God sends two lovecraftrian creatures into Sodom and Gomorrah to check out the cities. After every single man in these two towns form a mob and tries to gang rape them to death, God decides to destroy the cities in a skin melting display of fire and brimstone. Only four people survive the initial blast... and then, after God randomly turns one of them into pillar of salt, three.  The three of them, a father and his daughters, move into the mountains and start two new tribes through the ancient art of incest.

After all of this Abraham and Sarah move into Gerar and, with the help of God, blackmail the king into giving them even more wealth than they've already accumulated. 

An old lady encourages her husband to rape her slave, he does, and then she is confused and angry that the slave wasn't happy about it. Abraham cooks a giant meal for God who's in his weirdest disguise to date, and then haggles the value of human life, while trying to convince God not to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah.

This episode, with the exception of the Tower of Babel, is mostly made up of obscure stories. We do get to learn the origin of slavery and also see the patriarch of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam pimp out his wife for some livestock and slaves. Fun times had by all!

Generations of people living to be hundreds and hundreds of years old come and go and suddenly there's Noah. At this point God is pissed off about all the fucking going on around him, as well as humankind's violent tendencies, and decides to slaughter every living creature on Earth... except Noah, his family, and around 50,000 animals he's somehow able to get on his boat. Humankind lived on... as I suppose you all know.

We begin at... the beginning, the Genesis, if you will. The first four chapters of Genesis to be exact.

The introduction and my explanation of why I decided to do this podcast.