The Beak » Breakfast with the Beak

Right now, on Earth, a group of billionaires have gotten together and decided we should extract resources from asteroids. And they’re building a spaceship to do it. Yes, it’s a topic so awesome that we didn’t even bother picking it at random. Learn all about who’s involved, what they’re doing, why it rules, and whether […]

Hybrids! It’s a kind of car, but it’s also a sciencey word for abomination! And if there’s one thing we love here at Breakfast with the Beak, it’s an unholy mutant squawking for our attention. Join us on a whirlwind tour of the world of genetic engineering, from the humble mule to the mighty spider-goat! […]

Fruit snacks, am I right? They sure do come in some crazy shapes. At least we think they do; we haven’t really kept up with them since elementary school. So the show mostly ends up being about the Titanic, Kim Jong Un, and our ongoing back-and-forth with Jay V Mail. Come for the show, stay […]

Oh, that’s right: this topic was submitted in all-caps. And we decided to go with it, because it’s a topic that demands the caps lock key. We can choose any totalitarian hellscape we want! So naturally, we decide to talk about Easter candy, behind-the-scenes publishing-world gossip, and alternate titles for John Carter. Oh, and the […]

How has no one asked us about the Muppets until now? And how have they never come up during any of the times that we’ve drifted off-topic? In short, why isn’t everyone constantly thinking about the Muppets? We can’t answer that, but we’re happy to answer just about any other Muppet-related questions our fans might […]

Season Two kicks off with what is easily one of the weirdest topics we’ve ever received. So of course we had a lot to say about it. How are soft drinks named, and who makes these decisions? Whatever happened to those big kegs of McDonalds orange drink? Why would we ever apologize for last week’s […]

For our season one finale, we got trolled again. A clever fan has exploited the topic-suggestion system, and we decided to go along with it because it was pretty funny, and it gave us an excuse to talk about Monopoly. Where lesser broadcasters would simply wax nostalgic about the little Scottie dog, we focus on […]

Twitter. You use it. You’ve probably even read some good stuff on it. But guess what? Some people have no idea what they’re doing on Twitter. They’re misspelling, abbreviating, going over their character limit… it’s downright unsportsmanlike! Oh, and a lot of them are just spamming you because they want to win an iPad or […]

This week, we got an offer from a company that wanted to sponsor a topic… and it immediately fell apart, and we wound up discussing the topic for free like a couple of chumps. Which means you get your household cleaning tips without any pesky advertisements! You’ll learn why you should never let cows into […]

Women be shoppin’, right guys? Seriously, we’re asking. We aren’t entirely sure. Are those men on the benches at the mall really waiting around for their wives, or are they just there for a Cinnabon and a little me-time? And can we stay on-topic long enough to figure it out? Of course not; we need […]