Chesterton.

Also mentioned on the podcast: This article is what producer Dan had in mind about the first socialist thanksgiving: The Great Thanksgiving Hoax.

In this episode of the Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk to Kellen Erskine. Kellen Erskine is a professional stand-up comedian and a current writer on the upcoming Tuttle Twins Television series. Kellen is a repeat guest that provided one of the more hilarious interviews and somehow makes this one even better. Kellen talks about the reason he despises Tik Tok, his first time gambling, and how his wife made his Appendicitis worse.

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.

Topics Discussed

• Passive-aggressive Leaf Blowers
• Virtual Comedy shows
• Why Kellen had to pay for someone to break into his house
• The delicacy of Stand up Comedy
• Selfishness of Christmas songs
• Writing on the Tuttle Twins
• Performing at a Masonic Temple
• The torture of the Berenstain Bears Books
• Brave Ollie Possum
• Gambling in Atlantic City
• Kellen's wife making his appendicitis worse
• Why Kellen despises TikTok

Subscriber Portion

• More on FreeMasons
• Dry Bar Comedy
• Howie Mandel Story
• Lunacy of Highschool Mascots
• 10 Questions
• Good fight story

This is the Babylon Bee Weekly News Podcast for the week of 11/20/2020.

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week's biggest stories like Disney cleaning up that shocking Mandalorian scene where Baby Yoda ate an unfertilized egg, Biden slapping some BLM stickers on attack drones, and Target making marketing decision based on single tweets. Get a behind the scenes look at The Babylon Bee's sweet new animation studio taking flight and listen to Kyle and Ethan talk about weird real news, stuff that's good, and glorious hate mail.

Be sure to check out The Babylon Bee YouTube Channel for more podcasts, podcast shorts, animation, and more.

To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans

This episode is brought to you by Faithful Counseling. Bee listeners get 10% off at that link!

Introduction

Kyle went to Texas and experienced Buc-ee's, guns, and freedom.

Stuff That's Good

Kyle likes Economics in One Lesson by Henry Hazlitt.

Ethan likes the Roald Dahl Audio collection.

Weird News

Sri Lankan Lawmaker bites raw fish to bolster slumping sales

• After a coronavirus outbreak was traced back to the Central Fish maker in Colombo, the country's commercial capital, the fishing industry took a hit.
• "I am making an appeal to the people of this country to eat this fish. Don't be afraid. The coronavirus will not infect you," the lawmaker said, before taking a bite out of a raw fish

Japanese Town Deploys Growling Robot 'Wolves' to protect residents from Bears

• With bear sightings at a five year high, and dozens attacks reported in Japan alone, city officials in the town of Takikawa on the island of Hokkaido
• Looking like a cross between Wolverine and the Terminator, each cyborg Canis lupus comes equipped with flashing red eyes, a blinking tail, and a repertoire of loud, threatening sounds—growls, roars, and heavy machinery noise—all triggered by motion detectors.

School asks parents to stop throwing late students over closed gate

• The Trillade school in Avignon put up signs outside its gate showing a cartoon of a parent sending a small child airborne to get over the fence. The text on the sign asks parents not to throw their children

Botched carving restoration on Spanish building ridiculed online

• A carved figure in the facade of a Spanish building is going viral on social media after an apparent botched restoration left the figure's face unrecognizable.
• The result of the restoration has drawn comparisons to the botched "Monkey Christ" fresco restoration in the town of Borja, as well as comparisons to the faces of a Tusken Raider from Star Wars and U.S. President Donald Trump.

Video shows unauthorized man with flamethrower atop NYC bus

• A rapper who said he was making a tribute to a legendary New York City hip-hop group was recorded shooting a flamethrower from the top of an occupied city bus in an unsanctioned stunt a transit agency spokesman called "absurd, dangerous and just plain stupid.
• Dupree, who also refers to himself as the Flame G.O.D, posted drone footage of the effort. In an earlier Instagram post, he invited people to the area for ice cream, T-shirts and champagne

Egg fight at Tesco after woman was shushed for two minute silence

• A woman was told to shush while other customers observed the silence in of fallen servicemen and women. However, she took umbrage at this.
• A witness heard someone shout "you've disrespected my mother"

7th Grade Language Art teach "living in the forest" and doesn't have adequate internet to host.

Stories of the Week

Disney Edits Controversial Mandalorian Scene So Baby Yoda Just Eats An Unborn Baby

Summary: Disney has edited its controversial scene from The Mandalorian, where The Child eats an unfertilized alien egg, so that the creature affectionately known as "Baby Yoda" will simply eat an unborn human baby instead.

• Libs were mad that Baby Yoda ate an unfertilized alien egg.
• May we also add that the alien egg, along with Baby Yoda, and along with the entire plot and cast of Mandalorian, is FICTIONAL
• Buuuut abortion? Not so much.
• Gina Carano loves us

Progress: Biden Administration To Apply 'Black Lives Matter' Decals To All Attack Drones

Summary: Now this is progress: in a move to bring attention to issues of social justice in the United States, the Biden administration has announced that all attack drones used to bomb countries in the Middle East will have "Black Lives Matter" decals applied to them. Inspiring!

• We're not sure why everyone is acting like the Biden administration will be love, tolerance and rainbows. The Obama administration dropped over 26,000 bombs in 2016 alone. That's 72 bombs a day.

Target Immediately Pulls Bible From Shelves After Church Of Satan Complains

Summary: After the Church of Satan complained on Twitter that Target was selling Bibles, the retailer quickly apologized and pulled the Bible from its shelves. The Church of Satan complained that the book was "Satanophobic." Its tweet got 666 retweets, and Target jumped into action, immediately responding to the tweet that the book was pulled from shelves.

• We jest. But ACTUALLY: Target DID pull Abigail Shrier's book after one person complained.
• UPDATE: Target backpedaled again because a different trans person complained about censorship
• We later found out 40,000 Gamers DID sign a petition to remove the Bible from Target after the retailer decided to ban Grand Theft Auto V from their stores. Target said "we don't sell the Bible."

Topic of the Week: Bee Animation

• Halloween
• ACB
• Satan song

Hate Mail

We got an email from someone who normally likes our stuff.

Subscriber Portion

Subscriber exclusive updates from The Babylon Bee

Mailbag

Gavin asks Kyle and Ethan about changes to old hymns.

Bonus Hate Mail!

Patrick or "laugh track" as he is affectionately called reads hate mail about his laugh.

Subscriber Headlines of the Week

Ethan's "friend" has a really funny story.