The Bari Chronicles

Your appointment is wrapping up, your hand is on the door handle, and you turn around: “Oh, and just one more thing…”

Most of us have done it. In this episode, Damo and Tash talk about the “door handle question”: why we hold back the thing that matters most, and what it can cost us. Damo shares the time he left a symptom that needed urgent attention until he was literally walking out of his pain specialist’s office. Tash talks about nearly giving up on a running-late appointment, and how bringing a list from her dietitian meant she walked out with exactly what she needed.

We also hear from Dr Paige Lanyon-Roberts, a GP with extended skills in obesity medicine at MedSurg Weight Loss. She explains what door handle moments look like from the doctor’s side, why flagging your concern at the start makes such a difference, and why you are very unlikely to shock your GP.

We also cover weight stigma in healthcare, the real cost and wait times of rebooking, writing things down before you go in, and when it’s time to find a new GP.

You’re the expert in your own body. Your concerns deserve proper time.

About Dr Paige Lanyon-Roberts

Dr Paige Lanyon-Roberts is a GP with recognition of extended skills in obesity management, and the Director of MedSurg Weight Loss in Brisbane. Her clinic brings GPs, dietitians, psychology and exercise physiology together under one roof. It offers both medical and surgical pathways for weight management, with telehealth available Australia-wide. Paige is a passionate advocate for stigma-free care that treats the whole person. She’s a much-loved friend of The Bari Chronicles.

https://medsurgweightloss.com.au/

When we first considered metabolic surgery, we thought the goal was pretty obvious: lose weight.

Years later, we realise the scales were only a tiny part of the story.

In this episode of The Bari Chronicles, Tash and Damo go back to where their journeys began and have an open conversation about what metabolic surgery has really meant for both of them.

Tash shares the trauma of her early lap band experience, why it took her years to consider surgery again, and the moment that finally made her decide she wanted a different life.

Damo reflects on having his gastric sleeve in 2014, losing a significant amount of weight, experiencing weight regain, and why having surgery never meant the work was finished.

They also talk about something that doesn't get discussed enough: what happens when the numbers stop being the goal?

Because success might be running a marathon.

It might be climbing a mountain.

It might be getting a better job, being more present with your family, or simply doing something you never thought your body would allow you to do.

And sometimes it's something much quieter.

For Damo, one of those moments came recently when he took his daughter Hermione to her first formal, years after being told he may only have five years to live.

This episode isn't about perfect before-and-after stories.

It's about weight regain, complications, fear, shame, support, learning to live after surgery and recognising the victories that no set of scales can measure.

What's your biggest non-scale victory?

It started with a confession from Damo: “I miss sourdough toast.”

Since having his gastric bypass, every attempt at eating sourdough has ended the same way. His body simply says no.

But what sounds like a conversation about bread quickly becomes something much bigger.

In this episode of The Bari Chronicles, Damo and Tash talk about the foods we lose, rediscover and learn to eat differently after metabolic surgery.

Why can one person eat bread but not sourdough? Why is steak fine for some people and impossible for others? Why can one food suddenly cause dumping, nausea or vomiting when something seemingly similar causes no problem at all?

And then there’s the emotional side.

Sometimes missing a food isn’t really about the food. It’s about memories, family, comfort, socialising and the rituals we’ve attached to eating throughout our lives.

For Damo, sourdough brings back memories of late-night “secret toast” and a cuppa with Mum. For Tash, the conversation opens up memories of growing up in a household where finishing what was on your plate wasn’t optional.

They also talk about protein, changing tastes, food intolerances, portion sizes, eating out, hydration and the pressure to compare your post-surgery diet with everyone else’s.

Because if there’s one thing this conversation makes clear, it’s this:

There is no universal post-surgery menu.

Your body may tolerate something someone else’s doesn’t. Foods you struggle with today might become easier years from now. And sometimes the answer isn’t giving something up completely, but finding a new way to enjoy it.

A funny, personal and surprisingly emotional conversation about food, memories and learning to eat again after metabolic surgery.

Who is responsible for our obesity?

Is it our parents? Genetics? The food we grew up eating? Diet culture? Trauma? Doctors? Our environment?

Or is it us?

In this episode of The Bari Chronicles, Damo and Tash tackle one of the most uncomfortable questions in the obesity and metabolic surgery conversation: How did I actually get here, and who is responsible?

Growing up surrounded by diet culture, food rules, shame and the constant message that weight was something you simply needed to control, both Damo and Tash spent years believing their bodies were somehow a personal failure.

But obesity is far more complicated than that.

They talk openly about genetics, childhood experiences, emotional eating, restrictive dieting, the idea of “good” and “bad” foods, and what happens when you spend years blaming yourself for something you never fully understood.

They also explore an important distinction:

There is a difference between blame and responsibility.

We may not be able to identify one person, decision or moment that caused obesity. And metabolic surgery, medication or weight loss doesn't necessarily mean obesity has been permanently “fixed”.

But we can decide what happens next.

This is a conversation about letting go of shame, accepting the body you have, finding healthcare professionals who actually listen, and taking agency over your health without turning that responsibility into another reason to punish yourself.

Because maybe the most important question isn't:

“Whose fault is it?”

Maybe it's:

“What am I going to do from here?”

Everyone tells you weight loss surgery will change your life. But no one really explains just how much.

In Part 2 of our Nobody Told Me series, Damo and Tash share the unexpected realities that caught them completely off guard after bariatric surgery. From the shock of waking up in pain, learning to eat and drink differently, and navigating embarrassing bathroom changes, to grieving food, changing relationships, loose skin, body image, and discovering who you are without old coping mechanisms—this is the conversation many people wish they'd heard before surgery.

This honest and often humorous episode explores the physical, emotional and social changes that don't end once the operation is over. Whether you're preparing for surgery, newly post-op, or years into your journey, you'll probably find yourself saying, "Nobody told me that."

In this episode, we discuss:

• The realities of recovery that no one prepares you for
• Learning to eat, drink and live differently
• Grieving the loss of food and your old routines
• How surgery changes relationships with family, friends and yourself
• Loose skin, body image and plastic surgery
• Identity shifts and finding new coping strategies
• Why every bariatric journey is unique

This is a conversation about the parts of bariatric surgery that aren't in the brochure—but should be.

Everyone tells you how to prepare for bariatric surgery.

Follow the pre-op diet. Pack your hospital bag. Drink your protein shakes.

But what if that's only preparing you for the 45-minute operation—not the life that follows?

In the first episode of our four-part Nobody Told Me series, Damo and Tash look back on what they thought weight loss surgery would be like... and how wrong they were.

Together they share the moments that led them to surgery, the fears they had the night before, and the reality that no amount of information could have prepared them for the emotional, mental and lifestyle changes that came afterwards.

In this episode we discuss:
• The life-changing moments that made us choose surgery
• Why we believed surgery would "fix everything"
• The difference between preparing for an operation and preparing for a new life
• The misconceptions we both had before surgery
• Why education needs to go far beyond the pre-op diet
• How this conversation sets the stage for the rest of the Nobody Told Me series

If you're considering bariatric surgery, waiting for surgery, or even years down the track, this episode will make you think differently about what it really means to be prepared.

Because the surgery only lasts an hour.

Learning how to live afterwards lasts a lifetime.

In this powerful episode of The Bari Chronicles, Damo and Tash tackle the ongoing issue of weight stigma in healthcare and why so many people living in larger bodies avoid seeking medical treatment altogether.

Recorded at the Digital Health Festival in Melbourne, this honest conversation explores the emotional impact of being judged, shamed, or dismissed in medical settings. From public weigh-ins to inaccessible seating and the assumption that every health issue is simply “because of weight,” Damo and Tash share why dignity, compassion, and lived experience must become part of the conversation in healthcare.

They discuss the importance of creating truly inclusive healthcare spaces, protecting patient dignity, and listening to the voices of people who have lived with obesity. This episode is a reminder that everybody deserves respectful, compassionate care — regardless of their size.

If you’ve ever delayed medical treatment because of fear, shame, or stigma, this episode is for you.

We’d also love to hear your story.

In this deeply personal episode of Bariatric Support Australia’s The Bari Chronicles, Damien and Tash open up about the emotional relationship many people have with food after bariatric surgery. From childhood memories tied to Easter chocolate, to food noise, grief, shame, addiction, and learning what moderation really means — this is an honest conversation about the realities of life years after surgery.

They discuss how surgery changes the body, but not always the emotional connections we have with food, and why psychological support, self-awareness, and self-compassion are so important on the long-term journey.

This episode is raw, reflective, and filled with lived experience that many in the bariatric community will deeply relate to.

After a bit of a hiatus (life has a way of doing that), Tash and Damo are finally back together for a long-overdue catch-up. In this episode, they get real about what's been going on behind the scenes — Damo's recent surgery and a pretty scary complication with a partially collapsed lung, Tash navigating nine weeks post-op life, and all the big life stuff in between, including their dad returning home after four months in Fiji following the loss of their mum. They also dig into what Easter looks like when you're on a bariatric journey — the moderation debate, food plans, emotional eating, and why having a plan matters. It's honest, it's heartfelt, and it's so good to be back.

For many people, the journey doesn’t end after weight loss surgery… it evolves.

In this episode, we sit down with Dr Qiuye Cheng to unpack one of the most overlooked parts of the bariatric journey — excess skin and the reality of skin removal surgery.

We go beyond the surface conversation and get real about what this actually looks like in day-to-day life. This is not about aesthetics. This is about function, comfort, and quality of life.

We discuss:
• Why excess skin can become a serious medical issue — not just cosmetic
• The physical realities: tearing, rashes, infections, and limitations on movement
• The psychological toll and stigma that still exists
• Why so many people are unprepared for this stage of the journey
• The true cost barriers and lack of access through the public system
• What procedures like tummy tucks and 360 body lifts actually involve
• When the right time is to consider skin removal (and why most people rush it)
• The importance of realistic expectations and understanding your body

We also share raw lived experiences — including complications, multiple surgeries, and the reality that outcomes don’t always match expectations.

This is one of the most honest conversations we’ve had about life after massive weight loss.

Because this part matters just as much as the surgery itself.